I don't know if this is the right forum to post this so if it gets moved or deleted I do apoligize but I have to say this to someone. I'm getting grief counseling. I can't do this any more. Prince has always inspired me to greatness and creativity; whether it be to work on one of my scripts or the desire to learn a new instrument. Now all of that is gone. I feel stagnant, stuck. I wake up in the morning feeling ok, but by the end of the day I'm barely making it. I see all these tributes and see how his passing has inspired so many people and I'm just not there. I've said this before but I'll say it again. I didn't feel this bad when my father died. I doubt I'll feel this bad when my mother dies. I just...It's been over a month and I don't know what to do any more.

isobelfq said:

I don't know if this is the right forum to post this so if it gets moved or deleted I do apoligize but I have to say this to someone. I'm getting grief counseling. I can't do this any more. Prince has always inspired me to greatness and creativity; whether it be to work on one of my scripts or the desire to learn a new instrument. Now all of that is gone. I feel stagnant, stuck. I wake up in the morning feeling ok, but by the end of the day I'm barely making it. I see all these tributes and see how his passing has inspired so many people and I'm just not there. I've said this before but I'll say it again. I didn't feel this bad when my father died. I doubt I'll feel this bad when my mother dies. I just...It's been over a month and I don't know what to do any more.

I would say get involved in getting the Prince Music to the Mainstream....Elvis Presley still rolling along being shown to new and gets new fans constantly....it would be good to focus the negativity into positivity but with Prince Music I have been trying and not much interest...just leads to frustration....still always a way ...and as Prince said it often himself..." Do not idolize me idolize Jesus" pay attention to your Bible and get in a good Bible based Church...can be any type of denomination you prefer.....many, many good folks go to Church....Prince was a human being, talented, not perfect....once you put Jesus in your heart and soul= nothing beats that.

isobelfq said:

I don't know if this is the right forum to post this so if it gets moved or deleted I do apoligize but I have to say this to someone. I'm getting grief counseling. I can't do this any more. Prince has always inspired me to greatness and creativity; whether it be to work on one of my scripts or the desire to learn a new instrument. Now all of that is gone. I feel stagnant, stuck. I wake up in the morning feeling ok, but by the end of the day I'm barely making it. I see all these tributes and see how his passing has inspired so many people and I'm just not there. I've said this before but I'll say it again. I didn't feel this bad when my father died. I doubt I'll feel this bad when my mother dies. I just...It's been over a month and I don't know what to do any more.

No words of wisdom to share, but I just wanted to reach out and say you're definitely not alone. Playing music has always been an integral part of my life, even though I'm more a 'serious hobbyist' rather than a professional. But anyway, I've barely touched my sax since 4/21. Haven't sought any news gigs. Turned down a few invites for jam sessions. Stopped working on my nearly-completed album. I tried playing during the last two days and was even more depressed to note my weakened embouchure and compromised dexterity due to lack of practice. Definitely feel you, that's all I'm tryign to say. Coming here to talk about it, something I hadn't done prior to 4/21, definitely has helped. Keep working on it. I hope the counseling is helping you.

isobelfq said:

I don't know if this is the right forum to post this so if it gets moved or deleted I do apoligize but I have to say this to someone. I'm getting grief counseling. I can't do this any more. Prince has always inspired me to greatness and creativity; whether it be to work on one of my scripts or the desire to learn a new instrument. Now all of that is gone. I feel stagnant, stuck. I wake up in the morning feeling ok, but by the end of the day I'm barely making it. I see all these tributes and see how his passing has inspired so many people and I'm just not there. I've said this before but I'll say it again. I didn't feel this bad when my father died. I doubt I'll feel this bad when my mother dies. I just...It's been over a month and I don't know what to do any more.

and Hugs 2 U isobelfq

[Edited 5/24/16 9:37am]

This sounds like a step in the right direction. Maybe your experiences with grief counseling will inspire others to seek help as well. If you feel up to it, consider sharing experiences or advice that you find helpful and constructive. Best of luck with everything!

