I am a firm believer we learn so much through our own trials and tribulations. I also think that we learn through our understanding of others experiences.

I thought that maybe we could take time (without flaming. Good humor welcome), to share some of our personal journeys. Things that made you stronger. What motivates you now. What's it like in your skin. Whatever...
I guess I should go first...


My father was hit by a train when I was only a month old. My mother had serious problems most of my childhood. I didn't have any siblings and I was primarily raised by my grandmother. Overall, I was neglected.

I struggled through school only to drop out. I spent my time listening to music, partying, and being lost. I hung out with the very wrong crowd and ended up with a serious drug addiction.

One morning after I had been up for 3 days, I decided that I was either going to try to go to sleep and start my life all over when I wake, or I am going to swallow a whole bottle of Vicoden and finish myself off. Needless to say...I fell asleep.
I quit doing drugs when I was 20. I had a few minor relapses early on, but have been clean for about 10 yrs. I quit by myself and on my own. Period. It was very, very hard, but I wanted it so badly.

Since those days I was diagnosed as having G.A.D.and that this was the reason behind my inablity to function in school and my self-medicating. It is an anxiety condition in which most cases it is brought on by a traumatizing childhood. I would have very debilitating panic attacks and worry CONSTANTLY. It only got worse with age. I fought it on my own for years. I figured if I could quit drugs, then I could do anything.

Admitting you need help has got to be the worst thing anyone faces...next to sharing private stuff on the org. of course. I had to face seeing a Dr. and going into therapy. So very scary...As it turns out those were two of the best choices I have ever made in my life. I also had a great network of support. I have loved the process so much. I never had any idea how much your life can change.


The moral to my story is that you have to do what works for you. And when things are not working as you want them to, ask someone for help. It doesn't mean you are weak, crazy, unintelligent, or any less of a fantastic human being. Always look inside yourself, there may be more there that deserves exploring. I have learned more about the human condition by looking inside myself than I ever imagined.

Going on the journey inside myself has been the most amazing trip I have ever taken. And it's a trip that doesn't ever end

Bravo Berry!

I respect you for this kind of courage and willpower.

Although I must add that I really hate the word "fam". It's all good though



Edited for my "fam" rant.
[This message was edited Thu Jul 11 17:04:17 PDT 2002 by lovemachine]

lovemachine said:

Damn it, I really love you for hating the word "fam" in every way!!!

I have been on about this for some time and I will never tire of discussing the horrors "famdom."


Oh, yeah... Berry, you are a good person and I am glad that you made it through the rough stuff and became who you are!

....
[This message was edited Thu Jul 11 17:11:21 PDT 2002 by IceNine]

Wow, Berry... Thank you for sharing that part of you...I admire your resiliency and determination...so very glad to see you become the woman you have after everything else you went thru...

My first memory is when I was 3 years old & I went to see my Dad gig for the first time. I remember thinking 'My Dad is the coolest Dad in the world & Im gonna do what he does for a living for the rest of my life.

That year my Parents bought me my first Drum kit - a little Mickey Mouse kit lol. They noticed I could keep time on it & so gave me lessons with Fred Wells when I was 7.

I learned my first couple of Keyboard licks from my Dad when I was 9 & (he being a Bass Player) then taught me the Guitar & Bass.

Aged 8, I was watching TV one day & on came this band. There was a huge black bloke on the drums, & this crazy guy with a red mask over his face. I'd never really heard his music before (except the odd playing of Purple Rain or 1999 on the radio) but I instantly knew who it was. I said to my Mum, 'Thats Prince'! I began to learn that Prince could play lots of instrument & had about 30 records out which amazed me for one guy to do. Since then, I have moved away from being just a Drummer & have worked to become a multi musician like my hero.

As I began getting into bands & things, there was always a designated songwritter & I never really got a chance to play my own songs. In 1999 I decided, with my new studio, that I would begin to make music the way I thought it should. Not trying to write a pop song or a rock tune, just playing from the heart & seeing what happens.

Now aged 18, I am a drum teacher for a living & run my own website for my music that recieves hundreds of visitors a day.

Moral of my story, we can all make music, no matter how old or talented you may think you are. Music is the only place you can truely be free. The first rule in music is that there are no rules. Creation is key, let out whats in your soul once in a while.

