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Thread started 10/20/16 8:15am

Robert3rd

10/21 Will Be Six Months...Where Are You Within the 5 Stages of Grief

As it happened, I was listening to the first show of the Atlanta Piano & A Microphone sets Tuesday evening/Wednesday morning. About midway through the set, I realized I was actually at the depression stage. This struck me as odd, as I was sure I was at the acceptance stage as early as April 21, since I had the incredible opportunity to attend both ATL shows (1st set in the balcony, 2nd set in the front row), plus shake his hand after the final encore of his final performance.

In fact, once I got the news on 4/21, I never bothered with the first three stages (anger, denial and bargaining), but listening to the show transported me back to that evening in Atlanta, where, even then, I felt a profound sadness at the beginning of the first show, which I think was largely brought on by the intro (Confluence) and it's mostly melancholy undertones. I'm sure this stage for me will be quite temporary relative to where a lot of Orger's were six months ago (or even presently) since I have always understood death as part of the life cycle and accepted deaths of family and friends immediately.

I'm curious to know where are you at within the five stages of grief at the six month mark of Prince's transitioning.

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Reply #1 posted 10/20/16 8:24am

Genesia

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I'm at the point where I would love for people to stop counting.

We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves.
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Reply #2 posted 10/20/16 8:34am

1Sasha

For some reason, "Raspberry Beret" opens the floodgates of tears. Even "Controversy" gets to me. I did not go through the first three stages of grief. The finality of his death ... accepting that ... is where I am at right now. I believe, in 20 years, there will still be a song or a video which stops me cold in my tracks, and I'll remember this feeling. What I am aiming for is to celebrate Prince as much as I can and to spread his good works and his name however possible, such as donating in his memory.

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Reply #3 posted 10/20/16 8:38am

TrivialPursuit

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Genesia said:

I'm at the point where I would love for people to stop counting.


Exactly. Are we going to consistently be reminded of his death every 30 days forever? 6 months - ohh half a year. 7 months - he had songs called 7! 8 months - I feel like the Count on Sesame Street.

Stop remembering the death, and start celebrating the life as you always did.

This experience will cover courtship, sex, commitment, fetishes, loneliness, vindication, love, and hate.
http://bit.ly/1D3FG2U
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Reply #4 posted 10/20/16 8:39am

Rev

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Genesia said:

I'm at the point where I would love for people to stop counting.

Totally agree! That being said I unexpectedly heard Old friends for sale last night and was struck with sadness.

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Reply #5 posted 10/20/16 8:53am

donnyenglish

I'm at the stage where I can begin to celebrate him, but I still can't believe that he is gone. I'm also at the stage where it irritates me when people try to tell others how to grieve and remember him. We all have our difference experience and perspective.

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Reply #6 posted 10/20/16 9:04am

skywalker

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I feel like he is still with us.

-

I mean, my relationship with Prince was through his music and (besides no longer being able to see him in person/onstage) my relationship to Prince is the same---I am connected through his art.

-

Like always, I am eagerly awaiting the next project/album/etc. Soon something will come out and I will have the "new" Prince album. Dig?

[Edited 10/20/16 9:04am]

"New Power slide...."
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Reply #7 posted 10/20/16 9:12am

AnnaStesia91

Still get randomly choked up. I always ask "is this for real" but I know it is unfortunately. So I'm not sure what stage but it's still a sore spot for me.

And yes stop counting. Let's celebrate life and the wealth of music he left us.
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Reply #8 posted 10/20/16 9:29am

laurarichardso
n

Robert3rd said:

As it happened, I was listening to the first show of the Atlanta Piano & A Microphone sets Tuesday evening/Wednesday morning. About midway through the set, I realized I was actually at the depression stage. This struck me as odd, as I was sure I was at the acceptance stage as early as April 21, since I had the incredible opportunity to attend both ATL shows (1st set in the balcony, 2nd set in the front row), plus shake his hand after the final encore of his final performance.

