A woman's opinions...

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.

2. If you get one, be grateful.

3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.

4. No I DON'T have to swallow.

5. My ears are NOT handles.

6. Do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?

7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get it is NEVER OK to fart or fall asleep.

8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" -get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.

9. "Blue balls" might have worked on high school girls- if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.

10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.

11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.

12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.

13. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.

14. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to kiss it good morning".

Y U always got the sex thing goin' on?

feltbluish said:

'cause I got a scarlett pussy!

Thanks Boob. That's right neighborly of you.

Boob you are the absolute best. You had me laughing so hard. Didn't think they'd allow such topics since it's not Prince related. You tell the guys where it's at! Bravo!

Boob said:

down boy!

Vagina said:

Hi, Vagina!

OMG I am ROFLMAO!

Boob for PRESIDENT!!!

So I guess you're single then Boob?

EXCELLENT, Boob! EXCELLENT!

See also, this URL:

http://sickjokes.about.co...xlist4.htm

If any woman even suggested that I not play my videogames, I'd bounce her off every wall in the house. Don't mess with a man's videogames! It's a quick and easy choice for any man to make.

Boob said:

Now your being selfish.

Ian and Goldie... you are so very right... there are some things that a man cannot give up!

Also, farting and sleeping was tiggers do best! I mean men! It's what men do best! Don't take that away from us.

will U do it on a boat?
will U do it 2 a goat?
will U do it in your raincoat?
will U do it down in your throat?
will U do it up in a tree?
will U do it on bended knee?

You forgot one.

15. Make sure you don't stink.

Thanks Boob mainly #8

IceNine said:

EXCELLENT, Ice! EXCELLENT!

Sorry boob, you lost me after the first rule.

Boob said:

This bitch is obviously a lesbian so she doesnt count

BLACKMF said:

What if I stick a stilletto heel up your ass while you're tied to the bed with my bra, then when you turn around and look at me (as if to say "deeper") I'll kick you across your upper lip giving you my own brand of "dirty sanchez"




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[This message was edited Sun Jul 28 18:11:36 PDT 2002 by Boob]

BLACKMF said:

No, she's just talking about the rude things some men do and the attitudes some men have. Newsflash--not all (in fact, few) women who criticize the way men behave are lesbian. Reverse logic: if men are critical of how women behave during sex, does that mean they're gay?

Boob said:

Oh, DAMN!!! That's gotta hurt!

Hey as a man (all man) I don't really see anything wrong with her list.

Boob said:

actually ur doing them a favor; ur trying 2 hook them up and they act like u owe them something. not 2 mention the way they ask 4 the services i mean what's "give me some head"? oh yeah, i wan't 2 now.

boob, preach on sista gurl!

How bout when they just take it out and expect you to just do it cause it's hard and they need some Release? They just expose themselves like that. I've seen guys actually take it out and start massaging it in front of me . Or exposing themselves to me while they honk the horn and ask for directions. Guys You Gotta Have a better Lovemaking Technique. Where are your skills? Slobs just don't cut it.

Vagina said:

~bkw goes back to the drawing board~