i could not agree more if i tried planet earth was and still is the
single biggest disappointment in prince records to this date for me. even
musicology, which i hate, has more moments of shine and the few songs the
album has that are actually worth repeated listening are very good indeed.

planet earth, however, left me dumbstruck. to this day i still don't have
a clue as to what the hell prince was thinking. anyway, here's the review:



It's never been surprising that Prince is a contradictory presence, an icon that seems to emit pure sexual energy while only releasing perverted little notions of licentiousness, or a man of elaborately modern fashion that ends up relentlessly retro; the lithe self-appointed slave that broke his binds with a major label and then cashed in. Maybe the fact that his recent contradiction is just plain laughable is a matter of age or maturity or boredom, but make no bones about it: Prince is befuddled by technology even when he seeks to ride its cusp.

He's got that deal with Verizon wherein only Verizon users could download his "Guitar" single, and then only through their phone. He gives away his album in Sunday Mail issues in the UK. He gives a shout-out to "MP3!" during "Mr. Goodnight" after previously crooning, "In this digital age you can just page me / I know it's the rage, but it don't engage me / Like the face to face" over smooth jazz sax and piano chords dropping blots of nubile dewishness. (He, um, encourages people to test out his new fragrance by having them visit a website.) And because his marketing intentions zip out in illogical directions, he often reduces his sexy wit to insular retreads. "Page" you, Prince? Get this killer of a date from the same "Mr. Goodnight": "Watch Chocolat on the big screen / Before we convene in the pool." Fuck, and then you can offer her a sarsaparilla, maybe. And remember how you wooed that fancy female by telling a "little Spanish man" to have her call your cell in order to discuss matching outfits for the night's festivities? Before, you would have been in the bedroom waiting, helping the poor girl undress, and telling her exactly what to wear. And there's a chance she would have been your sister.

Of course his new geriatric stance towards technology isn't graceless. Prince is still able to make classlessness into weird vogue, going all Sigur Rós in his liner notes for the benefit of some cracker jack hologram that flips between his Symbol and the type of artist-confronts-world Galactus Photoshop shitball that has the same idea as the cover of the recent D12 album, only gayer. OK, slightly less gay. But "gay" is cheap and Prince looks as naïve as he's ever been, which has been something of a strength for his career, him transforming every gesture into genderless butterfuck. So, we accept a dopey cover like Planet Earth's and know deep in our hearts that Prince is more of a man than any other human being, that he screws like a champ, chews gum, and takes names. (Only to forget them.)

And of course, what actually lies inside Prince's twenty-somethingth album is more than disappointing; it's thinly if grandly produced, tapped with a veneer so dumbly decades behind any sense of interesting or intriguing taste that one can't help but sit back and swallow the benign whole, thinking all along, Who the fuck even makes music like this anymore? The last two songs alone are simultaneously ghastly and gorgeous, such soul-obliterating dreck that it surpasses kitsch and sidles alongside Har Mar Superstar's hirsute stench: "Lion of Judah" stumbles between a muddy guitar tone and hermetically sealed harmonizing, the border a transparent wall of religious imagery; "Resolution" -- incorrectly named in the coding on some presses of the CD, once again tagging Prince the unintended old man Luddite -- provides the perfect counterpoint to the opening track, because first Prince hopefully wails, "Planet Earth must commit to balance with the One," as his guitar agrees, and then later he admits, "The main problem with war / Is that nobody ever wins.The main problem with people / Is they never do what they say." Then he shifts his bastardized Jimmy Buffet lick into a starry show tune, and then he pees out the worst-mixed guitar solo I've heard all year. Oh, and then? He fades in and out a synth crescendo. Try to imagine how that actually sounds. It's like Prince's What's Goin On (1971) only instead of Detroit it's about, like, the whole world.

So, you're expecting a Prince album, I know, and this one pays a healthy daub of ballads and splatting funk. It's not bent on any comeback as Musicology (2004) or 3121 (2006) might have been, because Prince is back, born again, tempered, mainstream, Super Bowled and American Idol'd, replete with shrapnel of the Revolution ooh-ing and ahh-ing between his legs. But 3121 had "Black Sweat" and Musicology glowed with post-post-"emancipation," so, if anything, Planet Earth is limp and predictable; catchy, sure, and funny, but the dude's dead serious. And Prince has always been dead serious, or, at least, if he's as great as I know him to be, he's always been dead serious even when acting tongue-in-cheek. Now he's just dissolved the world he's spent the last thirty years building and is existing in our reality where all the shit he does contradicts and grates, frills and slips backwards in time and farts out tired moments of nostalgia.

Bring back the unbridled, selfish Prince of 1995-2004, the one that indulged in contradiction and didn't give a shit; his logic was his world's logic, and that was enough to make each doofus-y record from that time an event or, at least, a novelty. The closest we get now is a half-baked turntablist scratch somewhere inside "Chelsea Rodgers." It's as if he's just discovered the joy of tape manipulation. A couple decades too late.
Dom Sinacola :: 10 August 2007 |


makes me wonder how non fans will review LotusFlower and MPLSOUND. although i
believe both albums will be far far faaaaar superior to planet earth. well,
anything would be at this point i guess.

