darkroman said:

The moment I got the call from my mom, I went straight to acceptance. I dunno, but I've been preparing for 4/21 for the last three years. I nenver thought he would leave this world so soon, but there was also a large part of me that was bracing for a world without Prince. I can actually pinpoint it to a few years ago when I heard a snippet of the unreleased song "Go". When I heard the first verse of that song, I started to think of Prince as being mortal (even though the song has nothing to do with death) thinking to myself (like the words from Go):

"you don't have to explain. If you wanna go, I don't wanna know about it"

All...I can't fucking sleep. I listen to his albums and then forget he's passed, then I get an electric jolt and remember but it's like the first time I hear of it. Then I get pissed...end up just throwing things in my room.

But sometimes I swear he comes to me because I feel a sudden peace and joy like you feel after a Prince concert. I swear it... but I get depressed again.

I never was spiritual and I am not religious at all, but I am more open to spirituality because I swear on everyone I love's life that Prince came here. I didn't see him or anything, but I felt a very "Paisley Park" like joyful presence.

Idk, I might just be crazy though...

All these videos on YT damnit this is what i dreamed of seeing everyday n was so pod that we couldnt .. now I cant even watch them .. *(^$&%. God he was so damn watchable when he did new girl .. I loved seeing him in a movie .. .. fuck im pissed like nobodys buisness so YA .. ANGER n GRIEF

I cried the day I learned about it, then got over it.

But yesterday, I got drunk with a friend and started telling her how bad I felt for going to a concert in 2011 now that I know he was probably in pain and should have been retired or sitting in a chair for the duration. I kept saying, had I known, I'd have never gone and that I killed him bla bla bla.

It's crazy how some people give them selves up to their careers like that, especially artists.

I'm still in denial a bit, but I'm feeling all the stages at the same time. Mostly anger though. I'm angry with A LOT of people.

It's creepy thinking about all the coincidences surrounding his death. I also keep thinking of all the premonitions I felt. I knew he was going to die months before he did but obviously I thought I was just thinking bullshit so I never took these thoughts seriously. Things happen for a reason. It's why I started to listen to him again a few months ago. My consciousness knew what was gonna happen.

thx185 said:

There should have been 20 more years..

I'm still in denial.

Also, sometimes bargaining, considering that his joints and hips have signaled that they could not handle it, it makes sense that at one point his body shuts down.

I feel thankful for the concerts I have seen. Very happy about that.


But the reality of never going to a concert of him, has not landed fully yet.

I was stunned when I heard about it, and I think I still am. I live in the middle of nowhere and there are days when I wonder who else around here might understand. This site, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, and Amazon have helped ease the pain a bit. When I read the "how many times have you seen Prince?" thread, the only logical answer is "not enough." I have listened to him throughout the past 10 days and watched two of his films. I find myself sifting through the news outlets to put together clues about the possible cause of death even though nothing's definitive yet and the investigation is still underway into what happened. "If long life is what we all live for, then long life will come to pass..." yet what happened? Can someone who understands please help me understand this all? Do you find yourself playing private eye and putting together a timeline and wanting to build a time machine to change what happened? I feel like, at minimum, until the police and medical investigations are completed, I won't have closure for weeks. Even if they open up Paisley Park to the public, he won't be there. Any advice would be appreciated. Sincerely, bilbolives

It's been 10 days now, I am slowly starting to accept his unfortunate passing. The pain never goes away but you get used to it.

~

I am feeling glad to have grown up with his music (a period of 32 years for me) and I'm thankful to him. Also, I'm grateful that his work is still with me and I'll be listening to it as long as I live or can hear.

Denial. My brain just keeps shouting out Noooo in waves as the realisation hits again. I feel like the rest of the world have moved on and that it is soon going to appear ridiculous that I am still upset. The crying has diminished a bit thought which is good.

[Edited 5/1/16 4:45am]

I have added a new stage to grief, CRAZY. I have been on ebay and all kinds of sites looking for anything thing of Princes that I don't have that I can buy. I even bought a new Purple Rain cd, just like the one I haven't listend to in years!!!!! CRAZY. the amount of time I have spent on ebay-setting my phone to remind me to check on items I want to bid on. I almost bought a RIP Prince t-shirt, lucky for me the vendor was out of my size. I hate those things, it brings more emphasis to death and not life. So that being said, I need to go an balance my checkbook and see what I will be eating for the next few months.

I'm so very sad. I miss him terribly and at times I can't deal with too much of his music or seeing old interviews or watching old performances. But sometimes a memory from one of his live performances will resurface in my mind and it will make me happy and I'll smile and love him with all of my heart. So I'm not sure of the stage. I know i'm past denial but I'm still grappling with the other 3 before acceptance. I know i've said this before but I feel like i've been grieving for a million days. I don't think I'll ever feel "normal" again.

SteelPulse1 said:

thx185 said:

There should have been 20 more years..

YES THIS DAMNIT ..

Nah...I wanteed to see him at least until I was well into my 60's so...30 more years?

isobelfq said:

In denial and bargaining,if i go to sleep i think about him and even when i wake up.

Depression but also anger. I want to know why he was taken from us so soon. He should still be here

Everyday is better, but the anger stays since I don't know what to be angry about, I'm just angry about anything and everything. I think I now understand what bargaining is and was surprised how easy one slips into it. I can see acceptance on the horizon. Not looking forward to the day when I'm casually going about my business and thinking about this isn't a daily event, to suddenly wonder what's up with Prince as I've been doing for years only to instantly remember those days are gone.

Been through all those stages and could not move on from the deep depression / exhaustion stage for a while. I wasn't able to eat anything for many days. Then I felt angry and hurt, like a chunk of my life had been suddenly and violently removed. This lasted many days, and not being back on here yet, I didn't really know where to turn, or who to speak to. Many people around me even laughed at my reaction, as some sort of awkward way of cheering me up. Some understood a little bit more when I told them how I had actually met him. Some believed me, many probably didn't. My husband knew, but felt jealous that Prince had had such an impact in my life, so he didn't want to hear anything about him.

Overall I felt very alone and it was a suffocating feeling. But now, a few more days have passed, and being on here and reading all those posts, linking all of us to this amazing and unique being, is somewhat leading me gently towards the acceptance stage, with a new sense of mission: to continue embracing his vision, to enjoy, share and spread his music. I am even feeling very inspired to start creating something (songwriting, music, painting) in connection with Prince and what he meant to me.

I relapsed. I'm back in denial. The pain got to be too much.