I think a good grief counselor will probably tell you this is about something else at its core. But I know how that doesn't make a lick of difference when you're feeling something so deeply. But definitely worth doing either way, good luck and feel better.

[Edited 5/24/16 11:57am]

Thank you for starting this thread and coming forward.

I understand the feeling of despair and where you are at.

I had started a thread recently (that got deleted) about the effect his death has had on many, and said I was/am worried people would take their lives.

It is a REAL concern when something like his death happens, which can trigger feelings/memories of our other deaths/losses, and when combined with lack of sleep, work and life stress, lack of emotional support, etc. can be fatal.

I pray your therapist will guide you and help you find peace. Life is worth living and I hope you get there soon.

Please know that I understand and keep us posted.

breakdown2k14 said:

I am also going through grief counseling .Its not doing much good especially since all my counselor wants to talk about is himself . I hope gets better for u .You are not alone.

Oh honey, get someone else. As the joke goes, what do you call someone how graduated at the very bottom of their medical school class? Doctor.

Just because someone graduated doesn't mean they know what they're doing.

I sought help a few months ago after my Dad died.

While it didn't take the pain away (nothing does that,) sometimes just crying to someone can help.

Things the therapist told me to do:

Work less. Take more time off. (That was the big one for me. It was okay to work 30 hours a week for a while without feeling guilty, and I needed it.)

Watch movies.

Play. Have fun.

Write. Draw. Dance. Knit your cat a sweater. Walk. Exercise. Do whatever makes you smile.

And remember, we'll all still be here.

isobelfq said:

I don't know if this is the right forum to post this so if it gets moved or deleted I do apoligize but I have to say this to someone. I'm getting grief counseling. I can't do this any more. Prince has always inspired me to greatness and creativity; whether it be to work on one of my scripts or the desire to learn a new instrument. Now all of that is gone. I feel stagnant, stuck. I wake up in the morning feeling ok, but by the end of the day I'm barely making it. I see all these tributes and see how his passing has inspired so many people and I'm just not there. I've said this before but I'll say it again. I didn't feel this bad when my father died. I doubt I'll feel this bad when my mother dies. I just...It's been over a month and I don't know what to do any more.

i would like to thank you for sharing your emotions and for writing down what is going on with you.

you`re not alone, we`re all in this together. a friend, who`s also still devestated, shared something with me. in order to help me. now i want to share it with you.

"the meaning of death is the release of love"

all the best to you

tony

This is a brave post, isobelfq, sending love to you and everyone who is suffering right now. I wish you all the best, hopefully in a few months' time we wil all be feeling stronger and the worst of all this will have passed. xx

bigtimefan said:

Thank you for starting this thread and coming forward.

I understand the feeling of despair and where you are at.

I had started a thread recently (that got deleted) about the effect his death has had on many, and said I was/am worried people would take their lives.

It is a REAL concern when something like his death happens, which can trigger feelings/memories of our other deaths/losses, and when combined with lack of sleep, work and life stress, lack of emotional support, etc. can be fatal.

I pray your therapist will guide you and help you find peace. Life is worth living and I hope you get there soon.

Please know that I understand and keep us posted.

I soooo hope that it will become a little easier once the autopsy results are in.

IMO it's harder to deal with this than our loved ones that have passed because Prince and his image is everywhere now. So when you are trying to heal and focus on something else it's almost impossible to not be confronted with it.

My sister is dealing with another's passing and found help with this site: www.facebook.com/MyBereavementCompanion

If anyone is having a hardtime coping PLEASE reach out to your loved ones or call:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

When you lose a part of your inspiration, part of the fire of your imagination, it's powerful because it's really part of you that has come unhinged and lost. That's why it can be a deeper wound than than the loss of someone you actually know and interacted with in life.

I scanned through your profile And like the tracks you chose as your favorite. Especially listing Illusion, Coma, Pimp and Circumstance, and, If Eye was the Man in Ur Life.

