A STORY FICTION THREAD



Prince – An Easter Story : The story of how one Jehova’s Witness save Easter


One Morning, Prince Rogers Nelson awoke to the song of little birds chirping gaily outside his window. He opened the door to the window and walked out onto his balcony to sniff the clean morning air. Life was good. Jehova had blessed him.
He had just signed a major movie deal to star in Purple Rain 3 : Graffit Bridge Reloaded , and life was good. Jehova had blessed him.
He turned around and looked back into his bed room and saw Mani sleeping. Although she possessed a nasty habit of snoring like a chainsaw in the early morning sun, and would often loose her false front tooth at night—one time it even got wedged up in Prince’s anus—but that’s another story—she was as lovely as a one-off, non-contractual, multi-million dollar record deal. Jehova was good.
Prince walked over the large vanity in their bedroom and sat down to get ready to apply his morning makeup. Mani would be awake in 3 hours and he needed all that time to apply the makeup just right and cover up his age and liver spots. He sat down and opened his makeup drawer.
“Got Daymit, “ Prince said realizing he was out of his favorite Mary Kay base. Not to worry, he would just borrow some of Mani’s.

He opened up her makeup drawer. That’s when he discovered the half eatin box of chocolate EASTER EGSS…..



.
[Edited 2/28/05 17:43pm]

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

The clock was ticket. It would only be hours before Larry would have died from lack of prayer, and Prince still had to cover up his liver spots.

what to do, what to do.

First things first. Prince swifty leap into his secret closet, pulled a shower cap over his hair, and covered his eyebrows and facial hair with protective tape. Next he flipped a switch the dropped a plastic mask connected to a tube from the ceiling. Taking a deep breath to avoid inhaling the toxic spray, Prince held his face over his emergency make-up application unit, which coated his face with a professional looking make-up job in just seconds. He dare not use the unit for anything but an extreme emergency. Other users had gone mad due to extend expose to the harsh chemicals, like his one time comrad and competitor Micheal Jackson. Prince shuddered at the thought.

Next Prince call the one person he that knew could handle this threat...

Prince ditched the makeup, and wrote a note for Mani saying what had happend. He then gathered up his hi heels in a box, and got in his limo and rode down to the local water fountain. He left the heels there, and went away and hid to see who was coming to take them, sure enough, it was none other than....DR. PHIL FROM THE "7" VIDEO!!!!!

.

RazzBeret said:

'Dr. Phil? what the hell are u doin here?, prince asked
'well ima just a here to TWAZZZZAAAHHHHHaaaahhhhh!!!, dr. p started to scream , he started shivering all over as he went into shock and soon fell to the ground. upon further examination of dr. P. prince discovered an electric wire, a copy of joan collins 'hollywood wives' and a ticket to the ultra swanky 'psycadelic electric pusscat new swingers club'
what the hell is going here?? our hero wondered to himself ,' how the hell did dr. phil get into this club?? and why is he reading joan collins? like jane Goodalll back from the bush prince would have to investigate. just as our disgruntled hero was contemplating his next move a voice said '
'Hello prince'
'what who's there?' prince said, afraid it might be the avon lady coming to inquire about overdue payments, prince started running for his life.
'You Can Run But U Can't Hide' the voice said
as prince runs he doesn't notice his mascara brush fall out of his pocket, causing him to stumble and fall .
'well well if it isnt the Great prince,' the voice said
prince screamed in fear as face behind the voice was revealed it was none other than....

...a mysterious hooded figure. The figure removed it's hood and Prince heard the words "I'm the ghost of Rick James bitch!!" The ghost said "you've been a thorn in my ass since 1979 and now you're gonna pay". The ghost reached in his thigh high boots and pulled out a.....
[Edited 3/1/05 19:56pm]

AsianBomb777 said:

Your'e a funny motherfather

vainandy said:

Life sized Sheena E. blow up doll!
'now, the ghost said, I command u to perform a scene from ur ridiculous concert "movie" 'Sign O the Times with this sheena E blow up doll'
'but im married,prince said, and' i dont want to committ adultery'
'You fool!, the Ghost shouted, 'its a blow up doll! and to think pepople said u were better than me. the ghost said with a scuff
prince was just about to take the doll in his arms and perform "housequake" when out of nowhere a car come speeding down the path and crashes into the ghost causing him to be vaporized.
'NOOOOO!!, rick james shouted, 'I'm Rick James Bitch!, im gonna get ur purple ass! he screamed as he ascended into the atmosphere. out of the car emerged none other than..... Billy Joel!!
'billy u know u really should stop drinking and driving,' prince said
billy replied.....

