So then Patti LaBell shows up.

"Jello! Did somebody say Jello? Child I love me some jello!" Patti says

Prince dashes over to hug Patti.

"Why you ain't skating pretty lady?"

"Boy do you know how old I am? I'll break a hip!"

"Oh don't say break a hip!" Prince said rubbing his left hip, "But look over there there's a whole tub of jello for wrestling, and a fruit mold on the buffet table."

Mary J. and Mariah were busy taking off their skates in preparation to wrestle.

Patti ."Hmmm...I think I'll go for the wrestling."

"Patti Patti!", cried Prince, "Remember what happen the last time when you were wrestling that girl name? What's her name? Oh Yeah! It was..."

"....J. Lo."

Patti replies, "Jello! Did somebody say Jello? Child I love me some Jello!"

Prince pauses,
then gently pats Patti on the head & and says, "uhmn...maybe you should just sit down at the buffet table, take a pill & just watch, okay honey?".

Patti, "But what about the wrestling? Don't you want me to wrestle? Remember what the last time I wrestled that one girl? What was her name again.....?"

Prince, "Jennifer Lopez. You wrestled J. Lo."

Patti, "Jello! Did you say Jello? Child I love me some Jello!"

Prince sighs, turns away and....

Prince sighs, turns away, when suddenly Bubba Sparks shows up.

"Hoooowwwwddddayyyyy, yall" Bubba screams, "waaazzzzup!"

Prince, looking absolutely horrified at Bubba, whispered something at his body guard.

"Erm...", said Prince, "Why...ermmm.. why are you wearing a string bikini Bubba?"

"I wanna wrestle me a big 'ole pig!, woo hooo!, " Bubba shouts in a fit of laugter, his voice raspy from a night of drinking, "And yer gonna be my pig, pretty boy! woo hooo, .. DIRTY SOUTH!!!".

Prince said, "Hell no!, son you look like a tub of jello."

Patti interrupted, "Jello?! Did somebody say jello? Child I love me some Jello!"

Before Prince could tell Pattie to shut up, he found himself in the wrestling ring, stripped down to his underwear, with Bubba Sparks facing him right in the damned eyes!"

"Oh Lawd, " Prince said just under his breath, "This feels similar to the afterparties we through during the Under THe Cherry Moon days...."

Bubba squated down, in a Sumo Stance, and said...

Imago said:

LMMFAO!

Bubba Sparks says, “C’mon Boi—come N getter dun!!! Whooo hoooo!!!!”

“Oh hell no!, “Prince replies (he’s angry now—has his hands on his hips and he’s tapping one of his toes), “Folks don’t need to see this mess.”

“What folks didn’t need to see, “ Bubba replies, “ is Graffii Bridge, Bitch—that’s an hour and a half of my life I can never get back---Now c’mon bitch! Put your fists up!”


”Oh shit, “ Prince exclaimed nervously, as he put his fists up, “I ain’t been this worked up since Sax Fith Avenue had that half off sale.”

Suddenly Bubba smacked Prince upside his head, messing up his perm….

MESSING UP HIS PERM… (que psycho music)….


A stunned hushed silence ran through the room. The room glowed red. Prince’s eyes lit up like Beelzebub on crack rock after a party at Rick Jame’s place circa 1975. The ground began to tremble. Prince’s perms started to correct itself, but the damage had already been done. In the distance you could hear thunder.

“Motherfucker, “ Prince said slowly, calmly, but with extreme passion, “I’m about to smash yo ass beyond jello an…”

“Jello? Did somebody say Jello? Child I love Jello!” Patti interrupted.


Suddenly….

Beyonce jumps between Bubba and Prince. She's wearing the bikini from the cover of Sports Illustrated, and holding a pair of ninja swords.

Beyonce says....

littlemissG said:

Bubba gets a large boner, kinda like the one that Wycleff Jean got at the Grammy awards when Shakira was dancing at the grammy awards, and loudly blurts out, "I found you Miss New Booty!" She then is about swing the sword at Bubba when Prince intercedes and breaks out a pocket Piano and the New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures and starts breaking out a ballad about women tempting men into idolatry, Beyonce starts singing the song and getting into it but suddenly realizes that she is singing a song about how skanky she looks and that she just got put on blast for her revealing outfit and decides to cut Brother Prince's copy of the New World translation in half with her ninja swords and he proceeds to...

Illustrator said:

u r crazy!

Illustrator said:

/



lol at this whole page tho

karmatornado said:

throw copys of 1999 new master at her. all the while he doesnt see bubba sparks behind him suddenly bubba take him down WWF style and princes dark n lovely perm is fucked up! all the while....

Christopher said:

Whitney & Mariah have thrown on their rasslin' tights & rush the ring.

Mariah jumps onto the end of the squared circle & begins sinking into one her "emotional meltdowns".
The ref, suddenly distracted ( & maybe a bit titalated) by the diva's odd behavior, doesn't see Whitney jump into the ring & smash a steel chair over Bubba's head.
As quickly as she came in, Whit jumps off the ring, & Prince, taking advantage of the situation, applies his signature finishing move , the "GlamSlam" on Bubba & then quickly covers the big man for the three count.....

but Prince isn't going down like that!
He turns his head toward Bubba's ear and busts a note three octaves over high C!

