Some people think Prince shouldn't have married Mani, but if it makes him happy, then we should be happy for him.

But when is the right time to marry, what does being married mean to you?

I am not married, but am starting to think about it. what are your views?

I'm not married either,but I am starting to think about it alot.I wanna be married sometime in the next 5 years.I'm ready to settle down.

dykie2000 said:

I'm married and I think it's great. I'm also a Daddy which is just the best thing in the world. I don't really think there is a right time - as long as it feels right to the two of you then you should go for it.

Scotty2funky said:

I am a Daddy too, but I am no longer with his mother. Will/should being married to another be the right thing? I love the person I am with but I love my son more.

-Peace and Gett wild

Never! Listen to Prince's father in Purple Rain. Never Get Married. Prince is not married what a fool I've been he doesn't like formality. Remember Mayte. So Prince you do fool around Don't you? You Horny Toad you. Now I am happy again. Call me a Wanton Woman you Beast. King Kong ! Stud Muffin personified. What a jerk I was. These women couldn't get you to stop cheating could they. Haha! That is why the break-ups not cause of Abuse like these dildo fans think. Oh you Sly Wicked man. You Sexy Mother You. You were with so many and they couldn't pin you down. Not Shelia, not Apples, Not Kim, Not Susanna, Not Carmen, Not even Mayte could hold you. So now they try to make you jealous well please Prince doesn't need you women. Haha! Prince can and will do whatever he wants. He's the boss and he runs the show. I'm happy about that and now I know it was always Prince being the Man and that's so cool. Yeah Prince I wouldn't want it any other way. Mani stay the good girl. I'll play the floozy for him any day. My faith is back. Thank you God. Thank you Prince.

Vagina said:

I'm totally, like, in shock again.

Vagina, you're a great. big, fat pussy! Shut the fuck up, you're an idiot! You don't even know how to communicate, so get off the board you twat!

Ok, now back to the question: I think marriage is a big crock of s--t. People get married for the wrong reasons--to feel secure, to avoid loneliness, because they think the other person is going to "make" them happy. In most marriages, someone ends up cheating at least once and half of all marriages end in divorce. People have this unrealistic, romantic idea of what marriage will be, and they think they're supposed to be blissfully happy at all times, so when hard times come along they don't want to put in the work.

When you meet the right one you will know. I left it quite late and got married at the age of 31. Have to say that it was one of the best things ever. What was really great was the fact that we didn't live together first so there was and still is the great excitement of just being together all the time. The best thing to come out of it though is our twins [sorry orgers but you KNOW how much i always mention them!] i can truly say that they are the result of our love for each other and the three of them have made my life complete and are my motivation in everything i do.

LIVE4LOVE.

AnotherLoverHoleinYoHead said:

See,this is the reason why it's taking me forever to get married.I hear comments like these from my friends and family members who were once married and are now divorced.Maybe I'll just ask my girlfriend to live with me instead...lol...

Marriage is just a piece of paper that tie's two together and for legality reasons in case of divorce. You know when you are married, you feel it in ur heart! So to avoid divorce dont get married.

DavidEye said:

Well, I"m not saying some people can't do it--I'm just saying that if you decide to do it, you can't think it's gonna be some kind of fairytale where you're ecstatically happy everyday, and your partner is there to make you happy. It's a lot of work and a lot of give and take. YOu have to be willing to put that relationship and children first, before anything else, as well as deal with boredom and sometimes downright disgust when you look your partner.

AnotherLoverHoleinYoHead said:

"Boredom" and "downright disgust",huh? I guess I won't be tying the knot anytime soon

DavidEye said:

Do both! I have lived with my fiancee since 1998. We got engaged in 2000. Getting married in 2003. We have our disagreements, doubts, moments when we can't stand to be around each other but these form about 1% of the time. 99% of my life is spent with someone who is my best friend, soul mate, shoulder to cry on, and buddy to have a laugh with. When the time is right you will know but I would always recommend living with someone first (if your belief system allows it that is!).

DavidEye said:

I don't think marriage creates those kinds of feelings, though, I think any 2 people who spend a lot of time together are going to feel that way eventually. But if there's substance in the relationship there between the two, if it's about more than just the superficial, they can get through it. They just have to be realistic and determined they want each other for life, through the good and the shitty!

By the way, I speak as if I'm an "authority", as if I'm married myself. But I'm not. I'm a social worker and friend to many couples, though, so I"ve heard it all professionally as well as personally... Didn't want you to think I'm one of those bitter divorcees!

Speaking of marriage,I just heard on the news that "J-Ro" just got got married again.I am referring to Julia Roberts.I call her "J-Ro" because she is very indecisive about whom she should be with (that's why Benjamin Bratt gave her the boot).She has alot in common with "Ms.Indecisive" J-Lo:)

AnotherLoverHoleinYoHead said:

Feeling boredom and disgust with your partner is not a good sign. If you've been with someone for so long that you know everything about them and can predict what they will do or say, I would say that your relationship has reached the "comfort" level. If you feel "comfort" with your partner, then you are in a relationship where there is love and acceptance.

If you feel "boredom" with your partner, then you are in a relationship where one partner is always trying to keep the other one entertained. This can be one of the most difficult kinds of relationships. When one person who is constantly tap dancing and doing everything they can to try to keep the other person interested in them, they are in a relationship that is going to fail as soon as they stop tap dancing.

Also, if you feel "digust" when looking at your partner, the relationship is in trouble.

If your partner is depressed, ill, throwing up, and having a hard time, are you going to look at your Beloved with disgust and make them fend for themselves when they are at their weakest and lowest?

