In honor of Moonbeam I wrote this in my "the freak" days on AMP while getting sexy with red wine (so Im cleared of all lawsuits of being weird and mispellings heh) back in 2001 so its old, but I still stand by what I wrote. I wrote it because folks were talking shit about 1999 and not respecting it back then. But its all about the velvet sweat for days.Para Ian aka Moonbeam:


Word is goin around that fools are disrespecting the album 1999 by Prince.Parade heads and SOTT people are so blinded. Sure SOTT was a pinnacle and Parade was just other people and THEIR influence..but 1999 was the sound of one man jerking off. Or one wunderkiind genius pervert new leader in his own private studio xanadu stroking himself. And everyone knows that your own person knows exactly how to get yourself off. U can have the most primo puzzy in front of you and tear that shit up and have a sammich after..you can have the hunkiest construction worker and do that deed..but errybody knows when they are all alone and get their mastabatory pleasure that all the right
spots are fullfilled efficiently and its take no prisoners. And thats what 1999 is...it starts with---

1999---rips of Monday Monday melody but takes it
to a synth fried guitar laden level..nothing made like this then or since. Futuristic sounding ..opening ominus voice telling you that this Prince guy is going to take you "THERE" so dont worry. It wont hurt..but u betta hang
the fuck on and then the synths and cymbals hit, then the solid groove. Chicks singing, alter voice and Prince singing out of falsetto..goes on with some intense imagery, lions in pockets, destruction, and something about the year 2000 being out of time and dancin like its the end. Ultimate party song with chicken scratch, and a coda rave-up. War is all around us so the mind says prepare to fight. The ultimate host saying "if u didnt come to party then dont bother..." and "we're runnin out of time, everybody got a bomb we could all die any day". Forboding set to funk. Unprecidented to this day. Then the coda as mentioned..all kinds of mugs singing "Party!!"--we
could all die anyday...then it sizzles down to a simple drum and guitar lick after the orgasm preceeding to the seemingly afterglow and soothingness
synths of..

Little Red Corvette-beautiful synths--simple yet they "sound" like they would feel like velvet. Then the way he says "sideways" sounds like he stressed the syllable wrong on purpose..sideways. Ha! Then the cheesy factor of organ keys etc but a chorus that allows one to sing it loud and handclaps!handclaps! It was saturday night--have u got enough gas? pocket fulll of horses?My god! This is sexual genius! The ultimate woman as a car metaphor song...fuck Pink Cadillac and Trampled Underfoot ( well mebbe not Trampled),but the imagary is jammin. Then the chick isnt just a corvette--her shit is so good...it is soo good that she isnt just a got-damn car, she's a
mu-fuggin Limousine! A Limo! "girl u got an ass lie Ive never seen"-who the fuck says that on wax!? A cornucopia of musical elements and ideas all meshed into one beautiful rock synth hybrid and Lisa singin "ride to the
ground" at the end.Then...

Delirious-in concert real rock-a-billy sounding. Here on wax it sounds new wave. The into drum leads to the cheese organ or whatever --sounds like a rubber ducky synth. Prince singing in deep voice trying to be Elvis..yeah
thats right he tries to be Elvis in this one. Talks about a woman drivin him delirious. Take him for a little ride up and down in n out around HER LAKE---what a metaphore for down there where it counts! Then the ending with a baby coo-ing! Ha! Prince is in his essence..use what ya got--put it all in there. Its your world..then...

Lets Pretend Were Married-now whos ol skool hasnt used this line when they were undressing gettin ready to do the dirty deed. Um lesse--tongiht lets pretend were married..in other words lets fuck with no guilt and like we are in love n together. Crude but it works. Opening drum and the Linn trademark "CAK" sound. I love that! Begins to pulsate and Prince singing low again talking to a chick. Then the ooh we sah sah coo coo yeah--just like Michael said mamasaymmasaymaacoocoosa in Wanna Be Startin something--how odd they both came out at the same time. Negroes were in a zone or sumfin back then. But Prince saying excuse me I need a mouth like yours and the synths to the fore and just drums it seems..and in the middle a "smackk-kisss ugh!" and Prince beggin with the beat still pulsing makes it seem lke one big stroke session then Prince finally lets lose and does that scream ..and then says lets pretend were married and boom!...just da drums, just da drums..and the long
version ending with the coda of Prince declaring who and what he is with an out there declaration. This isnt your fathers soul record. This Prince cat is on some out there level..tellin the hippies to sing ..and he is a hippy--he has that sensibility of love not war etc..and the salicious pre Nikki lets ball talk and the ultimate "i wanna fuck u so bad it hurts..look marsha..Iaint sayin this to be nasty.." etc. When he says I wanna fuck u that one synth goes "rrwwrerrt" like its crying lol...then you have

DMSR---ok- The funk--the beat--the synth--the wanton abandon of everything having a fit..him pronouncin his kingdom of the time and vanity 6...the guitar causing blisters...sort of a slow grind type of song..you can strip to this..you can funk to this--you can love to this..the call and response of "ooo -alright" and Prince teachin people how to clap. Right after the "all
the white people clap yur hands ohn the 4 now" part comes this one synth part that belongs on The Times first album...then comes...

