Why was he manipulative? Was it just that He just wanted to get this girl in the sack at 19 because he knew eventually he would be able to ruin a highly lucrative career as a belly dancer, marry her and use his defective genes to give her the biggest heartbreak of her life.

Maybe he meant that soulmate stuff at the time he said it but couldn't proceed right away because of her age and other circumstances. As for the other women, I really don't know what he told them. Obviously, he thought he was in for the long haul with Mayte. They knew each ten years, got married and attempted to have kids twice.

LoriJ said:

LBrent said:

Yes. I have to go back and figure out a timeline of who P was with during this timeline, besides Carmen, because I feelas if P was interested in her innocent/woldliness/resourcefulness/independance/talent and selfishly "bookmarking" Mayte and keeping her from going to Cairo/letting her age in place/keeping an eye on her so no one else snatched her up while he continued with several gals he knew were temporary.

I also think she was crushing and curious about him, but that all underlying the "real" reason P kept dangling ("You're in the band/you're going on tour/I'm already there, but have to do this first") so she would stay until he figured out how to proceed.

I don't mean to make P sound calculating, but...

I think manipulative is another appropiate word.

I just want to get this out of my head. I'll stay vague because I don't want to spoil the book for others. We all know how the story ends for Prince. Any details I spill on here have either (a) already been mentioned by others on this thread or (b) been the subject of a lot of speculation on prince.org.

--

First, I'm so glad I read this book. It was phenomenal. It wasn't Mayte's job to bring me closure. It's my job to figure that out for myself. But she made my job a hell of a lot easier.

--

Before reading this book, I had a lot of questions about Prince's death, and those questions bothered me, kept me up at night. At times, my wondering about Prince has consumed me. I've lost sleep over it.

Since I finished the book (less than 12 hours ago), do I still have questions? Yes.

Do I still think about what might have been? Yes. But I feel a lot of resolution, an inner peace, in my mind.

These questions and what-might-have-beens, the spiritual questions about fate and God's will and so forth, about why did he have to go through something as horrible as losing his son, these don't consume me the way that it they have for the past almost a year.

--

Am I sad Prince is gone? Yes. Every day. I never met him, but I MISS him. A small peice of my world left when he died. I have a number of memories tied to Prince, and I really liked his music before he died. But I was a casual fan. Had some of his songs, but none of his albums (not even Purple Rain, and there's a story behind why I didn't buy it.) Since he died, I've become obsessed. And it comes down to mainly one song that he wrote: Diamonds and Pearls. The man who created the song "Diamonds and Pearls," a song which has SO MUCH personal significance to me, is gone. This is a song that my husband introduced to me when we were dating. I wanted Diamonds and Pearls to be the first dance song at our wedding in July 2015 because I felt like it was "our song." But it wasn't our first dance song because my husband disagreed. (That's a story in and of itself.) So I put it on the list of songs for the DJ to play at the reception. I never heard it. The DJ may have played it before I got to the wedding reception. I don't know. I should ask people. My husband and I danced to "You and I" by Stevie Wonder, and it was fitting, because I grew up with that song. I've listened to the Talking Book album from which You and I comes since I was a little girl. Stevie is my favourite musician of all time. Prince is a close second. But I still wish the first dance song had been Diamonds and Pearls. I wish that moment of our wedding had been a Prince-filled moment. It wasn't. That hurts. It would have been a perfect compliment to the purple flowers (our colors were ivory, purple, and silver). The fact that we didn't do the first dance to Diamonds and Pearls hurst even more because Prince is gone now. Oh well. It's over. It's done. Maybe when we have a 10th anniversary celebration, we can dance to it. But guess what, the song will never die! Prince's music will never die! (Thanks for bearing with me while I had this stream of consiousness moment.)

--

Now back to the book.

Do I wish I could bring Prince back. Yes.

Do I still think he had life left in him? Yes.

Do I think he was suffering at the end of his life. Yes.

Do I think he was in pain? Yes.

Do I think he was addicted to painkillers. It's entirely possible. And if he was? So what? It happens. Doesn't make him a bad person. It means he was sick and needed help. I think of addiction as a disease, not a character flaw. The character flaw comes from not seeking help for addiction. He wasn't the rock and roll musician who was strung out on drugs. Never was. Anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong.

--

He was a musician who dealt with a lot of pain. Before I read and finished this book, it bothered me that he was in pain.

