The Rio in Vegas.

littlemissG said:

He struts into the huge kitchen facilities and says to the Golden Harp Lady,

Play 4 me!!!!!

First, she scrawls slave on her cheek then proceeds to crank out some Andreas Vollenveider tunes.

Prince: I like it, I like it!!!!!

Prince dons an apron and gets to work on his bean pie.

"I need a bit of cinnamon, vegetable oil, flour...." Prince spoke to himself as he gathered the ingredients.

TV camera burst into through the kitchen doors pointing directly at Prince.

"Prince I challenge you to a cook off!!" said.....

I AM THE IRON CHEF OF FUNK, R&B, SOUL, ROCK, POP, U name it!

2day's ingredient to cook with is: Cinnamon Guitar Rifts

You have one hour to complete your dishes.

Prince already has a head start on his bean pie anyway, so he gonna win, but there's smoke then lights and sounds.
Granny stands there as one of his challengers with her Mississippi Sweet Potato Pie.
Another challenger is:

...JT makin a poopy encrusted danish thing...

Prince thinks to himself: That's got to be loaded with trans fats!

He walks across the kitchen and Big Bertha, the head cook, holluz:

You want fries with that shake, baby?

Prince says:

Prince "I...just...love,Big Ol' Soul Sista's.When they wear red,Big Ol' Soul Sista'a.Gimme some of that...wait a minute,girl.The big ol' sista's I like r nuns.Can u relate?"

Big Bertha replied...

No, no I can't. I here to judge the entries. What do I smell?

Prince looked and saw....

littlemissG said:

Whitney.....



on the phone mad cuz her cell phone fell in the toilet. she replied to princes comment "that woulda be my speical lasanga now SHHHH im talkin to miss cleo shes tellin me about man...! "how does he look tho? is he as fynne as jerome in under the cherry moon?"


.....prince couldnt wait to try a peice so he sat down somwherez and....

....was about to take a bite of the meal, until he realizes that Whitney had made it. He starts laughing to himself, because as he is staring at this dish in front of him, all he can think about is when Whitney said, "Crack is wack. Crack is cheap", and then it dawns on him that Whitney really isn't the one to be accepting food from. The food isn't smelling to appetizing and then, he wonders if Whitney's cooking was the reason that Bobby always seemed to end up in jail. After thinking about it, Prince realizes that he will pass on Whitney's Lasagna, because even he knows that no one is drug-free after only one week of rehab. So, he looks at Whitney, who is still getting advice from Miss Cleo, and says...

Hang Up that phone woman! That call's 1.99 per minute!!

Prince grabs the reciever from Whitney who grabs his hair and tugs hard saying...

"KISS MA ASS"

Prince replies "kiss my ass ya crack head."

CherrieMoonKisses said:

cuz i know wut classic whitney line yer talkin' 'bout.

Suddenly Prince gets inspiration for a song:

Drugs and thugs in the music business
Drugs and thugs and ho's
Everybody lookin 4 a record deal
And wind up bein' po'
Cause the big suits own yo' masters
On stage you're a famous slave
Everybody lookin' 4 a record deal
It's time 2 change your name

Owwahhhh!

Whitney: Ooooh, I like that Prince. It's a hit. Can I borrow some money? I need some pharmaceuticals.

mistermcgee said:

Prince: Whitney, you come in with the backups on the 1, not the 2,3 or 4. Not the 1 and a half. ON THE ONE! Uuuuuh!

Tape rolls. Whitney tries it again.

Prince: (thinks to himself-rhythmless nation)

Don't Medical Mutual pay for your prescriptions, girl?

Whitney: Well, Bobby took my card and Mr. Wal-Mart told me I had to have it to get my stash, I mean my one month supply.

Prince: Chaka, could you do these vocals for me?

Chaka: I'm every woman, it's all in me.....

Prince: NO NO NO! That ain't the song.

Whitney: I'm every woman, it's all in me.....

Prince: NO NO NO!.....get Beyonce in here.

Beyonce: I need a soldier...

Prince: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

YOU'RE ALL FIRED! Get Jimmy and Terry in here to do these backups falsetto.

Prince hears a finger snap and Eryka Badu appears in the studio. She has on a blue head wrap piled as high as Marge Simpson's hair.

Prince rolls the tape and the sista nails the vocals. She snaps her fingers again and disappears.

Prince has his engineer do 3 things before he lays down his lead vocal and ad libs. They are:

1.
2.
3.

1. Get him a piping hot cup of ginger tea and a piece of bean pie.
2. Pratice catching his guitar when he throws it.
3. Set the board and LEAVE!

Alone, Prince opens a secret compartment in the heel of his shoe and takes out a key. He touches a wall panel that slides open to reveal....

...a computer screen with a video continuously looping. It's of Prince's true muse and superhero- Pooty Tang!

Wa dah tah my daymeez.

I'm a sign yo' name on the panty sty!

Across the room is an entire wall of shelves filled with 500 boxes of Capn'Crunch. Vaccuum packed especially for Prince so they have a longer shelf life than those in any ol' "growshree stow"!