In fact, once I got the news on 4/21, I never bothered with the first three stages (anger, denial and bargaining), but listening to the show transported me back to that evening in Atlanta, where, even then, I felt a profound sadness at the beginning of the first show, which I think was largely brought on by the intro (Confluence) and it's mostly melancholy undertones. I'm sure this stage for me will be quite temporary relative to where a lot of Orger's were six months ago (or even presently) since I have always understood death as part of the life cycle and accepted deaths of family and friends immediately.

I'm curious to know where are you at within the five stages of grief at the six month mark of Prince's transitioning.

Celebrate his life not his death. Also realize that he may be in a better place.

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Reply #9 posted 10/20/16 9:51am

DarkKnight1

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It still sucks.

(Insert something clever here)
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Reply #10 posted 10/20/16 9:53am

cbarnes3121

I think for me the grieving has finally sunk in where I'm really seeing he is gone I find myself crying when I read the good things/tributes and watch the videos. I have never took a death this hard for somebody I didn't personally know but prince has been apart of my life since I was first grade.all my life he has been there inspiring and motivating my musical and spiritual growth. Some days I feel like I just wanna fall out kick and scream
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Reply #11 posted 10/20/16 10:07am

rwhiting

AnnaStesia91 said:

Still get randomly choked up. I always ask "is this for real" but I know it is unfortunately. So I'm not sure what stage but it's still a sore spot for me. And yes stop counting. Let's celebrate life and the wealth of music he left us.

I agree with her comment. That's about where I'm at too now.

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Reply #12 posted 10/20/16 10:19am

ladygirl99

I missed him and I am at acceptance stage. Life went on after Prince death but thankfully he left us with bunch of art (music and videos and his artifacts) for us to enjoy for years to come.

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Reply #13 posted 10/20/16 11:31am

luv4u

Moderator

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moderator

skywalker said:

I feel like he is still with us.

-

I mean, my relationship with Prince was through his music and (besides no longer being able to see him in person/onstage) my relationship to Prince is the same---I am connected through his art.

-

Like always, I am eagerly awaiting the next project/album/etc. Soon something will come out and I will have the "new" Prince album. Dig?

yeahthat

Edmonton, AB - canada
Mod Goddess of the SNIP & BAN Making Moves - OF4S
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
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Reply #14 posted 10/20/16 11:36am

novabrkr

Denial.

I love Prince's music. When I listen to him I just can't imagine the guy that did the music gone. I'm not one to mourn celebrity deaths in general, but this is something different.

Like another orger already commented, "it sucks". I don't tear up when I think about it, but there's just something that really "sucks" about it in a way that I have hard time putting into words.

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Reply #15 posted 10/20/16 11:50am

novabrkr

By the way, the first stage is denial, not anger.

It goes:


Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression

Acceptance

With "celebrity deaths", I think one can get "thrown back" to an earlier stage too. It's because they can be present via recorded media in a completely different way than with family members and so on. Songs can be touching in a way that mere photographs or video clips of a family member just doing mundane things can't.

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Reply #16 posted 10/20/16 11:53am

malbena

TrivialPursuit said:

Genesia said:

I'm at the point where I would love for people to stop counting.


Exactly. Are we going to consistently be reminded of his death every 30 days forever? 6 months - ohh half a year. 7 months - he had songs called 7! 8 months - I feel like the Count on Sesame Street.

Stop remembering the death, and start celebrating the life as you always did.

Easy now. Nothing wrong in being inquisitive about orgers' current emotions regarding Prince's passing. Especially if it aims at supporting one another. by sharing copies strategies. comfort

To answer the question, I am in the "acceptance" stage of grief. I re-lived many experiences I had during my time at Paisley Park over and over again and finally accepted this was int he past.

