After years if extensive research, it has been discovered that Prince is not a cow.

Our community really believed Prince was a cow because how could someone that talented not be at least part cow. But top bovine scientists have made the discovery that Prince does not really have any characteristics of a cow and was born to human parents.

Here are some of the discoveries scientists at Cowlumbia University made:

1) Prince is a biped. Quadripeds are not able to walk on 6 inch heels and those that attempt to stand on such heels are easily tipped.

2) Prince does not chew his own cud. True he was chewing something around the Graffiti Bridge era but the scientists determined it was not cud.

3) Prince only has one stomach while cows have four. If he had four stomachs as small as he is he would be like 85% stomach which is not scientifically possible.

4) Prince's nipples do not produce milk. Shockingly enough, they have no function whatsoever.

5) Prince does not sleep standing up. Research shows that he has not slept since 2004, a feat made possible by his four year hibernation between 2000-2004.

6) Prince has denied being a cow on many occasions, including a recent article from a newspaper in Canada. See below for his translated response.

Interviewer: This question has come up a lot and you have always been ambiguous about this. But, being a bright young reporter from Montreal, I thought I would just ask you straight out. Are you a cow?

Prince: They do say that don't they? No, of course I respect the mighty and wonderful cow, their milk being so sacred that I would not dare cover my Captain Crunch with such divine liquid. But no I am not a cow. I know it is easy to mistake me for the most musically talented of all animals, the cow, but no I'm a human. A very talented human who is almost cowlike in my artistry but you know cows don't own their own masters like I do. As great as cows are, and they are truly great, they are like sheep when it comes to musical ownership.

Great work, bovine scientists in cracking this mystery. I feel this thread will be very controversial, as many will just not be able to accept the fact that Prince is not a bovine. Please be nice and docile in your response.

OMG I don't know whether I should laugh or think something's wrong with you.

Cow you a crazy muhfuckka

OK, well, what explains this then?

Prince rocks Cow Palace in 1985

Feb. 27: Prince, rock's bad-boy darling, swept into the Cow Palace to snarl and strut his stuff in front of 12,000 hard-core fans. Some in the audience had paid $100 for a ticket marked $17.50 to see the current king of rock-and-raunch - not including what they paid for purple shoes, purple pants, purple nylons and purple whatevers.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi...1BOD4F.DTL

This is that dangerous place in between Prince projects when fans get too antsy! Expect a 'Prince is bald' thread in 5, 4, 3, 2...

LOL CLASSIC

HonestMan13 said:

This is that dangerous place in between Prince projects when fans get too antsy! Expect a 'Prince is bald' thread in 5, 4, 3, 2...

We damn well know that [Variation of N word snip - luv4u] is bald. That rug he calls hair aint shit.

i don't know... awful lot of cow bell in 'endorphinmachine'

Why isn't this on the front page?

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHA

THIS IS JUST

RE..DICK..U.LESS

I don't know whether to laugh or drown in the pool of my tears from laughter..lol

EyeJester7 said:

OnlyNDaUsa said:

EyeJester7 said:

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHA

THIS IS JUST

RE..DICK..U.LESS

I don't know whether to laugh or drown in the pool of my tears from laughter..lol

It is UDDER-ly re-dick-u-less

Hahahahahahahahahhahahah!

The connotations in that is HIGH LARRY US! Hahahaha

haha.. a cow?

funny.

I believe he is not a cow, though sometimes he makes it hard on his fans by being ambiguous. Those tags he wears on his ears, those unusually large round eyes, his vegetarianism - these things can lead the general populace to believe he is a cow, no matter how much I offer evidence to the contrary.

However, if it turned out he were a cow, it would not alter irrevocably my view of his music.

He performed besides two cows at the muppets tonight show.

ludwig said:

He performed besides two cows at the muppets tonight show.

See! People keep wanting to claim he's a cow despite evidence that says otherwise!

erik319 said:

He did release an album called Moosicology though, so you never know...

And he has dropped a few cow pats on us, NPS etc. Hmmm....

ludwig said:

He performed besides two cows at the muppets tonight show.

As well as on Gett Off video........this might mean he just has an attraction to cows.

Cow you may in luck for that next phone call he makes!!!

erik319 said:

He did release an album called Moosicology though, so you never know...

Also dont forget -

An-udder Lonely Christmas

Cow The Law

How Come You Dont Cow Me Anymore

dodger said:

erik319 said:

He did release an album called Moosicology though, so you never know...

Also dont forget -

An-udder Lonely Christmas

Cow The Law

How Come You Dont Cow Me Anymore

And the classics:

I Cud Never Take the Place of your Man

Daisy Chain

I wish U Heifer

You are correct, Prince is not a cow, he is in fact a cock! [img:$uid]http://i757.photobucket.com/albums/xx218/MMikeyBee/Gifs/cock.jpg[/img:$uid]

erik319 said:

dodger said:

Also dont forget -

An-udder Lonely Christmas

Cow The Law

How Come You Dont Cow Me Anymore

And the classics:

I Cud Never Take the Place of your Man

Daisy Chain

I wish U Heifer

Moo's To The Pharaoh

The Question Of Moo

Underneath The Cream

U Got The Milk

Why U Wanna Milk Me So Bad

dodger said:

erik319 said:

And the classics:

I Cud Never Take the Place of your Man

Daisy Chain

I wish U Heifer

Moo's To The Pharaoh

The Question Of Moo

Underneath The Cream

U Got The Milk

Why U Wanna Milk Me So Bad

how on earth did it take so long for one of us to come up with Underneath the Cream

It is obvious that many of you are in complete denial about Prince's non-cowhood. It took me several days and multiple drinking binges before I completely accepted it.

dodger said:

erik319 said:

And the classics:

I Cud Never Take the Place of your Man

Daisy Chain

I wish U Heifer

Moo's To The Pharaoh

The Question Of Moo

Underneath The Cream

U Got The Milk

Why U Wanna Milk Me So Bad

Wait...I thought cows were for calves