Since there,s so little to read in the news section, I thought this would be a good time to share news so new they have yet to happen...


NPGMC closes, fans sue
Alleging that Prince's organization did not deliver all that it promised, the class action is set to be heard on June 7, 2003.

Ben sells The Org for a "classified" amount
Sold to an unidentified fan for an undisclosed amount rumored to be in the region of 12 000 000 sand dollars. "It was only a matter of time," said one moderator, who would only say that the new owner wore "a funny little hat""

Prince releases Allah Along the Watchtower
Who knew Prince would release his best rock album ever to sing about his own new religion? Prince,s latest faith is a mix of Islam and Jehovah's Witnesses doctrines. Stand out tracks include Theological Discourse (a cover of underground classic Electric Intercourse set to new lyrics) and the similarly modified Bob Dylan song.

Tina Graham hospitalized for facial cramps
The wife of famed bassist Larry Graham was suffering from painful facial cramps brought on by oversmiling. "I've never seen such a severe case. Whatever makes her smile like that must be very gratifying."

Celebration 2003 Focuses on Singer's Faith
This year, purpleheads congregating at Paisley Park can expect to be treated to pamphlets and special musical sermons delivered in a new high-tech, limited seating performance space. "It's a bit of an inner sanctum, says "Oceana". They let you in only if you answer to their liking. Then you head to this strange little round space with a very high stage. Prince plays a brilliant one man set with plenty of preaching. Then he gets down and talks and it feels like we're one big family."

Madonna launches fight to help Prince get his masters
"I'm doing this because it's the right thing to do and he won't be happy -- or shut up -- until he gets them back. Let,s get it over with before he slides into some buddhist variant of JW."

Britney covers Vanity 6's Vibrator
It certainly looks like the formerly Justin-dependent vixen has found a cure.

Prince and MJ form production company
In a move that insiders said is sure to create the weirdest recording entity in history, dethroned superstars Prince and Michael Jackson formed a new label called Reparation.
[This message was edited Mon Aug 5 19:18:15 PDT 2002 by Aerogram]

Brilliant. Simply brilliant.

Aero is way cooler than Battier.

funny

uglybrowneyes said:

I aim to please.

You want to know what is really funny???

Some dumb asshole has voted zero stars on this topic multiple times when it is a completely innocuous post and is quite humorous.

It is probably one of the "eye roller" posse.

3 words... OFF THE CHAIN!!!

Simply spectacular

IceNine said:

It's the Antiaeroists again!

You forgot one...Larry Graham's stage-shoe on e-bay for a 1,000,000 Larry-$ ( note that this is not US-$).

Thank you, that was one of the funniest things I've read in quite some time

this is funny in a weird sorta way!

"Britney covers Vanity 6's Vibrator ", seriously I think that they should work together now, this could save Britney's career from the predictable disaster & bring back Jamie Starr.

Thank you all for the extravagant compliments.

All of that criticizing that you've done to me from before, and now you are on here talking about "future news"? Are you the ultimate psychic?

And people think that I'm nuts???

morena77 said:

Of course I'm psychic. I can see where this is going.

jnoel said:

Dream on...

Very Funny. I'm cracking up laughing.

Aerogram, You're funny as hell. I'm crying from laughing so damn hard I especially like the Britney Part
[This message was edited Mon Aug 5 2:25:15 PDT 2002 by NPGDiva]

Why,... thank you.

This must be a religion thread.

It keeps coming back from the dead.

It's the Lazarus thread.

Miracle at the Org?

too funny A. !! The part about Paisley hit home. I got a little weirded out by the last Celebration.

Vagina said:

do you see what kinds of horror the org has wrought upon the earth, now this poor woman has a poon tang that is cracking. I do not think if this kind of thing is funny!

mrchristian said:

No wonder. Call me crazy, but I fully contemplated Prince doing this kind of very intimate show to "recruit" people. Of course, I'm being flippant when I use it as humor, but the scary part with him is... who knows?

MyLittlePill said:

What's really scary is you talking to a nice girl like Vagina... and she might just be you!