Xavier23 said:

Yo man..I heard about cho problem on the news...and on the way here, I crashed into a house while trying to buy a pizza...the roads were slippery ya know? Then I decided, "hey, why not make a "Movin' Out" remix with the sounds of a car actually crashing, instead of one just speeding away!" so I started drivin' really fast and ran into you...yo, lets throw the docta P into my trunk, and you and me can go to my buddy Elton J. , who has some sweet hookups that can help us with your problem...*So, Prince and Billy Joel throw Dr.Phil from the "7" video into the back of their trunk, haul off, and go to see what Billy's sweet hookup Elton J. has got to help them...*

Although she possessed a nasty habit of snoring like a chainsaw in the early morning sun, and would often loose her false front tooth at night—one time it even got wedged up in Prince’s anus—but that’s another stor

Moonwalkbjrain said:

Long time no see.

AsianBomb, can u make music as good as prince can do?

Haters.

DrFaustus said:

Every body move to the back of the buss.
Du ya wanna bump and strump with us...


Don't make me post that on the org.

RazzBeret said:

On the way to elton's house, prince digs into his pocket and finds the ticket the 'psycadelic electric pusscat new swingers club'
"oh shit,billy said, we gots to go there ,i heard them bitches be fine like a motherfucker'
"billy aren't u married? and i think my ears are bleeding from the profanity which just passed through them' prince said ' A man must stay true to his wife' prince said feeling very morally righteous
"lookey herr, Billy said, a man got to stay true to his feelings and right now i wanna be feeling on a sweet bitch's ass!
"oh no, Prince said, Billy thats the liquor talking, pull over and let me drive'
"fuck u and get ur hands off me, billy said, tonightt im gonna party like itz 199'
the beleaugered duo eventually reached the club but not before billy ran into
2 more houses, 4 parking meters, 9 dogs, 3 homeless persons and the side of a parked car in the club's parking lot. they walked up to the entrance of the club
only to be met by two big, burly bouncers
"great, prince said, what are we gonna do now?
"relax, i got this," Billy said
billy walked up to the bouncers and said:
"hey fashizzle mah nizzle in this clubizzle wid my dog princizzlle toniiiiigghhhttt"
"oh my gosh,Prince said, I didnt know u speak Sweedish"
"shut Up Fool," billy said
billy's prowess with words mangaed to get them into the club, the first person they saw in the club turned out ot be who else but.....

AsianBoi777 said:

i missed u too, ..and thank u 4 gettin rid of that scaaaary ass cript keeper avitar u had earlier

Xavier23 said:

LATOYA JACKSON!
"hey baby how bout that date?" , she said in that high voice of hers
prince feelin the temptation stuteringly said "uhh no i'm uhh married now"
"aww thats 2 bad we sure could have alot of fun", she said "how bout u billy baby u wanna ride?"
"hell yea!", said billy in a redneckky drunken slurr
billy left prince standing there in the middle of the club lookin stupidfied
what am i gonna do now , he thought just then the god voice from temptation pops in "o silly man ur not so silly anymore, r u still looking for the ladder?"
"the ladder?" prince said
"yes the ladder", boomed the voice "don't u want 2 save larry?....

Moonwalkbjrain said:

Suddenly, a bunch of techincal booms went off, and the God-like voice turned into the voice of a regular man, which turned out to none other than Billy's friend...Elton J.! "YO what be up mah mayne mayon Preee-ince" slurred Elton P. in a ghettologically intellectual voice. "Elton, cut the crap. We all know who you are. Now Billy said you have some sweet hookups than can help me save Larry, so...what chu got...?"

RazzBeret said:

Prince: "Where are you, by the way?"

Suddenly theres a flash of blinding and Eltons appears in front of Prince as a hologram.

