isobelfq said:

babynoz said:

It wasn't so much an issue of getting older or mortality for me because I was already dealing with those issues before Prince passed. He's only a couple of years older than me and being over fifty often means that the aches and pains come more frequently. Acid reflux, back pain, knee pain, sleep apnea, etc. It seems that every day brings a new ailment, wrinkle or bulge....

For me, I miss Prince's actual presence. Knowing that he was "Somewhere Here On Earth" made sense. Now it feels like a big mistake was made and the world is somehow broken without him in it. The universe just doesn't make sense anymore....it's weird.

I do agree that it feels like a piece of me died. It's as if there's a big hole in my heart or something.

This is what it is for me. Whenever anyone said something like "you're not really griving for him; you're grieving for yourself" or something like that I always thought "No, I'm grieving for HIM. For as long as I can remember, I've felt like life was tedius, difficult and a bit boring. For that reason I don't really look at death with the same fear most other people seem to have. So just knowing that he was in the world always brought me such comfort and joy. And the universe doesn't make sense.

I don't know. If I was in a better frame of mind I would put this more elequently but...right now...I just can't.

Just so no one worries, I'm not suicidal. Even though I don't believe in God I do believe in reincarnation so...yeah.

I'm glad you get what I was trying to say.

babynoz said:

Krystalkisses said:

I agree! You phrased it perfectly. I think it ties into fears of our youth, getting older, mortality and all of that as well.

Isobelfq, good for you in taking a positive step in the right direction. Therapy can be very benefical and I hope it helps you deal with all the emotions you are having as I know grieving can be extremely overwhleming. I think being a Prince fan all added to our identities in a way and his death has left us feeling like a piece of us has died as well, he was such an inspiration to many, and through the personal nature of his lyrics, he was someone many of us could identify with. This is hard to deal with but I hope you find inner peace on the journey.

It wasn't so much an issue of getting older or mortality for me because I was already dealing with those issues before Prince passed. He's only a couple of years older than me and being over fifty often means that the aches and pains come more frequently. Acid reflux, back pain, knee pain, sleep apnea, etc. It seems that every day brings a new ailment, wrinkle or bulge....

For me, I miss Prince's actual presence. Knowing that he was "Somewhere Here On Earth" made sense. Now it feels like a big mistake was made and the world is somehow broken without him in it. The universe just doesn't make sense anymore....it's weird.

I do agree that it feels like a piece of me died. It's as if there's a big hole in my heart or something. The only way I can think of to honor his memory and fill that hole is to follow the example he left and remember what I learned from him about perseverance, creativity, taking risks and fighting back.

Thinking about what I learned from him is helpful.

All of the above in bold expresses exactly what I have been thinking and feeling in better words than I have been able to state. As I told someone recently, it felt like my youth...and a big part of myself disappeared over night. I think that Babynoz expressed the best way to try and deal with this huge loss. Hang in there, everyone! We're in this together...

purplethunder3121 said:

babynoz said:

It wasn't so much an issue of getting older or mortality for me because I was already dealing with those issues before Prince passed. He's only a couple of years older than me and being over fifty often means that the aches and pains come more frequently. Acid reflux, back pain, knee pain, sleep apnea, etc. It seems that every day brings a new ailment, wrinkle or bulge....

For me, I miss Prince's actual presence. Knowing that he was "Somewhere Here On Earth" made sense. Now it feels like a big mistake was made and the world is somehow broken without him in it. The universe just doesn't make sense anymore....it's weird.

I do agree that it feels like a piece of me died. It's as if there's a big hole in my heart or something. The only way I can think of to honor his memory and fill that hole is to follow the example he left and remember what I learned from him about perseverance, creativity, taking risks and fighting back.

Thinking about what I learned from him is helpful.

All of the above in bold expresses exactly what I have been thinking and feeling in better words than I have been able to state. As I told someone recently, it felt like my youth...and a big part of myself disappeared over night. I think that Babynoz expressed the best way to try and deal with this huge loss. Hang in there, everyone! We're in this together...

Yep, we had better hang together because we're all we got. Most of our families and friends don't really want to hear any more about it.

isobelfq said:

I feel stagnant, stuck. ...It's been over a month and I don't know what to do any more.

