Long before Al Gore became the bullhorn for global warming and environmental issues, Prince had attempted to raise awareness of self-sustaining living. Where Al Gore’s motivations may not have been completely altruistic—after all, there is a Democratic Party benefit to someone who campaigns for causes that are in stark contrast to some of the more seedy policies of the Clear Skies act, his contrived attempts to bring them to light did actually cause some dialogue. It’s just that Al isn’t really quite as commanding as Prince on stage. Moreover, Al Gore’s relatively less-than-uplifting persona simply dulls the message of what he’s trying to convey…He’s just not likeable, and his message, though worthy of a bit of attention, is mired in political mumbo jumbo.

Prince on the other hand, had gone through a spiritual rebirth during the 90s, and this lead to a new sense of consciousness. He stopped cursing (Tipper would be so proud of him if her tin-case of a frame only had a heart), he started supporting causes to prevent cruelty towards animals, and he started to live a life more in line with a quazi-hippie-meets-JW-mish-mash of spirituality. Discounting the environmental toll that his hair relaxers, mac makeup, and trips (unproven) to the plastic surgeon must of wreaked on our fragile planet, Prince was actually quiet pious towards his newly embraced quazi-religious green revolution.

But, this rebirth of the flesh so to speak had affects on his artistic statements post-release. That is to say, his older material was rearranged and changed on stage to match his new found beliefs. This is both expected (and not out of line with what Prince has always done), and a bit …unnerving.

“23 scriptures and a one night stand.”

Really? 23 scriptures and a one night stand? And what exactly does that even mean? Are we expected to believe that somehow 23 scriptures applies to a one-off fucky-sucky moment? Are we supposed to believe that somehow, a song titled “Gett Off” can actually spiritually uplift us? I just don’t know.

If one thing has proven true throughout the years, it’s that Prince is obsessed with ass and vaginas. I mean, OBSESSED. Little Red Corvette, girl U got an ass like I’ve never seeeeeeeennn….. Now move yo big ass round this way ….. She had the cutest ass he ever seen…he did too, they were meant to be….

It’s not hard to imagine Prince’s early life being a buffet of ass…. Shiela E., Vanity, Cat, Mayte, Morris & Jerome…Prince has plundered many a hole in search of the holey and profain. And he’s attempted to mix his ass with his spirit as well. LoveSexy is really nomore than an attempt to mix TONS of ass with TONS of spirit. Shit, I’d call that album SpiritAss if based soley on content. But it was done right.

Reenventing to past with spiritual updates to songs that don’t actually lend themselves to such is just not advisable.

Would Eazy E say, “I like sweet black scriptures, on my script? Word to the mother Teresa DJ Quick?”… No! Because it’s sweat delicious black pussies on his dick,…Not armaeic/greek/Hebrew texts written by sexually frustrated old men on his penis.

What gets me is that Prince has been so fascinatingly good at times with allegory, that I don’t understand why he doesn’t just employ that with his catalogue. I wouldn’t mind something like, “23 expressions and a happy ending” or something to that affect. At least it still remains true to the original intent without the strangely dreaded curse words. Just a dose of allegory and we could have Darlin Nikkie again. Why couldn’t he just replace “I met her in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine” with “I met her in a hotel lobby asphyxiating a chicken holding an issue of Bon Appetite with one hand.” People, I’m telling you, that SHIT WORKS.

Look, Prince may have found a new religion. And he may be a respectable musican now, but you better bet your ass he’s looking for an opportunity to get you both naked underneath the sheets…even if you peeked underneath to reveal that at his age, the liver spotted skin on his buttcheeks is starting to resemble that on his testicles; but that’s a subject for its own thread, really.

The fact of the matter is this: Your past happened. It’s up to you whether you want to remember the past or not. But reinventing it publically when other people lived it with you is strange. Either leave those songs alone and truly move on, or go back to the songs on stage, but don’t be so clumbsy lyrically about it—23 scriptures indeed!

So to wrapup, we’ve discussed Prince, all things anal, Al Gore, and allegory, and how each is related to the other in Paisley Park.