What kind of scripts had you been writing?

isobelfq said:

I don't know if this is the right forum to post this so if it gets moved or deleted I do apoligize but I have to say this to someone. I'm getting grief counseling. I can't do this any more. Prince has always inspired me to greatness and creativity; whether it be to work on one of my scripts or the desire to learn a new instrument. Now all of that is gone. I feel stagnant, stuck. I wake up in the morning feeling ok, but by the end of the day I'm barely making it. I see all these tributes and see how his passing has inspired so many people and I'm just not there. I've said this before but I'll say it again. I didn't feel this bad when my father died. I doubt I'll feel this bad when my mother dies. I just...It's been over a month and I don't know what to do any more.

You are not alone, I'm feeling lost. I hope the counselling works for you and I want to send you love

I think the reason that a lot of us are struggling with it is not so much that it's the death of Prince, but it's what that death represents to us with respect to our lives. If the person who writes the soundtrack of your life dies, it's very unnerving.

Redayh said:

I think the reason that a lot of us are struggling with it is not so much that it's the death of Prince, but it's what that death represents to us with respect to our lives. If the person who writes the soundtrack of your life dies, it's very unnerving.

I agree! You phrased it perfectly. I think it ties into fears of our youth, getting older, mortality and all of that as well.

Isobelfq, good for you in taking a positive step in the right direction. Therapy can be very benefical and I hope it helps you deal with all the emotions you are having as I know grieving can be extremely overwhleming. I think being a Prince fan all added to our identities in a way and his death has left us feeling like a piece of us has died as well, he was such an inspiration to many, and through the personal nature of his lyrics, he was someone many of us could identify with. This is hard to deal with but I hope you find inner peace on the journey.

isobelfq said:

I don't know if this is the right forum to post this so if it gets moved or deleted I do apoligize but I have to say this to someone. I'm getting grief counseling. I can't do this any more. Prince has always inspired me to greatness and creativity; whether it be to work on one of my scripts or the desire to learn a new instrument. Now all of that is gone. I feel stagnant, stuck. I wake up in the morning feeling ok, but by the end of the day I'm barely making it. I see all these tributes and see how his passing has inspired so many people and I'm just not there. I've said this before but I'll say it again. I didn't feel this bad when my father died. I doubt I'll feel this bad when my mother dies. I just...It's been over a month and I don't know what to do any more.

I am so glad to hear that you sought help and please continue to hang in there. I have come to realize that I won't get over this for a long time so I am taking it one day at a time, but I feel I'm making progress nevertheless.

My healing thoughts are with you and our entire org family.

isobelfq said:

I don't know if this is the right forum to post this so if it gets moved or deleted I do apoligize but I have to say this to someone. I'm getting grief counseling. I can't do this any more. Prince has always inspired me to greatness and creativity; whether it be to work on one of my scripts or the desire to learn a new instrument. Now all of that is gone. I feel stagnant, stuck. I wake up in the morning feeling ok, but by the end of the day I'm barely making it. I see all these tributes and see how his passing has inspired so many people and I'm just not there. I've said this before but I'll say it again. I didn't feel this bad when my father died. I doubt I'll feel this bad when my mother dies. I just...It's been over a month and I don't know what to do any more.

.

I'm glad to hear you have reached out for help. Prince said in this life 'we're on on our own' and generally we are, when it comes to finding out what really makes us happy. But when it comes to grief and pain, finding guidance is the best thing you can do. You do not have to be alone there. And shouldn't be.

.

Death brings back other deaths in your life and sometimes the shock of death can actually stop our grieving process, whereby we don't actually go through it all because it's too painful. Maybe this is why your Dad's death didn't hurt as much, but why you're taking Prince (a second kind of father figure, because he lead and we followed) so hard. But as painful as it is, pain is something you have to go through, like a dark tunnel (77 Beverly Park), but you will come out stronger. The hard part is having to feel everything you feel and not denying it because it's too painful.In other words that dark journey through the tunnel is necessary. But after you have felt your greatest sorrows, you will also be able one day again, to feel your greatest deepest joys.

.

