New Musical Express
April 12, 1986


Sometimes it pisses down in April

I TOOK 'Kiss' as a signal that we were being ushered back into the compressed, airtight funkworld of 'Dirty Mind'. Didn't flip over the song itself - slick metronome sexgospel - but what a relief to hear that funky, flecked, flicking guitar again.

It turns out we're not going back to that springy, spunky sound after all - 'Kiss' is on its own as a throwback to 'Head' and 'Party Up' and 'Do It All Night'. Not that Prince doesn't still have a filthy little mind, of course, just that these days he doesn't speak it quite so economically. It's all mixed he doesn't really know how to express, and that's become a drag.

A few things have changed since 'Around The World In A Day', it's true. For starters, there are no printed lyrics, so i don't have to pretend to have given his twee and icky poems my most careful consideration. Then for seconds there's no purple or paisley stuff on the sleeve - just plain ol' black and white narcissim (another throwback to 'Dirty Mind'). Most important, Prince isn't being such a sourpuss primadonna anymore. There I was thinking the little mulatto Amadeus was on the edge of a breakdown and suddenly he's all happy and relaxed and flirty in the 'Kiss' video.

Trouble is, i actually think 'Around The World In A Day' was the better record. For all its neo-psychedelic silliness it had three great songs, which is about three more than 'Parade' has - nothing here as witty as 'Pop Life', as mournful as 'America', or as anguished as 'Condition Of The Heart'. The worst thing about Prince's "maturity', if we can call it that, is that he has given up writing great songs - songs like 'When You Were Mine' - as a matter of course. I mean, if he can find time to bestow a morsel like 'Manic Monday' on four desperate California chicks who will probably never have another hit record in their lives, surely he could craft the odd decent tune for himself.

Prince, instead of writing simple, succinct, sexy songs, is always trying to save the world, which means that he is never content with anything but grandiose 'Sgt Pepper' albums where all the songs run into each onther and vast orchestras make a lot of superfluous noise. He is a master architect of sound but he will show off and spoil it all. His Rundgren-esque technosoup of Sly and Stevie Wonder is beginning to get very predictable.

The LP opens with 'Christopher Tracy's Parade', a typical fanfare for his highness 'Disneyland soundscape and pretty much a follow-through from the ambience of 'Paisley Park'. Who this tracy fellow is I don't know, though going by the closing elegy of 'Sometimes It Snows In April', I would guess that he is a deceased pal of the Minneapolitan midget's.

'New Position' follows with steel drums, a hard pop-funk beat, and yer basic lewd double entendre. Guitarist Wendy picks up for the strange, brief interlude of 'I Wonder U' (performances seem more democratically delegated this time around: P. isn't being such a spoilt-brat autocrat in his studio playpen) which slides swiftly into 'Under The Cherry Moon', title track of the unpromising-sounding flick for which this LP purports to be a soundtrack. I have seen many moons in my time, but never a cherry moon - how about you ? The song is a kind of kurt Weill lullaby co-authored by (Prince Sr ?) John L. Nelson.

Next up, 'Girls And Boys' is an adolescent 'Lady Marmalade' replete with "sauce" French bits and set to the beat of 'Take Me With U'. 'Life Can Be So Nice' bypasses me completely - a highspirited mess - before 'Venus De Milo' trails away at Side One's end as a slight sliver of mood-muzak, grand piano plus sweeping strings and reeds.

Flip the disc and we're straight back into Prince's booming sytnh beat on 'Mountains', which is a pounding Stevie Wonder/ Earth Wind And Fire epic. The Jazzy, smoochy 'Do U Lie ?' is a pleasant and slinky respite from such pomp.

'Kiss' then takes its isolated place in the remorseless parade of overdone semi-ideas, followed by the melodically beguiling 'Anotherloverholenyohead' (yes, it is a stupid title, isn't it). Finally, the showpiece ballad, 'Sometimes It Snows In April' (an even worse title) ends the record on a folksy acoustic noteand mourns the aforesaid departed Tracy. I feel that Prince is, on the whole, best at this most sentimental and foppishly despolate, but this is appalling kitsch and doesn't work at all.