Elton: "This better?"
Prince: "What tha...."
Elton: "Its called astral projection."
Prince: "Right..."
Elton: "Okay, listen. Larry has been kidnapped by ther girls."
Prince: "The girls? You mean...?"
Elton: "Thats right. Roin, Mayte, Apples, Jill, Ingrid, Lisa and Wendy."
Prince: "Not them again."
Elton: "They're still want revenge for you alledgedly ruinins their lives and so-called "careers".
Prince: "Careers? I thought Morris kept his part-time hoes on a full-time leash."
Elton: "He does. But he's been busy as up late. He's currently in negotiations with HBO for his own reality show called "Making The Bitch". Either that or "Surreal Pimpin."
Prince: "Hmp! Sounds like Morris."

Elton: "But look, you have 24 hours to give them what they want."
Prince: "My high boots."
Elton: "Not just any pair of your high boots, but your 'special' ones"
Prince: "Ah, not those."
Elton: "Im afraid so. If you don't give them the boots, they will strip Larry everything he holds dear to him. His manhood. His pride. His diggnity. And his mojo."
Prince: "OMG!! You mean..."
Elton: "Yes. They'll do 'it' to him. You know what you have to do."
Prince: "Yeah, I got the 'note' they left. But I don't understand.
How did they get in my house? How did they know to leave it in easter box in my drawer"
Elton: "Perhaps, they know better then you know yourself. All the intimacys you had with each of them..."
Prince: "Damn..."
Elton: "You know, Mayte wrote that note. As beautiful and sexy as she is, she never was all of the bright. You always had a fancy for them Anna Nicole sluts. Oh, and they also want you to come alone and naked. Mayte would've wrote it on the note, but uh, you already know... Unless you wanna go to the park naked in broad day light and be seen and make crazy healdines and spark controversy, I would suggest you go at night. Kinda remembers of a game I once played when I was younger with one my old ex's named George...."

Prince as he frowns up and cuts him : "Whoa...!"

Elton: "Okay, okay, never mind thats another story. You should go to the park after dark. You'd be risking waiting almost at the last minute to save Larry's "pride and diggnity", but it would be best if you don't wanna ruin your religious public person, you know? Im have to go. You know what you have to do. Good luck. May Jevoha be with you."

Elton's hologram vanishes in a flash of light.

Prince then....
[Edited 3/3/05 15:56pm]

OnionJuice said:

OnionJuice said:

starts to think up a plan to save his beloved larry. time is running out and the girls would show larry no mercy. as prince stands there Billy walks up to him
"ey yo man I gots to take care o some bu'nizz, tonight if u know what i mean,Billy said, as he grabbed his crotch and started waving his arms in the air
"Listen Billy we gotta go save larry from those crazy girls," prince said
"what girls?? Billy asked
"Ingrid Chavez, Apollonia, Jill Jones, Vanity u know the lot," prince said
"well what the fuck are we still doing here!,Billy said, lets go find them biatches"
the duo again hop in billy's car but his car is just way too damaged so they decide to hitchike from the club
"I hope we get picked up by some bi sexual college coeds who are in the mood to take a whole lot o my piano man," billy said
"u know billy im gonna take u to my church when we get back, U need some savior in ur life,"Prince said feeling like he was gonna make it to heaven after all
the two continue trying to flag down cars when a metallic grey lambourghini stops for them. as the front window gears down a vocie said "hi prince" Prince and Billy both stop dead in their tracks when they realise they were talking to none other than.....

OnionJuice said:

...Goes to get Billy, and asks if he can have his car. Billy declines, so Prince punches him out, and throws Billy in the trunk with Dr.Phil. As he speeds away, he notices some cops after him "Shit, I'm speeding." He says to himself. As he slows down to a hault, the cop stops and goes up to his car. However, the cop was none other than...

Xavier23 said:

Paris Hilton!!
"hey baby how bout i get in there and show u my pi-an-o man", Billy says to Paris
"like oh my god,Paris says, u totally carry around ur piano? thats hot." she says in that annoyingly stupid voice
"yeah,Billy says, i'm kinda attached to it" he says as grabs his crotch
Prince looks at both of them and thinks to himself to never invite Billy or Paris to his next bible study class
"listen paris we need to get to the Park right away," Prince says
"well, like totally, sure!,Paris says, hop in"
Billy pushes prince out of the way to get into the lambourghini
"damn billy watch what ur doin",prince says
"hey man i gots to handle my bu'nizz and this bitch right herr is gonna take it all baby, take all o my pi-an-o man", Billy says
prince ignores billy and really starts to worry about Larry . Larry really has never been out in the real world this long and especially with women. Prince hoping for the best, clings on to his special, all time favorite, hand sewn, Manolo Blahniks 5 inch Pumps. a tear comes to prince's eyes as he rememmbers the first time he laid eyes on 'Tata', his special name for the heels. He had to fight off 3 women to get it but it was well worth it
"Don't worry Larry im Gonna get u", Prince says as the car pulls into the park
"listen Paris we gotta go ,thanks 4 the lift", Prince says
Billy was just about to do something lewd when the sound of Wendy & Lisa's "waterfall" begins to play
"oh no,Prince says, im hope we're not too late"
"damn man i was just about to lay the smack down on that paris bitch ,billy says, u really aint the 'life o the party' as he walks away when all off of a sudden billy starts to scream as Prince runs over to investigate he finds what else.....