God bless

Lewis

I love u guys.


By the way...I like FAM. It's on my license plate

Berry said:

Now I'm a little scared of you. Although there is a girl who used to go to Paisley Park who license read "P CNTRL" and someone else who had "ECNIRP" so I guess it's not that uncommon.

Man I edit alot, but I was just thinking that Prince a few years ago started calling his fans "Friends" and then a couple of years ago it became "Fams". So what happens if he changes his mind again? New license plate?
[This message was edited Thu Jul 11 17:27:59 PDT 2002 by lovemachine]
[This message was edited Thu Jul 11 17:33:27 PDT 2002 by lovemachine]

Big smiles to you, Berry.

Berry, you truly have a beautiful mind, a strong heart, and a stronger soul.

Okay we are getting a bit deep here but,I will contribute because I do believe in the way Berry put this. As for my self I was sexually abused for the first time when I was 8yrs old then again at ten by someone diffrent but the more difficult being now it was a family member (uncle) This happened after my family being torn apart by divorce.I mourned the lost of my father only to soon find out he wasn't my "real" father after all anyways.The pain was none the less the same. My mom thereafter dated the most craziest, psychotic men.They physically abused her.(About 100 stories to tell behind that !) One of them who became my lil' sister's father eventually nearly killed my, at the time, 17yr old brother for the second time !!! He needed total reconstructive surgery.It was a miracle he made it thru alive ! I never really felt close to my Mother and so I looked for Love in all the wrong places the same way I seen her do.By being premiscuous with men or boys and developing an addiction to the world famous drugs of choice.Some of my mom's men got her into it as well as talking her into letting me in on it as well.I hated the way our life was beause it didn't let me have a normal life.My mom then phsically abused us as kids, especially me.I continued to be sexually abused my step-father and uncle. I definitly didn't come from a religious backround that's for sure.So,looking for some way out I took myself to church on the Joy buses you've all seen before.I tried to be good and it just didn't work because my mom and I were always arguing and fighting, even physically.Going to different churches was an on again off again experience my whole life between the caos which surrounded me. I was almost always running away from home,out on the streets,hanging with the crowd, up to no good ,mainly drug use.But,then there was fighting/gangs,stealing that I also learned from my mom and her men and a lil' bit of drug dealing too.Oh,and soon grand theft auto was the thing to do so,I spent time in Juvenile Hall before graduated to the Women's Facility.I could go on forever telling you the many woes I been thru but,I am gonna stop and tell you I no longer hunger in the free (welfare) cheese lines.And that spiritual journey I was on most my life came to an end 4yrs ago when I became a dedicated baptised servant of the true God JEHOVAH. Jesus promised- "Happy are those conscious of their spiritual need...Happy are those hungering and thirsting for righteousness,since they will be filled" (Mathew 5:3,6) I am living a good life now.I am happy with my daughter and husband.After dragging them every sunday to a different church and going thru bible courses with different faiths I found the answers to "Why are there so many different world religions?" and if we live in a dominatly Christain country "Why are there so many diferences among these ?" And so on and so on...this is where I found refuge and escape from a violent life and world.I now eat well spiritually by filling my mind and heart with the knowledge of God.That is my story thank-U for sharing yours with us as well Berry.Peace and Love to u and everyone at the Org !

Sorry,about no paragraph's.I tried but,when I posted it still came out that way.I am first to admit I need a workshop for internet amaeturs!

I'm glad you made it through, Saffire, and found what you were looking for.

Kudos to everyone who is sharing these stories here. You are very brave people indeed!

Amazingly brave... much love to all of ya.

I for one have much respect for people who have made it through adversity because all too often you hear people using their past as an excuse for the problems in their lives now.

Bravo to all who triumph!

c'mon people. I'm in this thread for all the life-changing personal stories I can read. So far a couple here are the only ones worth my applause! I will cancel my subscription to this shitty Prince.org service if this doesn't improve!