I dunno. Is it possible, or even advisable, to take Prince seriously ? Do I have to watch Dynasty to have an attitude ? I find this record laboured and trite and self-satisfied and won't be listening to it again.

-- Barney Hoskyns


LOL!! Then at the end of the eighties when they did their yearly review: which album and which single were voted NME's best of '86?? You guessed it: Parade and Kiss!
Barney Hoiskyns you sad fuck, where are you now??
British Journalist aye; their love affair with being the up-to-date, intellectual smart arse critic inevitable turns around and slaps them in the face; showing them to be the pathetic, trendy wannabes they are.
Seriously, can somebody track this guy down for a good old laugh? Make him ponder and reminisce the heights of his journalistic success: Some 15 year old Mel and Kim fan probably gave him a blowjob for the above effort. And by year end he was choking on his own manure...
The lesson here must surely be to listen to a new Prince album a number of times before comparing it to his previous efforts, because he inevitably goes in a new direction that you're probably not prepared for... Digest it...
("you got to try my new funk...")

SpudMonkey said:

SpudMonkey said:

I know it's a wank review but you gotta laugh.

And, to be fair, it took me a while to "get" Parade. Which is why albums shouldn't be reviewed until one has heard it over a dozen times.

SpudMonkey said:

SpudMonkey said:

Spot on.

SpudMonkey said:

With this part he realy shows what arrogant, pair of deff ears he is !
I bet he's listened to it again !!

SpudMonkey said:

Barney Hoskyns, author of 'Prince: Imp Of The Perverse', published in 1988, in which he sticks by his original assertion but draws upon another corroborating opinion:

'If the pop press gave a pretty unanimous thumbs-up to Parade - this writer seemed almost alone in his doubts - Prince himself saw little in it to boast about. "Parade was a disaster" he announced in an interview on the TV show American Hartbeat. "Apart from Kiss, there's nothing on it I'm particularly proud of." (p.108)

About Barney Hoskyns: http://www.rocksbackpages...skyns.html

Hoskyns' biography details his activities up to the present day which suggests he has a tad more to reminisce about when reviewing his career than his reviews of a Prince album.

"Barney Hoskyns began writing about music for MELODY MAKER and NEW MUSICAL EXPRESS after leaving Oxford in 1980. In 1985, he quit his job as staff writer at NME to research a book about soul music. The result was SAY IT ONE TIME FOR THE BROKENHEARTED (UK: Fontana, 1987; Bloomsbury reissue 1998). Hoskyns’ other books include JAMES DEAN: SHOOTING STAR (UK: Bloomsbury/ US: Doubleday, 1989), MONTGOMERY CLIFT: BEAUTIFUL LOSER (UK: Bloomsbury/ US: Grove, 1992), ACROSS THE GREAT DIVIDE: THE BAND AND AMERICA (UK: Viking/US: Hyperion, 1993) and the novel THE LONELY PLANET BOY: A POP ROMANCE (UK/US: Serpent’s Tail, 1995). His WAITING FOR THE SUN: STRANGE DAYS, WEIRD SCENES & THE SOUND OF LOS ANGELES (UK: Viking/US: St. Martin’s Press, 1996) was nominated for a Ralph J. Gleason award in the U.S.

"Aside from his books, Hoskyns has written regularly on pop culture and the arts for British VOGUE, where for five years he was a Contributing Editor, and for THE TIMES, THE GUARDIAN, THE INDEPENDENT, THE OBSERVER and ARENA. Between 1993 and 1999, Hoskyns worked as ASSOCIATE EDITOR and then U.S. BUREAU CHIEF of MOJO, simultaneously contributing to such American publications as HARPER'S BAZAAR, INTERVIEW, SPIN and ROLLING STONE, as well as to AMAZON and CDNOW. In 1998, Faber (UK) and Simon & Schuster (US) published his GLAM! BOWIE, BOLAN & THE GLITTER ROCK REVOLUTION, tying in with Todd Haynes’ VELVET GOLDMINE. Haynes provided an introduction. 1999 saw the publication of the bestselling THE MULLET: HAIRSTYLE OF THE GODS, written with Mark Larson and published by Bloomsbury.

