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Thread started 06/24/16 11:33pm

AnonymousFan

The change in my world since the incident...

I know it's been about 2 months and that I should've chilled out, but I'm still deeply affected and I kinda just wanna talk about how bad I've been feeling on the inside lately.

prince

Since what's happened to Prince, I feel like we've been accelerated toward the Revelation +200 years - all that's good in the world is gone and it literally feels like the world is ending. Like, it's possible that he could've been the last weight of order on the scale of balance and now he's gone. The world immediately fell apart when Prince left. I feel robbed, I feel like the most unfortunate kid on the planet, I feel like I was born too late, I feel like I'm going to have to endure nothing but mediocrity for the next 50+ years. There is nothing and no one interesting, exciting, or worthwhile anymore - the culture is over, the icons are dead. The greatness is gone. I'm too late. This is actually purgatory. I'm trapped on a planet with all the mediocre people. This surely is some type of intergalactic, planet-encompassing maximum security prison. The future is bleak.

prince

Prince is a lot of the reason I chose my major, he's the inspiration behind a lot of my ideas. I followed him on Twitter and I'd listen to the things he said and read the links he posted about the music industry and his take on the state of things, I'd analyze his strategy (specifically when he spoke of HitNRun Phase 2 distribution and his actions regarding Tidal as well as scalping) and formulate potential new business models that address issues at hand. I'd do my own research into a lot of the topics he dwelled on, etc.... I still have my sense of purpose - I know I'm supposed to do something great, but I've been completely demoralized. I can't find the motivation to do anything I'm supposed to be doing and I can't be bothered to critically think about my projects anymore, whereas I used to be excited and dilligent about them. I just feel like I'm trying to fulfill an obligation to God/the Higher Power/my Soul as opposed to chasing my great, beautiful, amazing destiny like I had before. I feel like I have a choice now; like failure is an option, but it's not. The creativity isn't coming to me like it used to and the focus is in a dissipated state. The magic has gone.

prince

This has been a terrible year in general. All of these great people are dying; we move ever more towards normalizing mediocrity; time goes on, but no one has done anything significant or achieved iconicism since the 90s; the tech giants are destroying and demonizing authenticity. Everything is going wrong... the horror.

[Edited 6/24/16 23:33pm]

[Edited 6/24/16 23:36pm]

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Reply #1 posted 06/24/16 11:48pm

panpac777

avatar

I feel the same failure and pain. Helplessness. U r not alone.
I know. Maybe the end/ the war is coming. I dunno.
All I know is there is nothing left to live for. You are young tho. So try to use him as inspiration to make a difference. Make that change. Then his life was not in vain.
[Edited 6/24/16 23:51pm]
[Edited 6/24/16 23:52pm]
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Reply #2 posted 06/24/16 11:53pm

nursev

Well Prince's death eek was indeed sad and touched so many of our lives, but you need to find a way to pull yourself out of this grief. Prolonged grief is not good. I think he would want you to try and continue to be creative and find motivation in all the work he left for you to explore. But no lie its been a terrible 2 months.

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Reply #3 posted 06/25/16 12:32am

morningsong

Don't let lensing bring you down. Know that you feel bad and you're focusing on the bad which makes you feel worse. Actively search for joy. Even the tiny ones. Rewire your psyche.


Now i want to use FKATI forever known as the incident
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Reply #4 posted 06/25/16 12:49am

ACharmed1

I'm sorry U feel such sorrow. Listen to Comeback, and Wherever U Go Whatever U Do, they both have very touching and deep meaning that can be a great comfort to U right now. P wouldn't want U or any of us hurting, but we are. Where there is great sorrow and sadness means there is great love. Pick a project to start and let P guide U is my suggestion. We can't stop the madness in the world, but with God in Ur heart we'll never die, with P in Ur heart the funkyness thrives. Essentially with God and P we got funk and love for eternity, sounds good to me! rose

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Reply #5 posted 06/25/16 1:17am

AnonymousFan

morningsong said:

Don't let lensing bring you down. Know that you feel bad and you're focusing on the bad which makes you feel worse. Actively search for joy. Even the tiny ones. Rewire your psyche. Now i want to use FKATI forever known as the incident

Yes, that is a good way to refer to it, isn't it? "What is forever known as the incident" or "The event forever known as the incident".

