One day Prince and his staff were surfing the internet looking for bootleggers. Prince being ever curious, decided to lurk on Prince.Org.
"Good Gawd!" Exclaimed Prince, "Don't these people have lives?"

Prince read endless dicussions on everything from what his next project will be, who did he sleep with, will he and Mani split up, what was his best album. Prince read through the website and came across a thread called 'Prince Gets ORG-A-TISED: A Story.' Prince did know to laugh, sue, or seek professional psychological help for these people. Prince then thought about his own website, which he had to admit to himself, is boring. Prince in a stroke of inspiration quickly sent an orgnote to the moderators saying...

...Dear Prince.org, Would u mind if I linked my "U Tell Us" forum 2 ur forum? I really dig what u've done with the place. My place needs a lil' more sanity. I'll give u anything in xchange. Thanks 4 considering this offer. 3121 always, Prince.

Later that day, Prince receives an orgnote back from Prince.org, and it reads as follows...
[Edited 2/15/05 17:10pm]

Snap said:

Dear Prince,
We are flattered by your interest in Prince.Org, and would like to discuss your proposal in detail. We have an obiligation to the Prince.Org members, your fams, to keep the site a zone of free expression. We are sure a mutually satisfactory arrangement can be made. I believe I speak for all the members when I say greater access to all thing Prince would be the best arrangement.

Sincerely,

Your Fams at Prince.Org

linked by instant messaging Matt, Tom, Handclapsfingasnapz, Luv4u, Anxiety, Squirrelgrease, Bananacologne, June7, and Sogemini await a response.

Matt dreams of the new tattos he could get it Prince backs up his offer with cash. Squirrelgrease hyperventilates in a paper bag from the excitement. Handclapsfingasnapz neveriously stokes the kitten in her lap, and dreams of private concerts. Bananacologne is tended by EMTs performing CPR. Luv4U imagines escaping the canadian winter with a trip to the Nelson's home in the Hollywood Hills. June7 fingers itch as he imagines being inside the famous vault. Anxiety lives up to her name. Sogemini enjoys a sandwich with extra meat because he may be getting nothing but veggies soon.

At last there is a reply...

Breathlessly awaiting the next development....

Dear True Funk Soliders at Prince.Org,
Would like to bring 1 hundred of Ur members out for the 3121 Xperience in Hollywood all expenses paid, 2 give U as you asked, greater access 2 all things Prince. will leave it up 2 decide which members come. Please forward a list by Friday so travel arrangements can B made. 1 more thing, all attendess must sign a code of conduct drawn up by my legal representives.

May you live to see the dawn,
Prince

The screams ofthe Mods could be heard all over the globe, except from Bananacologne who was getting another round of CPR. However they knew they had a difficult task to perform, selecting the 100 members to go meet Prince. Ideas were bounced back and forth. When Luv4U suggested...
[Edited 2/16/05 15:49pm]

Why don't we have a Prince-Karaoke contest to find out who goes???

RazzBeret said:

"That's not a bad idea. But how do we do that on the internet?" Matt asked.

Bananacologne recovered enough to type his suggestion,"Why don't we...

Have an American Idol setup featuring all active org members, live, in Mpls!

While the Mods debated, Prince's people emailed the Code of Conduct.

It read:

The Code of Conduct for Prince.Org

This guideline for acceptable behavior is in addition to any confidentiality agreement enforced by Prince, P.R. Nelson, and Paisley Park Enterprises . Failure to follow the following guidelines may result in immediate expulsion and/or legal action.

I promise to sign all legal releases and confidentiality agreements to be given access to the studio and residences of Prince as know as P.R. Nelson or as The Artist Currently Known as Prince.

I agree to obey all local, state, and federal laws.

I agree to be considerate to others and have LOVE4ONEANOTHER.

I agree to refrain from taking unauthorized photography.

I agree to watch Purple Rain, Griffiti Bridge, and Under the Cherry Moon as many times as the host chooses to show them.

I agree to not use audio or visual recording devices including picture phones.

I agree not to attempt to kill, maim or otherwise harm Prince, his wife, associates, employee, and current or former band members.

I agree not to bring fast food onto the premises, especially meat products.

I agree not to touch Prince’s hair or makeup because that really sets him off.

I agree not to make sly remarks to or about Manuela Testolini while plotting to take her place.

I will not: A) offer to f*ck the taste out of Prince’s mouth. B) offer to take Prince around the world in a day. C)make other tasteless offers.

I agree under no circumstances will I fondle, attempt to fondle, or ask to fondle Prince’s naughty bits. However, if Prince should offer his naughty bits for fondling, individual discretion may be use in accordance with the agreement of confidentiality.

I will not attempt to remove, borrow, or take any property without the express permission of Prince or his designates.

I understand that Prince, Pasiley Park Enterprises or other related interest are not responsible for the personal property of visitors.

I agree while in the presence of Prince, and Associates, I will not do impersonations of said persons. This includes wearing assless pants.

I ,the underside, hereby promise to conform and obey the Code of Conduct. I understand failure adhere to the above code will be grounds for forceful ejection by security, and/or a butt kicking, and/or burial in a shallow unmarked grave.


"That's about what I expected" Anxiety said.

"Hmmm, maybe that will cut out some of the freaks" June7 said

"Nah!" The others replied.

Just then...

Snap said:

Prince, we thank you for your interest in Prince.org, we are not interested in your offer as we love things the way they are here. We ain't giving you the key to our front door.

Peace,

luv4u
Prince.org Moderator

luv4u replies...

