In a TV studio at midnight, an handsome man dressed in purple makes himself comfortable in an over stuffed chair in front of a series of cameras. In his hand he holds a remote control that at the flick of a switch or the press of a button can receive and answer questions from dozens of interviewers from all over the world.

That man is Prince.

"Hello friends", He greets his unseen quest. "Tonight you may ask me anything, anything I feel like answering that is."

over the audio equipment his greeting is returned. Prince speaks again.

"Now the rules which are ..."
[Edited 8/26/07 22:17pm]

You have 5 minutes to ask 6 questions.....

"Secondly, the rules are whatever I decide they are, so you people better get right! Let's begin."

Prince smiles, closes his eyes, and randomly press a button. The button opens contact with Interviewer...

littlemissG said:

tony m. is first up "yo prince!" tony? wtf...umm you got 5mins man...go head...tony starts off asking...

Christopher said:

"Ummm... Prince, do you ever get fervid about anyone elses career?
I mean like The Time when was their last album? Or that Tarmar chick?
I also see you did a bit of rapping in Mr. Goodnight, don't ya think you can use a second rapper? Wouldn't that be hot? Would you like too...."

Prince, "I'll answer your questions in order:
Rarely.
1990.
She doing her own thing.
No.
No.
No."

Prince,"That's your six. Thanks for coming"

Prince chooses another button and....

An oddly shaped black spot surrounded by beige.
"What??"
The mole moved and spoke, "Hello Prince have you forgotten about me? I was your best trademake before that symbol of yours."

Prince eyes widen in recognition, it was his cheek mole!
He twisted his face and saw the mole move accordingly. Then it spoke again....

littlemissG said:

"my name is percy.i made you prince!"a stunned prince clutched his pearls tight and said.....

Christopher said:

"Whoa! These made me having the pearls to go for my superstar dreams! That's what made me! THE PEARLS BABY!"

The mole was angered. It suddenly....

it suddenly did what every mole would do when angered in such a manner. It flew off his face and hurdled into the air, where it unfortunately landed on Bette Middler's ass.


"Oh lawd, " Prince thought to himself. I don't want Bette thinking I'm all up on her stuff, but I really need my mole back.


what to do. what to do.

Then Prince knew.
Prince, "Well, you haven't finished with your questions. Ask away."

Mole, "Why don't you feature me in photos anymore? You use to..."

Bette Middler, "OMG!! My ass is talking!"

Prince, "Your ass been talking to me for years woman!"

Bette blushes.

Prince, "Let me get down here where I can see better."

Prince drops to one knee in front of the mole....
[Edited 8/27/07 16:42pm]

littlemissG said:

he cant believe hes this close to such an ass.its like pudding on toast.prince fights the urge to smack that like akon.and continues to try and get the mole back with promises of new photoshoots and better lighting.suddenly little richard walks in.....

Little Richard, "Good Golly Miss Middler! You sho got a lot going on!"

The mole saw it chance to start again, and jumped on Little Richards face. Fortunate for Prince it couldn't adhere to Richards makeup, it was some drug store crap, not like Prince's high end cosmetics.

"Damn!" exclaimed the mole as it slid and Prince plucked it and put back where it belonged.

Bette Middler and Little Richard said....

"MMMMuhFF!"

Someone had thrown burlap sacks over them and carted them away. Prince would like to help, but he was in the middle of giving interviews. Plus fighting kidnappers might mess up his hair.

Prince press another button and on his view screen appeared....

A group of people.

Prince, "Who are you?"

"We are from the Prince.Org Politics and Religion forum and we have six questions for you."

Prince was sure if he liked the sound of that but said, "Fire away."