...Prince finds Billy layin on the ground.

Prince: "Billy, whats wrong?"
Billy: "DAMN! I tripped and fell right in dog shit. Its on my clothes, man! Do you know how much this shirt cost? Damn..."
Prince: "Egh! Stinks! Stand 10, 20 behind me..."

Prince looks at his watch; its 11:54pm. Its only a few minutes till midnight and few mintues till the 24 period has expired. Prince, runs with the boots in his hands and Billy not too far behind him, runs through the depths of the dark park.

Prince: "LARRY! Where are you? LARRY!"
Billy: "LARRY!"
Prince: "LAAA-RRY!"

*Billy looks down and notices a VHS tape on thee ground picks it up. The label has the word "The Unmancipation" in handwritting.*

Billy: "Hey, Prince! Check this out!"
Prince: "What is it?
Billy: "A VHS tape"
Prince: "'The Unmancipation?' What could it mean?"
Billy: "I dunno..."

*suddenly a female cop officer shows up with a flash light*

Cop: "Hey! What are you two doin in the park this late? And who are you looking for?"
Billy: "Officer! Thank God! Our friend...*cut off by Prince*"
Prince: "We're just lookin for a friend of ours, officer. We thought he was still here."
Cop: "Still here doing what...?"
Prince: "Ummm...playin basketball."
Cop: "The basketball court is back that way. Hey wait a minute, I know you. You're Prince."
Prince: "Yes, ma'am."

Cop: "My sister loves you to death. Listen, its past midnight. Y'all should not be out here especially this deep part of in the park. There's been talk of some sort of cult activity goin on. Some kinda sisterhood or something. We don't know much about them, but they're known to leave behind sex paraphernalia like dildos and stuff like that. We call them the "Dike Tribe" at the station. Oh, and we received several calls from people about an hour ago, claimin that they've heard some screaming coming from the park. They say it sounded like the voice of a man, screaming and pleading, like he was being totured."

Prince: "Wait a minute! You say an hour ago?"
Cop: "Yeah, just an hour ago. Just little bit after midnight.
Prince: "What do you mean a lil bit after midnight? Its only 11:57pm."
Cop: "No, sir! Its 12:57am. Your watch is an hour behind!"
Billy: OMG!!! We're too late!
Prince: "NOOOOO!!!!!"

Prince suddenly wakes up in bed. It was all just a bad dream. He's relieved. Its morning time. Mani is next to him asleep. He leans over and kisses on her the cheek. He hears the sound of little birds chriping outside of his window. He opens the door the window and walks out onto his balcony to sniff the clean morning air. Life is good. Jehova has blessed him. He has just signed a major movie deal to star in "Purple Rain 3: Graffit Bridge Reloaded", and life is good. Jehova has blessed him. He turns around and looks back into his bed room and see's Mani sleeping. Although she possesses a nasty habit of snoring like a chainsaw in the early morning sun, and would often loose her false front tooth at night — one time it even got wedged up in Prince’s anus — but that’s another story — she is as lovely as a one-off, non-contractual, multi-million dollar record deal. Jehova is good. Prince walks over to the large vanity in their bedroom and sits down to gets ready to apply his morning makeup. Mani would be awake in 3 hours and he needs all that time to apply the makeup just right and cover up his age and liver spots. He opens his makeup drawer. “Got Daymit,“ Prince said realizing he's out of his favorite Mary Kay base. Not to worry, he would just borrow some of Mani’s. Something seems odd. Like de'javu. Maybe its a regular routine. A coincidence. He opens up her makeup drawer. That’s when he discovered a VHS tape. And unlabled, uncased VHS tape.