"Prince, we thank you for your interest in Prince.org, we are not interested in your offer as we love things the way they are here. We ain't giving you the key to our front door.

Peace,

luv4u
Prince.org Moderator"

...as a diversion. Prince may get the keys to the front door, but he knows nothing about the super secret grotto where all the really funky stuff happens.

Prince is goes on Prince.org and finds a thread called "When is Prince gonna give us something we want?" and reads it.

Prince pulls the lolli-dildo out of his mouth and then asks Mani what she thinks of this. Mani saids "well baby, I think you should give them what they want. I mean, how else are you gonna make up for 2 two-hours of life they lost from watching Graffiti Bridge?" Prince replies "Go to your room, hoe".

LOL! Prince, Prince...I know you're reading this right now, I was just only joking. Your wife is beautiful lady and all that. But Im just sayin you need to release a Crystal Ball 2, for real though. That would be the shiznit!

littlemissg said:

...that a "salute to public servants" would be a noble gesture, so the field was quickly narrowed by limiting eligibility to all those--firefighters, police, paramedics, military--who wear a uniform while serving their community!!

(yeah, it's corny, but c'mon, I had to come up with SOME angle that would whittle down the numbers AND allow me to make the cut!!! )

Squirrelgrease said, "We have deadline! Let the first 100 members to post to this thread go to Hollywood!".

The other Mods agreed, and immediately posted. The wait began for the next 92 post...
[Edited 2/17/05 16:36pm]

littlemissg said:

The first post came from Littlemissg.

"I'll tell my boss I have the flu." said Littlemissg as she packed her bags.

The replies came quickly. hilton02895, AsianBomb777, Nothinbutjoy, CandanceS, OnionJuice, Xavier23, Razzberet, Snap,Miguelgomez,estelle1981, Wasitgood4u, SisforScandalous, Sexkitten04,GlamSlam, FoxxeManniGann, PiscesGlenn, Cinnamonjo, roodboi, SuzySue, GoldStar, Jonty1975, skywalker...

Until the quota was met. Most were unbelieving until they received their travel arrangements. The Orgers flew in to California and gathered in a private lounge at the LA Airport. The anticipation was unbelievable with every seemingly speaking at once. Suddenly, the room grew silent when...

Asianbomb wrote:


Dear Prince,

I want my copies of Crystall Ball Damnit.
Why The F@CK did you charge me for them and never send that shit to me?

The joke's on you this time, my friend--I have your penis in a jar.

As is evident from your Gansta Glam video, your penis has been
missing a while (see exibit 1.1).

Please send Crystall Ball, The Dawn, and a copy of Roadhouse Garden
to my address--only then will you be able to aquire
your penis again.

--AsianBomb777

Exhibit 1.1 - Prince's missing penis

AsianBomb777 said:

AsianBomb777 was laughing hysterically at the thought of finally getting his long awaited due after all these years, when..

"Mr. Bomb, come with us." Three huge muscular men in black suits had surrounded him. "Who, who are you?!" AB asked surprised. "We are the P. R. Nelson Enterprises Security Task Force. We lured you to California where there are laws against the unlawful transport of penis for illegal and illicit purposes."

AsianBomb777 grabbed his carry-on bag and held it above his head. "STAY BACK OR YOUR PRECIOUS PRINCE'S PENIS WILL BE PERMANENTLY PERFORATED WHEN I SMASH THE JAR!"

The security team step closer, "That's not Prince's penis, It's his bodydouble's. You've needed a much bigger jar for his. Do you really think he's been doing without a penis all this time?" With that AsianBomb777 was dragged away screaming.

"You've thought the cheap bastard would have just brought the albums by now. Tsk Tsk Tsk." Littlemissg said as AsianBomb777 was driven away.

A limo drove up and out of it emerged...
[Edited 2/18/05 16:40pm]
[Edited 2/18/05 16:41pm]

Out of it emerged Michael Jackson with Prince's penis permanently inserted in his anus to match his permenent eyeliner.


Michael said...

Michael said... "that's ignorant... you're being ignorant!"

sexkitten04 said:

"It certainly is!" Behind Michael stood the Governuh Ahnold Schwarzenegger.

"Hello, I have come to welcome you visituhs to our fair State of California. I met Prince at the Golden Globes, I was sitting in front of him blocking his view, so I have to make it up to him. Please enjoy the many attractions such as the beautiful vistas, the beaches, the stores, and things like that. Try not to be frightened by the pollution, the drivers on the highways, the crime, and such like that. I, the Governuh, can assure you that my administration and I are on the case. Now who would like an autograph?"

"Ummm, Mister Governor sir, Why is Michael Jackson with you?" Someone in the crowd asked.

"I hired Arnold to be my body guard while my trail is going on. I'm paying him double what he makes as Governor, but he still has to perform his offical duties." MJ explained.

"Oooh!" the Orgers replied.

Just then there was an announcement over the loudspeaker.

"Attention Prince.Org. Please leave your luggage and follow the purple brick road to your busses."

The group looked down to see that on the floor a purple brick road had been painted that led through a side exit door. The group moved toward the door, just as CandanceS was about to open it, it swung open. Two Security guards preceded Prince. The crowd cheered, Prince raised his hands and signaled for quiet. The room hushed, and Prince spoke...

how lame

Dear Prince,

IF DID COME. I went to thank You for come to Prince.org,You been so open mined about what people have to say and that they think about you and fan clubs.
You picking 100 fan,( well I think that your a pretty COOL guy!!!!!)







From Roseland