I was hoping it would get easier. I feel like it's getting harder. I was just staring blankly at the BET Video Tribute yesterday. Video after Video after Video. Repeat videos over and over. Every now and then they'd throw in one I hadn't seen in ages. But I'm just sitting there blankly staring. Not sure what to do with myself. But I can't remove myself. "Betcha By Golly Wow" comes on. Seeing him go to Mayte in the hospital and they hug just made the tears start flowing. Knowing how happy he was back then with the baby. The reality of the baby's death. Watching these videos and reliving his years. Knowing that this beautiful man will never do anything again. I just cry. I think of him in that elevator. And I choke up. I think of the last ATL concert I listened to. And my eyes start watering. My mind is just fixated on this pain. I don't know how to stop it. I feel I need to hear him, but it hurts. I'm driving to work this morning. "Count the days" playing.....tears just start flowing. Everything is still hurting so deeply and I'm truly still empty inside. I feel crazy because yes, I know, I DO NOT KNOW HIM PERSONALLY. I know some people would think I'm INSANE. But I've lost someone who has been such a permanent fixture in my life since 1983. His music has stayed with me since way back then. The old songs got better and the new songs just kept piling up. His voice was so unique. It was actually comforting. He was beautiful. His lyrics were soul touching. Watching "Insatiable" video yesterday....standing up right in front of the TV. Watching him. Tears falling. I am still crying. I have normal life things to do. My mind doesn't know how to move past this pain. Why is it getting harder and not getting easier?

Superfan1984 said:

Not a big crier but I misted up much this few days. I was depressed about it more. Feel better today. Listening to Last Heart and Ballad of Dorothy sure helps.

Sheila feels guilty I fear.

swissbeats2k said:

Superfan1984 said:

I broke down hard last night. Has anyone else just stopped and said, "Damn. Prince is dead." Every night before I go to sleep, it's all I can think and I just can't believe it. I wake up and I think, "Damn. Prince died." It's surreal.

Yep that's exactly the way I feel.

Snap

Superfan1984 said:

I broke down hard last night. Has anyone else just stopped and said, "Damn. Prince is dead." Every night before I go to sleep, it's all I can think and I just can't believe it. I wake up and I think, "Damn. Prince died." It's surreal.

Yep, I wake up with Prince songs playing in my head especially SISIA. Then I think "Prince is gone."

When I saw the confirmation's of Prince's death, I got angry. I started cursing and wanted to punch my computer or something. I really did feel like that moment in Purple Rain when Prince loses it in his basement and starts smashing everything. I had just visited my sister's grave the day before and she was a massive Prince fan even bigger than me. She passed away a few months after we saw the Musicology concert. I kind of fell out of being a devoted Prince fan in the late 90s and early 2000s while she continued by every album he released. After her death, I really got back into him to not only rediscover his brillance, but also to keep her memory alive. When all that anger flooded, I thought of my sister and burst into tears. Now I just feel empty. Like there is this massive hole that will never be filled. I just wish 2016 would over already.

[Edited 4/25/16 12:03pm]

Haven't ever been a regular poster here, but I also notice that the songs now have a sadder undertone. I hear it in "Diamonds and Pearls". There's a sudden sadness beneath Prince and Rosie Gaines' voices, and it's so powerful and innocent, but yet so poignant and heartwrenching.

I feel your pain. To me it still feels like April 21 will never end.

I don't even know what I did to make you go away
I could possibly stage a front and play the cool one
(Cool one)
Heart in my hand tryin' to hold back every cry

But who would applaud me
When it's you, my one and only
Who ever gave me a good reason not to die
Excuse me but is this really
(Goodbye)

I woke up this morning with the chorus to Pink Cashmere popping up in my head right away. felt strangely uplifted by that

to everyone on here, I hope things become more bearable for you soon. at least we can share our pain on here, and hopefully also with friends and relatives

I'm usually pretty unflappable about stuff like this, but I've definitely had my moments in the last week. If I didn't have a play opening on Friday (which is a huge - and welcome - distraction to have at the moment), I'd be in a lot worse shape, I'm sure.

The thing that amazes me is how many of my "real life" friends - who I never thought were big Prince fans - have been going through a tough time, too. If misery loves company, I sure have a lot of both right now.

[Edited 4/25/16 13:17pm]

purplediamonds said:

I was hoping it would get easier. I feel like it's getting harder. I was just staring blankly at the BET Video Tribute yesterday. Video after Video after Video. Repeat videos over and over. Every now and then they'd throw in one I hadn't seen in ages. But I'm just sitting there blankly staring. Not sure what to do with myself. But I can't remove myself. "Betcha By Golly Wow" comes on. Seeing him go to Mayte in the hospital and they hug just made the tears start flowing. Knowing how happy he was back then with the baby. The reality of the baby's death. Watching these videos and reliving his years. Knowing that this beautiful man will never do anything again. I just cry. I think of him in that elevator. And I choke up. I think of the last ATL concert I listened to. And my eyes start watering. My mind is just fixated on this pain. I don't know how to stop it. I feel I need to hear him, but it hurts. I'm driving to work this morning. "Count the days" playing.....tears just start flowing. Everything is still hurting so deeply and I'm truly still empty inside. I feel crazy because yes, I know, I DO NOT KNOW HIM PERSONALLY. I know some people would think I'm INSANE. But I've lost someone who has been such a permanent fixture in my life since 1983. His music has stayed with me since way back then. The old songs got better and the new songs just kept piling up. His voice was so unique. It was actually comforting. He was beautiful. His lyrics were soul touching. Watching "Insatiable" video yesterday....standing up right in front of the TV. Watching him. Tears falling. I am still crying. I have normal life things to do. My mind doesn't know how to move past this pain. Why is it getting harder and not getting easier?

