Here's the review of Lotusflow3r from Pitchfork Media, a well-respected, though sometimes over-pretentious, independent music website.

It's a pretty on-point review, but these indie-reviewers need to chill with all the big college words. It's a little overkill with words like "acquiesced", "mawkish", "hubristic", "pontiffs " and "sieve". I mean, most readers are intelligent enough to use context clues to get through an article, but having to keep dictionary.com open in a separate window is a bit annoying. I think it's actually more amateurish to make yourself sound complicated when you can just keep your wording simple. It's not "dumbing it down"... just not "complicating it up".

Anyway, the article can be found here:
http://pitchfork.com/revi...nd-elixer/

Or, here is the article:

For several days, Lotusflow3r/MPLSound sat on my hard drive, daring me to click play. I finally acquiesced, knowing this review was due, and suddenly realized how much my relationship with Prince has changed over the past 20 years. His rise to success, beginning with 1979's Prince, released a little more than a month after I was born, pretty much mirrored my pre-adolescent development as a music fan. By 1987's Sign O' the Times, I was ripping the cellophane off the cassingles when barely out of the store, hoping to soak up a little of that Princely aura even if it would be hours before I'd be near my tape deck.

Like many who came of age when each new Prince album expanded our conception of pop, I've already struggled through plenty of self-cannibalized sketches and ever-more-mawkish ballads and unsuccessful experiments to locate the canon-worthy songs lurking in his decade-plus of hubristic over-production. I know a jumble of decent tunes, lackluster jams, and outright dreck invariably awaits on any Tuesday morning bearing a new Prince album. This time around, and in several key ways, we get a partial throwback to the Prince records I greedily inhaled as a tween. (For one thing I bought a physical copy at a chain department store, something I haven't regularly done since I could drive.) That added a little twist to my distress when I realized that, at age 31, I was actually kind of dreading my first play of a new Prince album. It's a future the 12-year-old me would not have wanted to reach.

Assessing a new Prince album all but demands forced objectivity and willfully ignoring his first decade as a recording artist. Want to look like an idiot? Write a screed lamenting the fact that an artist has failed to consistently entertain, let alone surprise or enlighten, for over 30 years. But what's left, once you choose the road of sane detachment, other than a review that can be summed up as "predictably imperfect, your mileage may vary"? Hence my low-level dread. So here's my hardly original thesis, which many could have guessed even before clicking: Don't buy this album unless you're willing to do the work of winnowing it down to the tracks you find enjoyable/passable. Two new Prince albums (plus a third disc we'll get to in a minute) for the price of one might as well come with a giant sparkly sticker that reads "For Obsessive Amateur Editors Only." Filler on a 21st century Prince album? Do purple pontiffs leave paisley piles in the Minnesota woods?

Lotusflow3r is mostly neutral funk-rock. When I say "funk-rock," I don't mean the taut, digitally enhanced amalgam Prince invented/perfected in the 1980s. I mean the looser variety, amenable to extended onstage takes, that friend and foe alike would describe as "organic," albeit with very different inflections. It's a sound that works best when he observes three important guidelines: 1) He restrains the stock guitar heroics (has anyone's instrumental creativity been more effectively hampered by being repeatedly declared the last great virtuoso?), 2) He keeps the tempos club-friendly (or at least friendly in the context of old-school weekend at the 40-and-over spot), and 3) He remembers his faux rivalry with fellow funkateer Morris Day was more productive than his imagined rivalry with musically ignorant young folks.

But when I say "neutral," unfortunately I mean pretty much exactly what you probably think I mean. The only track with an immediately memorable hook is his cover of "Crimson and Clover", which would be sadder if he hadn't been obscuring his preternatural catchiness for some time now. On Lotusflow3r, as on all of his albums since he became a classicist by intent and a live workhorse out of necessity, Prince mistakenly assumes instrumental prowess to be of primary importance to anyone other than online guitar-tab traders, while also displaying an unflattering and near-constant need to prove he can hang with the multi-cultural heroes who shaped his worldview. There's no need to genuflect when you've long since been admitted to the pantheon.

If Lotusflow3r is generic and too-reverential modern day muso Prince, then MPLSound is either crass or delusional. It's crass if it's a conceptual cash-grab, Prince bald-facedly pastiching his own 80s sound as a profitable parlor game. Times being vice-tight, presumably even for those with the renewable resource of a deep catalog of hall-of-fame hits, dusting off the drum machine makes a certain sad sense, and a by-numbers ballad like "Here" sounds undeniably better backed by its twee little keyboard hook than, like, a flute. It's delusional if he's serious, because it means he thinks these flimsy self-homages wouldn't sound anemic next to tunes from Purple Rain or Parade, which you can at least write off as the kind of perception-free baloney we expect from geniuses of his stripe.

