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PrintableDecember1984 said: When I woke up the next mornin'
Larry wasn't there. I looked all over but all I found was a Watchtower on the stairs. It said, "Thank U 4 re-writin' yo ryhmes. Stop by Kingdom Hall, We'll edit the rest sometime". 
This is one of the funniest things I've read in ages. Post of the year! Very, very good! No hard feelings. | |
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pepper7 said: Handclapsfingasnapz said: i'm just a virgin, and i'm on my way to be wed
but you're such a hunk...so full of spunk i'll give ya bread...till it's moldin' up...   you wouldnt've stopped, but uh, i got flour on your wedding gown... | |
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New Religion
Ooh! Larry, I been a swearer Larry, 4 2 long Larry, U got 2 make it better Larry, ‘fore I go wrong I got 2 try your new religion, yeah Somethin' that'll make it all right, uh New religion, yeah Let's go sanitisin' the work, the work of my life Larry, I can't last, uh (I can't last) Without a shot of new prayer, huh Help me, to forget my past (Forget my past) U got 2 clean up my swears I want to try your new religion, yeah Somethin' that'll make it all right Oh, a new religion, yeah, yeah Let's go fixin' what ain't broken for the rest of my life Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah! Come on and let Jehova Come on and let Jehova, 'hova Come on and let Jehova I wanna, I want Jehova, 'hova Larry, U can make me sappy (U can make me S*A*P*P*Y) Ooh, u can make me real good (So pious) Larry, please be my pappy (P*A*P*P*Y) But U'll teach me, U'll teach me, teach me, teach me, like a... Teach me teach me like a Reverend should You'll teach me, to think like a brainwashed follower should Larry, I love your new religion Aaahh! (Where do I sign? Uh huh. U say U need my credit card details for what again? OK, no problem, let me get 'em 4 U. Ooh, say, Larry, that kinda tickles...) | |
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tiger2 said: New Religion
Let's go fixin' what ain't broken for the rest of my life you win. cant't ....catch breath.. laughing too.....*gasp* hard! | |
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Donuts All Night
Pardon me, I wanna bake 4 U I may be kinda shy but I just gotta tell U what I'm gonna do Someone over there said he wants 2 give U donuts I... I don't care cuz I really wanna go nuts But I'm so scared cuz he might feed something 2 U that U'd like I've been waiting such a blinking long time Just 2 get this close 2 U Now that U're near me, I want U 2 hear me And tell U what I wanna do Oh, I wanna eat donuts, donuts all night I want them donuts, donuts are so nice Burning what I'm bakin' is something that I'd never do But I'm so easy, so easy when it comes 2 cookin' 4 U Can't U understand that I wanna feed and nourish? I'll do anything I can just 2 give U happiness And baby, drown, baby, drown, baby, in my greasy donut dough Come on, baby, can't U get 2 this? I've been waiting such a blooming long time And U been snackin' with someone else Now that I've got your attention There's something I wanna mention Oh, I wanna eat donuts, donuts all night I want them donuts, donuts are so nice Oh yeah Baby, baby, baby, baby Donuts all night I... I wanna eat donuts, yeah, donuts are all right etc. etc. | |
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Girl, you got bus pass like I never seen
and the bus ride I said the bus ride is so smooth U must give that pass to me  | |
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text, text
some people can't read it but everyone should text, text if you're not illiterate you can read good, good, good. | |
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alwayslate said: text, text
some people can't read it but everyone should text, text if you're not illiterate you can read good, good, good. | |
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I Love U, Larry
He knocked on my door and I took a peek At his magazine full of the Truth that I seek I begged 4 a copy, he gave me 7 Our prayerbooks touched and it feel like heaven CHORUS: Sells me easy answers is what he does 2 me He don't cuss cuz it's against Jehovah's decree When he preachin' God, it's like lobotomy And I say - "Ooh, I love U, Larry" "I love..." I promise myself not 2 get rapturous till he does Then he talked in tongues and a liar I was No man in this world could ever hope 2 last When my Larry downshifts and starts preachin' fast CHORUS "I love U, I love U, Larry" Our bodies sink in a pool of holy wine It's the kinda religion that can scramble up yo mind (Baaaa!) With U Larry, I'm the cleanest in the world (So clean) I don't need money cuz U're my girl (What?!) CHORUS (Lobotomy) "I love U, Larry" Takes away my funk is what he does 2 me He don't cuss cuz it's against Jehovah's decree (Decree, yeah!) When he's talkin' God, it's like lobotomy And I say - "Ooh, I love U, Larry" "I love U" Yeah, yeah "Ooh, I love U, Larry" | |
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you win, tiger2.
