Wind that lurked precariously, deep down in the purple depths of his purple pixie pouch.

"Listen, just listen. Snap yo sphincter, there ya go" ... He nearly popped out, in more ways than he could relate. On the inevitable wind came the sound and verily, it did come. As the rain fell, into the fells and fallowed furnip fields of funder and Prince did listen. With his dancers ears on.

What time it was, wondered the mini-minnesotan. He thought a quarter to six so sweet but he knew. They knew it too and so did you, do boo be ffffffftttt.

It was time to fix the clock. With a bus bustling full of buskers briamphantly blowing in the blossom the biggest and baddest of...

Orgers!

Off the bus a hoard of official members of the unoffical (small p) prince site were closing in around him. Prince did the only thing he could...

... 'cease and desist', he screamed, and P blew up in their faces,

an imp plosion only matched by rumpelstiltskin or...

http://www.youtube.com/wa...detailpage

...relieved, P gave birth to a brainfart, coming from the abysmal lows

of his deflated balloonhead.

and so the promise of a future brainchild came to a flatul end.

meanwhile...

[Edited 11/18/12 8:46am]

Everyone from the Org(prince, small p), and everyone within a hundred square miles had a flatul-gasm. A vast quanity of purple gas entered the atmosphere creating a superstorm of forces previously unknown my man. As thousands of people enjoyed the after glow, the storm grew to cover the world. Mich McConnel hugged Obama, Trees and fields produced food all year long, Ann Coulter's nut sack dropped, dangerous green house gasses where reduced, Zionists and the Muslim Brotherhood had a picnic, and finally Prince was on the top of the charts again.

The joyful scene of people loving each other and sharing confused the hell out of Spooky Electric, who as it turns out, is....

Never to be kissed.

Not by man nor beast and especially, never after midnight. This sounded good but never really worked when you thought about it. I mean, what if it's a quarter to thix and somebody fancies some green pancakes? It's after midnight, right? So can we kiss Spooky and if so, when?

Spooky was starting to crawl for.

"Be superior at least" The gaseous ones were gently reminded in red, by the moderators of the moderators. People for miles around were swooning while floating on clouds of purple pap sprinkle. Prince could hardly stand. His temperature was running hot and if he didn't stop what he was doing he was likely to explode and apparently, he had a lot.

Prince bowed his head and gave a salutary flutter of his eyelashes. "Sometimes" he whispered, "Sometimes... I feel" he paused to release a hitherto secreted purple parp. "Sometimes" he went on, "I feel, like an uuuuuudderless chile"... He was abruptly interrupted.

Emerging from the ground were the biggest joss sticks and scented candles smelt since back on the ONA tour. The place stank something fonky. People turned to each other and smiled, wondering when the jokers purple dream gas was gonna kick in, if at all.

From a purple pasture, in wandered a lonely figure from the shadows. Through the purple haze there came a sound. A melancholically deep, four-guttural kinda sound. Prince knew he could funk. He took off all his clothes, revealing the hairiest, fattest, longest and hardest of...

[Edited 11/18/12 21:04pm]

Paisley purple pumpkin wah-wahs you ever set yo bloodshot eyes on.

It was one of the most extrapolating of motherships from tha nuthaships 4 tha muthafunkin use of. Wid an Mmm mmm on toppa tha sucka fo anotherlover, or seven. Everybody went superfunkyitchyfeetansquealchy. Everybody did.

Gyrating like the possessed hip-bone from another flip-tone. Prince, bollock-naked, had found the hashkey from the stashkey and hutchski and he was melody itself. He had a purple puff in his peachy pipe too but it felt good to him, yeah yeah. An it was good to the Boni, yeah yeah.

Masses upon masses were mooing. With each and every mooooo from every gliding body, everytime they wiggled, they made lil skipper hollar fo mo. Damn, it was smokin up in the place. Sly was shit-eyed.

"Mooooooo, your sexy botty" George started. "Let me see ya moooooo it, moooo it all across tha floor... Glide, yo sexy botty, everytime ya milk it, she leaves a sucka hollar fo mo"...

The kid was kicked back just chewing the cud, eating some fishy slips. When this funky little udder from anotherloveanudder... started watching CHIPS. She was babblin bout how bad, she could smell tha fonk. The kid said on the real side o things, you're a bit young really and I don't want any Jimmy Saville kinda shit, ya know, so you'll be hearing from my feckin lawyers.