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Reply #6 posted 06/25/16 1:17am

breakdown2k14

avatar

I'm sorry u feel this way .we are here to comfort u though . i feel the same way your feeling but I have my good days and bad days .Some days Im really happy and some days I'm very sad .I lost interest in a lot of things also since Prince's passing but I know prince wouldn't want us suffering . Your young and u should try to stay positive .But it was good of u to post rather than keep your feelings all boddled up.I hope things get better for u.
There's Joy in repetition
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Reply #7 posted 06/25/16 5:06am

flipper1960

it is out there for you...all you need to do is find it. horrible things and beautiful things happen every second of every day...chase the beauty, it is out there, and it is in you. let YOUR inner prince shine, it is the ultimate tribute to him, for real. learn from your pain, prince was alwyas a teacher and a student, emulate him, the most important lessons are learned through pain...and remember everybody's searching for the ladder.

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Reply #8 posted 06/25/16 5:32am

benni

He's still with us. "Paisley Park is in ur heart". I've been feeling the same way, and a few nights ago I had a dream about Prince and he asked me why I was sad. I told him because he was gone. He said, "I am here, where are u?" I told him, "but you aren't here, can't you see that???" He pointed to my chest and asked me, "are u saying, I'm not there?" I said, "you'll always be there" and he said, "then how am I gone?" He placed his hand above my heart and said, "I am here, where are u?" And then I woke up. I decided at that moment that I move forward with my life, doing the best I can, being the best I can, knowing that he is always in my heart, forever more. My life, my actions, will always reflect love4oneanother, my legacy will be a testament to the Father and Son, but also to the impact that Prince had upon my life, to my world. I think as a fam/n our greatest tribute to Prince will be our own lives and what we do with them.

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Reply #9 posted 06/25/16 6:44am

luvparade

Thank U OP and Everyone who posted rose U touched my heart and it feels a little like a healing yes Everything U said is true and it helps Big Time to hear U share exactly what it feels like. Thank U and Thanks also to All pf the Orgers who have been filling in the pieces of my heart

2Gether heart 4Ever
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Reply #10 posted 06/25/16 6:46am

luvparade

benni said:

He's still with us. "Paisley Park is in ur heart". I've been feeling the same way, and a few nights ago I had a dream about Prince and he asked me why I was sad. I told him because he was gone. He said, "I am here, where are u?" I told him, "but you aren't here, can't you see that???" He pointed to my chest and asked me, "are u saying, I'm not there?" I said, "you'll always be there" and he said, "then how am I gone?" He placed his hand above my heart and said, "I am here, where are u?" And then I woke up. I decided at that moment that I move forward with my life, doing the best I can, being the best I can, knowing that he is always in my heart, forever more. My life, my actions, will always reflect love4oneanother, my legacy will be a testament to the Father and Son, but also to the impact that Prince had upon my life, to my world. I think as a fam/n our greatest tribute to Prince will be our own lives and what we do with them.

that is so cool cool Thanks for sharing that present

2Gether heart 4Ever
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Reply #11 posted 06/25/16 8:11am

PurpleBabied

I know it's been about 2 months and that I should've chilled out, but I'm still deeply affected and I kinda just wanna talk about how bad I've been feeling on the inside lately.

prince

Since what's happened to Prince, I feel like we've been accelerated toward the Revelation +200 years - all that's good in the world is gone and it literally feels like the world is ending. Like, it's possible that he could've been the last weight of order on the scale of balance and now he's gone. The world immediately fell apart when Prince left. I feel robbed, I feel like the most unfortunate kid on the planet, I feel like I was born too late, I feel like I'm going to have to endure nothing but mediocrity for the next 50+ years. There is nothing and no one interesting, exciting, or worthwhile anymore - the culture is over, the icons are dead. The greatness is gone. I'm too late. This is actually purgatory. I'm trapped on a planet with all the mediocre people. This surely is some type of intergalactic, planet-encompassing maximum security prison. The future is bleak.