"Our first question.....
[Edited 8/28/07 22:58pm]

littlemissG said:

before the ppl from the p&r had a chance to talk crazy....little richard came back and started in on them

"HONEY...when i visit that forum i swear i walked into a halfway house! those people got no manners. they get so upset and angry....which leads to all kinds of chaos. i visited one thread...thank you honey(girl brings him some water),i visited this one thread about monkeys and before you know it,it turned into a thread on homosexualities so fast you'd think R-Kelly was in town the way they came unglued! and lastly i get menz stalkin me sendin me notes.one of the reasonz why i dont post photos.dont want peoples undressin me with their eyez,honey"


everyone stunned in slience prince tired to compose himself...the p&r posters heay breathing was enough to make him work up a black sweat even in his best suit...prince regained composure as little richard sipped tea...he then got back to the questions..."umm guyz? you still there?" they replied yes..and went on to ask....

"What are you views on sex before marriage?" The P&Rs asked barely able to stop drooling. "We listen to your new album and there are numberous references to unmarried sex. How do they fit into you Christian views?"

Prince sat bugged eyed for a moment and answered.....

if it involves a penis and my anus then it isn't really the kind of sex they're talking about in the bible, so I guess it's o.k.



Suddenly there was aloud knock at the door and Jamie Foxx appeared.

Jamie Foxx strolled in shook Prince's hand and said, "You're taking to long to get to my question so, I can in person."

Prince," Ok let's have them."

Jamie, (clears throat)" Here ya go brother I got a list.
Number One: Who's your agent?
Number Two:Can I borrow the Twinz tonight?
Number Three: Wanna be on my new Album?
Number Four: Wanna hear my new Prince joke?
Number Five: Would you consider doing a movie cameo? 'Cause I got some projects.
Number Six: If you ain't busy later and you wanna get creamy, wanna hook up? "

Prince settled back in his chair and said....

Prince sat back in his chair and said, " All your base are belong to us. "


"What the fuck?" Jamie said back.

Suddenly Beyonce appeared before the two of them staring at Jamie. "oooohhhh, you done done it now. Prince don't like no cursin'"

A dense, sucking, coldness filled the room, and the lights dimmed. The environment in the room started to feel absolutely sterile, as if it could not support life. All that was there was this cold, dark silence, and the stare on Prince's face. A menacing look, last scene when his hair dresser told him he didn't have enough hair on his head to the European fashion mullet so common with certain Euro rock stars at that time. It is probably in my best interest to inform you that his hair dresser did not live to see his next birthday (albeit he had to hide the fact that he even celebrated birthdays).

"I...I...." Jamie stutted, "I didn't mean to..."


Princes eyes flashed red, and from across the room you could see Jamie's head burst like a water mellon shot buy one of Ted Nugent's rifles. .....

because it was one of Ted Nugent's rifles. Ted had just blown Jamie Foxx to smitherins.
"Heeeeyah! New Jack That!" Ted exclaimed while reloading, continuing he said,"Prince I got a question or two for you. But you need to reaaaly think about your answers long and hard."

Ted leveled the rifle at Prince and asked.....

littlemissG said:

Ted "Is yer music better with long hair or short hair? I'm thinking it's time you grew yer shit out long again,son!"

Prince then replied...

Prince then replied, "Do U own Ur Masters?"




Ted Nuggent, wearing a curious look on his face, scratched his head and was about to reply when suddenly there was a flash of light and the room went black.



Minutes, hours, maybe even days seemed to pass in absolute darkness.


When finally, Prince woke up in what appeared to be a dingy little dungeon.

His arms and legs were both tied to what appeared to be a large wooden plank up against one of the dongeon walls, secured at his wrists and ankles.

He was completely naked, covered in a slimy film of greese that smelled like mayonaise, and there appeared to be a small metal pipe sticking out of his anus that hummed in various minor key notes whenever he had a bowel movement.


Across the room Ted sat completely naked, with his hands tied behind a small, rather sparten looking chair that he was held down to.


"How do I always end up in this situation?" Thought Prince.