Prince was throwing a hissy fit with the splits on... Security were on the spot in a flash.

[Edited 11/18/12 23:13pm]

The guard looked around at the mooing crowd and whipped out a pack of Oreos and a box of Twinkies.

Break Time! Union Rules!

The guard sought milk. Unfortunately, he found none. The milk of human kindness was missing, just like the blue bird of happiness. Prince wished the blue bird of happiness would fly up his nose and be his forever. The vortex swirled inside of his brain and he got an ingenious idea. Prince ran to the closet for his ruby slippers, cloak of invisiabilty, magic eight ball, and...

[Edited 11/22/12 6:22am]

his crew.

So he lit in the sky the Prince signal and summomed....

littlemissG said:

his crew.

So he lit in the sky the Prince signal and summomed....

Salma Hayek -five foot two

Nicole Richie- five foot one

Eva Longoria -five foot one

Prince's La Petite Angels

Ladies gather your loveliness around me, and I will layout a plan to find everlasting happiness.

Prince rips out a map, first...

[Edited 11/22/12 4:52am]

and says; ' look my purple pixies,

somewhere here on earth everlasting happiness exists.

find it and bring it to me,

now fly my purple pixies, fly high in the purple sky...'

what is everlasting happiness, is it love?... he pondered.

Prince was all alone when a deep voice answered;

'poor lonely computer, do you really know what love is?

it's time u learned women are not butterflies,

they are computers too'.

'who r u... who who who who', Prince replied.

the deep voice answered and said...

"You're not at home. If you think that I'm a fool, go for any line, Princey take down those cute panties, we about to grind".

Prince started shaking like a shitting dog. He took off running scared, sideways. He was ploughing his way across the field, his flashing high heels all but a blur. A cold wind whipped round his nether bits and bobs but he wasn't stopping for love nor money.

"Poor lonely computer" came the voice once more, "Windows Explorer has stopped working".

Prince started to cartwheel. Over and over he went, as he recalled those crazy hot summer days he'd spent tied to the windmill before he tore it down. With Crickets chirpin and water rushin he was feelin kinda horny. Then it came to him. He knew where he had to be, GSevenThirtyThix. If only he could get there.

He cartwheeled to a complete stop in a cloud of purple dust. Before him stood the most beautiful weekend lover he'd ever laid eyes on. She was eating a purple pasty beside a sit-down lawn mower. Prince was making analogies in his dirty mind, he couldn't help himself.

"Ello moy lover, where'd you spring from then?" asked the purple apparition in a thick cornish brogue.

"I was brought up in a Black and white world" he began, "Night and day, rich and poor, black and white"...

"No needin go gettin all wafflin away n chirpun like em blackbirds an all. Let's be gettin orf on yonder" She interrupted.

Prince hopped onto her lap and they took off for the highway. They must've been doing 12mph flat out. After about an hour...

After an hour they were twelve miles away but worlds from where he left.

Prince ?

His Angels greeted him in his own BMW which goes much faster than twelves per hour. They quickly flanked behind him.

Prince couldn't believe where the mysterous woman had brought him to....

After an hour they were twelve miles away but worlds from where he left.

Prince ?

His Angels greeted him in his own BMW which goes much faster than twelves per hour. They quickly flanked behind him.

Prince couldn't believe where the mysterous woman had brought him to....

The Mall of America

Say Whaaat?....

......where she led him straight to the big dipper. In the seats, up high, Prince undressed her. Within minutes he was munching on her open faced ham sandwich, brave considering she has been riding the cotton pony for best part of a week.

Just when she throught it was over she realised Prince had other ideas. Within no time at all prince was hammering her vertical smile til it was trembling like a tazered slab of chopped liver.

As he reversed his purple veined limo from the tuna parking bay, Prince said.....

He was stuck dab nabbit in the middle of the Mall of America?!?!

Panick stricken, Prince realized he didn't have his body guards Ray-Ray and Moo-Moo with him.

"OK, OK...." Prince thought as he reached for his cellphone.

"Shit!!! I left my damned cellphone at Scott Stapp's house while Jammin' with his band!" Prince said to himself.

He suddenly realized that he needed to get to a payphone if he wanted to get out of the Mall of Ameirca alive. Far too many minneapolis citizens where walking around with ill-fitting Lotusflow3r t-shirts while others were still waiting on their copies of Lotusflow3r and Crystal Ball. He would certain be publically flogged if he didn't get his posse to come get him quick!

"OK...All I need to do is blend in....."