Ahhh, this is the life, Prince sighs, as he tears into a box of cereal. The only thing missin' is a prize like in a box of Cracker Jacks and a fine young womanly hotty to take care of my baser needs. He looks in his little purple book of hotties, as he kicks off his heels(to reveal a hole in his thick and thin sock on his left foot) to find a cell phone number and calls.....

Anna Fantastic who says she cant come over cause she's too busy on Myspace so Prince then decides to call...

Morris Day

Morris answers the phone and says...

...Prince, man, I'm here at home listenin' to James Brown; in my drawz, doin' the splits in my livin' room. Whatchoo want?

Prince sings into the phone: Boy is lonely on a pretty hot summer's night!

Morris: Don't make me piss in ya plant again! He gives Prince a telephone number to call. He hangs up.

Prince calls the number. It rings twice.

Voice: Hello

Prince: Hello

Voice: Who are you?

Prince: Um, er, this is Prince

Voice: This is crazy. I'm Brian Fellow. You wanna come on my show?

Prince says.....

mistermcgee said:

hell no! but dont hang up cause i just switched to vonage and i can talk all i want.!

suddenly brianfellow hung up! annoyed prince dialed up morris again to give him a peice of his mind.but all he got was morris' voicemail and prince hates being recorded unless he approves it so he hung up. then whitney,chaka,and beyonce walk in and invite prince to go get facials and eucalyptus wraps.

prince never turns down some free stuff so he agreed! as they got in whitneys hummer and prince hands whitney a cd and says here play this its....

Christopher said:

The instrumental to "Titanic". "How I love this album." says Prince. Beyonce looks at Prince with a dazed and confused expression. "How am I supposed to sing along to this?", she askes. "You don't sing along to instrumental. Which is why I put this on. I won't listen to you oversing while I'm in the same car as yo ass," replies Prince. "I don't oversing," yells Beyonce, using that neck roll from the "Listen" video, no, not the first video, the second one. "You do to oversing. And you also hog the microphone. Jay-Z told me that you oversing in the car all the time. He also said that right before you start, you say something like, 'I can sing better than that bitch. I have Grammys to prove it." "Stop fighting or I'll separate the two of you," says Chaka, who is driving because, I've never seen Beyonce drive herself anywhere and, really who's crazy enough to get into a car that Whitney is driving.

They all arrive at the salon and exit the car. They all decide to start off with pedicures. As they are soaking their feet, they see Britney Spears come in. She grabs a razor and starts shearing herself. "Dammit, now everyone is going to know we're here," says Chaka. "Damn, there's a news crew outside," says Prince. "Let's hope she doesn't notice us and want to come over and talk," says Beyonce. "Damn, that must be some good shit she's on," replies Whitney. Chaka, Prince, and Beyonce look at Whitney like "I mean, drugs are bad. Drugs are very, very bad. Ewww, yucky drugs," responds Whitney. "Damn, she saw us and she's coming over here," says Beyonce. Britney skips over to them with strands of sheared hair still falling from her sweatshirt. "Hey ya'll," yodels Britney. "Ugh, hey," they all reply. "What do ya'll think of my new look," she asks, to which they each reply.....

LOL wtf?! whitney is the firs to reply and goes over and touches britneys head and proceeds to take cameraphone pics and poses with it. britney very uncomfortable looks to beyonce who pretends to be asleep prince and chaka both agree its time she spent a few months at Paisley Park to get cleaned up...

When they get Whitney to Paisley Park they get her to sign some papers. She's so crunked up she don't know what she's signin'. After all, it's gotta look like she willingly went there to recover. No kidnapping involved here.
Whitney wakes up the next day locked in a room and she starts to convulse and heave from withdrawal. She 's into a trash can and music starts to come out of speakers in the ceiling and walls. She hears Extraordinary and Adore and they seem to ease her symptoms. When the two songs end Whitney's head starts to like Regan's in the Excorcist. She feels herself getting again, then more music is piped into her room. She hears.....

... a beautiful song but can't find where it's coming from. It's a sound that make her feel like a little child again, sweet and surrouded by all her family. There's a voice calling "Whitney... " and she hears a song dedicated to her about pride and lost paradise, angels and tears, Love and redemption. She starts to cry and pray, when Prince enters the room and says : "we all have a fairy tale, you know", while sipping coffee...

typo edit
[Edited 2/19/07 12:45pm]

Prince: Whitney, I know you've been waiting to exhale.

Whitney exhales very forcefully and her drug dependency is gone.

Prince: You're free to go home now.

Whitney thanks Prince as she leaves Paisley Park. He gives her a box of Jiffy Cornbread to take with her cause she's "hongry" after all that writhin'.

Whitney walks out of Paisley Park singin' an Anthony Hamilton song:

Cornbread, fish and collard greens. I got whatcha need, if ya wan't it...if ya wan't it.....

Prince watches her leave and there's a tear falling from his eye