prince

Prince is a lot of the reason I chose my major, he's the inspiration behind a lot of my ideas. I followed him on Twitter and I'd listen to the things he said and read the links he posted about the music industry and his take on the state of things, I'd analyze his strategy (specifically when he spoke of HitNRun Phase 2 distribution and his actions regarding Tidal as well as scalping) and formulate potential new business models that address issues at hand. I'd do my own research into a lot of the topics he dwelled on, etc.... I still have my sense of purpose - I know I'm supposed to do something great, but I've been completely demoralized. I can't find the motivation to do anything I'm supposed to be doing and I can't be bothered to critically think about my projects anymore, whereas I used to be excited and dilligent about them. I just feel like I'm trying to fulfill an obligation to God/the Higher Power/my Soul as opposed to chasing my great, beautiful, amazing destiny like I had before. I feel like I have a choice now; like failure is an option, but it's not. The creativity isn't coming to me like it used to and the focus is in a dissipated state. The magic has gone.

prince

This has been a terrible year in general. All of these great people are dying; we move ever more towards normalizing mediocrity; time goes on, but no one has done anything significant or achieved iconicism since the 90s; the tech giants are destroying and demonizing authenticity. Everything is going wrong... the horror.

How old are you?

Regardless,

Find someone to talk to like actual friends AND a psychologist. You're reacting like you lost your fatherbrothermotherlovermentor and organizing principle in your life. There's nothing in your post that suggests you had a personal relationship beyond being a huge fan. Creativity isn't like the Highlander or the Slayer in the first six seasons of Buffy; there can be more than one source. I think Prince would find more than one locus of creativity at a time and he did! All the time!

Authenticity and creativity are like energy. They cannot be created or destroyed, they can only be transformed. It's the law of conservation; it's God if you believe.

This seems like an outsized reaction. Is there anything else going on in your life are you avoiding having feelings or thinking about to channel your feelings through this?

I say this as someone who has been

a totalizing, catastrophizing depressive since the 8th grade.

If you want to org note me, feel free. I relate, I do. It sucks to feel everything so acutely and terribly and nothing at the same time in what seems like a period of end time suckage (see 1000, 1913, 1942, 1984 1999, 2012...now).

hug

[Edited 6/25/16 8:16am]

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Reply #12 posted 06/25/16 9:34am

eightiesbrat

A lot of what you are feeling and have expressed in your post, I experienced in the weeks directly after. I felt an emptiness that I couldn't really understand or put together, the world felt so much dimmer and I wondered when I would begin to feel better and how that would happen. It took over a month for me to begin to start feeling myself again. I still haven't returned to where I was before April 21st, haven't fully returned to all the things I was interested in then and my focus is still very much on all things Prince. But I can feel the move forward happening and I know with more time it will only get better.

I hope you see your way out of this and that you are inspired again and happy in the world. It has been 2 months but if you think about it, that's not really all that long. ((((hugs)))))

We all want the stuff that's found in our wildest dreams. . .
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Reply #13 posted 06/25/16 3:54pm

AnonymousFan

eightiesbrat said:

A lot of what you are feeling and have expressed in your post, I experienced in the weeks directly after. I felt an emptiness that I couldn't really understand or put together, the world felt so much dimmer and I wondered when I would begin to feel better and how that would happen. It took over a month for me to begin to start feeling myself again. I still haven't returned to where I was before April 21st, haven't fully returned to all the things I was interested in then and my focus is still very much on all things Prince. But I can feel the move forward happening and I know with more time it will only get better.