Good luck and I know the org will help you. It's a typical family here. We fight squabble and hug. Take care....

avajane said:

I admire your decision in seeking help. All I can offer for advice is give it time. Time may not heal the wound completely but time will make it hurt less. [Edited 5/24/16 12:37pm]

I think you're right avajane. It seems like everyone expects us to be over it by now. But his death was so sudden and shocking. There are times when i think i'm okay, then I just get so sad again. We're all looking for comfort now.

Krystalkisses said:

Redayh said:

I think the reason that a lot of us are struggling with it is not so much that it's the death of Prince, but it's what that death represents to us with respect to our lives. If the person who writes the soundtrack of your life dies, it's very unnerving.

I agree! You phrased it perfectly. I think it ties into fears of our youth, getting older, mortality and all of that as well.

Isobelfq, good for you in taking a positive step in the right direction. Therapy can be very benefical and I hope it helps you deal with all the emotions you are having as I know grieving can be extremely overwhleming. I think being a Prince fan all added to our identities in a way and his death has left us feeling like a piece of us has died as well, he was such an inspiration to many, and through the personal nature of his lyrics, he was someone many of us could identify with. This is hard to deal with but I hope you find inner peace on the journey.

It wasn't so much an issue of getting older or mortality for me because I was already dealing with those issues before Prince passed. He's only a couple of years older than me and being over fifty often means that the aches and pains come more frequently. Acid reflux, back pain, knee pain, sleep apnea, etc. It seems that every day brings a new ailment, wrinkle or bulge....

For me, I miss Prince's actual presence. Knowing that he was "Somewhere Here On Earth" made sense. Now it feels like a big mistake was made and the world is somehow broken without him in it. The universe just doesn't make sense anymore....it's weird.

I do agree that it feels like a piece of me died. It's as if there's a big hole in my heart or something. The only way I can think of to honor his memory and fill that hole is to follow the example he left and remember what I learned from him about perseverance, creativity, taking risks and fighting back.

Thinking about what I learned from him is helpful.

isobelfq said:

I don't know if this is the right forum to post this so if it gets moved or deleted I do apoligize but I have to say this to someone. I'm getting grief counseling. I can't do this any more. Prince has always inspired me to greatness and creativity; whether it be to work on one of my scripts or the desire to learn a new instrument. Now all of that is gone. I feel stagnant, stuck. I wake up in the morning feeling ok, but by the end of the day I'm barely making it. I see all these tributes and see how his passing has inspired so many people and I'm just not there. I've said this before but I'll say it again. I didn't feel this bad when my father died. I doubt I'll feel this bad when my mother dies. I just...It's been over a month and I don't know what to do any more.

I haven't practiced music for a month, haven't sang, haven't worked out either, just took it all out of me really. I always knew i wasn't working nearly as hard as our little guy to my east but i tried and used that as my motivation. Now what? Well, i'll be back even stronger than ever. What choice do I have?

babynoz said:

Krystalkisses said:

I agree! You phrased it perfectly. I think it ties into fears of our youth, getting older, mortality and all of that as well.

Isobelfq, good for you in taking a positive step in the right direction. Therapy can be very benefical and I hope it helps you deal with all the emotions you are having as I know grieving can be extremely overwhleming. I think being a Prince fan all added to our identities in a way and his death has left us feeling like a piece of us has died as well, he was such an inspiration to many, and through the personal nature of his lyrics, he was someone many of us could identify with. This is hard to deal with but I hope you find inner peace on the journey.

It wasn't so much an issue of getting older or mortality for me because I was already dealing with those issues before Prince passed. He's only a couple of years older than me and being over fifty often means that the aches and pains come more frequently. Acid reflux, back pain, knee pain, sleep apnea, etc. It seems that every day brings a new ailment, wrinkle or bulge....

For me, I miss Prince's actual presence. Knowing that he was "Somewhere Here On Earth" made sense. Now it feels like a big mistake was made and the world is somehow broken without him in it. The universe just doesn't make sense anymore....it's weird.

I do agree that it feels like a piece of me died. It's as if there's a big hole in my heart or something.