"OK...All I need to do is blend in....."

Prince was still were a Japanese robe and sandals.

Do they have a Benihana here? Prince asked his three Angels.

The three ladies were hungry so off they went.

To Prince surprise, someone he knew was seated at the other side of the grill.

"Hey Prince", called...

Camille, in that skinny muthafucka high voice of his/hers.

Prince did a quick tootsie roll and bum rushed the counter. He was posturing and swaying in his Japanese robe in double time. Wearing knock-off Paco Robanne he was. Nonchalantly losing a sandal he'd started to sing 'Do Me, Burgers' when a bovine manager came out looking furious.

"Y'all can't be up in here, stinkin up like y'ar, y'all stink like some minge sushi muthafucker or sumthin. Now get yo ass up outta here"

Prince was backflipped over the counter, the shot caught him right on the 2 and fo's. He was honking, to be fair. Up and up he went. Smashing through floor after monotonous floor of overpriced trendy tat. Battered, he finally tore the roof off.

Above him, the mothership. Below him, 47,000, 50% off coupons from 25%World. Beating himself in the corner with the purplest of third eyes was Ricky Hatton though he'd no need to be.

Prince began to moo. A masturbating Cherokee Indian was nozzling her rungatwap into a purple sinner twank-furdle and now seemed like a good time to be...

...at a lonely place by himself to ponder.

Prince looked at his little puppet monkey and wondered,

how do you do it, how does one blend in?...

'it's easy', monkey replied, 'you just gotta pussyfoot Prince'

Prince guffawed, 'i'm not the one to pussyfoot,

don't u play crazy with me,

i'm ...

u..., u not crazy,i'm crazy,

i'm the one that's crazy'...

'yeah crazy...', monkey mumbled while gazing off...

http://www.youtube.com/wa...detailpage

with an introverted look on his face monkey said,

'Prince, next time you see me, do yourself a favor,

walk on by now, feel free..

freer than the butterflies, flyin' high now

flying high in the purple sky...'

Prince was all in a purple haze when...

Prince's Angels sprung into action to break Camille's spell.

Selma yanked Camille away from our purple pal to break her mind control over him. Camille screamed for her henchmen, the flying monkies to attack. Selma flipped Camille head first into the wall knocking her out colder than a November day in Minnesota.

Nicole pulled the tablecoth off a nearby table to capture the bomb driving monkeys and slapped them on the hot grill.

"Monkey meat anyone?', Nicole said with a smile.

Eva armed with two cleavers held off three flying monkeys.

The other two angels somersaulted to her side, and together they saw, heard and spoke no evil. The three purple protectors kicked some monkey butt.

Prince was pleased, very pleased. 'GOOD WORK ANGELS! NOW LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!!'

They ran down the mall into a shop called the Wrecka Store, where they caught their breath in the local artist section. Looking up Prince saw...

[Edited 11/27/12 4:15am]

His whole back catalogue laid out before him.

Outside, three monkeys scampered away out of sight. Being mystical transient transcendentals they could never have been truly harmed. They had a round the world in a day trip planned and they were getting outski. Somebody said they might have been wearing boots but they couldn't be sure. They left a strong scent of redbeard lingering near the lingerie shop and hopped off out of it, looking for Apples.

Prince began flicking through the albums. Some idiot had left some Freddie Prince and Prince Buster stuff in the wrong section. "Bleedin typical", he said to himself and with a wry smile and a crafty stroke of his dampening purple pipeline, he placed them carefully where he thought they belonged. He frisbeed them clear across the staw.

Looking back through all the vinyl gemstones and the pictures of himself he felt love. He felt sexy and controversially, he was getting a dirty mind, for you. One thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine crystal balls tumbled through his holy afro. He was burnin up, that was the truth. He needed at least one night alone so he could tie everything together. Beside him hung some headphones. He put them on to keep his dancers ears warm and he heard the sounds.

Now he could see the dawn... He was tripping. Constantly checking his eyelids were still working he wondered if tonight he'd be making love with only words. He'd let the girls go first if he had to, before giving them the obligatory pounding. Every record sleeve in the place was covered in LSD and he was flying like Tim Leary on a night out with Cheech & Chong.

"Enough o this tame shit" he whimpered, "Who wants some...

... '7 inches or more...

i'm rockhard in a funky place and

it's about time for the stick', Prince hollered

'c' mon Lisa where you at and bring your sister'

Lisa blew a hairflip and snubbed,

'hush or i may have 2 torture you now'

'everybody, take a bite of my purple rock',

Prince persisted, 'let's work, wherefore art thou puppy'.

