All this recent discussion about the Old Prince and the New Prince got me thinking, which is never a good thing.

What if Prince's revelation had happened 30 years ago? If Prince wrote then, like he writes now, some of our old favorites might have been much different...

Troubled Child of God

I guess I should have known by the fact that your legs were so weak you couldn't park your car straight,that you were a Jezebel.

Fornicating with men once, duck them, then move on to the next quickly.

Lust made me stupid, you had a pocket full of condoms! Some of them had been used!

BUT, it was Saturday, not Sunday, so it was not quite as bad. You talked me into it and I'm havin' me some of that!

Now I say,

Troubled Child of God. Baby you should be seeking The Truth.
Troubled Child of God. Find Jehovah's love. It will last.

I was amazed at the abundant sin when you drove me to your den of iniquity.
You had PICTURES of all the other men you'd had relations with and believe me, there were A LOT of them!!!

Although The Truth in me is strong, believe it or not, I had a moment of doubt. I wondered if I was up to the task.

BUT, it was Saturday, not Sunday, so it was not quite as bad. You talked me into it and I'm havin' me some of that!

Oh Lord!

Troubled Child of God. Baby you should be seeking The Truth.
Troubled Child of God. Find Jehovah's love. It will last.

You should be saving yourself for marriage.
Your physical beauty and promiscuous ways are obscene!

I'm going to tell you what's right.
I'm making the choices in your life.
I'm taking your heathen butt to church!

Troubled Child of God. Baby you should be seeking The Truth.
Troubled Child of God. Find Jehovah's love. It will last.

Jezebel, you have to redeem yourself.
You have remarkable physical beauty, but, if you keep this up, you're going to hell.

As fantastic as last night was, we should not have sex again unless we are married and you should remain chaste.

Troubled Child of God. Baby you should be seeking The Truth.
Troubled Child of God. Find Jehovah's love. It will last.

I'm afraid your going to go to hell, repent!
I'm afraid your going to go to hell, repent!




or something to that affect. Doesn't quite roll off the tongue like the original.


*KABOOM*

OMG Well done!

zaza said:

If this had happened 30 years ago, he'd have been dropped by his record company and would now be flipping burgers by day and performing at god squad recitals at night.

...And he'd probably have shown up on Celebrity Big Brother along with another 9 Z-list has beens.



Erik

by my clock 30 years ago is now

2039