Just for the entertainment:

"PM Dawn--Of the Heart, of the Soul, and of the Cross: The Utopian Experience [Gee Street, 1991]
Not only is their mind excursion less threatening than Hammer, it embraces the Beatles and Spandau Ballet with a nerdy passion that might have been designed to assuage white consciences and fears. I doubt it, though--listen true and its escapism seems not willful but willed, Prince Be's deft, thought-out response to a world that bugs him politically, spiritually, existentially, and because he's fat. This is rap that's totally idiosyncratic, yet so lost in music it's got total outreach--moving effortlessly from speech to song, the quiet storm of sweet hooks and soft beats surprises like prime Big Star or XTC, only it's never brittle or arch. The sharpest synthesis since Prince, who we should probably start calling Prince Fuck just to keep our teen spirits straight. A"

"Ready for the World [MCA, 1985]
"I want your lips/I even want your tongue, love": Melvin Riley Jr. puts into words the erotic aspirations that have motivated love men since the first falsetto seduction. From wet ballad to videogame beat, the Prince influence is so palpable it's almost comic and so brazen it could take your breath away. But where Prince thinks sex is nasty, Melvin makes nice-nice. La-la means he'll fuck you. B+"

"The Family [Warner Bros., 1985]
Paisley Park's attempt to pick up where the Time left off, this has the beats to prove it, but the best of them is cursed with a witlessly glamorous ersatz-Morris vocal and lyric and two others are instrumentals. Then there's the slow stuff, most of it cursed with damply purple ersatz-Prince vocal and lyric. Maybe some enterprising rapper will rip off the tracks. Till then, rest content with this Inspirational Verse: "Your body it covers my tower/Ecstasy is ours." C+"

"Mavis Staples--Time Waits for No One [Paisley Park, 1989]
This dream meeting between the criminally underexploited black singer and the black-pop capo doesn't flop altogether--both principals can generate a certain minimum interest sleepwalking. The two songs composed by old Stax hands are slightly embarrassing, but they sound like Mavis, who's made meaningful schlock her lifework. The six by Prince sound like a top-of-the-line disco producer who can't say no to a great voice or a deep ballad. B"

"The Time [Warner Bros., 1981]
The Bugs-Bunny-gets-down voice that's been a funk staple since the Ohio Players is death on ballads--cf. Slave, Rick James. These Princeoid punks are slyer--"Oh Baby" can pass as a mock seduction in the manner of "Cool," which is a mock boast, though I wouldn't be sure about "The Stick" (mock metaphor?). And that's only side two. But it's also half the tracks, and while the others are fun, I wouldn't call them funny--especially the ballad. B+
What Time Is It? [Warner Bros., 1982]
"Wild and Loose" pops wilder and looser than anything they've cut, and their dogging-around jive is wilder and looser still--on "The Walk," Morris Day does an outrageous burlesque of Prince as pussy-stalking youngblood, an inside version of one of the cutesy-pie jokes the little boss plays on himself to prove he's human. The slow "Gigolos Get Lonely Too" is Princelike, too--Morris doesn't approach that patented love-man croon, but he does induce you to take a ridiculous conceit literally. And then there are three great grooves. A-

Ice Cream Castle [Warner Bros., 1984]
This is certainly the most "conceptual" of the three Morris Day showcases, but "Jungle Love" certainly digs as deep a pocket as "Cool" or "The Walk," and the two spoken-word tracks are outrageous, weird, and waggish enough to hold up against Morris's dubious (mock?) confessional ballads on What Time Is It? They may well devolve into a comedy act, but for now it's just as well that the holes in the player Day plays (is?) gape as wide as possible. B+"

"Vanity 6 [Warner Bros., 1982]
The latest Prince creation is a male fantasy even if the girls did write the lyrics themselves, and Vanity's insistence on seven-inch dicks would have made me feel insecure before I discovered hormone treatments. But all eight of these dumb, dancy little synth tunes get me off when I let my guard down, and most of them are funny, hooky, and raunchy at the same time. B+"

"Apollonia 6 [Warner Bros., 1984]
In which our heroine fucks the principal, opens up for her pretty boy, sings quite a bit, and talks cute rather than dirty. The tracks are more than serviceable Starr Company issue; the formula is less than kicky shock. B-"

"TLC--CrazySexyCool [La Face, 1994]
Three great songs here: in ascending order, the cheater's whisper "Creep," the sisters' sermon "Waterfalls," and the wet dream's statement of principle "Red Light Special." The filler sustains, the skits are funnysexycool, the male rappers rock. But other wet dreams end badly--a guy would have to be pretty hard up to sustain four minutes interest in "Let's Do It Again"'s vow of lifelong intromission--and the project's caution is summed up by the Prince cover. Really, ladies, the brilliance of "If I Was Your Girlfriend" was that a guy was singing it. B+"

Profound last statement..