"YEEOUCH!!!", screams Bubba.

"I use to do that on all my albums", comments Mariah

Bubba rolls off of Prince and sinks into the jello.

Patti Labell starts spooning jello off Bubba.
"This is sugar-free right? I got to watch my blood sugar. Where's my monitor?"

"Here it is Patti..." Prince picks up a pocket sized device, and to his horror discovers it's not a blood sugar monitor but....
[Edited 3/15/07 17:06pm]

... his mini symbol shaped dildo, covered in what appears to be a mixture of some kind of lubricant and maybe bacon bits?

Fauxie said:

"Oh Lord!" Prince says, "Rosie MCDonald and Wendy Williams are here!"

Just then...
[Edited 3/15/07 21:14pm]

littlemissG said:

just then larry graham walks in with tina "whats goin' on here baby brother?" asks a not too pleased larry. "LOL oowww you in trouble!" shouts tina graham while she waves some towels in the air.prince gets this look on his face kind of like when you parents come home and bust you having a house party or going thru there porno collection and he answers....

http://www.youtube.com/wa...oAYo-Xa-64

I Feel The Earth Move Under My Feet

Della Reese, as Vera, from Harlem Nights, skates over toward Larry and says:

Kiss My ENTIRE Ass!
[Edited 3/16/07 16:42pm]

mistermcgee said:

Larry "How do you feel the earth move under your feet in heels and an artificial leg,Baby Brother?"

Prince "If I still cussed,I'd say 'fuck u,Big Brother!' but instead I'll just ask u...what does this mini symbol shaped dildo lokking thing look like 2 u?"

Larry "Well,a mini symbol shaped dildo..."

Prince "That's what u c...what I c is a paper weight!"

Tina "That ain't no paper weight! You can't hold no paper down with no dick...unless it was MY MAN-Larry Graham's dick!"

Larry "Preach to him Baby Girl!"

Prince "U know,the only reason I even met u 2 was 2 get close 2 ur daughter Beyonce!"

Larry "What you talking 'bout Baby Brother? Don't you know who I am?"

Prince "Yeah,Matthew Knowles!"

Tina "I told you he ain't no good, baby!"

Larry "You know what this now means dontcha Baby Brother? I means..."

"You’re going to perform?"

Larry, "Yes."

Prince shifting feet, "Well.... Look over there!" Prince points east toward the pavilion, and skates west to the outdoor course.

The Old Dude will never catch me on skates. Prince chuckles.

Prince takes the turn fast, blowing by other skaters like a blur when he sees a figure cruising along wearing a big white hat.

"Shelby!!" Prince calls to his newest protege as he comes to a stop.

"Hey P! Great party! You know I haven't skated in years but I still got the moves watch!"

Shelby whips into a fast spin, then goes down low alternating legs, does some dance moves, and starts crisscrossing backwards. Shelby gives Prince a smile, and in one hop is on top of the low wall separating the course from the valley below. Prince is so impress with her skating he doesn't realize the danger until, SHELBY IS GONE! Prince runs to the wall and sees nothing except her big white hat caught on tree branch on the other side!

"Prince uses his wireless mike, "HELP, HELP, HELP!!!"

A crowd gathers instantly. Prince nearly tries his best to explain what happen, and security hurries around the parameter, and into the valley below. Prince hears a mutter in the crowd. First Tamar, now Shelby, it says.

Prince, "Hey! I didn't do anything to Shelby! I know you think I sometimes dump proteges like non-renewable plastics or I just might make a mistake or two planning their career. People say I may be just a TAD too controlling. A few times, I’ve been accused of just losing interest in protege’s projects. I might even be dumb enough to marry a protege! BUT I NEVER EVER EVER BUMPED ONE OFF!!”

Prince feels a hand touch his shoulder, its....

littlemissG said:

Joe Clark

who grabs prince by the collar and yells



"Ya smoke crack dontcha!?"





"answer me boy!"



all the while the THIS lady
from the PTA meeting followed joe to princes function...shes still mad.



[Edited 3/17/07 1:26am]

Prince: Aw, let the loud mouth wench talk! Say whatcha gotta say, ol' Ms. Negativity.

Loud Mouth Wench: I'm here on behalf of the children and their education. Security is of the utmost importance but so is their safety. We can't lock and chain the doors to the Prince School of Funk and the Arts Roller Rink. What if there's a fire? Joe Clark has put our children in jeopardy.....

Prince: Shut up already! Damn! The crowd boos the Loud Mouth Wench.

Housequake plays and the crowd begins to skate like a stampeding herd of wildebeasts, some of them knockin' the Loud Mouth Wench down. Her head wrap falls off, hair all over the place, lookin' like a black Rod Stewart ghetto heffa.

Della Reese, as Vera from Harlem Nights, skates up to her and says:

Kiss My ENTIRE Ass!

