Yes, this is another Prince story thread!

I'll start.

It was a dark and stormy night a couple of days before New Years Eve. Prince and Mani were discussing the coming new year 2005 with much excitement. Prince was saying"And once the new album is finished, I'll put it in the vault for a few months while I feed the anticipation to a feverish level then release it! "Isn't that what you always do, Babe?" sighed Mani. " Yeah, I am good at it!" prince said smiling, but then turned serious. "Mani there is something important we need to discuss...
[Edited 12/21/04 16:56pm]

"Mani, I want beans for dinner. I want a bean feast."

"But Princeybubbles, we don't have any beans."

"If I can't have it, I'm going to scream."

And that's when the aliens appeared.

Anxiety said:

LMAO. What is wrong with you????

Anxiety said:

But only they were not aliens, they were Larry and Tina dressed in alien costumes. Prince said, "Larry you look like an ass. And Tina, i'm so surprised how you would look so corny, don't you idiots know that its Christmas, not Halloween!!!! I would tell you to go to my closet to pick out a colorful suit to wear to the Jehovah Hall, but your dumbass would probably try to unlock my vault again". Mani yelled, "Honey, thats enough, not everyone has been exposed to many holidays, religions and sexual positions as you have. You mustn't talk to them in that manner. Prince replied, "Baby ur right. I apologize to dumb and dumber. Now grab my pimp cane so we can run Larry and T back to their crib." Mani, replied, "well there is one more thing we need to do b4 we go". Prince looked back at her and said....

missfee said:

Hilarious!

"Get my Batman cape, and your Wonder Woman costume. I feel like taking pictures." "Again!!" Mani said throwing her hands up. "What are your doing with those pictures?" I'm sending them to Bananacologne at the Org so she'll stay" Prince replied. "Do you really think that will work?" asked Mani. "It's worth a try." said Prince. "I don't think it will, those Orgers are never satisfied." Prince mumbled,"You're probably right, too bad she's very nice." "Well why don't the four of us...
[Edited 12/21/04 18:54pm]

...get down on this floor and do some nasty shit together."
It was at that very moment that a flash of light appeared and Prince found
himself miraculously and unexplainably teleported into a dark dingy chamber
where he was tied to what appeared to be an old electric chair.

A tall lean female figure (about 7 feet tall) with a tight black leather mask
on, revealing only her mouth and chin walked from a dark corner of the room
and into the light.

"Hello, Lover, “The voice introduced itself in a deep sultry voice.

"Bee?", Prince asked, "Bee Arthur?"

"Shut, up Bitch, " The voice said.

"I'm gonna give you two choices, " She said sounding increasingly agitated, as she presented Prince with a plate of the bloodiest, most undercooked t-bone steak Prince had ever seen.

"You either eat this shit, " our you're gonna have to eat....


.
[Edited 12/22/04 14:11pm]

AsianBomb777 said:

"My pasty, cakey, Beaver"
"What?" Prince replied
Bea quickly splits open her leather vest with paisleys throughout and revealed the cutest little beaver cake. It had the sweetest white frosting on it.
Prince sighed in obvious relief and said....

...thank god, I though you were gonna make me eat Tina again. Last time I tried to make it with her, Larry kept trying to conjure up Sly's spirit. That really annoys me, I think he loses it sometimes. I don't mind all different kinds of beaver, but if i had my pick, i'd pick V again. I've never tasted a beaver as sweet as hers.

She told him.."bitch did i say speak?" He grumbled and said "no headmaster." She reached down in her magic bag and pulled out...
[Edited 12/22/04 14:51pm]

... a Michael Jackson's Invincible CD.

Prince stared at it for about 10 seconds and finnaly said....



.
[Edited 12/22/04 14:58pm]

AsianBomb777 said:

"Musicology pisses on Invincible. Is this suppose to scare me or something? Shyt I bet if u put me in my studio, I can turn Invincible into a musicology multiplatinum hit. Tell me what you want me to do gyrl?"....

missfee said:

"Bitch please!!" was the reploy Prince recieved rather promptly, "Try selling Musicology outside one of yo purplepalooza concerts, we'll see how much that bitch sells."

At that momment Vigo Mortesson walks inot the room and says ...

AsianBoi777 said:[quote]

missfee said:

"There you are Great Musician! How do you like my friend Maude?"
"Not much, my wife is sooo much better at S&M!" replied Prince
"Be gone to your hole! You've failed the audition!" Viggo told Bea
"Damn, I haven't worked in ages, and I need a whole body lift, shift, and replacement!" Bea said crying as she walked through the rooms only door.
"Prince, my friend, if you're interested in returning to the big screen, there is a part in the next RINGS movie that your would be perfect for." Vigoo told a curious Prince. "I may try acting again it the right part came along. What is it? A sexy king, a mystical wiseman? " asked Prince. Viggo shook his head, "No it's a...
[Edited 12/22/04 17:37pm]

.