I hope you see your way out of this and that you are inspired again and happy in the world. It has been 2 months but if you think about it, that's not really all that long. ((((hugs)))))



I don't think I'll ever feel the same again. Everything just feels irreparable and the thought of living in a world without Prince for decades on is almost intolerable. It's the idea that makes me feel trapped. If everything's just gonna be like this from now on - boring, bland, fake, unoriginal, and unsurprising - then, it's gonna be a pain to deal with.
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Reply #14 posted 06/25/16 8:43pm

ksgemini63

People all sarcasm aside u r seriously concerning me and it is a bit scary. If Prince's death truly is affecting your work, relationships and zest for life please talk to a mental health professional or family member. This level of despair is not normal and honestly frightening.
[Edited 6/25/16 20:46pm]
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Reply #15 posted 06/25/16 11:24pm

Bluu

Hi Anonynous. I appreciate so much that you shared with your purple family the depth of the pain and despair you have been feeling lately with Prince's death. Reading your words helps me access these same emotions in myself that I have been feeling in waves since 4/21. By facing those feelings, I think I have made major inroads into healing. I believe you will too.

.

I thought that because I spent much of the first three days after his passing crying, I thought I was through it. Through the first phase of it, I guess. I can have a week where I feel alright, look at pictures, hear a song, and I can feel strong in the faith and knowledge that Prince's spirit never ended. Energy ('NRG') cannot die. But in the past couple of weeks, I have moved into a phase of having good and bad days.... A picture of Paisley Park lit up in purple made me cry again about an hour ago. When the loss hits me, it hits hard, and I feel like my life's main purpose came to an end. Like the most magical, fantastic dream turned to into tragedy and ruin of monumental proportions. An unsafe way to think, I know--but this is honestly what goes through my mind when I'm feeling my lowest. Facing one's despair and pain is part of processing grief. Trust the process.

.

You are not alone in being deeply affected by Prince's transition, even two months after the fact. There's others here with us, I know....

.

You might want to look into talking with a therapist to see if it is helpful at all. But as far as I'm concerned, you and others can turn to the .Org for moral and emotional support as you continue to work through the loss of our dearly beloved one.

.

Wishing you and all of my Purple Family inner peace, strength and continued healing.

heart

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Reply #16 posted 06/25/16 11:49pm

morningsong

AnonymousFan said:



morningsong said:


Don't let lensing bring you down. Know that you feel bad and you're focusing on the bad which makes you feel worse. Actively search for joy. Even the tiny ones. Rewire your psyche. Now i want to use FKATI forever known as the incident


Yes, that is a good way to refer to it, isn't it? "What is forever known as the incident" or "The event forever known as the incident".




TEFKATI

I like it.
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Reply #17 posted 06/26/16 12:26am

sonshine

avatar

I'm sorry you are hurting. Prince was so colorful, energetic, prolific, and beautiful how can the world not seem a bit dimmer now that he's not here anymore? I totally get it. I also feel that there is nothing or no one out there who is creating anything remotely entertaining or interesting. Believe me I have made a conscious effort to explore other music etc and everything is dull and boring. But I'm not going to give up and neither should you. Prince would be very humbled that he inspired you so much. And he would also be very distraught to know how badly his passing has affected you. He would want you to be happy and successful. Prince didn't have the best or most stable upbringing yet he didn't let that stop him from doing great things. He should still be here. His death was tragedy no doubt. It still hurts when reality seeps back in. The tears don't come as frequently but my heart will probably never be quite as light as it did before. You must not give up hope that it will get better. Because it truly will. It certainly helps to have somewhere like the org where we can talk about him as much as we want for as long as we want because my family and friends are over listening to me go on about him. Where do you live? I'm in MN and if it would help you I could make the short trip to PP and leave a personal message on the gate there from you to Prince. You could send it to me in an org note and I will print it off. So many others have found some peace in leaving things there for him. Or I would be happy to pick up a poster or something at the Wrecka Stow he shopped at and send it to you. Let me know what you think. I really don't mind.
[Edited 6/26/16 0:28am]
It's a hurtful place, the world, in and of itself. We don't need to add to it. We all need one another. ~ PRN
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Reply #18 posted 06/26/16 12:43am

WhisperingDand
elions

avatar

I would say try to sublimate your pain into combating the "mediocrity" as you term it with your own life actions and pursuits (just as Prince did), rather than sit and be stifled by it (which he certainly did not).