Free--the prototype for the song Purple Rain. Moonbeam Levels first cousin.Gentle piano, basic verse chorus verse structure but starting with the army marching...chrous utilizing dirty guitar then back to piano only for
chorus..Prince talkin hippy talk about freedom with soul. Then the coda endig with everyone singing Free and Prince gettin down like Jimi on the vocals..when he says "free to change my mind" that one synth part that cries comes
up that belongs on vanity6 album and guitar finishing up to a drumbeat with a little guitar scaled ending and the pre Purple Rain like piano just doodling...then..

Automatic--hmmm. Linn drums, cheese synths that takes off on a flight. Prince singing in stressed proper voice. This isnt music its a trip..for real. Synth and drumbeat. Dramatic phrasing and the girls screaming "hey!!"--then the sex s&m scene..and chicks talkin about torturing u now. Swirling all around with the synths and percussion and the singing getting all rushed--like your pumping and pumping.Prince singin about he will go down on u all night long and Lisa sayin "u will" "yes I will baaabe"..and the chicks come and bondage and heys screaming and the drums still steady and more pressured singing "alright! alright!" and the girls starting to cry til u get dizzy and then boom..just the drums and the robotic chicks singing automatic. Torture scene and the ending taking off to the stratosphere and drop...then...

Something Does Not Compute--pow! Drums pushing you out of the way immediately after the carnal afterglow of the romp of Automatic. Then Prince talkin about his great legs(thanks!) and an ominus low synth over a nerdy computer
synth...then about it not computing..talkin shit about a woman.."u think your special" and how it must be something in the water for all the bullshit that woman give him..then the vocals get kind a wild in the middle with Prince just releasing the most uninhibited screams and howls..primal scream like a muthafucka...and the part where it stops and "I gotta get to ya baby"--and he also says "bitch! u think yur special? well so do I!" ( I got in trouble for that once) sounds like its all done in a sterile jar or sterilized pressurized room..and endig again after the coda orgasm to a whipser of him saying in all exasperated after came breath.."I do love u..I do.."..then we have..

Lady Cab Driver--this is Prince funk--Pop Life precurser..this is what his terminology of funk is--live drumming mixed with the Linn, the beat, him screamin for a taxi to pick his black ass up and minimilist instrumentation. Drums, and bass and the falsetto..talkin to the lady whos driving about escape..then the middle where he has a rape-sex-love scene in the back seat
where each thrust is for the atrocities fo the world (tourists at Disneyland) and then the thrusts are then for sweet things like the stars the moon and for her--the cab driver.. thats who one is for..for women who
are complex, love without sex etc and ends with them at the beach, u can hear the sea-gulls..then the good part really comes..u get these bells ringing,flute synth dooing jazzy stuff, this extened part and ...and a big azzed battle between synth and geetar!! I play this air style..a big battle between the two with the guitar screaming for vengeance at the end of the battle..and then this ..this..gurggle? Sounds like something under water or a used comdom being removed..then the drum and CHICKEN SCRATCH GUITAR and Time razor synths..and back to the original beginning and it ends with street sounds..the city..then...

All The Critics--new wave, pulse pounding, bass noodlings, Prince speak-singing listlessly..play this one loud! Chorus with cheesy spooky synths allto the same "wicka wocka" synth and beat..monotous but like trance..trance...a get high song..a zone song..and every now and then a guitar line comes on and Prince talking about jazz dying with geetar screaming in the back..."body dont wanna quit-gotta get another hit"..more wicka wocka
zone trance...then he yells out "waht are u lookin at punk!?" and his testament that all the hippies arent as sharp as him and "aint about the sexuality-turn it up!"..more circus music synths and him as a cop speaking into a handset that "he's defintiely masterbating" lol and it all ends with weird synths, the voice, background heavy mnetal geetar to and edit and stop..and then..

International Lover--cheesey organ synth but in th e background some pop bass and a doo wop piano beat that u can barely make out. Then his falsetto real real high ..a slow lounge beat..Prince doo woppin old fashioned sigin that he's gonna take a girl on a date..butmthey gonna go on a plane instead of drivin because he loves internationally..the chorus and the doo wop begins...then
Prince promising he wont fly to fast and screaming a hoot as release and him screaming the rest right before the coda long exteended has P getting the woman ready as if in flight--seat cushions used for floatation devices, no
smoking signs, and Princes' seduction. In Do Me Baby he was in a room and all shy etc...here Prince has grown up and become a man of the world and "knows" how to take her there. This mufucka is a trip. Ends with the landiing of the plane, the orgasm, no time for afterglow like on Do Me Baby..he makes the final appraoch and she puts her legs in the up and locked postion for..landing lol with Prince SCREAMING in ecstasy lol...and after he hums and the
synths slowing and the drums crashing to an end and the piano and synth noodling and Prince letting her off at theairport gate with a thanks. Prince tellin u next time u fly, fly Prince lol--in other words, next time u fuck,
fuck me!..

