this was written in june 1998 (by the same guy who wrote this piece that i posted earlier today.)

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(Scene starts out with classroom in the background 1999 is playin over the hall monitor)

Mr Garrison: All right children Settle down today we wont have class...instead we have a performance by the artist

Cartman:SSSWEEET but..wait a min who the fuck is the artist?

Kyle: Dude I think he means prince. U know the symbol??

Cartman: Ohh yeaaa...If I changed my name to a symbol it would be the middle finger

Stan: Dude I heard hes a jehovah now...

Cartman: screw those dolphin lovin tree huggin hippies!!!

Kyle: Dude what the hell are you talking about? Jehovah is a cult.. its a way of life for some people ... but its messed up they believe jesus was killed not on a cross but a stake

Stan: Dude thats fucked up

Cartman: I saw pictures of Mr symbol in the magazine and he wears the same eyeliner as my mom I think hes you know...

Kenny:mmphhh a buttpirate ?mmmphhh

Cartman:hahaha yeaaa...

Mr Garrison: allright children let me give u alittle background information on the...artist first his name is prince rogers nelson and hes 40 years old...on sunday

Stan: Woah hes an old fart!

Mr Garrison: He likes to wear high heels and he sings about women but we all know its a coverup on his masculinity Hes as fruity as Liberace if u ask me...

Cartman:Why the hell would the artist come to southpark??

Mr Garrison:apprently the artist has a seminar on teachin with jehovahs...with Larry Graham

Cartman: Larry who?? Like graham crackers??

Mr Garrison: No Mr larry graham was a bassist in the family stone then he got the job as isaac on the loveboat

Stan: That is sooo cool I want to talk to isaac

Cartman: heyyy I watch that show more than you do hippy!!! (screams) I get to talk to isaac

(scene cuts to cafeteria)

Chef: Hi children how is ur day

Kyle: Chef are u a fan of the artist 2..

Chef: Children let me tell u somethin U see when a man wears eyeliner and high heels its a good idea toi stay away from that maaan ...Cuz hes not quite all man

Kyle: Ohh u mean a buttpirate??

Chef: Ummm somethin like that anywaz i have a reason to not like the artist You see children I was once in his band ...

Kyle: Woah Chef u were in his band??

Chef: yes but it wasnt all what u thought it would be

Kyle: No sex orgies??

Chef: yea there were those with lots of fine lookin mamas and ohhh what bodies they had ...

Kyle: CHef!!!

Chef: Sorry children I get carried away anywaz me and the artist dont get along I stole one of my songs...

Cartman: U should kick that little gay elfs ass!!

Chef: Children a real man doesnt resort to that way

Stan: CHef..he stole ur song and u can get him back and get revenge on him

Chef: Children its the past

Cartman: If I were U id sleep with his wife

Kenny: mmmphhh knock the bottom out of mayte mmpphhh

Cartman/Kyle/Stan: (Laughs)

Chef: where the hell did u get a idea like that??

Cartman: Springer they had this couple that were fighting becuz this man bonked his wifes sisters daughter it may have looked fake but dammnnn
that bitch whooped ass!!

Chef: Ill see u children later enjoy the show i got somethin to do

(everybody goes outside and waits for the artist to perform on stage)

Stan: Dude look at this moon wraps.. who would buy this shit

Cartman: heeey those are pretty cool you can put em on ur ears and be cool

Kyle: Dude ur jus fallin for some scam this shit isnt even worth...anythin

Kenny: mmppphhh kim chi crap mpphh mphhh made in a 6th grade shop class mmmphhh

Kyle: yea hahahahaaa

(Artist hits stage)

Artist: hello south park , welcome to the new power soul first id like to talk about God...do u mind if i do that? If it wasnt for god we wouldnt have those moonwraps and my new funk line Its what u put in the bank of heaven

Stan: I wonder if Jesus is watchin this

(at home jesus from jesus n pals)

Jesus: Why that bastard Id never endorse that metal shop crap

(scene switches back to artist on stage)

Artist: Id like to thank Robfromoneanother for makin the school pay an additional 8 grand for me to perform for 30 min while Larry takes the rest of the time...in addition id like to say all proceeds are goin to me cuz "Symbol needs a new WHITE Ragtop BMW Praise god
(ammmen!!)

Cartman: Hey Isaac is gonna play bass...He can serve drinks and play the bass thas what I call Kick aaasss

Stan: Dude this is fucked up dont u see hes manipulatin the town?