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Reply #19 posted 06/26/16 1:35am

AaronA

I can relate to all you said. Music has died to me, 31 years was a long time to idolise him

It cetainly feels like the end is near and his music will be what I listen to forever, no one else compares. sad

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Reply #20 posted 06/26/16 3:18am

Astasheiks

avatar

Both Post #1 and #19 mention feel like the end is near. "The Sky was all Purple there were people running everywhere"... eye crysball

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Reply #21 posted 06/26/16 7:55am

captiveunicorn

sonshine said:

I'm sorry you are hurting. Prince was so colorful, energetic, prolific, and beautiful how can the world not seem a bit dimmer now that he's not here anymore? I totally get it. I also feel that there is nothing or no one out there who is creating anything remotely entertaining or interesting. Believe me I have made a conscious effort to explore other music etc and everything is dull and boring. But I'm not going to give up and neither should you. Prince would be very humbled that he inspired you so much. And he would also be very distraught to know how badly his passing has affected you. He would want you to be happy and successful. Prince didn't have the best or most stable upbringing yet he didn't let that stop him from doing great things. He should still be here. His death was tragedy no doubt. It still hurts when reality seeps back in. The tears don't come as frequently but my heart will probably never be quite as light as it did before. You must not give up hope that it will get better. Because it truly will. It certainly helps to have somewhere like the org where we can talk about him as much as we want for as long as we want because my family and friends are over listening to me go on about him. Where do you live? I'm in MN and if it would help you I could make the short trip to PP and leave a personal message on the gate there from you to Prince. You could send it to me in an org note and I will print it off. So many others have found some peace in leaving things there for him. Or I would be happy to pick up a poster or something at the Wrecka Stow he shopped at and send it to you. Let me know what you think. I really don't mind.
[Edited 6/26/16 0:28am]


Agree with this beautiful post.

Anon fan it's really normal to feel this way so soon after a significant loss, that things seem meaningless and banal. I didn't know prince but I know he would not have wanted his passing to make you lose hope for the future. What do you think he would say to you if he read your post? i think he would say it's ok to feel sad now but this feeling will lift and then you will be ready to carry on doing the work he inspired you to do. And if you believe in heaven and so on, believe he will be there watching you and feeling proud to see you progress when you are ready. He may be gone from Twitter but you can still "talk" with him any time you like. I do.

It may be too soon for you right now to be 'OK' with everything and that's ok. I'm glad you're talking about your feelings. Prince's legacy will never die - it lives through people like you and me, his fans, as long as we remember him and be the change that he wanted in the world.
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Reply #22 posted 06/26/16 10:31am

eightiesbrat

AnonymousFan said:

eightiesbrat said:

A lot of what you are feeling and have expressed in your post, I experienced in the weeks directly after. I felt an emptiness that I couldn't really understand or put together, the world felt so much dimmer and I wondered when I would begin to feel better and how that would happen. It took over a month for me to begin to start feeling myself again. I still haven't returned to where I was before April 21st, haven't fully returned to all the things I was interested in then and my focus is still very much on all things Prince. But I can feel the move forward happening and I know with more time it will only get better.

I hope you see your way out of this and that you are inspired again and happy in the world. It has been 2 months but if you think about it, that's not really all that long. ((((hugs)))))

I don't think I'll ever feel the same again. Everything just feels irreparable and the thought of living in a world without Prince for decades on is almost intolerable. It's the idea that makes me feel trapped. If everything's just gonna be like this from now on - boring, bland, fake, unoriginal, and unsurprising - then, it's gonna be a pain to deal with.

I really feel like it could be that you just need more time. So much of what you have expressed, many of us here have felt it just seems like it's still very acute and raw for you and we all grieve in different ways and at different paces. Some great responses in this thread, you are in the right place for people to hear you and share their thoughts too. I will say, I think one of the reasons so many felt deeply affected by this loss is exactly what you address, we realize we'll never see the likes of Prince again . . . most likely. . . and that is a sobering thought indeed. But it shouldn't change your approach to life or your happiness in the long run and I hope it doesn't. It's great that you are addressing your feelings and what is going through your mind and heart, that's a great place to start, even though it is a tough process.

We all want the stuff that's found in our wildest dreams. . .
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