Either way, MPLSound is (surprise) momentarily enjoyable and completely inessential, happy to provoke Palovian responses since the hard work of honestly juicing your head, heart, or hips is antithetical to the whole idea. Sure, you can still sieve off a few decent tracks for your "Prince in the Aughts" playlist; the Camille redux of "Dance 4 Me" is my personal choice, if only because he tries to shoehorn in all of the sex/religion/androgyne clichés. But while I'd pick electro-funk Prince over jazz-funk Prince every day of the week, the proximity of Lotusflow3r makes the pleasures of MPLSound feel even more hollow, like it's merely a spoonful of synth-driven sugar designed to sell naysayers on the non-electronic new stuff Prince wants you to cherish as much as the old faves.

Elixer, the aforemetioned third disc, is actually by newcomer Bria Valente, who should at least be happy she's been able to piggyback her way to bad reviews in national publications, rather than languishing in the promo bin purgatory to which she'd be consigned if her producer was a cousin with a copy of Pro Tools. Elixer runs the gamut of bland-but-classy R&B, from antiseptic slow jams to rote dance-pop, slick as you'd expect and completely failing to suggest what bunched Prince's panties when he initially discovered Valente. Many of Prince's pet projects have been little more than ventriloquist's dummies-- excepting skilled musicians like Sheila E. or irrepressible lunatics like Morris Day, the master hasn't had much patience for personality-driven showboats-- but any trace of weirdness or wit or actual eroticism has seemingly been purged from Valente's performance at Jehovah's request, which reflects worse on egomaniacal producer than nominal artiste in this case. Like some depressing footnote to the whole Lotusflow3r/MPLSound experience, Elixer sparked my final sad realization about my current relationship with Prince and his product: Who knew I'd one day get wistful for the vacuous but honestly carnal fluff of "Sex Shooter"?

— Jess Harvell, April 13, 2009





Could this please be my first sticky ever?

O.K., lets get 'real', in the great scheme of things this 'writer' needs to get a sense of persepctive, P just cannot win, he's finally let the guitar let rip on record and come close to his live sound yet now he gets slaughtered for trying to show off and be a guitar hero!. P has gone back to his classic sound, the one that most fans wanted him to and now gets accused of lacking ideas and originality!. Seriously, if this set were the new J.T. or M.J. record it would be proclaimed as pure genuius and be talked about for the whole year.
The writer, like most other so called reviwers seems to miss the point, this about P doing what he wants , when wants, there's hits and misses along the way but so what?, as the late great Mr. Mercury once said 'it's only a bloody record'!!.
Oh and for the record this isn't me whining because i'm some blinded Purple fan who can see no wrong in anything P does, I just have a sense of perspecive and realistic expectaions when it some to P.

berniejobs said:

You were not kidding. This guy threw out some serious syllables. It was hard to wade through that thick-tongued shit.

squirrelgrease said:

Which only made him look that much more of a tit when he missed the V off Pavlovian.

not to mention the n from aforementioned
(lets not even discuss wilfully)
[Edited 4/13/09 2:40am]

Spank86 said:

I noticed that too.

Regardless of the writer's desire to flash off his vocab. I thought it was a pretty good review.


I'm guessing he means 20 years? But the point still stands, I say the same myself to people, if you're going to try and get anything out of Prince's post WB stuff, you have to just not sit there comparing it to the 1978-1988 period, because it's futile.


I like Lotusflow3r a lot, but I agree with the reviewer that at the side of Lotusflow3r, MPLSound looks even worse than it does stand alone.



This is so cutting, but wow, so very true.



.
[Edited 4/13/09 3:46am]

great review

Ahhhh. No more candy 4 him...right honey?

japanrocks said:

great for someone who has no idea how to review a cd...

a little too negative on Lotusflow3r but this quote is on point:

"Prince mistakenly assumes instrumental prowess to be of primary importance to anyone other than online guitar-tab traders.... "


Over repeated listens, however, Lotusflow3r is his most "complete" album in a long while. Every song (even FG,FB, FW to my surprise) employ the same aural pallet. While true the "hooks" are not 80s or even 90s quality, I can appreaciate an album that sounds like it hangs as a whole.

