Yeah you are right, maybe it was necessary for him. Whatever helps him and keeps him safe. If religion provides that for him than who am I to judge. I just finished watching the Oprah interview. The part he talks about his split personality really touched me. He said he probably created that person because he needed someone to love him. He was only 5 years old. If he was sexually abused at 16 like the "sister" lyrics imply (if indeed its autobiographical) than he must have been suffering all his life. Resilient he is yeah. Thank you for always providing such great info. It is much appreciated. Also, can you please tell me where I can watch the full Tavis Smiley interview?

hls2000 said:

Oubah said:

Something traumatic must have happened in his life other than the death of his baby. I feel sad for him.

Yeah, don't know. He never talks about it, nor does his sister (that I know of). He does have a half-sister who was 32 when he was 16, so if "Sister" is in any way autobiographical, that's quite messed up. Tavis Smiley asked him why he's not a mean person considering his environment growing up, and he answered that he retreated into self and basically created his own world, and that his sister is the same way. One of my bros is a psychologist, and he says this is a typical reaction of kids who are resilient. The ones who are too "realistic," they are the ones who get lost, they get overwhelmed by the odds. The "unrealistic" optimistic ones, and also self-regulation and self-organization skills are important, are the ones who have something to cling to from getting sucked into a cycle of poverty, violence, abuse, etc. "The Sacrifice of Victor" is almost an ode to resiliency - and I hear it might be autobiographical too (the part about epilepsy, busing to school).

My point w/ all this is, whatever pill he's taking, let's be glad it's not the illegal narcotic kind, and whatever we think about his behavior or beliefs, it helped him get to being a productive, successful human being, so maybe it was necessary for him.

Personal Characteristics of Resilient Children

The results of many longitudinal studies (Garmezy et al., 1984; Rutter, 1983, 1985, 1986; Werner, 1984; Werner & Smith, 1982) have provided perspectives on the critical developmental personality factors that distinguish resilient children from those who become overwhelmed by risk factors:

(a) an active, evocative approach toward problem solving, enabling them to negotiate an array of emotionally hazardous experiences;

(b) an ability from infancy on to gain others' positive attention;

(c) an optimistic view of their experiences even in the midst of suffering;

(d) an ability to maintain a positive vision of a meaningful life; (this plus (c) is what my bro calls putting a positive spin on negative experiences - he's said before of such a kid, "man, he's deluded," but that kid's the one who's made something of himself despite the odds).

(e) an ability to be alert and autonomous;

(f) a tendency to seek novel experiences; and

(g) a proactive perspective.

Self-Concept Factors

Besides the buffering factors of temperament and family and environmental support, research has shown self-concept to play a role in resiliency. The capacities to understand self and self-boundaries in relation to long-term family stressors like psychological illness, to enhance positive self-esteem as a result of adaptive life competencies, and to steel oneself in the wake of stress all act as protective factors for at-risk youths.

Exerpt from

Promoting Resilience in At-Risk Children
Rak, C., & Patterson, L.
Journal of Counseling & Development: JCD, 744, 368-373. (1996).

[Edited 9/22/11 1:00am]