Thank you for sharing this and I can totally relate. I am fortunate to work for myself and my enthusiasm and internal drive that just a few months ago was on overdrive has really started to decline since 4/21. I gave myself a week to really grieve but now I just dont have any inspiration and it really sucks. Hang in there and keep us posted....

isobelfq said:

I don't know if this is the right forum to post this so if it gets moved or deleted I do apoligize but I have to say this to someone. I'm getting grief counseling. I can't do this any more. Prince has always inspired me to greatness and creativity; whether it be to work on one of my scripts or the desire to learn a new instrument. Now all of that is gone. I feel stagnant, stuck. I wake up in the morning feeling ok, but by the end of the day I'm barely making it. I see all these tributes and see how his passing has inspired so many people and I'm just not there. I've said this before but I'll say it again. I didn't feel this bad when my father died. I doubt I'll feel this bad when my mother dies. I just...It's been over a month and I don't know what to do any more.

i applaud you for getting the help you need

babynoz said:

purplethunder3121 said:

All of the above in bold expresses exactly what I have been thinking and feeling in better words than I have been able to state. As I told someone recently, it felt like my youth...and a big part of myself disappeared over night. I think that Babynoz expressed the best way to try and deal with this huge loss. Hang in there, everyone! We're in this together...

Yep, we had better hang together because we're all we got. Most of our families and friends don't really want to hear any more about it.

This is so true... I really couldn't do without the Org right now. The positive part of it, that is. Because one of the biggest challenges for me right now is the dilemma of who and what will help me heal from Prince's loss, when it was his music (and continuing adventures) that helped me get through so many hard times and recent losses in my life.

If you have to take a break to mourn n grieve, Its ok. Its gonna hurt for awhile. Keep talking dont hold it in. Your not alone. My 1 - 2 artists are gone, Bowie n now Prince. Talk about a serious gut punch.

'I've nothing much to offer
There was so much to take
I'm an absolute beginner
And I'm absolutely sane
As long as we're together
The rest can go to --
I absolutely love you'

[Edited 5/24/16 15:43pm]

hifidelity67 said:

If you have to take a break to mourn n grieve, Its ok. Its gonna hurt for awhile. Keep talking dont hold it in. Your not alone. My 1 - 2 artists are gone, Bowie n now Prince. Talk about a serious gut punch.

[Edited 5/24/16 15:35pm]

Yes, seriously... It was a blow when Bowie passed away...but he knew he was dying and turned his death into an artistic statement. Simply amazing. But, I'll never be able to watch the Lazarus video again. Too raw and graphic. Prince's passing cut more deeply though...like a family member or a lifetime friend. This makes me wrestle with my own mortality in a way that no other artist ever will... But, life goes on...and we will, too. One day I'll be able to listen to his music again and it will bring me joy once more. That is what I am waiting for.

Just saw this elsewhere and thought it was relevant:

How do you say goodbye to someone you didn't know

yet you know so much about?

To someone who knew nothing about you,

yet taught you so much about yourself.

To someone who was never in your life,

yet was with you every step of the way.

Saying goodbye to this man

is like saying goodbye to myself,

and it hurts just as much.

bigtimefan said:

Just saw this elsewhere and thought it was relevant:

How do you say goodbye to someone you didn't know

yet you know so much about?

To someone who knew nothing about you,

yet taught you so much about yourself.

To someone who was never in your life,

yet was with you every step of the way.

Saying goodbye to this man

is like saying goodbye to myself,

and it hurts just as much.

Exactly.

bigtimefan said:

Just saw this elsewhere and thought it was relevant:

How do you say goodbye to someone you didn't know

yet you know so much about?

To someone who knew nothing about you,

yet taught you so much about yourself.

To someone who was never in your life,

yet was with you every step of the way.

Saying goodbye to this man

is like saying goodbye to myself,

and it hurts just as much.

This is lovely...

very tough ...

[Edited 5/24/16 16:23pm]

bigtimefan said:

isobelfq said:

You are not alone. When I was too depressed to fill out my timecard and just opted for my hours to go on the next timecard, my manager sent me the phone number to our Employee Support hotline, so I can get grief counseling.

Thank you for being brave and sharing.

I am going to make the phone call tomorrow since I am just not getting any better. We are in this togther.

isobelfq said:

Bohemian67 said:

.

I'm glad to hear you have reached out for help. Prince said in this life 'we're on on our own' and generally we are, when it comes to finding out what really makes us happy. But when it comes to grief and pain, finding guidance is the best thing you can do. You do not have to be alone there. And shouldn't be.

.

