...they have 20mins to showtime Mj shows up at prince dressing room hey....

Hi. I uh heard it through the grapevine you got a new tune written by a moonwalker who wants to do a duet with you. You hear it?

Prince is staring at himself in the mirror with lascivious eyes. He holds up a cone clown dracula puppet and does a ventriloquist voice for it.

Puppet: Why should he do your music? He's been gettin along just fine without it. Next thing you know you'll be wantin to use his motorcycle or mascara.

MJ: Wow, alright. You think about this. I'm 'a be totally honest with you. I think you're being full of shitake mushrooms. Everytime I give you a song you think it's too Quincy. You say you're gonna re-write the lyrics and change some of the arrangement but you never do. You think I'm doin' something behind your back. You're just being paranoid as usual.

Puppet: Michael!

MJ: Shut up, puppet! Please. Cones went out with Madonna. You should know by now I wouldn't hurt you. You should know by now that I wouldn't put a dark cloud over your cabbage head. It's just to make you feel Berry Goody. You felt that way before. Remember?

Prince: You talkin' to the puppet or me? The nominee for best actress is...

MJ: You really know how to hurt people. Doesn't that make you feel like shitake mushrooms? I'm so tired of this. I'm really tired of it. You can take your mushroooms and saute them with Rachel Ray for a 30 minute meal.

MJ moonwalks sideways out of Prince's dressing room.

Prince stares wantonly at himself in the mirror again with his puppet.

Puppet: You don't need him or his stupid music. All you need is me.....
Man, I don't know. Life's a Billy Jack Bitch.

Prince listens to MJ's demo. It's kinda cool but somethin's missin'....
The log drums, congas, and hiccups make him wanna use the bathroom though.

Prince thinks to himself: Is this some kinda environmental record?

Prince looks up the show' producer is standing next to him.

"Hello, I just want to go over the guest list and adgenda with you."

"Cool"

"The today's theme is "What Women Really Want From Men."

"Good! I'm an expert on that."

"So I've heard. Your guests will be....
(sp) edit.
[Edited 3/19/07 7:33am]

littlemissG said:

to find out what todays woman needs in order to be happy. also you and MJ will go undercover as two hot young blonde girls with big boobs. and you will work at hooters for the day so you can feel what its like to be eye candy for perverted men. if they grope or grab you smile and act like you like it mmkay?

i have given mj his outfit already....here is yours prince! you will wear these outfits later on for the hooter segment. for now get ready cause 5mins to show time.....



::::prince and mj stand near the stage entrance...::::


prince: whoa mj wtf you wearing!?

mj: wut? just my weekend clothes i got a ton of these -newjack general suits- and metal knee guards w/ boots. this particular one i wore to beyonces album release party

prince:you sure you didnt steal it from a costume shop?

mj: dont hate.....

mj: and i wouldnt be talking. you got on more makeup than connie chung and your high heels are bigger than most hookers on sunset blvd.

prince: ....thinking to himself "OH NO YOU DID'ANT!"

mj: lookin back at him like "YES I DID...HATED IT!

before either has a chance to get all RING THE ALARM!!@!!@! on eachother the shows music starts playing and they are to go out on stage....and not a moment sooner than both find themselfs on tyra stage. the audience going wild

prince and mj take turns reading the quecards hey yall....im prince. and im michael jackson HEE HEE!

prince:





FFWD to the Hooters undercover segment....prince and mj both dressed up and transformed into hot young blondes with perky nipples...

Manager: I'm Vera, your madame, er um manager. Unlike Wal-mart, you ain't associates. Here at Hooters we drop the oters from Hooters and you be HO'S. Hey, Benny, bring me that container of orange juice.

Benny brings her the container. Vera goes to pour some OJ out into a glass and only an oz. comes out.

Vera: Benny this don't make no sense. You put it back in the fridge with hardly nothin left in it. I get my mouth all ready for some orange juice and ain't nothin' left but a swallow in the container.

Benny: Well, swallow it and shut up!

Vera: You can just kiss my ass, Benny, ya blind mother fucker!

Benny: Fat Bitch!

Prince is appalled at the language and stares ahead thinking about his Watchtower lessons.

Vera: You might make $200 a night here if you're good. I want you out there on the floor, throwin' them casaba melons up in the air and makin' sunshine for the customers. I'm an honest Ho and I want all my Ho's to be honest.

MJ: Excuse me, Vera, but I thought this was about what women really want from men.

Vera: You can just kiss my ass. You here so you can feel what its like to be eye candy for perverted men. If they grope or grab you smile and act like you like it mmkay?