Thinking its one of his and Mani's old sex tapes, Prince grins. But why is it out of their private stash? Maybe Mani was watching it...but then again, they always label their sextapes with kinky, freaky titles of their own and keep them cased safely. This tape is unlabled and uncased. Could Mani be having her own sercet adventures behind his back. Out of curosity, Prince puts the VHS tape in the VCR.

The video starts and shows Blair-Witch-Project-esque footage from a camcorder. It was shot in the park at night. Women are laughing. A man is screaming in agony. That guys voice is familar. The women sound familar as well. The visual becomes clearer. A man is tied and bent over a on something. A woman stands directly behind with her arms around his waist. Her hip collide with his buttocks. Somethings around her waist. The visual gets clearer. The man screams. His voice is very familar. The screams from the TV awakes Mani.

Mani: "Ohhh....Umph! Baby, what are you watching?"

The scene jumps to another. The man is on the ground with his legs up in the air. A woman is on top of him between his legs, and pounds her waist against his. The man screams until another woman sits directly on his face. His screams are now muffled. That voice is so familar. The scene jumps to another scene. The man's arms raised and chained to trees limbs. A woman with a vibrating object pokes him teasesingly in his face with it and walks behind and sticks it down below his back, causin his body to spazz incredibly. He screams and cries. Another scene. Long, decoratored fingernails clinch his buttocks tightly until it draws blood. Another scene. The man on his knees as a woman pounds her waist in his face. Then another. The man lays on the ground naked encircled by these women. One of the women, stand directly over him and urinates on him. Then another. A hand tightly gribs the man by the hair. Camera zooms in closely on his face with a blurry focus. The man is cryin and beggin them to stop. The woman taunt him. They slap him across his face. The focus finally clears up. Larry.

Prince: "NOOOOO!!!!!"

~This is what its like in the Dream Factory~
[Edited 3/3/05 23:46pm]

OnionJuice said:

damn

OnionJuice said:[quote]...Prince finds Billy layin on the ground.

Prince: "Billy, whats wrong?"
Billy: "DAMN! I tripped and fell right in dog shit. Its on my clothes, man! Do you know how much this shirt cost? Damn..."
Prince: "Egh! Stinks! Stand 10, 20 behind me..."

Prince looks at his watch; its 11:54pm. Its only a few minutes till midnight and few mintues till the 24 period has expired. Prince, runs with the boots in his hands and Billy not too far behind him, runs through the depths of the dark park.

Prince: "LARRY! Where are you? LARRY!"
Billy: "LARRY!"
Prince: "LAAA-RRY!"

*Billy looks down and notices a VHS tape on thee ground picks it up. The label has the word "The Unmancipation" in handwritting.*

Billy: "Hey, Prince! Check this out!"
Prince: "What is it?
Billy: "A VHS tape"
Prince: "'The Unmancipation?' What could it mean?"
Billy: "I dunno..."

*suddenly a female cop officer shows up with a flash light*

Cop: "Hey! What are you two doin in the park this late? And who are you looking for?"
Billy: "Officer! Thank God! Our friend...*cut off by Prince*"
Prince: "We're just lookin for a friend of ours, officer. We thought he was still here."
Cop: "Still here doing what...?"
Prince: "Ummm...playin basketball."
Cop: "The basketball court is back that way. Hey wait a minute, I know you. You're Prince."
Prince: "Yes, ma'am."

Cop: "My sister loves you to death. Listen, its past midnight. Y'all should not be out here especially this deep part of in the park. There's been talk of some sort of cult activity goin on. Some kinda sisterhood or something. We don't know much about them, but they're known to leave behind sex paraphernalia like dildos and stuff like that. We call them the "Dike Tribe" at the station. Oh, and we received several calls from people about an hour ago, claimin that they've heard some screaming coming from the park. They say it sounded like the voice of a man, screaming and pleading, like he was being totured."

Prince: "Wait a minute! You say an hour ago?"
Cop: "Yeah, just an hour ago. Just little bit after midnight.
Prince: "What do you mean a lil bit after midnight? Its only 11:57pm."
Cop: "No, sir! Its 12:57am. Your watch is an hour behind!"
Billy: OMG!!! We're too late!
Prince: "NOOOOO!!!!!"