"After four years in America, Hoskyns returned to London, writing for GQ (U.S.), SPIN (U.S.), REVOLVER (U.S.), MOJO, THE GUARDIAN, THE INDEPENDENT and the TELEGRAPH magazine. He is a regular broadcaster and pundit on both radio and television, appearing on The TOP TEN series (CHANNEL 4), The I LOVE THE 80s/90s series (BBC 2), WALK ON BY (BBC 2), BEHIND THE MUSIC (VH1) and CLASSIC ALBUMS (BBC2).

"In 2000 Barney became Senior Editor of CDNOW in London, leaving to set up Rock’s Backpages. RBP has been acclaimed as a major archival resource by MOJO, THE GUARDIAN, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY and many others. Barney recently edited THE SOUND AND THE FURY: A ROCK’S BACKPAGES READER.

"2003 also sees updated reissues of WAITING FOR THE SUN (Bloomsbury) and ACROSS THE GREAT DIVIDE (Pimlico), together with the collection RAGGED GLORIES: CITY LIGHTS, COUNTRY FUNK, AMERICAN MUSIC (Pimlico)."

The website he founded, Rock's Back Pages helpfully includes 15 interviews with or articles on Prince over the years -

http://www.rocksbackpages...tID=prince

... for a fee.

.
[This message was edited Wed Jul 7 7:10:56 2004 by langebleu]

langebleu said:

A shame that Prince thinks/thought that. I was enchanted by Sometimes It Snows In April the very first time I heard it.

Cloudbuster said:

I'm sure there are quotes subsequently from Prince which contradict the sentiment too.


.

langebleu said:

No surprise there.

Cloudbuster said:

I once wrote a poem that I truely felt was masterful in it's design and interpretation of what is love for a certain girl I once conquered. Upon reading it again and again (after it had been published, adored, and all but cannonized by those who heard it) I just felt that it was the most unimportant piece I had ever put to notebook. This was in 1988. I have completely changed my mind on this piece now. I finally understand what I had wrote.

such is the case with Prince and his magnificent opus that is "Parade". He constantly reminds us of this everytime he plays "Sometimes it Snows...", "Girls and Boys", and "Kiss." I think that Prince was more into making hits because of the success he had enjoyed for the 4 years after "1999" that he himself was let down when he did not have at least 3 top 40 hits. Parade only yielded that one. and so it goes.....

Barney

Hoskyns said:

Pretty much how I feel about that entire review.

And that's not because I think it's one of his greatest albums either. I don't. {incredulous Orgers' response here}

It's also clear he has some contempt for the album's creator.

I guess you can't expect much from somebody named Barney anyway.

I'm sorry, but I agree with some of the article. Aside from the song "Kiss", "Parade" is...hands down...the deadest, most depressing album that Prince ever released in the 1980s.

lmas said:

Parade yielded 2 top 40 hits in the US.
.

The 3rd single from the Parade album, Anotherloverholenyohead went to Number 18 on the R&B charts in 86.

omg, that bangles comment had me on the floor laughing! LOL.

He must have held some apprecitation for at least some of the tracks from 'Parade'. Listening to several of the rehersal bootlegs for the Parade tour, prince is often boasts to his band at how nobody can write songs like him. for instances, while rehearsing Girls and boys he tells his band "if i heard this shit on the dance floor...i'd quit". Similarly, he also said "if i heard bthis on the radio it;d scare me to death!... the new single by culture club..ha haa"

The struggle to arbitrate taste while looking tasteful AND current is clearly a bitch.Remind me never to become a reviewer.

SpudMonkey said:

He did like P enough to write a biog on him though - not one of the best ones.