OPINIONS ARE LIKE ASSHOLES. WELL, THEY ARE ASSHOLES.

THEREALWORLD said:

much like your signature, which i disagree with 100%.

what about compassion, empathy or altruism?

IstenSzek said:

THANKS FOR YOUR OPINION.

IstenSzek said:

this is as far as I got, cause I disagree, Planet Earth is a very brilliant piece of wrk, my friend I disagree

and my shit don't stink

Hotel said:

You got that right.

Planet Earth was nothing NEAR a dissapointment. Sorry.

My God, what happened to Cokemachineglow that he's so angry sounding in that review. Whats it to him if Prince chooses to write music such as what is on Planet Earth? Can someone answer that one for me?

IstenSzek said:

This review is far to angry and negative. The album lyrically is great and then to call musicology bad. You need to get out more and enjoy life

opinions are like assholes but some think theirs have more credibility than

others. Isten's was lost when he cited What's Goin On but wrongfully stated

that iconic song/album was about Detroit, while Planet Earth(song) was about the

whole world. WRONG indeed, Marvin was singing about the whole world too, there

was a WAR going on,in a little place called Vietnam, ever heard of it?

btw, Somewhere Here on Earth is sublime

I feel the same. This was released during a very difficult time for me, when I could have used three or four good songs to take my mind off my heavy, constant, 18 hours a day job of taking care of a very sick, loved one. There was one song that worked a little, but I can't listen to it now. Too associated with that period. I won't even tell you what it is. Planet Earth, the song, was say too sappy to listen to. This cd is condemned to gather dust for along time.

Hope springs eternal with Prince albums, and when you first hear a new one, you're captivated just to get new music. You convince yourself that the genius still has it, and that you're listening to grace notes.

And then months pass, and you don't return to certain albums as much. Then at all. Then you try to remember a couple of decent songs from said album, and struggle mightily.

Such is the case with PLANET EARTH. The reviewer was harsh, sure, but he was also 100% dead-on. Prince is so grossly out of touch with this album that it's almost cringe-worthy. "Planet Earth" is momentarily captivating, and then you realize that it's nothing but a bunch of chord changes and cliches. "Guitar" is admittedly a fun, catchy, energizing slash track, and "Somewhere Here on Earth" is a welcome treat for fans of "Adore". And then it's downhill so fast that you need to catch your heart from leaping out of your throat, because you can't believe there isn't another single memorable song on the album. Sure, go ahead and defend "Chelsea Rodgers" or "The One U Wanna See" all you want, but tell me that Prince couldn't have churned that out in his sleep 20 years ago, and then left them as B-Sides, if that. And, yes, "Lion of Judah" and "Resolution" are some of the worst closing tracks in Prince's career, next to the ending of the Love Symbol album. It's enough to make "Reflection" sound like a classic; Prince couldn't even rip off his own mid-range, average song well.

Sorry if this sounds like being a hater. Actually, it's just being honest. When he's great - or even just 'okay' - he's better than anyone. But "Planet Earth" will rank in the bottom 2-4 albums of his career when all is said and done.

datdude said:

With out question...what a great track....like all prince music time is the best judge and Prince for me does not produce run of the mill albums/CD he never has most of his albums have 3 or 4 out of this world tracks ...the rest is just pop...but the 3 or 4 tracks he does produce knocks the ball out of park as he moves between musically styles without walls..

im not a hater, i love prince and the new songs sound encouraging, but PE is one of the most appalling peices of music I have ever heard. unlike other prince albums that I did not like on the first listen, (emancipation, TRC, NPS, etc) this has absolutely no redeeming features at all and I cannot bring myself to listen to any of it. I listen mostly to Prince music, I rotate the songs I have quite often, and I dont tend to overanalyse - its just I have no desire to ever listen to anything from PE - so its really my ears telling me its trite and utter crap.

I actually like Planet Earth. It's certainly better than Musicology, N.E.W.S., C-Note and Xenophobia put together.

THEREALWORLD said:

And you've expressed yours. Now, go wipe & wash your hands.

datdude said:

if you read the original post again you'll notice that the reviewer from
cokemachineglow wrote that. i simply copied his post onto the thread

Tell us something we don't know, Mr. Reviewer.