Oh yes, I hate the word 'fam' too. It must be genetic :p

I'd love to offer a few life stories from the ol' archive, but I haven't bought a life yet. I'm told they were going cheap at the end-of-financial-year sales, but there were only some damaged ones left in the bargain bin when I arrived.
[This message was edited Thu Jul 11 19:24:40 PDT 2002 by betra]

betra said:

A while back a friend of mine was wearing a Prince hat at work and a lady who he had seen, but never talked to at Paisley Park came up to him and said, "Are you a 'friend' of 'The Artist'?"

He answered, "No I'm a Prince fan."

That's too funny IMO.

This was when Prince was referring to fans as friends and before the name-change.

lovemachine said:

When I was very young, I was exposed to a variety of Christian faiths.
I went to the Baptist Church
regularly where I learned to really enjoy
the Bible. I was sent to Catholic school, where
I learned from the catechism a lot of doctrines
that were different from the ones in my baptist
religion. My grandmother was devout holiness and
taught me many other things different from the
other two religions.

In the meantime, I went through what I thought
was the normal...broken home, sexual abuse from
the usual and unusual sources,yada, yada, yada.

I began searching for answers to questions like:
If there is a God who cares, why does he permit
so much suffering? I began to pray to Jesus, Whom
I thought was the same as God, to help me to
know the TRUTH. I had to have been about 8 years
old. I prayed that prayer for many years because
I knew somewhere, somehow, it had to exist. It had
to be pure and clear and not mystic and contradictory.

Then one day, a beautiful couple showed up at my
door and handed me a book called, The TRUTH that
leads to everlasting life. Within the pages of
that little book, I found the answers to all my
questions! Happiness filled my life, along with the
contentment that comes from knowing that there is
a God who cares, and that his permission of wickedness
in no way was due to a lack of love on His part.
I saw that, in due time, all that is hurtful will cease.
I saw that there will be an actual REVERSAL of all
that is detrimental to mankind.

I could thus love God unconditionally and feel the
love of God and his son Jesus Christ in my life.
My purpose in life became clear, to draw close to
my creator and to share the wonderful knowledge
with others WHO MAY BE SEARCHING FOR THE SAME THING
THAT I HAD BEEN. Joyfully I can say, that I have found
many others who have said "thank you so much for
helping me to find answers".

I respect the beliefs of all who feel differently.
I wish that all find the inner peace that makes life
so much more bearable...even joyful!

Peace and Love to all!

-

SensualMelody said:

Hi SensualMelody. It's cool that you chose to share your story with us. Can you elaborate on why, or how, you accepted "the truth" in a small little book? Because I'm trying to imagine myself in that situation, and it just wouldn't work. The most important thing for me in my life has been people who have touched me raw, without the labels of religion & books of 'knowledge' & 'answers'. It would be cool if u could elaborate on what really triggered it for you.

Thank you so much for asking Betra.

I think it was the fact that I had been asking
specific questions for so long to so many
people, including ministers, priests, collegues,
everybody. I had also been reading the bible a lot.

Some questions I had:
What happens to people when they die?

What about people who never heard of Jesus?

Are they condemned just because circumstances
dictated that they were born in a place that
did not practice Christianity?

Does the soul survive the body at death?

Why do we grow old and die?

Was that God's original purpose?

These were just a few of the questions that the
little book answered by directing me to the
scriptures in the bible so that I could see the
answers for myself.


So it was not the book itself, nor the religion
itself but the satisfying answers, and the wonderful
peace of mind that followed.

-
[This message was edited Thu Jul 11 22:49:39 PDT 2002 by SensualMelody]

.
[This message was edited Fri Jul 12 23:08:53 PDT 2002 by AmethystAngelMPLS]

I'm at a loss for words... (happy cry)

all of u r beautiful
~ love ~

i will say this..fams r peaceful.they don't talk crap
2 each other like the fans do.FANS=MONSTERS
btw i'm a fan ;)all jokes aside much love BERRY.
THAT IS INSPIRATIONAL 4 ALL.
[This message was edited Thu Jul 11 22:51:10 PDT 2002 by theC]

OMG! Tears in my eyes
I love you all!

thanks for sharing everyone!!!
i met a man who told me that he loved Jesus, and since i loved Jesus too, we were married and planned to live a good life together. i promised to follow him and honor him but after years of physical, mental and emotional abuse he abandoned me and the children in a very isolated place.

Thanks Berry.