Death brings back other deaths in your life and sometimes the shock of death can actually stop our grieving process, whereby we don't actually go through it all because it's too painful. Maybe this is why your Dad's death didn't hurt as much, but why you're taking Prince (a second kind of father figure, because he lead and we followed) so hard. But as painful as it is, pain is something you have to go through, like a dark tunnel (77 Beverly Park), but you will come out stronger. The hard part is having to feel everything you feel and not denying it because it's too painful.In other words that dark journey through the tunnel is necessary. But after you have felt your greatest sorrows, you will also be able one day again, to feel your greatest deepest joys.

.

Good luck and I know the org will help you. It's a typical family here. We fight squabble and hug. Take care....

Prince was NOT a father figure to me. The things that we did in my head are illegal in all 50 states between relatives.

bigtimefan said:

Just saw this elsewhere and thought it was relevant:

How do you say goodbye to someone you didn't know

yet you know so much about?

To someone who knew nothing about you,

yet taught you so much about yourself.

To someone who was never in your life,

yet was with you every step of the way.

Saying goodbye to this man

is like saying goodbye to myself,

and it hurts just as much.

I love this.

isobelfq said:

Bohemian67 said:

.

I'm glad to hear you have reached out for help. Prince said in this life 'we're on on our own' and generally we are, when it comes to finding out what really makes us happy. But when it comes to grief and pain, finding guidance is the best thing you can do. You do not have to be alone there. And shouldn't be.

.

Death brings back other deaths in your life and sometimes the shock of death can actually stop our grieving process, whereby we don't actually go through it all because it's too painful. Maybe this is why your Dad's death didn't hurt as much, but why you're taking Prince (a second kind of father figure, because he lead and we followed) so hard. But as painful as it is, pain is something you have to go through, like a dark tunnel (77 Beverly Park), but you will come out stronger. The hard part is having to feel everything you feel and not denying it because it's too painful.In other words that dark journey through the tunnel is necessary. But after you have felt your greatest sorrows, you will also be able one day again, to feel your greatest deepest joys.

.

Good luck and I know the org will help you. It's a typical family here. We fight squabble and hug. Take care....

Prince was NOT a father figure to me. The things that we did in my head are illegal in all 50 states between relatives.

.

So you see..... Smiling and have joyful wicked thoughts is possible!!

ilo said:

I still get choked up when Freddie looks at the camera and sings "I still love you."

Yeah me too - Freddie was wonderful too

gollygirl said:

Isobel - you're not alone!

I'm STILL sobbing, STILL losing time. The ONLY three things that help are:

1) allowing myself to process, and to think about him as much as I need to.

2) Listening to as much of his music as I can - especially music I didn't previously understand - rediscovering him.

3) KNOWING he is an angel in heaven now, and feeling SURE that he is a VERY BUSY angel. I have no doubt about that.

Keep loving yourself. Be kind and take time. Cry for as long as the spirit moves. Prince was someone out of the ordinary - he shared something eternal with his fans - HIS DEEP FUNK AND HIS DEEP LOVE.

ilo said:

I still get choked up when Freddie looks at the camera and sings "I still love you."

Did i miss something? I don't know what this is in reference to.

isobelfq said:

ilo said:

I still get choked up when Freddie looks at the camera and sings "I still love you."

Did i miss something? I don't know what this is in reference to.

All I can think of is Freddy Mercury...

purplethunder3121 said:

isobelfq said:

Did i miss something? I don't know what this is in reference to.

All I can think of is Freddy Mercury...

OMG I forgot how awesome Freddie was.

I love the Made in Heaven CD and need to relocate it.

Another true talent gone too soon.

I wish you all the best.

isobelfq said:

I don't know if this is the right forum to post this so if it gets moved or deleted I do apoligize but I have to say this to someone. I'm getting grief counseling. I can't do this any more. Prince has always inspired me to greatness and creativity; whether it be to work on one of my scripts or the desire to learn a new instrument. Now all of that is gone. I feel stagnant, stuck. I wake up in the morning feeling ok, but by the end of the day I'm barely making it. I see all these tributes and see how his passing has inspired so many people and I'm just not there. I've said this before but I'll say it again. I didn't feel this bad when my father died. I doubt I'll feel this bad when my mother dies. I just...It's been over a month and I don't know what to do any more.

Many do not understand how an artist who has touched our emotions throughout our life's can really cause deep grief for us.

Glad that you are working on finding tools to help you get through this.

I am very saddend as well.

Thank you for your openness. In actually, I was just saying to my friend a few days ago that I was considering counseling myself. But since I've been able to share my thoughts with others who loved and valued Prince, I've been feeling much better. I pray you reach that point as well.