I just can't take this pain anymore, it still hurts like hell. I'm sat here sobbing like a baby after watching two videos on Youtube. This is never going to be ok, it's never going to get easier. I want him back, how is it possible??? It makes me so angry that he's gone and so hopeless and so lost, I sound like a deranged crazy lady but I miss him so much and nothing I do or say can even express the pain I feel at his loss. I don't understand what happened, why or how, I just know I will never be the same again

coming in here helps...