Prince suddenly wakes up in bed. It was all just a bad dream. He's relieved. Its morning time. Mani is next to him asleep. He leans over and kisses on her the cheek. He hears the sound of little birds chriping outside of his window. He opens the door the window and walks out onto his balcony to sniff the clean morning air. Life is good. Jehova has blessed him. He has just signed a major movie deal to star in "Purple Rain 3: Graffit Bridge Reloaded", and life is good. Jehova has blessed him. He turns around and looks back into his bed room and see's Mani sleeping. Although she possesses a nasty habit of snoring like a chainsaw in the early morning sun, and would often loose her false front tooth at night — one time it even got wedged up in Prince’s anus — but that’s another story — she is as lovely as a one-off, non-contractual, multi-million dollar record deal. Jehova is good. Prince walks over to the large vanity in their bedroom and sits down to gets ready to apply his morning makeup. Mani would be awake in 3 hours and he needs all that time to apply the makeup just right and cover up his age and liver spots. He opens his makeup drawer. “Got Daymit,“ Prince said realizing he's out of his favorite Mary Kay base. Not to worry, he would just borrow some of Mani’s. Something seems odd. Like de'javu. Maybe its a regular routine. A coincidence. He opens up her makeup drawer. That’s when he discovered a VHS tape. And unlabled, uncased VHS tape.

Thinking its one of his and Mani's old sex tapes, Prince grins. But why is it out of their private stash? Maybe Mani was watching it...but then again, they always label their sextapes with kinky, freaky titles of their own and keep them cased safely. This tape is unlabled and uncased. Could Mani be having her own sercet adventures behind his back. Out of curosity, Prince puts the VHS tape in the VCR.

The video starts and shows Blair-Witch-Project-esque footage from a camcorder. It was shot in the park at night. Women are laughing. A man is screaming in agony. That guys voice is familar. The women sound familar as well. The visual becomes clearer. A man is tied and bent over a on something. A woman stands directly behind with her arms around his waist. Her hip collide with his buttocks. Somethings around her waist. The visual gets clearer. The man screams. His voice is very familar. The screams from the TV awakes Mani.

Mani: "Ohhh....Umph! Baby, what are you watching?"

The scene jumps to another. The man is on the ground with his legs up in the air. A woman is on top of him between his legs, and pounds her waist against his. The man screams until another woman sits directly on his face. His screams are now muffled. That voice is so familar. The scene jumps to another scene. The man's arms raised and chained to trees limbs. A woman with a vibrating object pokes him teasesingly in his face with it and walks behind and sticks it down below his back, causin his body to spazz incredibly. He screams and cries. Another scene. Long, decoratored fingernails clinch his buttocks tightly until it draws blood. Another scene. The man on his knees as a woman pounds her waist in his face. Then another. The man lays on the ground naked encircled by these women. One of the women, stand directly over him and urinates on him. Then another. A hand tightly gribs the man by the hair. Camera zooms in closely on his face with a blurry focus. The man is cryin and beggin them to stop. The woman taunt him. They slap him across his face. The focus finally clears up. Larry.

Prince: "NOOOOO!!!!!"

~This is what its like in the Dream Factory~
[Edited 3/3/05 23:46pm]
[/qu
OOOOOEEEEEWWEEEEEOOOOOWWWWWEEEEEWWWWWAAAAAHHHHH
Prince begins to cry as he relishes the thought of losing Larry.
"those bitches, im gonna... im gonna ... ruin their lives!!!!!, Prince shouts angrily. he stomps so hard his fake eylashes fall off
"uumm honey, mani says, are u okay?,
"no mani boo boo,Prince says, those girls, those damn witches they hurt Larry and betcha by golly wow im gonna make them pay for what they did to him."
just then the door bell rings
"wonder who that could be?, Prince asks
"probably those damn jehovah's witnesses again", Mani says
"hey! watch it", Prince says
Prince runs down stairs in his signature silk, figure skater pajamas and opens the door. much to his surprise he seees.....