Suddenly the cellar door openned and a stream of glaring light shown into the otherwise completely dark room. The light was split down the middle buy the figure of a man approaching the middle of the room, between Ted Nugent and Prince.

It was Howey Mandell, holding a stack of index cards.



"Good Evening, I'm Howie Mandel" Proclaimed the well dressed man, " And...."

Imago said:

"Welcome to Deal Or No Deal!" he enthusiastically proclaimed wearing nothing but a womens robe with his genitals tucked and enuff makeup to make himself into a second rate mariah. "now,gentlemen....the object of the game is i give u suticase and you gentlemen guess how much is in each case...guess right i undo a rope...guess wrong and i do you both with strap on's on?...deal or no deal?...." your advisers tonite will be

beyonce: prince! hey boo boo....umm im good at answering stuff.so im sure i can get you outta here!"

michael jackson: "haha....whos bad?!"

and last but not least.....

gary coleman: "i cant believe im doing this shit!...hey prince...hey ted"

round one...

Prince looked over the choices unsure if he wanted a lean or round one today.
"They're all pretty...25 ain't one of my primary numbers, but Prince Rain is 25yrs old plus love that curly hair! I'LL TAKE HER!!"

Howie, "Just the suitcase Prince, just the suitcase."

Beyounce, "I can carry the case down the stairs", said running and grabbing it away. She was have way down when she fell face down, jumped up and mouth the words of one of her songs mid lyric.

Prince, "Dej Vu!!"

Howie now Prince choose 6 cases for better or worse.

Prince took a deep breath, and suddenly....
[Edited 9/1/07 8:32am]

Christopher said:

second rate Mariah


and again


oh Christopher

littlemissG said:

...realized that he was only going to be getting some money and not any of those honeys holding the cash.

"But, Howie. I want one of the girls," cried Prince, while touching Howie's shoulder.

Howie freaks out and starts spraying his shoulder with anti-bacterial spray. "Don't you know you don't touch the host, fool", Howie yelled.

"Fool? Who you calling 'fool', you fake ass Mr. Clean?" laughed Prince. "Man, forget this joint. I can make waay more money on that new Drew Carey show anyhow. C'mon B, let's be out. I can't win any of the girls anyway." Prince looks back with big, sad puppy dog eyes at the 26 beauties with briefcases and sings "Future Baby Mama" to himself.

Prince pushes another button on his remote and.....

littlemissG said:

ahahaha!

Christopher said:

OMG!!!!!
[Edited 9/2/07 22:39pm]

estelle81 said:

ends up at the mall. him and beyonce buy some beach hats and big EMO sunglasses so they wont be noticed in disguise.whew...so far so good" sighed beyonce."B,you think you can take me to build a bear? ive never been and i want to pick something up for the twins and my new girlfriend britney spears." beyonce cuts prince a look of sheer WTFness?! prince pays no mind.

once inside build a bear prince chooses all purple bears for the girls.and they all read "future baby mama" on the shirts.and spoke the phrase "do U own U're masters,bitch?" oh prince...you think jay would like this one? its pink but ya know...that man loves him some pink honey! lol" laughed beyonce. " it will be wonderful for him,B. just make sure you mention if he owns his masters somewhere on that bear!" .... "oh umm okay,hun" replied beyonce.

whew boy...im hunnngryyy tho! lets go to the food court all that shoppin is makin me famished!

once at the food court they sat at a table next to a group of teens who kept staring like they knew them..so they moved to a more deserted spot. beyonce tells prince to relax and she'll get lunch.....prince fumbles with his IPOD while shes away.


"ok boo im back....i got you some chicken enchildas and extra salsa and a cajun salad for myself plus two lemonades from hot dog on a stick.... mmm mmm mmmm! it all looks so good boy!" suddenly prince looks at the food then beyonce the food...then beyonce... and says "chicken!? i dont eat meat " ...knowing she really fucked up..."awww SHITTT!" a terrifed beyonce quips...and