I still don't get how some people put 3121 on a pedestal yet kick PE into the gutter. I think it really is all down to the sheen of promotion and hype.

darmstro said:

that's exactly how i feel. it's not like i don't care for his recent music
because i always find songs i like on any album. i like new power soul and
emancipation because they might be rather bland albums but they still have
some career highlights in individual fantastic songs.

even the one off single "f.u.n.k." captivates and thrills me more than the
entire planet earth album. in fact, i think f.u.n.k. is one of his best of
the 00s material. absolutely brilliant track.

i liked a big portion of 3121 and listen to those songs regularly even now
and although i thought musicology was a horrible album not worthy of prince
it still has at least 5 outstanding, superb tracks.

planet earth has some nice songs, sure, but it's like a pastiche of all the
things that are 'wrong' with his output lately.

before the album is even 3 minutes underway you're confronted with his sad
reworking of "could it be magic". a freaking mannilow song. o.m.g. that's a
moment of suck shocking horribleness that i cannot listen to that song at
all anymore. ever. and at least once a year i still listen to jughead. but
i know for certain that i cannot ever ever every listen to planet earth at
all anymore. i remember the guitarsolo at the end being a nice breeze but
that too felt manditory and dull.

and from there on the whole album makes you cringe whenever you let down
your guard for more than three seconds and think "oh, this sounds quite
nice actually".

"you don't have to shave your legs when it ain't me that's knocking on your door"

first track with wendy and lisa in ages. makes you think that he did this on
purpose just to say "see not everything they touch turns into gold now shut
up about them".

"none of them got what it takes to be a future baby mama"

o.m.g. i know some people like it and it's got a nice linn groove and all
but those lyrics where he keeps dissing his past lovers are so tired. he
does it everytime he gets a new wife. and when he's on to the next one he
disses her just as hard. saying that none of them got what it takes to be
a future baby mama after what happened with him and mayte, is shocking to
me. it might not be meant like that and most likely it isn't but it's one
of the most shocking lyrics to me i've ever heard from him. what does he
suffer from complete memory loss now? jeez.

"call me mister goodnight, i'll make u feel alright ... (etc)"

those lyrics. prince is 50. he doesn't have to be joni mitchell
style lyrically cool for me at this point. he's always been about fun and a
little bit of silly goofing. but this is nothing like the silly coolness of
songs like "Cool". this is just silly to the point of making you sigh and
push skip, yet again.

[i]"must be baptized according to the masterplan" "butt like a letter C"

the one sort of mysterious and weird lyric about the model chelsea who likes
to talk to jimmi's ghost and saves up her tears before pouring them out to
save her soul, is smudged by another jehova shout out. and what about that
butt like a letter C thing? it's like H.E. double hocky sticks. URGH!

"the main problem with people is they never do what they say"

oh the irony. not a bad lyric as such. but this song exemplifies what i find
to be a disturbing trend in his music the past decade. he makes copies of his
own songs from the last or next to last album.

she loves me 4 me -> pearls b4 the swine -> reflection -> resolution

on the couch -> satisfied -> beggin woman

call my name -> somwhere here on earth

jukebox with a heartbeat -> what do u want me 2 do? -> future baby mama

pretty man -> northside -> the work -> get on the boat

life of the party -> incence and candles -> mr goodnight


it's like "so now i just need another ballad with crackling vynil sound and
one slow jazz crooner, plus a linn drum mid tempo track oh and let's not
forget another james brown by numbers song. plus one more over reaching out
of touch i'm the hippest daddy on the block jam".

i just hope that with this new website and he will start releasing more of
the stuff he filed away over the past decade in favor of some of the trite
songs he chose to put on his albums.

why file away things like "glass cutter" or "funk" in favor of songs like
"mr goodnight" or "life of the party" ???

NouveauDance said:

well, there are a few songs on 3121 that i absolutely love love love:

3121
te amo corazon
fury
the word

the rest is good or ok but most importantly there is nothing on that
album that i can't stand to listen to.

oh wait. i forgot about that remake of "the dance"

what was the point of that one again? it was like taking two classic
and beautiful tracks (the dance original and the beautiful ones) and
trying to remake them into something cool. it's just that the result
is pointless and laughable. i've listened to it 3 times just to make
sure i really totally hate it.

i never listen to beautiful loved and blessed and get on the boat just
gets on my nerves. so in fact i never listen beyond "the word".



perhaps that has something to do with the fact that i love this album.
i can just cut it off after 9 tracks and it's still fine.

it's Butt like a leather seat smooth

That review seems to have been written by someone very young.

Hotel said:

i thought it was so too but the lyrics pooklet (on the 3121 site in pdf)
said it was "butt like a letter c", alas.

IstenSzek said:

I like "Planet Earth"

What a great and brilliant album.

my gosh whats wrong with some people here !!!!!

theres nothing wrong with planet earth album ???

l think planet earth album is a brilliant piece of music he ever made for a man of 50 ...
now how many black artist play like prince no one can play different kinds of music like him...
as most black artist usually play the same kind of sounds or beats didnt u knw..

maybe some of u need ur ears cleaning out and listen again...

l would say its better than musicolgy at the moment....

I honestly prefer PE overall over 3121

piccolo7 said:

what kind of generalising, borderline racist post crap is that?

piccolo7 said:

I know Prince is great and can play different kinds of music, but what is so good about Planet Earth then??

i didn't say you were not allowed to like the album people,
i just said i don't like it. in fact, i almost hate it but
that doesn't mean i think you're idiots for liking it or
anything like that. i'm glad you enjoy it. i'm just a bit
sad that i can't. or won't, lol.