Im there with you. I had a few moments of normal and have slid backwards...the pain is real. We just have to keep clocking the hours I guess. ::hugs::

I am crying everyday. The first night I hardly slept and every other night I feel unsettled. I cry a little each day and find myself angry. I don't want anyone talking to me about him. The stupid things that are being said bothers me.

Superfan1984 said:

I broke down hard last night. Has anyone else just stopped and said, "Damn. Prince is dead." Every night before I go to sleep, it's all I can think and I just can't believe it. I wake up and I think, "Damn. Prince died." It's surreal.

We had a public holiday over here on Monday, so today is my first day back at work....

Walked in to the office this morning and the first thought was...how mundane is this existence, my work, my life, now that he is gone. I have been totally unable to focus on anything and am totally lost.

Please return to us!!!

You're not alone, I feel the same, what's the use now, since my hero checked out nothing makes sense anymore, I've never been so sad in my entire life and the way and circumstances it happened under make it even worse (so completely unexpected and all alone in some freakin elevator maybe struggling for hours) ... it's unbearable

Man I agree with all of you I've had all those moments, the songs, the crying, the noticing the sadness in the songs, the prophetic songs, I've even had weird things I've noticed in the sky, on my phone, on my computer, the debilatating sadness, the hopelessness, the way the world feels different, the way it feels like a light is gone, magic is gone.

All of it is surreal the fact that he's gone and how we feel. I knew what he meant to us but that we would feel THIS WAY? This is crazy unexpected and fricken unreal the pain. And the sadness the minor fans and non-fans feel? Like What the F?????

Anyway, yesterday I was so despondent although trying to get through the day. I had to check in with 2 of my Purple Sisters to see how they were. One has to move on she's scared to wallow in it for fear she can't get out. The other wanted to say she was ok, but when I told her I most certainly did not feel ok, she admitted she felt the same but was trying.

Anyway, I FINALLY feel better today. But better is:

1) I'm not crying and feeling completely utterly hopeless, Whew. Just slightly.

2) I'm noticing less headlines and it freaks me out not wanting the world to move on (which I know it has).

3) The waiting for the autopsy so they can tell us P has been doing drugs for years maybe? Well that's something super-sucky to look forward to.

4) The feeling of wondering how long I am going to feel this and the fear of not caring anymore at all? Is that even a possiblity? Will his songs only bring me joy? Or will I be somewhere in public and break down like a fool & even tho we know the world understands more now than they ever did, am I going to embarrass myself immensely one day in 5 years in public by losing my s***?

5) The irritation of all that is being said about him that is not correct or feels wrong. Ugh. I have to let that go.
So at least maybe the crying is over for a while cause that was too much. I wish that for you and all of us. I Wish U Heaven. Man, now that was embarrasing using that song. smh

The last day or so emotions have been welling up...finding myself going to bed later, mind is restless. Seeing all the new videos popping up on YouTube is also crazy.

Everytime I listen to a Prince song I am joyful and then after it ends feel another drop of sadness filling my heart.

I keep asking myself is he really dead? gosh....then complete emptiness.

The latest tributes from Springsten and Gilmour just adds to what an impact he had across the musical spectrum.

Prince shaped and influenced many bands/musicians old and new, some are only just beginning to realise this.

This is the first time I have felt like this and for me it has come unexpected.

Its 1am here and should get to bed, I just ordered £50 worth of Prince albums to add to my collection...

I lost it when I saw the Van Jones interview. I lost it when I saw the Stevie Wonder interview. I lost it when I saw Judith Hill losing it, after opening a Purple Box. I lost it when I saw other artists cover Purple Rain. Trying to work out more recently. It has helped. And I try not to watch tv or the news. I think we all feel a huge loss. I don't know many other Prince fans so it makes it even harder. He was sort of a father figure to me, since I never really knew my father. He is my hero.

I didn't cry the first day, in shock I guess. I still can't listen to his music right now, and I cried when I saw the videos of those attending the memorial services. Everytime I come here and start reading posts from you all, tears just start rolling down my face, can't help it. Prince is constantly on my mind, and there are still times that I can't believe he's really gone. Something is now missing from a part of my world.

For me it gets worse as the days go by. It actually feels like the death of a very very close relative. And I thought about this moment in the past, but I never thought it would actually

tear me down as much, it feels horrible, It feels as if my world is now incomplete, missing something, empty...

Everything just feels so, so wrong. Seeing a lot of his videos and songs suddenly pop up on youtube feels wrong

Seeing everyone talking about the will, the tribute, the patrimony, the future of Paisley Park, the memories feels wrong

I completely lose it randomly, when I found out he was cremated I crashed down and cried so much

I haven't been able to sleep, today I missed school and work

I really wish this was a nightmare!