This is my normal life. These marital standards cannot be recreated with money.
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Reply #17 posted 10/20/16 11:53am

SoEas42

I'm at the acceptance stage. It's still hard to believe that Prince died but I have accepted it. I'm thankful for all of his music, his wisdom, and his activism. Not only was he talented but he just seemed to have a good heart. I wish we had him around longer but his music will live on forever.
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Reply #18 posted 10/20/16 12:05pm

TrivialPursuit

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malbena said:

Easy now. Nothing wrong in being inquisitive about orgers' current emotions regarding Prince's passing. Especially if it aims at supporting one another. by sharing copies strategies. comfort


I'm not being mean. I'm stating an alternative approach to it. It reminded me of how brides spend so much time on a wedding, yet pay no mind to their marriage. It's a bit that way with grief process - people fixate on the one day of departure on April 21, instead of enjoying the 57 years. To put that in perspective, that's 21,139 days. It seems out of proportion to concentrate energies on one day, instead of celebrating the other 21K+. We get stuck in grief because we want things to change, yet they never, ever, ever will. It's why I think acceptance can be comforting in some regards, or at least slightly lessen the pang of death.

Don't get it twisted, though - I get caught off guard every once in a blue moon and feel a lump in my throat. Sometimes I can watch videos endlessly and be fine. But there could be one time where something comes on and I'm like "Not today, Satan!". And I turn it off.

This experience will cover courtship, sex, commitment, fetishes, loneliness, vindication, love, and hate.
http://bit.ly/1D3FG2U
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Reply #19 posted 10/20/16 12:24pm

malbena

TrivialPursuit said:



malbena said:



Easy now. Nothing wrong in being inquisitive about orgers' current emotions regarding Prince's passing. Especially if it aims at supporting one another. by sharing copies strategies. comfort





I'm not being mean. I'm stating an alternative approach to it. It reminded me of how brides spend so much time on a wedding, yet pay no mind to their marriage. It's a bit that way with grief process - people fixate on the one day of departure on April 21, instead of enjoying the 57 years. To put that in perspective, that's 21,139 days. It seems out of proportion to concentrate energies on one day, instead of celebrating the other 21K+. We get stuck in grief because we want things to change, yet they never, ever, ever will. It's why I think acceptance can be comforting in some regards, or at least slightly lessen the pang of death.

Don't get it twisted, though - I get caught off guard every once in a blue moon and feel a lump in my throat. Sometimes I can watch videos endlessly and be fine. But there could be one time where something comes on and I'm like "Not today, Satan!". And I turn it off.



That is one good alternative. Focusing on the time he was alive and the gifts he left us.
biggrin
This is my normal life. These marital standards cannot be recreated with money.
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Reply #20 posted 10/20/16 12:26pm

purplethunder3
121

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I don't do "stages."

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #21 posted 10/20/16 12:27pm

morningsong

I no longer believe in any arbitrary or authoritarian emotional checklist. I'm grieving and I will be for a very long time, it just exist, this person played a pretty substantial role for majority of my life, he is missed, there are no switches or gears for it. So with that, there are up moments and down moments completely random, things that strike me in different ways at different times. I've accepted that and just live my life, there's so many things I want to do. I will say, I have stopped ticking off the weeks, but I'm still very much aware of the passing time. I haven't reached the moment where I forget for an instant yet.

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Reply #22 posted 10/20/16 12:35pm

purplethunder3
121

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I'm not a linear person. Never have been, never will be.

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #23 posted 10/20/16 1:42pm

Bluu

Calmer than I was.

Think I've numbed myself for much of the 6 months.

I've barely tapped into my anger and kind of wish I would. Not healthy to bottle up emotions but sadly, that's my M.O.

Trying to figure out what death really is. Working it out in my head.... coming to terms with his transition and learning not to fear death. Learning that dead doesn't mean 'gone' or 'lost' or ended. Just transition and continuation in another form.

Miss him. Know his soul lives. But I miss him. . He took a part of me with him. It's okay though. because it was his to keep.