Even MPLSound, he tries the same thing. Unfortunately, the featured tracks are just horrid and the set is only partially redeemed by its down tempo "filler" which is much better than his usual filler as the ballads display a high level of emotional maturity and No More Candy is tons o' fun.

LondonStyle said:

pretty much.

Pitchfork makes my gag reflex itch.

pitchfork is usually a way for me to exercise my eye-rolling muscles , but there were a few spot-on observations in this review. i think i would have upped the optimism by maybe a notch or two, because honestly i DO think there are some diamonds in the rough on this album that saves it from the mediocre hell of his last album, though the general cynicism on display in this review does kind of generally match the way i've been feeling about prince's output lately.

berniejobs said:

squirrelgrease said:

The best piece of advice I got when starting my writing career was, "Never use a two-syllable word when one syllable will do."

berniejobs said:[quote]Here's the review of Lotusflow3r from Pitchfork Media, a well-respected, though sometimes over-pretentious, independent music website.

It's a pretty on-point review, but these indie-reviewers need to chill with all the big college words. It's a little overkill with words like "acquiesced", "mawkish", "hubristic", "pontiffs " and "sieve". I mean, most readers are intelligent enough to use context clues to get through an article, but having to keep dictionary.com open in a separate window is a bit annoying. I think it's actually more amateurish to make yourself sound complicated when you can just keep your wording simple. It's not "dumbing it down"... just not "complicating it up".

I totally agree as to how bad this reviewer is, whether you agree the review or not, which I don't.
I mean, I just gave up half way; just too pretentious for my liking. Anyways, I got the gist of it; jess doesn't like it.
But then again, i wouldn't take notice of anything Jess says. I mean, we all love SOTT but have you ever heard of an 8 yr old (cos thats how old jess would have been in '87) so desperate to get their hands on a copy! Liar, Liar, pants on fire, thats all i can say.

The writer makes a few valid point although at times it seems like he is in love with his own voice...

As for the snark throughout the review, that's just par for the course with Pitchfork...They rarely give a positive album review...lol

i'm still salty with them for giving grace jone's 'hurricane' a 7.2...which for them is a glowing rating, i guess.

I always think when it comes to major established artists, Pitchfork is not reviewing the current music, but they do a whole write up on the artist and bash him/her for the sake of it.

Pitchfork actually praised Gwen Stefani's second album while all the other major publications gave mixed reviews, so they are not exactly credible in my opinion.

Also, didn't they choose Justin's "My Love" as the best song of 2006, jumping on the bandwagon?

But Pitchfork shows a lot of love for Prince, for instance on their list of 100 best albums of the '80s (all the usual nerdy white-boy suspects):

045: Prince
Sign 'O' The Times
[Paisley Park/Warner Bros; 1987]
Along with The White Album and Exile on Main Street , Sign 'O' The Times is the template for the perfect double album. Take an artist at the peak of his powers, give him the space to work all his crazy ideas to their logical conclusion, and then edit the results into a varied four-sided collection. Club classics ("Hot Thing", "U Got the Look"), ballads of epic rock ("The Cross"), sexy R&B ("Adore"), and flat-out amazing pop songs ("I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man," "If I Was Your Girlfriend") are all here in abundance. Oh yeah, he wrote, played, produced and sang just about everything himself, too. Was he the greatest quadruple threat ever? Listen and decide for yourself. --Mark Richardson

012 Purple Rain
[Warner Bros; 1984]
Prince was everywhere in 1984. Almost every song on Purple Rain was in steady rotation on radio or MTV at some point (don't remember hearing "Computer Blue" anywhere), and incredibly, they never really got old. What carries Purple Rain over is the unbelievable emotional intensity Prince brings to nearly every song. He never screamed with more intensity than on the end of "The Beautiful Ones", he never wrote another melody as good as "When Doves Cry", and he never integrated his rock leanings into his sound as completely as on "Let's Go Crazy". The great accomplishments of Prince are very great indeed, and this is his greatest. --Mark Richardson
087: Prince
Dirty Mind
[Warner Bros; 1980]
No one ever made the combination of gender ambiguity and panting sexuality seem as right and natural as Prince, an outsider stuck in a mid-sized midwestern city with the balls to sport heavy makeup, thigh-high stockings and bikini briefs while opening for the Rolling Stones. Dirty Mind is the Purple One in stark black and white, as yet untouched by the spiritual heaviness that would color his work as the 80s wore on. At this point, all he wanted was to get down, in both senses of that word. The music is unbelievably lean, with the dry recording and minimal production serving as the perfect foil to the decidedly wet and lush physicality of the subject matter. Catchy electro-pop meets danceable electro-funk, Dirty Mind stands as Prince's first great album. --Mark Richardson
[Edited 4/13/09 13:01pm]

The reviewer's writing style was obnoxious and repetitive. I guess it's satisfying for these guys to make the same damn points again and again by trotting out different convoluted analogies and 25-cent vocabulary words.