Thank you, and I’d love your input.

.

[Edited 2/27/11 7:49am]

Shawnt27 said:

Thank you hotness.

Pan down and check out my prince & Golden girls thread. That one is truly educational.

The bigest laughs for me..

"(unproven)"

and

"Thank you, and I’d love your input."

Wasn't this a Dan thread...?

Genesia said:

Wasn't this a Dan thread...?

I thought this was the same dude. I thought he was recycling his top hits. It's not just Prince that runs out of original things to say.

Genesia said:

Wasn't this a Dan thread...?

isn't it still?

errant said:

Genesia said:

Wasn't this a Dan thread...?

isn't it still?

Good point.

No fucking way! Dan is back!

The org may not be doomed just yet.

Demmit, it took you two threads to become my favourite poster here

Please do stick around

Dave1992 said:

No fucking way! Dan is back!

The org may not be doomed just yet.

I can't wait until you take over the world, muffin

mblevels said:

Demmit, it took you two threads to become my favourite poster here

Please do stick around

Nice 2 meet U

SagsWay2low said:

If one thing has proven true throughout the years, it’s that Prince is obsessed with ass and vaginas. I mean, OBSESSED. Little Red Corvette, girl U got an ass like I’ve never seeeeeeeennn….. Now move yo big ass round this way ….. She had the cutest ass he ever seen…he did too, they were meant to be….

The fact of the matter is this: Your past happened. It’s up to you whether you want to remember the past or not. But reinventing it publically when other people lived it with you is strange. Either leave those songs alone and truly move on, or go back to the songs on stage, but don’t be so clumbsy lyrically about it—23 scriptures indeed!

Thank you, and I’d love your input.

[Edited 2/27/11 7:49am]

Rather an interesting post which received no input.

Your alternative song endings are not really enchanting though, there's too much of a change.

I don't agree that Prince is as obsessed as you say. If you read Vernon God Little, now there's anal fixation for you. As for the rest, Prince has had a heathy sexual appetite and yes, much opportunity to explore that avenue thoroughly.

But I don't understand your thinking in that "Prince should not reinvent his past material publically because others lived it with him."? It almost sounds as if what Prince invented and shared with us makes us public owners of it too. Sure you might have the cd, but live concerts? I don't know the 23 scripture thing you're referring to and I don't know what career path you follow. But I'm sure that there are things you did in a way 25 and 15 years ago, that are not how you do it today. Which is why he probably leaves some alone and reinvents some with new twists.

I say give him the freedom to do both.

Genesia said:

Wasn't this a Dan thread...?

After many years of fans clamoring for them, Dan is finally releasing the remastered versions of his threads.

Efan said:

Genesia said:

Wasn't this a Dan thread...?

After many years of fans clamoring for them, Dan is finally releasing the remastered versions of his threads.

Well, geez...now I feel all kinds of pressure to say something pithy yet clinical-sounding about vaginas - so he can put it in his signature.

I actually love your threads.

I really do.

Ive never cared for any of your 'Prince, Anal Stimulation' threads

Stick to photoshopped pics

Bring back "Mullet haired poodle man"

eighteenandover said:

I actually love your threads.

I really do.

mplsmike said:

Ive never cared for any of your 'Prince, Anal Stimulation' threads

Stick to photoshopped pics

Bring back "Mullet haired poodle man"

SagsWay2low said:

Dave1992 said:

No fucking way! Dan is back!

The org may not be doomed just yet.

I can't wait until you take over the world, muffin

You got the right butter for me, then?

Genesia said:

Wasn't this a Dan thread...?

i was thinking the exact same thing

O. M. JEE!!!! it IS him again! welcome back

XxAxX said:

O. M. JEE!!!! it IS him again! welcome back

ParanoidAndroid said:

Oh...long time ago, there was a similar guy called AsianBomb or whatever..

JCinNYC2003 said:

Funny essay...and very interesting point about reinventing your past and trying to get everyone to play along.

Thank you for your input.

I'm in the sig!