This is what it is for me. Whenever anyone said something like "you're not really griving for him; you're grieving for yourself" or something like that I always thought "No, I'm grieving for HIM. For as long as I can remember, I've felt like life was tedius, difficult and a bit boring. For that reason I don't really look at death with the same fear most other people seem to have. So just knowing that he was in the world always brought me such comfort and joy. And the universe doesn't make sense.

I don't know. If I was in a better frame of mind I would put this more elequently but...right now...I just can't.

Just so no one worries, I'm not suicidal. Even though I don't believe in God I do believe in reincarnation so...yeah.

Bohemian67 said:

isobelfq said:

I don't know if this is the right forum to post this so if it gets moved or deleted I do apoligize but I have to say this to someone. I'm getting grief counseling. I can't do this any more. Prince has always inspired me to greatness and creativity; whether it be to work on one of my scripts or the desire to learn a new instrument. Now all of that is gone. I feel stagnant, stuck. I wake up in the morning feeling ok, but by the end of the day I'm barely making it. I see all these tributes and see how his passing has inspired so many people and I'm just not there. I've said this before but I'll say it again. I didn't feel this bad when my father died. I doubt I'll feel this bad when my mother dies. I just...It's been over a month and I don't know what to do any more.

.

I'm glad to hear you have reached out for help. Prince said in this life 'we're on on our own' and generally we are, when it comes to finding out what really makes us happy. But when it comes to grief and pain, finding guidance is the best thing you can do. You do not have to be alone there. And shouldn't be.

.

Death brings back other deaths in your life and sometimes the shock of death can actually stop our grieving process, whereby we don't actually go through it all because it's too painful. Maybe this is why your Dad's death didn't hurt as much, but why you're taking Prince (a second kind of father figure, because he lead and we followed) so hard. But as painful as it is, pain is something you have to go through, like a dark tunnel (77 Beverly Park), but you will come out stronger. The hard part is having to feel everything you feel and not denying it because it's too painful.In other words that dark journey through the tunnel is necessary. But after you have felt your greatest sorrows, you will also be able one day again, to feel your greatest deepest joys.

.

Good luck and I know the org will help you. It's a typical family here. We fight squabble and hug. Take care....

Prince was NOT a father figure to me. The things that we did in my head are illegal in all 50 states between relatives.

isobelfq said:

Bohemian67 said:

.

I'm glad to hear you have reached out for help. Prince said in this life 'we're on on our own' and generally we are, when it comes to finding out what really makes us happy. But when it comes to grief and pain, finding guidance is the best thing you can do. You do not have to be alone there. And shouldn't be.

.

Death brings back other deaths in your life and sometimes the shock of death can actually stop our grieving process, whereby we don't actually go through it all because it's too painful. Maybe this is why your Dad's death didn't hurt as much, but why you're taking Prince (a second kind of father figure, because he lead and we followed) so hard. But as painful as it is, pain is something you have to go through, like a dark tunnel (77 Beverly Park), but you will come out stronger. The hard part is having to feel everything you feel and not denying it because it's too painful.In other words that dark journey through the tunnel is necessary. But after you have felt your greatest sorrows, you will also be able one day again, to feel your greatest deepest joys.

.

Good luck and I know the org will help you. It's a typical family here. We fight squabble and hug. Take care....

Prince was NOT a father figure to me. The things that we did in my head are illegal in all 50 states between relatives.

I was just about to say something similar to what Bohemian67 said. Even though Prince was not a father figure to you, Prince's death may have reawakened the pain and trauma you went through experiencing personal losses in your own life. Sometimes we can think we have dealt with the passing of someone in our lives and the sudden demise of someone or something meaningful to us can make us realize that we haven't finished dealing with the old loss, much less the new one. This happened to me; I had a friend that I've known for over half my life suddenly pass away last year in eerily similar circumstances to Prince. His passing, a big enough blow in and of itself, brought back all the pain of her loss and made me realize that I'm still grieving it. I think it is very wise of you to seek out grief counselling to help you work through your pain. Remember, you are not alone in feeling this way.

Thank you for your bravery and posting that here. Best of luck to you. Please keep us informed.