Xavier23 said:

Lenny Kravitz.
'Hi Prince I'm on my way to Target, wanna come?'
'Lenny, this isn't a good time. Something horrible has happen to Larry and I must plot my revenge!'
'Whoa man! Wha up?'
Prince led Lenny inside and showed him the tape.
'Oooh, can I have a copy? That's better than the last porn I brought!'
'Lenny, I let you have anything you want, if you help me with my plan.'
Lenny readily agreed, already decided to have Prince lay a track on his next album in return.
'Here's what we're going to do...

littlemissg said:

'I'm Gonna release the Sign 'O' the Times concert dvd, Prince said,people are gonna watch it and then say hey isn't that Cat and Sheena E?? those no talent, no hack trick ass bitches along with Robin power, Ingrid Chavez , Jill Jones, Wendy and Lisa??. They wre never as Good as Prince, they were just back up attractions for him. Upon hearing these remarks the girls will then ensue in a power struggle and kill off each other in a mass suicide", Prince continued with an evil glare in his eyes
"eeerrmm, i dont think that is such a good plan Prince", Lenny says
"why not go on a world tour to show them that ur strong and u still got it"
"i cant go on a tour without LLLLLAAAAARRRRRYYYYY", prince says as he starts to wail. he cries so loudly that mani runs downstairs
"what's the matter honey?, she asks, ur eyeliner fell down the sink again?"
"no mani boo boo, he says as he wipes some snot from his nose, these are tears of expression. I'm expressing for... for... for..... LLLLLAAAAARRRRRYYYYY", Prince continues crying
"oh boy, this even worse than the time the avon lady threathened to cancel his invoice last month, mani says, Lenny u've got to do something"
"i know ,says prince in half speech - half sob way, why dont we just drive down to the park to them damn bitches hide out and kick their ass!"
"hey whenever it comes to kicking ass im ur man", Lenny says
"be careful honey,Mani says, it's a dangerous world out there"
"dont worry mani boo boo i've got jehovah on my side", prince says
Lenny and Prince run outside and jump in Lenny's portia and immediately start in the direction of the park, they speed down the road and quickly stopped by local traffic police.
"hey just be cool,Lenny says, i'm gonna handle this"
much to both of their surprise the police man turn out to be none other than....

Lenny: "Whoa! Its Arnold!!!"
Gary Coleman: "My name is Gary Coleman, Remember that! Thats Officer Coleman to you! Now license, please!"
Lenny: "I don't believe we're gettin a ticket from the kid with the 200 IQ."

*Prince remains quiet with tha smirk as Lenny digs in his pocket*

Lenny: "You have no idea who we are, do you?"
Gary: "I dont care who you are. THe law applies to every one. You passed the speed limit and didn't yield at the Yield sign. License!"
Lenny: "Fuckin midget asswipe..."
Gary: "Excuse me?"
Lenny: "I didnt say anything..."
Gary" "Thought so."

*Lenny continues to dig in his pockets*

Gary: "I dont have all day."
Lenny: "All of you Hollywood rejects are just alike."
Gary: "License!"
Lenny: "Come, lil guy! It ain't like we're smuggling dildos or anything."
Gary: "I don't know that. I didn't say you were."
Prince: "Chill, Lenny. He doesn't know about the two hookers in the trunk."
Gary: "Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny.
Lenny: "Yeah, its funny cause we really do have two hookers in the trunk."
Gary: "Yeah."
Lenny: "But seriously, we were in a rush to rescue this guy from totally getting butt raped by some crazy cult whores. I think their practicing some kind of Bitchcraft or something."
Gary: "You rock n roll guys have sick imagations..."
Lenny: "Dude, its true. Tell him, Prince!"
Gary: "Oh, yeah! He should know about that kinda stuff! LICENSE!"


*Lenny suddenly remembered that he left his wallet at his hotel room....on the dresser....right next to the snack of Mary Jane....that he smoked with those groupies he met the other night....at the club that exact night...all the way in New York....City....in the state of New York....which he caught a plane from yesterday.*

Lenny: "Oh....fuck...."
Gary: "You have your license, don't you?"
Lenny: "Oh, man...this is gonna make headlines"
Gary: "Step out of the car! Both of you!"
Lenny: "I can't believe we're about to get arrested & searched by lil Officer Arnold Coleman"
Gery: "Thats Officer Gary Coleman! Now get out! Now!"
Lenny: "Oh God! Somebody please tell me we're gettin Punk'd or something? Somebody please tell me that Aston is letting this migget do the 3rd season of Punk'd?"
Gary: "*sighs*....Damn! How did you know?"
Lenny: "Know what?"
Gary: "That you were getting...punk'd?"
Lenny: "Get the fuck outta here! Hahaha...I'm....we're gettin Punk'd! THe two of us getting Punk'd?"
Gary: "Yeah, yeah, yeah..."
Lenny: "Unfuckin believeable!"
Gary: What was it that gave me away? Was it the