"No, replied " Viggo, " You guessed wrong."
Prince thouht and thought, ' I ain't seen that muthafucka in any damned film before, and all of a sudden his ass is all over the place--what role could he possibly play?

"Times, up, " replied Viggo, "I'm gonna try out for the part of O.J. simpson in the upcoming movie about his life."
"O.J. Muthafuckin SImpson????" Prince screamed, "YOU aiiiiinnnnn''t BLACK!!!!!"

"Neither is O.J., if U think about it, " Viggo replied.
"bitch, shutup," Prince yelled back at Viggo, " U got no repsect for the art of movie making."
"Well, not everybody's looking for f@cking Graffiti Bridge, Bitch" Viggo said.

It was at that momment that prince felt a sharp pain on the back of his neck.

He reached back....


.
[Edited 12/22/04 17:48pm]
[Edited 12/22/04 17:48pm]

AsianBomb777 said:[quote].
It was at that momment that prince felt a sharp pain on the back of his neck.

He reached back.... [/b][/color]

and felt a metal cable stuck in the base of his skull. The world swirled, and turned icy cold and he couldn't breath. Prince struggled to get to his feet but discovered he has in slippery goo. Suddenly, the lid on his pod opened and Prince could see all around him. There were thousands of identical pods with people in them. Prince gasped! He has in The Matrix! A spider like robot disconnected him from the machinery, and flushed him down the drain. Prince tried to swim but found his body too weak! Panic and confusion clouded his mind as he struggled to stay alive. When he was about to go under...
.
[Edited 12/22/04 17:57pm]

littlemissg said:[quote]

AsianBomb777 said:

Night took him.
Was it minutes?
Was it days?
Who knows, but when Prince awoke he discovered that his left leg had been amputated, and a large metal pole was sticking out of his ass.

He struggled to get up but discovered that he was unable to move on account that sonmeone had stapled his scrotum to a wooden board that he was lying on.

He winced out in pain, calling to the only person that he could think of--the only person who has ever been there for him when he needed help....

"LARRY!" cried Prince wincing in pain. "LARRY! GET YO ASS OVER HERE AND HELP ME!"
no one showed up.
"LARRY!" the cried continued until his voice was strained and tears were welling up in his eyes from the pain of the pole in his ass and the fact that his balls were stapled to a board didn't help. suddenly Prince heard steps echoing down a distant hallway. hope restored he tried once more to call out to the almighty larry. "LARRY! oh thank Jehovah that u've come i..."
but it wasn't larry it was....

It was Mayte Garcia with a moustache.

"WTF happenned to U?" Prince asked.

Mayte told him everything. How she had hooked up with Tommy Lee, caught some strange sexually transmitted disease, had to have her boobs taken off, and vagina essentially gutted. It started in her toes, spreadup up her legs causing swelling, blistering of the skin, sweating, adbnormal hair growth, fowl body oder, loss of teeth, swollen tongue, red eyes, chapped lips, and low self-esteem. The worse part was the only way to reverse the affects was to go on months of hormone treatment--ergo, her moustache. She continued to talk about...

"Mayte??" interupted Prince.
"My balls are still stapled to this board, " Prince whimpered, " could you trouble yourself to help me out."

"I got a plan," Mayte said....

This has nuthin 2 do w/ this but u all r hilarious!

The plan is...lets go crazy, lets pretend we are married...lets have a baby again...lets
[Edited 12/22/04 19:59pm]

AsianBomb777 said:

"The first thing im gonna do is put 10 pieces of ice in my mouth and attach my lips to your balls. This will deaden the pain."
Prince says, "Just like old times except its ice instead of hampster gizz."
"Yeah, looking back I probably shouldnt have licked those hampsters but they were so tasty."
Prince stopped her "Enough rehashing!!, What are you gonna do with my cold, stapled balls?"
Mayte gives a sheepish grin and replies.....

DarkKnight1 said:[quote]

AsianBomb777 said:

"I going to sell them on ebay you, little purple bastard! Then, I going to give you a very large dose of my hormone replacement therapy, and then we'll see how much your little assistant Manuela likes you!" "I want my mommy!!" screamed Prince, struggling helplessly. The room seemed to tilt to an angle, and Prince found himself face to face with...
[Edited 12/22/04 20:34pm]

both Wendy n Lisa standing bare naked, caressing each other singing the song...

...singing a folk-style rendition of Sugar Walls.

They walked up to Mayte and Prince.

"Oh, My God, what happenned?" Lisa said.

Prince told them the whole story, how he was just trying to enjoy New Years Eve, and found himself here with a missing leg, a metal pole in his ass, and his balls stapled to the wooden board.