Scarlet Pussy walked in on all fours and purred,

'oh honey i'm scared of you...'

'don't be shy', Prince smirked, 'yo momma wasn't,

so ya might as well get loose, it ain't too far to fly,

cuz you're aboard the Seduction 747

and this is your pilot Prince speaking,

prepare for takeoff...

To a place you can always see the sun

day or night

You ask me if I love you, it's alright

because I'm not like those other guys you hang around

It's kind of funny because they always seem to be the ones who let you down

I don't want to hurt you,

I just want you to have some fun

Ain't that right Maja2405?

Maja2405 nods in agreement.

Prince presses his fingertips to his lips then to Maja2405 forehead.

When Maja2405 awakes...

[Edited 11/28/12 8:33am]

...Prince whimpered 'i'm so cold

just hold me...

'no silly little man, that's not how it works'

Lisa reprimanded, 'hush now you puppy,

i'm going to have to torture you now'...

Scarlet Pussy's claws pierced his wonderful lil tush

and Princey started to grind...

'what are you gonna do littlemissG,

you just gonna sit there and watch'...

Lisa smirked, 'Maja was only dreaming when

she wrote it so forgive her if it goes astray'...

'c' mon littlemissG, you heard me, Prince whimpered,'

'just hold me'...

[Edited 11/29/12 7:11am]

LittlemissG stroked Prince's bald head.

His hair grew magically, flowing and curling back to it's former glory.

Now my sweet prince tell me a story she said.

Prince's eyes twinkled and he said...

Time upon a once
There was a boy named Camille
Now this boy named Camille
didn't borrow, beg or steal
Sometimes he threw rocks at passing cars
At night he'd reach out and try to touch stars

He painted a picture, created a symbol
and pumped himself up to the size of a thimble
Lollipops in yours.

Hate 4 the ones who ever doubted his game.
Hate 4 the ones who ever doubted his name.
So much hatred goin on in the world
It's an energy exchange, isn't that right?

In the lowest utmostest he studied hypnosis
til Shelby came up with some bad halitosis
A three handed woman helped Camille along
Nobody knew he was wearing her thong
Skiddy Floss. A new colour. Hueeeeeeeeewwww.

4 inch heels with bright flashing lights
SpookyElectric and 21 Nights
A picture for sweetie if you wanna gett off
Or jam in the afters like pigs in a trough
Joy, in repetition.

Some people said they loved him
but Camille went cock-eyed and said
Cranberry Sauce, pancakes, mashed potato, mustard, Maple syrup and jam.

Activate the flow of excitement people
Extinguish all clothing materials and pull my body close to...

Extinguish all clothing materials and pull my body close to Lindsey Lohan.

Camille pulled a haggard looking Lindsey to the side and whispered...

[Edited 11/30/12 5:44am]

...."Lindsey......why you wanna treat me so bad?"

Lindsey was taken aback, and pushed Prince away. She reeled around and thurst her finger in his direction, and declared:

"The time has come to reveal the truth....I am not actually Lindsey Lohan at all. In fact, there is no such thing as Lindsey Lohan. She's just a made up entity, sort of like Santa Claus orSlash.

I must reveal my true self, as the End Of Days is nigh. So behold Purple One....I am in fact.........."

"Everybody stop on the one" Prince didn't even let her finish.

"Whatchoo say?" he went on.. "Made up Santa Claus", his eyes were all a glow as he scampered off mumbling to himself on his purple space hopper.

He knew better than to go space hopping barefoot but he was past caring. With a squeak and a groan he pushed himself into that special purple valve. "Aint nobodys bidness" he told himself.

"Hey P" Came a voice. Prince unplugged himself with a daddy pop and quickly span around to see...

Fonkyman said:

"Everybody stop on the one" Prince didn't even let her finish.

"Whatchoo say?" he went on.. "Made up Santa Claus", his eyes were all a glow as he scampered off mumbling to himself on his purple space hopper.

He knew better than to go space hopping barefoot but he was past caring. With a squeak and a groan he pushed himself into that special purple valve. "Aint nobodys bidness" he told himself.

"Hey P" Came a voice. Prince unplugged himself with a daddy pop and quickly span around to see...

President Barack Obama!

'Prince I need your help...'

[Edited 12/2/12 9:00am]