Lenny: "Um....it was the, uhhh....the, uhhh....it was, uhhh...."
Gary: "Wait. Was it those camera guys behind those bushes?"
Lenny: "Uhh, yes! Yeah, that was so what it was, man!"
Gary: "Damn. I thought it was the mini-mic on the collar."
Lenny: "Yeah and that too!"
Gary: "Alright, alright. Get outta here.
Lenny: "Wait! Can you say it for me?"
Gary: "Say what? What you wanna hear?"
Lenny: "You know what Im talkin about. 'It'. The line."
Gary: "NO! I damn near kicked that Robert Van Winkle's ass for trya for me to say!"
Lenny: "Ahh, okay..."
Gary: "Oh, and Lenny....lay off the weed."
Lenny: "Huh? Dude, Im not high. Do I really look stone?"
Gary: "I can smell it on you from out of here."
Lenny: "Oh, no, no, no! Thats the, uh.....the car freshener. I swear."
Gary: "Yeah, whatever. Getta here. Love your music, Prince"
Prince: "Thanx...Arnold!"
Gary: "Hey!!!!"

*Lenny floors the gas pedal and speeds droves off with the tires screeching..."


And Prince & Lenny are off to.....
[Edited 3/5/05 21:24pm]

The White Mansion, the notorious women's flop/whore house where even the police and angels are afraid to tread.
'Yikes Prince! We can go in there, a man wouldn't last five minutesin there!" Lenny said ready to burn out there as fast as they came.
'I know, but I know this is the only place those biatches could hope to hide from me.' Prince said, anger glowing brightly in his eyes.
'We'll get a room in the motel across the street facing the White Mansion, and wait for them to come out.'
Lenny pulled the car into the motels driveway. Prince would check in while Lenny goes to Target to get supplies for their stake-out.
'Remember, get Cool Ranch Doritos,toothbushes, and some oil-free foundation and press powder in my shade!' Lenny nodded and sped away. Prince spotted movement in the bushes outside the motel. Acting as he was going to walk past, Prince suddenly sprung onto the hidden figure. It was no other than Tina Graham!
'Tina what are you doing here?' a very surprised Prince asked.
'I'm here to avenge my Larry Pooh!' Tina said fighting tears. 'Come on up I got a room on the second floor. I saw you coming and I though those whores might see you and come out.'
Tina & Prince climbed the stairs to Tina's room. Inside the shabby room was a orange shag carpet and king-sized bed with a brass headboard.

'Prince I have a plan' Tina said as she pulled out a semi-automatic handgun.
'Great Jevoha! Tina have you lost your mind!!' Prince yelled taking the gun away. Tina began to sob deeply and laid her head on Prince's shoulder.
'My poor, poor Larry! He hasn't been the same, he's a hollow shell of the man he was! I feel so alone! BooooHoooHooo!'
'There, there everything will be alright, I promise.' Prince said patting Tina's back.
'You're a good friend Prince, such a good friend you wouldn't let me down, would you?' Tina sobbed
'Of course not, if there's anything I can do' Prince replied.
'Well, Larry hasn't been able to ah...help me. It's going to be a long night Sweet Prince, why not make the best of it?'
Prince's eyes opened wide, ' Uh, Tina?'
'It's a one in a million chance of a lifetime. Com'on baby let me show you how good Jevoha can be'. Tina whispered in Prince's ear.
'TT-Tina!' Prince exclaimed pushing her away, 'You're old enough to be my mother!'
'All cats are gray at night my precious Prince.' Tina replied stepping forward.
'I never had a cat that gray before!' Prince said trying to stop Tina's advances.
'I,m not that gray, not as long as there is Dark N' Lovely Midnight Black #704!'
'That's what I use!' Prince exclaimed just before Tina grabbed Prince's collar, and inserted her eager tongue into his mouth.

'HUMMMP!, UMMM, Mmmmmm..' Prince quickly ceased struggling as the horny toad in him took over. He pressed Tina against the tall window of the room as his hands worked their way up Tina skirt to remove her control-top pantyhose.
'Damn! How did you get all of that in there???' Prince asked unbelieving.
'The question is; How are you going to get all of that in there?' Tine said smiling as she fingered Prince's fly. Prince smiled as Tina slid down his zipper and freed him.

Suddenly...
[Edited 3/8/05 16:05pm]