As for the final scores, I feel like the reviewer dramatically underrated Lotus Flow3r but was fair to the other two.

Parroted a lot of what I said about the records in my own review. Well written and insightful. And heaven forbid someone use high school level vocabulary when writing a review. I can only imagine the take on a writer using the tools of his trade (ie using words) had this been a positive review. Then everyone would be gushing about how there was an intelligent review that praised the record.

Face it, Lotusflower and Mplsound are average at best and the third disc is a laughable bore.

Darshy said:

I was 7 years old in '87 and felt the same way Jess did. So, yes.

JMO, this review is nothing but pretentious B.S. So you no longer like Prince. Fine. Stop bitching and moaning and just forget about him then.

jesus, he probably thinks of his review as a greater achievement than the album

narcotizedmind said:

They tend to give love to classic, can't miss albums....

LondonStyle said:

Ain't That The Truth! He needs to go back to school and retake phonics.

LondonStyle said:

Ain't that the Truth. Someone needs to retake Phonics.

murph said:

Not much I'd argue with. Not many choices that I'd call indefensible (but always thought REM and Sonic Youth overrated):

100: Minor Threat - Out of Step [Dischord; 1984]
099: Gang of Four - Songs of the Free [Warner Bros; 1982]
098: Cocteau Twins - Treasure [4AD; 1984]
097: Mekons The Mekons - Rock 'N' Roll [A&M; 1989]
096: Rites of Spring - Rites of Spring [Dischord; 1985]
095: Duran Duran - Rio [Capitol; 1982]
094: Meat Puppets - II SST; 1983]
093: David Bowie - Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps) [RCA; 1980]
092: Kate Bush - Hounds of Love [EMI; 1985]
091: X - Los Angeles [Slash; 1980]
090: Jane's Addiction - Nothing's Shocking [Warner Bros; 1988]
089: Boredoms - Soul Discharge [Shimmy-Disc; 1989]
088: Spacemen 3 - Playing with Fire [Fire; 1989]
087: Prince - Dirty Mind [Warner Bros; 1980]
086: The Police - Ghost in the Machine [A&M; 1981]
085: Paul Simon - Graceland [Warner Bros; 1986]
084: ESG - Come Away with ESG [99; 1983]
083: Talk Talk - The Colour of Spring [EMI; 1986]
082: The Fall - Perverted by Language [Rough Trade; 1983]
081: Cocteau Twins - Blue Bell Knoll [4AD; 1988]
080: Hüsker Dü - New Day Rising [SST; 1985]
079: Manuel Göttsching - E2-E4 [Spalax; 1981]
078: They Might Be Giants - Lincoln [Fire; 1989]
077: The Smiths - Strangeways, Here We Come [Sire; 1987]
076: The dB's - Stands for Decibels [IRS; 1981]
075: Boogie Down Productions - Criminal Minded [Sugar Hill; 1987]
074: Mekons - Fear & Whiskey [Sin; 1985]
073: Coil Horse - Rotorvator [Relativity; 1987]
072: Meat Puppets - Up on the Sun [SST; 1985]
071: Replacements - Pleased to Meet Me [Sire; 1987]
070: Elvis Costello - Trust [Columbia; 1981]
069: The Feelies - Crazy Rhythms [A&M; 1980]
068: Talking Heads - Stop Making Sense [Sire; 1984]
067: The Pogues - Rum, Sodomy & The Lash [MCA; 1985]
066: The Dukes of Stratosphear - Psonic Psunspot [Virgin; 1987]
065: The Soft Boys - Underwater Moonlight [Armageddon; 1980]
064: Television Personalities - ... And Don't the Kids Just Love It [Rough Trade; 1981]
063: Young Marble Giants - Colossal Youth [Rough Trade; 1980]
062: R.E.M. - Reckoning [IRS; 1984]
061: Nurse with Wound - Homotopy to Marie [United Dairies; 1982]
060: Bruce Springsteen - Nebraska [Columbia; 1982]
059: Guns N' Roses - Appetite for Destruction [Geffen; 1987]