The Loud Mouth Wench crawls off the skate rink floor to a table and orders a long island iced tea, a rum and coke, a screwdriver, a margarita and 2 BudLites.
She guzzles them down and sits there all drunk, scratchin' her dandruff.

The skating party heats up.....

A Jello stained Mary J. Blige has a wireless mike and sings: We don't need any hateration in this dancery

Prince joins in: No Haters, No Haters!

Prince's cell rings.

"Hello" Prince answers panting slightly

"Prince this is....

"...Fred West. You may not know me, but I'm-"

"Oh, I know who you are Fred - don't fret; I'm a big fan."

"I see. Then you understand my predicament?"

"Yes."

"Well, Prince, you're the only one out there who can help me. In order to be free, you must kill Trent Reznor."

Prince was stunned.

Spookymuffin said:

Prince "U want him 2 sing with me on Little Red Corvette:The New Master?"

Fred "No fool! Be quiet! I'm thinking...I want u 2 duet with him on Jughead:The New Master!"

Prince "Y Jughead?"

Fred "Because Sitruk7 posted a thread about which do you prefer-Jughead or the Arms of Orion!I prefer Jughead!"

Prince "Man,that Sitruk7 comes up with some good ass threads!"

Fred "Don't he though?"

Prince "He sure does!Hey,has he ever had an apreciation thread yet?"

Both men laugh at the audacity of such a ridiculous question before they were interrupted by...

Sitruk7!

Prince giving his pal a brother hug, "Hey man you made it to the party! I got a friend of yours on the phone here."

Sitruk7 takes the phone, and says....

Spookymuffin said:

Prince: Dont chu kno Ima Jw fool? J Siiiide!!!

Fred: U must kill him Prince.

Prince: Oh like I killed Prince to get out of my recording contract?

Fred: Uhhh okayyy ..yea.

Prince:Yeah I got it! ima sing him over to alphabet street, then were gonna make a left turn down by the holy river.

Fred: Uhhhhh....prince?

Prince: Yeah, Then were gonna swim to lake minnetonka. I'll purify him then he'll die from being in sub zero water. Good plan huh?

Fred: Well..not exactly. See I was thinkin..

Prince: why You selfish sonofabiscuiteater! We coulda been partners!

Fred: Im sorry my little purple friend but I gotta confess..U dont really have to kill Trent Reznor..

Prince: *shocked* Do u lie? Thats a SIN!

Trent: Yes I know...I lied primarly because i got into a car accident on the way here and I got jello up my ass but Listen... I'm not really Fred West I am...

Trent: Yes I know...I lied primarly because i got into a car accident on the way here and I got jello up my ass but Listen... I'm not really Fred West I am... Trent Razor. Listen Prince I'm on the run from the Pussycat Dolls, they're all over me, they want my puppies, my body and my soul! Can you help?

Prince replies...

littlemissG said:

Gimme all them puppies and a tub of Vaseline. Oh, and 18 minutes.

To which Trent replies, " No. I've already promised the puppies to Casey Spooler. However, if you like one of the PussyCats...that can be arranged."

Prince considers this for a moment.

"I'll throw in some honey and a Victoria's Secret Gift Card to sweeten the deal" Trent added.

Prince replies....

Prince replies: Are there really angels?

The ghost of Moms Mabley appears.

Now now now, baby, you don't need no tub of vaseline. What you need is a good wash, rinse, conditioner, and some o' my special hair moisturizer. I'll work it in real good and comb and brush it for you so you be lookin' good at your next public appearance. Sit down in this chair over here, take your skates off and put my slippers on them feets. Relax! Moms gonna fix your do up real good.
This skatin' party ain't over.

Prince: But what about your old man? The one that was so old and dried up he could have sat on a straw.

Moms: There ain't nothin' an ol' man can do but bring me a message from a young one. http://www.youtube.com/re...mom+mabley" target="_blank"> http://www.youtube.com/re...mom+mabley


Prince: Well, how you gonna wash my hair?

Moms: I got me a nice warm bucket o' water here for the wash and two more for the rinse. You know, baby, you thought Aura was your angel but I been with you all along. I take my teeth out and don't nobody mess with you.
[Edited 3/18/07 3:21am]
[Edited 3/19/07 7:29am]

just then prince gets a phone call that hes to sub for tyra banks on her talk show and americas next top model while tyra goes on vacation. he'll be co-hosting with "Michael jackson" they will both dish the dirt with the girls on the tyra show and rate the models and give then honest advice.

phone rings.....

Hello? says a tired prince who is calling?

Its michael jackson,looks like we'll be working together princey are you still married to wendy&lisa? i hope they come i love them!

prince: .....

lol omg..we can perform that duet of BAD ive been dreaming of since the late 80's ...remember you thought it was too gay and i was like "prince thinks somethings too GAY!? hahaha" anyways do you mind if i bring a few animals on set? heehe


prince: .....


anyways princey ill see you tomorrow. i need to go wash this noxema off bye!

ffwwdddd to the next day

prince and MJ are at the tyra tv studio getting ready prince in the right wing mj in the left and its a mad house in there.....they have 20mins to showtime Mj shows up at prince dressing room hey....