Cartman: HEY! I wont have u talk about my favorite dude in the world!!

Kyle: Cartman u dont even own a prince album ...name one song

Cartman: ummm err man in the mirror??

Kyle: thas Michael jackson

Cartman: africa??

Kyle: dude thats toto

Cartman: Ohhh riggght starts singin "africa"

Stan: dude shut up hes talkin

Artist: U know a long time ago in a place called bethelhem a king was born the king of all kings

Cartman: Michael jackson??

Stan: dude not that child molester ...hes talkin about jesus

Cartman: Why do we have to listen to this crap I wanna see isaac play the bass!!

Kenny: mphhh mphhh he looks like a balding elf mmpphh mphhh

Stan: hahah yeaa

Artist: (continues talkin) I know you all are wonderin what im doin in colorado... Im here to tell u about the Truth ,,,Yall know what the truth is...

(jesus from home watchin tv): ur a manipulative elf who has never even talked to me sellin overpriced crap made in third world countries??

Cartman: this dude is deep Preach On!

Kyle: Dude U dont even have any interest in jesus u said last week jesus was a hippy who deserved to get cruicified...

Cartman: well he was a hippy He wore sandals had long hair and listened to the dead

Stan: Cartman... what the hell are you talkin about??

Cartman: Heyyy dont get me all mad asshole

(takes moon wrap and throws it at stans head)

Artist: I appreciate a robfromoneanother vibe in this room all positivity is that cool? dig if u will the picture me engaged in takin ur credit card number and maxxin it out

Artist: and now without further adieu the funkiest band in the land the new power soul (starts playin symbol guitar... with feed back) do you want more?? (goes into ol school songs kids dont know)

Cartman: heyyy Why the hell is this freak playin music from the toyota commercials?

Kyle: dude I dont know ..but this totally sucks...

Cartman: Hey Stop playin that shit u hippy elf!!!

Kenny: mphhh elf in mmmpphhh in makeup mppphh

Cartman: yeaaa...haha

Artist: Do I have..a eric cartman in the audience?? ur name has been picked to
come in join me for one number

Cartman: Sweeettt na na na I get to dance with the artist and u dont get 2

(Cartman climbs on stage)

Artist: eric do u know this song?? (plays chords to purple rain)

Cartman: heyyy this movie was on that old peoples video network they play sissy old crappp i saw that movie

Artist: Its purple rain...

Cartman: Can I sing...??

Artist: well lets do a duet ...for the crowd ok? (audience cheers)

(artist sings first line ...then cartman starts singin chorus...grabs mic...and is screeechinnn and everybody is quiet)

Artist: (whispers) Ok fatboy give me the mic...

Cartman: screw u hippy (Swings mic at princes head) u cant call me fat ILL kick u in the NUUUTS (kicks prince in the nuts)

Artist: (falls down and turns red from pain holdin his groin)

Cartman: (continues kickin prince) wheres isaaac?? i want an autograph from isaac!!!

Kyle: dude cartman is goin mental on the artist

Stan: I know... he shouldnt have called him fatboy

Kyle: or sang those toyota commercials

(cuts scene to principals office: cartman kyle and..stan and the artist and kenny)

Principal: Eric Cartman ur behaviour was unacceptable

Cartman: But he callled me fatboy!!

Artist: Thas cuz you Are (starts rappin "work dat fat")

Cartman: Screwww U hippy ILL kick ur ass!!

Principal: Eric u owe an apology to the school and to the artist

Cartman: But that fool pissed me off!!

Artist: Look it was all amisunderstanding ILL call Londell and call this off

(breaks out a symbol shaped cell phone)

Stan: Dude you are so fuckin full of urself

Artist: Excuse me?

Stan: U got a symbol shaped cellphone ..

Artist: yea I know soon these will be available at new funk

Stan: dude Thas FUCKED up

Artist: Look dont be jealous cuz u dont have the bank I have

Cartman: yea or the fact he looks like a elf ...ha ha

Stan: Dude I jus remembered he was on Oprah

Cartman: hahahaha Oh yea I remember that "wahhh Kids use to tease me when cuz i was short" stupid elf

Principal: thats enough!!

Stan: Dude u need help , goin on oprah to help sell albums

Artist: that was therapy for me...

Kyle: Therapy?? maybe it helped ur bank account but thas about it

Kyle/stan/Cartman: laugh

Artist:You Know I dont have to come to this shit town to perform

Stan: Dude no offense but who else is gonna put up with u now??