058: Elvis Costello - Imperial Bedroom [Columbia; 1982]
057: Pixies - Come On Pilgrim [4AD; 1987]
056: King Crimson - Discipline [Warner Bros; 1981]
055: The Police - Synchronicity [A&M; 1983]
054: Big Black - Songs about F---ing [Touch & Go; 1987]
053: Mission of Burma - Signals, Calls & Marches [Ace of Hearts; 1981]
052: Eric B. & Rakim - Paid in Full [4th & Broadway; 1987]
051: Leonard Cohen - I'm Your Man [Columbia; 1988]
050: Spacemen 3 - The Perfect Prescription [Fire; 1987]
049: Mission of Burma - Vs. [Ace of Hearts; 1982]
048: R.E.M. - Document [IRS; 1987]
047: John Zorn - Naked City [Tzadik; 1989]
046: XTC - English Settlement [Virgin; 1982]
045: Prince - Sign 'O' The Times [Paisley Park/Warner Bros; 1987]
044: Kraftwerk - Computer World [Warner Bros; 1981]
043: Run-DMC - Raising Hell [Profile; 1986]
042: Cowboy Junkies - The Trinity Session [RCA; 1988]
041: Beastie Boys - Licensed to Ill [Def Jam; 1986]
040: Dinosaur Jr. - You're Living All Over Me [SST; 1987]
039: The Stone Roses - The Stone Roses [Silvertone; 1989]
038: The Cure - Disintegration [Fiction/Elektra; 1989]
037: The Replacements - Tim [Sire; 1985]
036: Violent Femmes - Violent Femmes [Rough Trade; 1983]
035: N.W.A. - Straight Outta Compton [Ruthless/Priority; 1988]
034: Talk Talk - Spirit of Eden [EMI; 1988]
033: The Fall - Hex Enduction Hour [Kamera; 1982]
032: Hüsker Dü - Zen Arcade [SST; 1984]
031: Sonic Youth - EVOL [SST; 1986]
030: U2 - The Joshua Tree [Island; 1987]
029: The Replacements - Let It Be [Twin/Tone; 1984]
028: New Order - Power, Corruption & Lies [Factory; 1983]
027: Michael Jackson - Thriller [Epic; 1982]
026: Elvis Costello & The Attractions - Get Happy [Columbia; 1980]
025: Black Flag - Damaged [SST; 1981]
024: Gang of Four - Solid Gold [Warner Bros; 1981]
024: Jesus & Mary Chain - Psychocandy [Blanco y Negro/Warner Bros; 1985]
022: My Bloody Valentine - Isn't Anything [Creation/Sire; 1988]
021: Brian Eno & David Byrne - My Life in the Bush of Ghosts [Sire; 1981]
020: This Heat - Deceit [Rough Trade; 1981]
019: Public Image, Ltd. - Second Edition [Virgin; 1980]
018: De La Soul - 3 Feet High and Rising [Tommy Boy; 1989]
017: Minutemen - Double Nickels on the Dime [SST; 1984]
016: Galaxie 500 - On Fire [Rough Trade; 1989]
015: XTC - Skylarking [Virgin; 1986]
014: Sonic Youth - Sister [SST; 1987]
013: The Fall - This Nation's Saving Grace [Beggars Banquet; 1985]
012: Prince & The Revolution - Purple Rain [Warner Bros; 1984]
011: Tom Waits - Swordfishtrombones [Island; 1983]
010: Joy Division - Closer [Factory; 1980]
009: Public Enemy - It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back [Def Jam; 1988]
008: Tom Waits - Rain Dogs [Island; 1985]
007: Pixies - Surfer Rosa [4AD; 1988]
006: The Smiths - The Queen Is Dead [Sire; 1986]
005: R.E.M. - Murmur [IRS; 1983]
004: Pixies - Doolittle [4AD; 1989]
003: Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique [Capitol; 1989]
002: Talking Heads - Remain in Light [Sire; 1980]
001: Sonic Youth - Daydream Nation [Blast First/Enigma; 1988]

yipes. i'm a sonic youth fan and i think they have too many albums on that list.

wow, that's even more pitchfork-y than usual, except without the copious amounts of snark.


i can't really argue with anything he's said here, especially after the flashy vocabulary starts to recede into the background halfway through the review, but i still love these albums anyway. for Prince albums in this decade, anyway.

Wall said:

You are so transparent