Not a day goes by I don't have him in my mind.

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Reply #24 posted 10/20/16 2:32pm

gollygirl

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morningsong said:

I no longer believe in any arbitrary or authoritarian emotional checklist. I'm grieving and I will be for a very long time, it just exist, this person played a pretty substantial role for majority of my life, he is missed, there are no switches or gears for it. So with that, there are up moments and down moments completely random, things that strike me in different ways at different times. I've accepted that and just live my life, there's so many things I want to do. I will say, I have stopped ticking off the weeks, but I'm still very much aware of the passing time. I haven't reached the moment where I forget for an instant yet.

I am exactly the same as this - this is where I am at too & I never forget for an instant either. This is a much longer haul than I thought it would be & it is still painful.

Thank you Prince for every note you left behind 💜
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Reply #25 posted 10/21/16 5:59am

remko

avatar

gollygirl said:

morningsong said:

I no longer believe in any arbitrary or authoritarian emotional checklist. I'm grieving and I will be for a very long time, it just exist, this person played a pretty substantial role for majority of my life, he is missed, there are no switches or gears for it. So with that, there are up moments and down moments completely random, things that strike me in different ways at different times. I've accepted that and just live my life, there's so many things I want to do. I will say, I have stopped ticking off the weeks, but I'm still very much aware of the passing time. I haven't reached the moment where I forget for an instant yet.

I am exactly the same as this - this is where I am at too & I never forget for an instant either. This is a much longer haul than I thought it would be & it is still painful.

Here we are, its the 21st..

I agree with the both of you and yes, it indeed is a much longer haul than i ever would have expected. But i understand. He has been there for so long, in so many stages of my live.

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Reply #26 posted 10/21/16 6:16am

rainbowchild

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Acceptance, finally. sad
"Just like the sun, the Rainbow Children rise."

"Am I black or white? Am I straight or gay?"

"We had fun, didn't we?"
-Prince (1958-2016) 4ever in my life
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Reply #27 posted 10/21/16 6:40am

malbena

novabrkr said:

By the way, the first stage is denial, not anger.

It goes:


Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression

Acceptance

With "celebrity deaths", I think one can get "thrown back" to an earlier stage too. It's because they can be present via recorded media in a completely different way than with family members and so on. Songs can be touching in a way that mere photographs or video clips of a family member just doing mundane things can't.

Good point!

I also think it is possible to either skip a stage or live a stage for a very short amount of time.

This is my normal life. These marital standards cannot be recreated with money.
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Reply #28 posted 10/21/16 7:08am

RodeoSchro

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I don't know what the stages are, but I'm still sad.

We had dinner last night with some not-that-close friends and a lady said, "I know you're upset about Prince. Can you believe he was hooked on drugs?"

That made me really mad.

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's Palladin
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Reply #29 posted 10/21/16 7:19am

0uterageous

half way into this....and it stills feels like a realistic nightmare

For me personally, it still doesn't make sense or add up. One minute, you are fine....Suddenly, something happens...bounced back and seem fine. Then you're gone , it seems so strange sad

On a positive note, last saturday I was grateful to share this moment with few fans at Chanhassen Cinemas. I just got back from spending the day in MPLS and went back to the inn around 5:30ish. Then went to a nearby walgreens and afterwards walked to go see the mural. Around that time, the weather was mostly cloudy and drizzling.

Anyways, once i got to the mural...i seen a few other people there taking pics. Minutes later, one of them points out a slightly visible rainbow over the mural and so began the non-stop photo sessions. Eventually the rainbow became more visible and at some point it looked like we witnessed a double rainbow. By the time the rainbow(s) faded out, others left and i was alone with the mural for pretty much an hour. I just couldn't move where i was standing and gazing at, especially when the sky turned purple. I was completely in awe and believe it was from him..giving us a "performance"

[Edited 10/21/16 8:10am]

[Edited 10/21/16 8:11am]

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