His deep voice box vocoder starterd here on 1999 and he used it as Bob George,God in Temptation , on TRC etc...he first did his dramatic ending talks on Intl Lover here, and Temptation etc...and yes some songs go on for a
while..but in 82 that was the thing. Extended play for extended dancing.."you can sing and dance cant you?"..so it isnt a bother to some. But to disrespect 1999 like that is some bullshit. If it wasnt for 1999, P wouldnt have realized all what he had at the tip of his hands..the world. Hehad sex with a woman on wax! He realized it with 1999 and wrecked shit and decided that
he could do this and take it on the road, then he could make a movie after this. This was what made Purple Rain. He had reached the apex with 1999,he conquered. Wasnt shit left to do but go Hollywood and change the script for
something else. Respect 1999 please. Or it will kick your ass.

"a big battle between the two with the guitar screaming for vengeance at the end of the battle..and then this ..this..gurggle? Sounds like something under water or a used comdom being removed..then the drum and CHICKEN SCRATCH GUITAR and Time razor synths..and back to the original beginning and it ends with street sounds..the city..then... "



1999 is one of my faves. What are these people talking about?

rdhull & moonbeam, you guys rule

1999 is the Definitive Party Album. It is my favorite album and it was the first time I listened to Prince. I have been Devoted ever since. Every song on that album Rocks. It's a Classic in my opinion. I LOVE that album.

20 years later you can play these Jams&pack a dance floor.the whole attitude,Hungier&Drive is on display here&more.this is Prince's sticken it too the Man&flipping the Powers off here.this was a Revolution that you couldn't Ignore.whoe lse made the end of the World Sound Funky&also kept your Ass wondering what was gonna happen next all at once??you didn't want this Party too ever end.Prince truly spoiled alot of people with Albums like this.

Unbelievably vivid review. I can FEEL that funk! This part was the best...

"him screamin for a taxi to pick his black ass up"

RD is gonna be one of the ones I ask to write a review for my book's cover

Teach em RDhull. That album never gets the respect it should. It's Purple Rain's Prototype.

theC said:

Purple Rain is 1999's bitch. Everything Purple Rain did, 1999 did better.

Moonbeam said:

Taxi,Taxi!

1999 is the bomb! I don´t need to say more. peace!

rdhull said:

You know I'm never gonna be able to just listen to this
now without thinking about someone janking a filled up
rupper off his prick.

Thanx.

rdhull said:

ROFL!!! 1999 will have a hold on me FOREVER... 1999 & RD You got REAL sexy that night, huh?!

Moonbeam said:

I wouldn't go that far.

mistermaxxx said:

So, so true! DMSR can definitely stil pack a dance floor, and I certainly agree that you can just hear the energy, power, and HUNGER he had back then! Damn, I wish for them days of music again!!

"1999---rips of Monday Monday melody"



um .. . . .i have NEVER understood this . . .i dont hear the simillarity

"1999" is the ultimate prince album... there is no contest... hell yeah, some of the songs are long, but isn't that the point of funk music... some muthafuckas seem to forget that funk is the basis of prince music... and funk songs are supposed to be long...

shit, would you complain about "one nation under a groove" being too long..?

do you wanna tell bootsy that he jams too much in "roto-rooter"..?

fuck it, let's tell james brown that he needs to edit "the payback" down to about 3 and a half minutes...

and why the fuck would the ohio players even have a record contract without the jamming..?

when you edit the funk songs down and complain about them being too long, what you're really wanting is to take the funk out of the funk... then, you're just left with some shitty pop song that's nice to bop around to for 3 minutes... just to spite every single one of you funk-hating muthafuckas, i gotta listen to james brown's "funk power" cd... 15 minutes of "talkin' loud & saying nothin'"... another 10 minutes of "sex machine"... 10 more minutes of "super bad"... don't bother knockin' on my damn door...

to all those who hate "1999," y'all seriously need to open your ears and mind and get with this shit...

EllisDee said:

I don't get that either, people talking about the songs being too long DMSR, Automatic & Lady Cab Driver could go on even longer IMO!!

CalhounSq said:

there is nothing worse than premature ending of the funk... ...

EllisDee said:

I'm testin' positive for THE FUNK!!

Great review. Very insightful. I like the way you describe all the different 'cheesy' synths.

Amen & Amen

rd Man, I'm going to sing at your wedding or your funeral which ever comes first.

.
[This message was edited Wed Jan 22 19:33:19 PST 2003 by LaVisHh]

LaVisHh said:

i think you're way out of line here...