An excerpt from the forthcoming episode of 60 Minutes premeiring this Sunday.

Andy Rooney's segment.

I liken being a Prince fan to a being a consumer at Wal-Mart...

There are folks of all walks of life there: All races, creeds and colors
the poorest of the poor, the richest of the rich.
those who are there for necessity,
those who are there because they don't have anything else to do with their money,
there are some who are just old and crabby and have to go (despite how much they say they hate
doing so) because it's a weekly habit.

Face it, if you've been to Wal-Mart more than likely you're gonna come back for something
because it's a practical place to be. There's truly something there for everyone.

But these days, Wal-Mart won't carry compact discs with obscene lyrics and images. That damn family oriented schtick irritates the hell out of me especially when that place used to rock so hard.

The security system is something to talk about too.

If someone shoplifts at Wal-Mart and gets caught by one of the security cameras, they are
going to be punished to the fullest extent of the law under Wal-Mart policy. You may not
agree with the punishment but if that shoplifter had read the big blue sign at the entrance
way of the automatic door, they obviously knew the risk they were taking.

Just 2 months ago, Wal-Mart had some merchandise that still hasn't hit the shelves yet. I sent my buddy who happens to be an employee into the back room to "give it to me in advance". He got caught and now he's facing the same consequences. I swear they can be real bastards sometimes.

And why doesn't Wal-Mart have those "Blue Light Specials" like K-Mart has. I'm no Sam Walton, but it seems to me Wal-Mart would be a better place if they had 'em. I don't care if they have proven themselves to be a successful entity time and time again.

And what's up with that cheesy-looking badly photoshopped smiley face they use? Technology has come a mighty long way since the 70s. Why can't they upgrade?
And that slogan, 'Always Low Prices'. Always my ass.

Now, I can be pissed for days and rant and rave about how they used to be so cool
back in the day, and how it's so unfair for them to be such a big corporation who loves to shit on the little guy, and explain how the only reason they are relevant today is because they
cheated the system etc.

But when I run out of food, socks, drawers, or school supplies for the kids, I really can't
say "I'll never shop there again."

Face it, if you've been to Wal-Mart more than likely you're gonna come back for something
because it's a practical place to be.

Think about that Prince fans.

I'm Andy Rooney... See ya next Sunday to bitch about some more trivial shit.

did u write this? very good -- certainly got his style down

Snap said:

ok i think so? what it seem like?????

PRINCE IS GONNA SUE ANDY ROONEY!!!

Anxiety said:

ok didnt i see this same xact pic on the prince in comics thread?

ABeautifulOne said:

Anxiety said:

so i did-call me dumbazz king of all dumb detectives/heehee

Anxiety said:

ROFLMAO!!! THIS IS SOME COLD SHIT!