A loving partner is going to get down there on the floor with them, do their best to pick their loved one up and clean them up, tend to their needs and nurture them in their time of need.

NikkiDarling said:

Should married partners feel boredom or disgust? No. DO they sometimes? Yes! People get sick, have bad breath, stink up the bathroom, get bags under their eyes, grow old and wrinkly and saggy and fat. If you love someone, you'll see it, perhaps feel disgust or boredom, but know there's more positive than negative to keep it together. Those who get married for the wrong reasons--those who expect perfection and fun times--will soon start looking elsewhere.

AnotherLoverHoleinYoHead said:

There you go again - describing yourself just because you think that you'll be the perfect match for me!

Truth is, I've found me a sick, halitosis-ridden, baggy-eyed, bathroom-stinking, fat, wrinkly, saggy old partner ... and I love her. OK ... she has her faults too - sometimes she wears black clothes and grey footwear. But I still love her.

(Ah well .. we can all fantasise).

AnotherLoverHoleinYoHead said:

Easy, tiger, idiot has three syllables - you want Vagina to get the message.

langebleu said:

Well, good for you! Apparently, I am intrinsically unloveable, so no such luck for me. (Which, actually, is just fine since I don't believe in love anyway!)

AnotherLoverHoleinYoHead said:

a. You know you are loveable.
b. Sure you believe in love ... trouble is that most people believe in a love that is some 'feeling' that they experience for a week or a month or a year. For them it's something passive that happens to you, you 'fall into' it or 'out of' it. I suspect that you love people every day, AnotherL. You love them by giving your time and support and space and respect and much more. I'm sure you believe in it.
[This message was edited Fri Jul 5 9:21:39 PDT 2002 by langebleu]

langebleu said:

Let me correct that: I don't believe in romantic love between men and women--it doesn't truly exist, other than in the form you attribute to "most people". See, I think that statement should read "ALL people"...

AnotherLoverHoleinYoHead said:

damn - we agree again. (Must dig out my old copy of Kate Millet).

Have a good weekend.

(BTW this is outrageously close to a General Discussion thread. Must link it back to Prince somehow to give it some relevance)

I beleive in marriage, i think that right age to marry is thirty something.

Let me correct that: I don't believe in romantic love between men and women--it doesn't truly exist, other than in the form you attribute to "most people". See, I think that statement should read "ALL people"... [/quote]

By "romantic love" do you mean that people are ultimately selfish? that men and women are just projecting an image of themselves on to that person, and feeding their own ego and needs? I think the only unconditional love exists between your family.

Guys should NEVER marry before late 20s.
You need to see what QUALITY of women you can
attract as you enter your highest income-earning years.
On the other hand, in you're stuck in a dead-end job with
no career potential and little to no ambition, you might as
well use your charm to get a hi-income earning babe.

PFunkjazz said:

what makes you think a high income earning babe would want a dead beat?

When's the right time to marry??...

When you've connected beautifully with someone on a variety of levels and in a variety of ways...romantically, sexually, physically, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually...when there's a true loving and respectful friendship at the core of what you share together...when you both have similar goals and views in the most important areas of life...when you still feel you're an individual and independent person while with them, yet often feel a little incomplete when you're not with them...when just the look of their eyes or their smile causes something inside you to tingle...then you know you've met someone you can be happily married to...

Be with them for several years first...have a relationship together outside of a marriage for 3-5 years, especially if you're in your 20's...see how things grow, things change...there are often sizeable changes we each make individually in our 20's that can't be predicted...the person you are at 28 is often not the same person you were at 23...see how your relationship handles these natural occurances in yourself and in your mate...see if you're still the same compatable people afterwards...

After all that, if you feel this person is who you want to start and build a life with...then it would be the right time to marry...

My .02 anyway...

In sociology, I learned the later in life you get married, the less likely you are to divorce. There's been a slight decline in the divorce rate since the 80s, as I recall, now that the Baby Boomer generation has made it out of the "divorce age."

At any rate, I don't believe I'll ever get married myself. True, my parents never divorced, we married 23 years when my mother died. But look at marriage...A big "shindig" where you get together with people you don't know, and all you get out of it lower car insurance, and a piece of paper saying you did it...Or a new last name. Why not just "live in sin?" Not as much hassle when you get tired of it.

People don't even marry for the right reasons. My brother, for instance, has been living with a woman, Chandra, for almost 2 years now. They were engaged 3 months in, simply because Chandra has a daughter, and they think they're doing the "right thing" by showing her people should get hitched. I tell my brother as often as I can that it's a bad idea. Of course, I want him to be happy, blah blah, all that. But, I can just forsee the problems they're going to have. The woman has changed her engagement ring so many times I can't remember anymore. EVerytime I visited for a year and a half it was, "Let's go and look and look at my ring!"

Some people get married because they have that "feeling" of being in love. I believe, as I recall, that's simply seratonin in your brain, and it has to wear off eventually, or you'd die. Some people however, are addicted to the feeling, and have to constantly fall in love, and hop from person to person. I just thought that was interesting, when I watched about it on TLC..

At any rate, marriage is a bad thing.

PFunkjazz said:

Mmmm ... the old trading game, eh? A female friend of mine likened her search for the ultimate, permanent partner to a game of pontoon (vingt-et-un, twenty-one, blackjack - I think). For her, she was always weighing up whether to stick with the partner (cards) she had, or to twist and risk the chance of going bust. She said she was joking ...
[This message was edited Fri Jul 5 10:02:07 PDT 2002 by langebleu]