Prince: I don't know whether I can do this or not. The Bible says.....

Vera: You can just kiss my ass. With them heels you oughta make $275, or I can make you a HOstess instead of a waitress and ya won't make jack shit except what this cheap raggedy owner named Sugar pays you. Now whatchoo want?

Prince stares ahead in silence

Vera: MJ, you in section A with Vernita. Prince, you in section B with Famtasia. They both got the same number of tables and booths. Vernita and Famtasia will be trainin' you. Now get on out there. I wanna see some asses wigglin' and hooters hootin'.

Prince approaches a table to a couple of old men with their faces buried in their menus.

Old Man, "Is there a special today?"

Prince, "Every thing is special if you believe it is, then it's true."

2nd Old Man, "How special is the pulled pork sandwich?"

Prince, "Pork is unclean, the bible states don't eat of ...."

Old Man now staring at Prince, "Listen here! Save the bible lesson for church and gets us two Bud Lights!"

Prince sighing, "Yes, coming up.", and walks away.

2nd Old man, " That girl needs to shave, and get her some implants."

Old man, "Yeah, but she sure got a pair of buns."

Meanwhile Michael is ....
[Edited 3/19/07 19:20pm]

Meanwhile Michael is busy with a table of 3 middle aged men.

1st man: Ahh, when you're hot you're hot it really sets me off to a full alarm child, yes it does.

MJ: Yeah, it is really hot in here tonight. Have you gentlemen decided what you'd like to order?

2nd man: Bring us 3 Budlites and I want a chili bowl and some curly fries for now.

MJ: Don't stop til you get enough!

The 2nd man stares at Michael up and down and asks: Hey you look familiar. Haven't I seen you somewhere before? What's your name again?

MJ: Um, I'm Michelle, as he looks nervously at Vernita.

3rd man: Gimme a More Than a Mouthful Burger and Fries. Put cheese and onions, lettuce, tomato, pickles, mayo, catsup and mustard on it.

1st man: I'll have Fish and Chips, extra tartar sauce.

Michael takes their menus and heads to the cook with the orders.

2nd man: Man, I swear I seen her before somewhere.

3rd man: Kinda look like Diana Ross but with flatter titties.

They laugh.

1st man: She need to get some stuff injected into them lips too. I like full juicy lips for what I need her to do.

2nd man: I can't tell if she black or white.

They laugh belly laughs, hoopin and hollerin', smackin' their knees, and talkin' more jive.
[Edited 3/20/07 2:15am]

And they all lived happily ever after.























































Da end.

Prince's end.
He was so inspired by the nice comment of his customers, that he bought back the pants the served him so well.

YOU KNOW THE ONES!!

LACY!

RACY!

ASS BARE!

SAY HELLO TO THE ROUND AND HIGH YELLOW!




The next day.....

Illustrator said:

littlemissG said:

this lady was still mad



"Prince,let me tell you something miss thing...."

"If you had any sense about matching patterns I would give you a job! But then again, you don't know how to talk to people do you? Little Miss Negative aren't we? You ain't getting any huh? Are you?"

"No" she answers quietly, "I gone without it longer than George Clinton"

Prince softens and says, "Well atl east you smell better. Tell you what I'll do..
[Edited 3/21/07 19:18pm]

littlemissG said:

ill take you to paisley park and you can raid my vault of old vanity/apollonia 6 outfits.but first you'll need to pruify yourself in the waters of the LA river. yeh i know says prince. but aint no damn lakes in LA!...

she agrees and also agrees to help prince bust tables at hooters.

Prince survives his day at Hooters and true to his word, let's Miss Thang have her pick of Vanity's old clothes....Let's just say the result is less that fitting. The twenty plus year old lace is fraying, and the fit is regrettable.

Miss Thang leaves Prince's house happy, but is arrested for solicitation in less than twenty minutes. Prince, quite unaware of her faith, is busy fixing a healthy dinner for himself and Shelby.

Shelby is bandaged and bruised from her little skating accident at the 3121 Party, but is in good spirits.

"Prince," Shelby says as she washes the lettuce, "Let's invite some more folks over for dinner."

Prince stiring a large pot, "Mmmkay. Who?"

Shelby suggests....

Johnny Depp. He is one of her favorite actors.

"Cool! Edward Scissorhands can chop that lettuce., Who else?"

Shelby peeled a cucumber, and said....

Shelby "What about Christina Aguilera? I heard she fucks for tracks!"

Prince "Bet!"

Shelby...

"Lets go cow tippin!"

Prince says, "whats cow tippin ?"