I think the stupidest thing I ever read in a review was for the Gold Experience where the reviewer likened "We March" to a Zapp ripoff. At first I was excited that Prince was gonna do something Zapp like and then I heard it and new the reviewer was on a 6 day crack binge cuz on no planet is that song a Zapp ripoff

the most ridiculous thing, in almost every single review is how they
start by calling him a midget a dwarf, the hip high hipster etc etc.

then they talk about the name change, about how he was a big star in
the 80's and went indie in the 90's how he went back to this label,
how he went back to that label, how he got married, divorced, had a
baby, got married again.

and then, in the last 4 lines, they discuss the new album, in which
4 lines they mention 26 pre 90's songs for comparison, lol.

leave out the 3 paragraphs of intruductory non sense and blabla about
his hight, his name change and his peak albums and just concentrate
on the album you're supposed to review for heaven's sake.

I remember a particularly bad review of Lovesexy in People magazine where they said the album was sloppy but as prolific as P is, he would have a better one out by lunch. Really slammed it pretty hard but I don't remember any other specific details.

Rolling Stone review of SOTT,

"Sign o' the Times seems unlikely to alter anything more profound than the face of the hit parade."

I remember someone reviewing "Sign O The Times". They talked about Prince going from singing about God in "The Cross" to sex in "It". They said...."apparently Prince's God is his penis".

I remember watching the "700 Club" in 1984. They were talking about "evil rock music". They said on "I Wanna Be Your Lover", Prince was "an evil little sneak" that snuck in the line "I wanna be the only one you come for" past Warner Brothers. Then they reviewed "Dirty Mind". They said Prince was one of the most evil people they had seen.
.
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[Edited 5/12/06 13:41pm]

Some reviewer once said that "New Power Soul" was a "return to form" for Prince.




WTF?

vainandy said:

That might be the most accurate statement from a reviewer ever!

Universaluv said:

I saw a ridiculous review of either 1999 or Purple Rain that said it didn't have any hits on it. I was like, 'WTF'?!

Imago said:

MTV online. I remember that.

"Prince had a few good song in the 90's including Dionne and Cloreen Baconskin,..."

I am sure baconskin is 80's and I don't anyone even listens to The Truth outside hardcore fans

Pretty much every album since Graffiti Bridge has been hailed a "return to form" by some dimwit journalist...

(except for maybe Come and Chaos & Disorder)
[Edited 5/12/06 17:15pm]

u2prnce said:

I think I read that one too. I was like, counting on my fingers...mmhmm. No hits. Right.

There should be a rule that to review anything, professional or not, one absolutely must know what one is talking about.

Protege said:

Or at least actually listen to the album

Yeah, that too.

These two:

"Prince and the Revolution: Around the World in a Day [Warner Bros., 1985]
It's pretty strange, given that he looked like a visionary not long ago. But this arrested adolescent obviously don't know nuthin about nuthin--except maybe his own life, which for all practical purposes ended in his adolescence, since even for a pop star he does his damnedest to keep the world out. So while his sexual fantasies are outrageous only in their callous predictability and his ballads compelling only as shows of technique, they sure beat his reflexive antinomianism and dim politics. Which suggests why the solid if decidedly unpsychedelic musical pleasures our young craftsman makes available here don't wash. Only the crass "Raspberry Beret" and maybe the crooning "Condition of the Heart" are worth your time. B-

Lovesexy [Paisley Park, 1988]
He's a talented little guy, and this has plenty of pizzazz. But I'll take The Black Album's fat-bottomed whomp over its attention-grabbing beats and halfway decent tunes any day, and despite appearances it sure ain't where he explains why sexiness is next to godliness--lyrically it's sloppy if not pseudo if not stupid. This is doubly bothersome because added religious content is what it's supposed to have over its not terribly shocking alternative. Leading one to the obvious conclusion that the real reason the little guy made the switch was that he was scared to reveal how, shall we say, unpop he could be. B+

Graffiti Bridge [Paisley Park, 1990]
On his third studio double in a decade, he's definitely cheating. Half the music isn't really his, and the other half is overly subtle if not rehashed or just weak: title track, generational anthem, and lead single all reprise familiar themes, and the ballads fall short of the exquisite vocalese that can make his slow ones sing. But some of the subtle stuff--"Tick, Tick Bang"'s PE-style electrobeats, say--is pretty out, most of the received stuff is pretty surefire, and from unknowns to old pros, his cameos earn their billings. Also, there's half a great Time album here--did he steal it or just conceive it? B+

Robert Christgau "

2freaky4church1 said:

?????
[Edited 5/12/06 17:32pm]

Tick Tick Bang being subtle and ATWIAD being unpsychodelic are sure signs of crack use

Prince even called it a psychodelic movie.

Or when they say most of his 90's work sucked, which is far from true. I love and can easily defend his 90s work.

I seem to recall that the guy who reviewed Sign "O" The Times in Rolling Stone way back when thought Camille was a real, seperate person who Prince was giving singing time to.

Leave Kurt Loder alone

DiamondGirl said:

vainandy said:

Prince may be anything but Evil, What a crock of sh&^

I'm not sure that I read this in a review of an album, but I do remember the line "Prince cannot sing ballads" vividly. Not too long ago on housequake. Written by a woman, BTW.

Not for an album, but for the "Black Sweat" single not too long ago in The Guardian in the UK.

The (female) reviewer said something like "I really would like to still love Prince, but for 20 years he's only singing about sex and nothing else, and I just get tired of it".

Remember, this was written in the age of JW-Larry-Graham-swearing-is-evil Prince!!!

If I've ever seen a person making publicly clear to be too stupid or uninformed for their job, then it's this girl!

There was review of the Lovesexy concert in some city where they criticized him as appearing in the second half "in a ridiculous wig"

come on. nothing will beat "Prince is the black Beck."

"I need five remixes of this ("I Rock Therefore I Am") and I want them now!"

Charles Shaar Murray in his review of Chaos And Disorder.


But this one has to be the most boneheaded review I have ever read:

"The thing with Prince is that hes so groovy. This isnt like Purple Rain, which was crap. Im not saying this is a great single. Its a bit stodgy".

Dave Gahan of Depeche Mode, reviewing "Kiss".

.

"this is his best work since Sign O the times"

since Diamonds and Pearls I've always seen this sentence in many reviews...