Mayte noticed that Wendy appeared to be very pale.

"What happenned to you?" Mayte asked.

Wendy went on to explain how she had taken a trip to go rock climbing in Borneo, and was bitten by a ravenous python and she caught a strange and rare disease. It started at the bite mark on her leg, causing swelling, sweating, blistering of the skin, abnormal hair growth, swelling in the groin, uncontrollable pain, discoleration of the genitals, rapid breathing, and low self-esteem. She then went on to talk about how she had gone through extensive therapy, and how...

"Excuse me?" Prince interuppted, " would yall trouble yourselves to UNstaple my balls and help me up?"

"I have a plan, " Lisa said.



.
[Edited 12/23/04 4:03am]

AsianBomb777 said:

Lisa reached into her purse where she carried the medications for her various conditions, and pulled out a purple pill. "I don't need a heartburn pill woman! Undo my balls and help me!" Prince yelled in frustration. "Prince, this is a reality re-alignment pill, swallow this and you will be free." Lisa explained. "I took reality alternating pills in the Eighties, and they don't free you! How is that going to free me?" "Swallow It Punk!" Lisa said as she shoved the pill down his throat. Prince found himself dressed in strange clothing, surrounded by strange people working intensely around him. Prince realized he was the Captain of the Enterprise! Prince jumped up from the command chair, and yelled...
[Edited 12/23/04 15:52pm]

littlemissg said:

littlemissg said:

"GOOD GOOGA-MOOGA"
Then Godzilla flew into Space to engage in a spectacular Funk battle with the artist and the aforementioned beast. The battle was ferocious and eventually Godzilla was scared away when he saw Tommy Barbarella; his androgeny was just too much to bear.

Spookymuffin said:

Tommy beamed aboard, and said "Captain Nelson, I've been expecting you." Prince in his red and black Next Generation uniform replied " What the Vulcan is going on here?!" "Let's go to sick bay and I'll explain." Tommy said leading Prince to the turbolift. "Dr. Crusher will see you now Captian", the Medical Ensign said. "Mani!!!" Prince cried with relief, "I am so glad to see you!" " My Precious Prince, you're jumping from reality to reality due to a rift in the space/time continuium. We have to work quickly to get you back to our reality before you're lost forever! Quickly take my hand! Prince reached for Mani, and touched a bongo. Prince looked around him and everything was in black and white. He was dressed in a zoot suit and was standing in the middle of a night club. The music started and Princ sang and beat the bongo,

"I love Mani and she loves me
We're as happy as two can be
Sometimes we quarrel but then
How we love making up again
Mani kisses like no one can
She's my Mrs. and I'm her man
And life is heaven you see
'Cause I love Mani
Yes I love Mani
And Mani loves me! "

Mani was sitting a table near the stage, she ran to his arms at the end of the song. Even in black and white he could see her hair was a flaming red color. "Hold tight Prince! We're getting out of here!! Suddenly they were...
[Edited 12/23/04 18:55pm]

littlemissg said:

in color. “Mani where are you!” Prince cried, looking for her in a frantic search of the backstage area. Prince was in a white stage costume holding his guitar. “Maybe I made it back” thought Prince. Prince heard the crowd beyond chanting “LARRY! LARRY! LARRY!” “Larry must be laying it down!” said Prince to himself. Prince’s band ran pass him toward the stage. Prince ran after them up the rear stage steps to the familiar in-the-round-stage where deep red spot lights were all centered on Larry. The band struck up his most famous chord, and Larry sung:

I never meant 2 cause U any pain
I never meant 2 lead U into sin
I only wanted one time 2 see U praying
I only wanted 2 see U repenting in the burgundy rain

Burgundy rain, burgundy rain
Burgundy rain, burgundy rain
Burgundy rain, burgundy rain
I only wanted 2 see U praise Jehovah in the burgundy rain

Prince passed out...

Prince awoke to Mani, Larry, and Tina standing over him with worried looks. “Prince, are you ok man?” Prince was on the floor, he tried to sit up, but Mani held him down with a firm hand. “Don’t honey. You were hit over the head.” Mani said, “The paramedics are on the way.” “Ww-what happened?” Prince asked more confused than ever. “When we were leaving to take Larry and Tina home, Your giant gold plated unpronounceable symbol over the front door fell on you!” Mani explained. “Thank Jehovah your all right!” said a relieved Tina. “Uh, so there is no rift in the time/space continuum?” Prince asked. Larry answered, “Buddy, you better lie still.” The paramedics arrived and gave Prince a full examination, and loaded him in the ambulance with Mani’s encouragement, to get x-rays at the hospital. Mani rode in the ambulance with Prince. In Prince’s private hospital room, the emergency room doctor had news for him . . .