Cartman: screw u hippy I came to see isaac anywaz! damn jew

Stan: cartman? what the hell are you talkin about the artist isnt jewish

Kyle: I think hes mixed...

Artist: Cut me Cut u Both the blood is red

Stan: dude im taller than the artist on my knees thas so coool!!

Cartman: I wonder how much a circus would pay for a sideshow freak like u

Artist: Probably as much as they pay for walkin tubs of lard

Cartman: Heyyy at least im not the asshole who stole chefs song!!

Artist: Chef?? I had a chef in my band once...he was pretty cool

Kyle: he said U stole his song

Artist: Oh really ..well as I recall Chef wanted to be the show ..

(flashback sequence: CHef and artist rehearsin with band)

Chef: Sounds good prince! I like the turnaround at the end ..

Prince: Thats becuase I made it

Chef: yea well I like it ...its nice work

Prince: Nicer than anythin you will make

Chef: ohh I dunno about that man I have some stuff

Prince: No I think ur future is a short order cook for a school cafeteria

Chef: Now prince...I may be uncertain about my future but im not that uncertain (laughs)

Prince:Keep ur eyes on my signal

Chef: goddamn you are so bossy

Prince:Look if you want to be in this band u gotta...pay the price!!

Chef: How about I put trainmarks on ur fuckin eye

Prince: I wont have this kind of disobiedience in my band!!!

Chef: ahh hell ur jus mad cuz I made sweeet Luv to vanity!!

Prince: you what??

Chef:yeaa and shes one sings

Prince:You dumb bitch ass nigga!! Shes miiine!!

Chef: I guess she wanted somethin SUUPERSIZED

Prince: Shut up already !! damn...(trashin guitar)

Chef: Daaamn now caaalm down it was only one time!

(Flashback ends)

Artist: and thas how it happened so I had to take his song cuz he took vanity

Cartman: Dude u werent givin her ur fireman right

Artist:what???

Cartman: You were neglectin her for ur music

Stan: woah cartman made a reasonable point this is a first

Artist: Principal I think I have worked out my problem with Eric...

Principal: wonderful!! (outside in hallway)

Artist: In fact id like to invite..south park to the jehovah conference

Stan: dude im jewish I dont go for that cult crap

Artist: Thas Ok sooner or later u will know the truth

Kyle: that your over the hill? and full of urself?

Artist: No that stauros and jesus are connected and that the lies must be obliterated

Kenny: Mmmwhat ashit talker mmm

Cartman: hahaha yea

Cartman: you know Prince...

Artist: call me the artist

Cartman: U know prince.. Kennys family is very poor they get canned goods donated from our school to their home maybe robfrononeanother could help out

Stan: hahaha yea Kennys real poor he doesnt have cable he watches PBS

Cartman: hahah yea kenny watches those nature specials on PBs for fun..hhahahah

Artist: Robfromone another can help but we do require a proceed from thedonation preferably 99% the rest kenny can have but the other portion we
turn into gold

Stan: Dude thas fucked up u r like scrooge mcduck from ducktales!

Cartman: Hahaha Thas what im gonna call him (does scotish accent: "Boys U cant touch me money its all miiine my beauuutiful money")

Stan: woah dude that was coool!!

Kyle: Hey scrooge will be there..

Cartman: Isaac better be there 2!!

Artist: Isaac??

Cartman: Yea u know...from the loveboat dont fuck with me hippy!!

Artist: I dont know what u mean but whatever..

Cartman: the dude playin the bass ...

Artist: OHh that person

Cartman: yea isaac Scrooge

Artist: dont call me scrooge the name is the artist formerly known as prince or you can call me "the artist"

Kyle: yea whatever scrooge

Cartman: Scrooge hahaha yea go swim in ur money scroooge be sure to watch out for launch pad he might endanger ur money bin hhahahah
accent: "launnnchpad stay away from meee moneybin"

Artist: Cut that ducktales shit out!! call me the artist!!!

Cartman: yea ok scrooge what a freak (everybody laughs at the artist)

phunkymunky said:

nice avatar p.s. you may be interested in this post too... enjoy

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[This message was edited Thu Oct 31 2:35:12 PST 2002 by suomynona]

Since when was prejudiced bile amusing?

I guess it must be ... at least for the ignorant and narrow-minded.

Mr7 said:

apparently you've never seen the show.

phunkymunky said:

i didn't write this