 | |
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cborgman said: i knew this guy name larry,
i guess you could say he was a prayer fiend i met him in a hotel lobby reading a very interesting magazine he said "how'd ya like to get saved" and i could not resist when my soul larry craved slight change to make it rhyme: I knew this do' named Larry Right when I recorded newpower (soul!) I met him at the local Kingdom Hall Peepin' the Watchtower (no!) he said, "baby brother are you saved?" and took my soul because i was weak and then I caved... (Should I go on?) Walking alone in the dark, I see nothing u see
I can be in a park, or flying in the…in the deep sea I wish u’d hold my hand; then everything could b There’s nothing strange, we’re not deranged We only want everyday 2 b a Cosmic Day |
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You people are beautiful. Hope Prince knows what a knob he sounds like when he self-edits. "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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If U're looking for somewhere to go
Thought I'd take u to a movie show Sittin' in the back and I'll teach you golf I can't give u everything u want But I can take u to a restaurant If u're not hungry I'll teach you golf If your man ain't no good Come on over to my neighborhood We can go out back I'll teach you golf If u're tired of the tennis palyer Little girl, we can go on a date And if u like, I'll teach you golf I'll teach you golf, teach you golf I'll teach you golf, teach you golf I'll teach you golf I only do it for a worthy cause Funny Paints or Artritus U'll have an instant 12 handy cap if I teach you golf If u really really want to be a star We gotta do it on your momma's course Fully Clothed on the back 9 , I'll teach you golf If we can't find no place to go Girl, I'll take u to a movie show, we can sit in the back And I'll jack u off I'll teach you golf, teach you golf I'll teach you golf, teach you golf I'll teach you golf, yeah Yeah, yeah, I'll teach you golf Alright say, we'll put some funk on here I'll teach you golf If u ain't chicken baby, come here If u're good I'll even let u put As a matter of fact, u can teach me golf Yeah, that's right I'll teach you golf, yeah I'll teach you golf | |
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SlamGlam said: If U're looking for somewhere to go
Thought I'd take u to a movie show Sittin' in the back and I'll teach you golf | |
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December1984 said: When I woke up the next mornin'
Larry wasn't there. I looked all over but all I found was a Watchtower on the stairs. It said, "Thank U 4 re-writin' yo ryhmes. Stop by Kingdom Hall, We'll edit the rest sometime". That is classic!! | |
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Prayed 4 U
Called U Found U Preached 2 U Convinced U Saw U Held U Fleeced U Asked U Thanked U Hurt U Disappoint U Bad U U been bamboozled, hoodwinked, took. | |
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Oh, sister
Don't put me on the street again Oh, sister I just want to be your friend I know what you want me to do Put me on the street And make me visit door to door, oohoohoooow I love nuns! U been bamboozled, hoodwinked, took. | |
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Ooops ... didn't read the topic of the thread properly edit [Edited 3/13/06 4:16am] I'm just, I'm just Levi from the org | |
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Door 2 door, nothing comes 4 free
If U open ur door, U can put up with me And if U light my candle, we can share the prayer Tomes of scripture, sweet Watchtower Sweet Watchtower Door 2 door {x3} U been bamboozled, hoodwinked, took. | |
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U been bamboozled, hoodwinked, took. | |
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Godhead (Godhead)
Yeah, we gettin' preachy in the house tonite Prayin' to Godhead (Prayin' to Godhead) Come on, get preachin', get preachin' Prayin' to Godhead (Prayin' to Godhead) Oh yeah, we gettin' preachy in the house tonite Prayin' the Godhead, yeah (Prayin' to Godhead) U been bamboozled, hoodwinked, took. | |
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alwayslate said: okay, this was inspired by an earlier post. prince's way of censoring himself is kinda wack. so let's do it for him.
your turn. Prince - Bliss "U don't have 2 be beautiful 2 turn Jesus on I just need your spiritual inner self baby From dusk till dawn U don't need religious experience 2 turn me out U just leave it all up 2 me I'm gonna show u what Larry is all about" "U got to not talk about the devil, baby If u wanna impress me U can't be 2 flirty about heaven, mama I know how 2 undress religious falsehood (Yeah) I want 2 be your supernatural fantasy Maybe u could be mine U just leave it all up to my bible We could have a good time" "U don't have 2 be rich 2 be my Eve U don't have 2 be cool 2 rule my supernatural world Ain't no particular Godly sign I'm more compatible with I just want your extra time and your Bliss" | |
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Be a Christian, Be like Christ
until u're cleansed I'll live my life in taxicabs Be a Christian, Be like Christ until u're saved I'll live my life in taxicabs U been bamboozled, hoodwinked, took. | |
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Safe sex used to mean no babies
...and intercourse used to mean fun if I had 15 ladies, I would only duck and run | |
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Y'all stoopid | |
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Not really a profanity censor, but what the hey:
He wore a bad, hairy toupee. The kind you find, in your grandmama's drawer... Bad, hairy toupee. He put it on, because his hair's no more. | |
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December1984 said: When I woke up the next mornin'
Larry wasn't there. I looked all over but all I found was a Watchtower on the stairs. It said, "Thank U 4 re-writin' yo ryhmes. Stop by Kingdom Hall, We'll edit the rest sometime". sheer awesomeness! | |
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Dance Music Pets Romance
Everybody, get in the store What the hell would U come here 4? Girl it ain't no use, U might as well get a goose Work your body like in Christian lore Say everybody -- Get on the farm We're gonna show U hamsters how 2 breed Pet lovers everywhere, Loosen up your leash Take a deeper breath and breed along with me, yes Are U ready? Everybody everybody, ooh, alright, Dance Music Pets Romance Oh, everybody say, ooh, alright, Dance Music Pets Romance | |
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Pop Wit U
I wanna sip pop wit u coca-cola, pepsi and mountain dew in a can or bottle it's up to you make you suck your straw and say, "ooh" I wanna sip pop wit u in a can or bottle, it's up to you dr pepper, fanta and orange crush, too ooh, I wanna sip pop wit u I wanna sip pop wit u I wanna sip pop wit u I wanna sip pop wit u I wanna sip pop wit u I want to sip pop wit u I wanna give u some ice cold cream soda and some marshmallows oooh, I wanna sip pop wit u I wanna get u to chug a mug of A & W.... | |
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alwayslate said: when 2 go outdoors
their bodies shiver at the mere contemplation of outside exploration (with no coat or hat) without a coat and a hat (hat) | |
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