It bothered me that his only child, his only beloved son, died.

It bothered me that he never had any other children, because I think that this was a dream unfulfilled. It bothered me that he didn't know how to seek help for his problems.

--

Guess what. These things don't bother me anymore. I still have the questions, but they don't consume me. I'm sad he lost his son, it breaks my heart. It does. There is nothing worse than losing a child.

--

I believe in God. I believe God has a plan. And part of God's plan is giving people free will. Prince made choices. He made a lot of good choices and he made a lot of BAD CHOICES. And he paid for the bad choices. They came back to bite him. What goes around comes around.

--

But the dream of having children that went unfulfilled? That was his fault. He and Mayte could have had more children. IF not biological, they could have adopted children. But they didn't. Why? Because Prince did Mayte dirty. He turned his back on her. He was unfaithful to her (at the very least emotionally, and possibly sexually).

--

A LOT OF THE ISSUES HE HAD LATER IN LIFE, HE BROUGHT THEM ON HIMSELF BY THE CHOICES THAT HE MADE.

The fact that he died alone in an elevator with his clothes on backwards and his socks inside out.

The fact that help didn't come fast enough and was too late to help him. The fact that he may have been lonely at the end of his life. He brought these on himself with his bad choices. He refused to seek help. He turned his back on the woman, Mayte, who would have stayed with him. He let her slip through his fingers because of his own flaws. He listened to Larry Graham instead of his wife. This man who told Mayte repeatedly " will never leave u," did not keep his word. He broke his promise to her. And guess what? He paid for it down the road.

Everything that happened between he and Manuela. He brought it on himself. Never should have become involved with her. Never should have married her. She was an opportunitst, still is, and she bit him big time. The $600,000+ that he owes Patrick Cousins, the divorce lawyer, his fault. All the money he paid to Mani in the divorce, his fault. HE BROUGHT HIM ON HIMSELF!!! He was a married man...YOU DON'T SEE OTHER WOMEN. You don't make a steamy video for the "Greatest Romance Ever Sold" while still married to Mayte. You don't disrespect your wife like that.

--

He lost all sympathy from me and a lot of respect for how he conducted himself in relationships, especially with Mayte, based on this book. But I'm glad I know the truth. I still love him. Still respect him in many areas, just not how he conducted himself in relationships. I won't stop being a fan. I'm listening to his music just as I did yesterday, and the day before yesterday, and for many years before this one.

--

I knew he was flawed before I read the book. I know he is flawed after reading the book. He was a flawed genius. I don't like all of the flaws. But he was human. He didn't kill ayone. He didn't rape anyone. He didn't abuse children. Those three things, I can't deal with those. I might listen to the person's music, but I can't really celebrate the person if he/she did any of those three things. He didn't do any of those things, so I can still be a fan of him. He did a lot of great things in his life. He was a musical genius. When he was a father, he was a fabulous father, and that warmed my heart. If having children was an unfulfilled dream of his, it was his fault. It was his fault that he didn't because he abandoned Mayte. He wrote to her, "if they're not your babies, ain't havin' none!" Whether he felt that way later in life or not, who knows. But he kept his word. As a husband, he had some good moments, but he blew it. He was flawed. He let his true love go.

--

I liked Mayte before I read the book. Respected her. Felt bad for her because of losing her son, the miscarriage, and losing her marriage. All these things, I still feel. I feel bad for Mayte that she had to go through all that crap with . But she seems to be in a good place in her life now, loving her second chance at motherhood. She's gotten a chance to tell her story. Things didn't end well for her and Prince. But that happens sometimes. It sucks that his bad choices had such a negative effect on her. But I have enormous love and respect for her. The book was phenomenal. She wrote it with class. It was a great read.

--

Even before I read the book, Prince's music told me that Mayte was the love of his life. Songs like "The Most Beautiful Girl in the World," "Let's Have a Baby, "Friend, Lover, Sister, Mother/Wife," and even "The One," make this clear to me. "Let's Have a Baby" and "Friend, Lover, Sister, Mother/Wife," on their own stand out in feeling, depth, and devotion. To me, Mayte has a place in the Prince universe is alongside Sheila E, the Revolution, and the core members of the NPG. Prince's music proves that she was his true love. The love songs he wrote for her are unmatched and proof that of all the women he loved, he loved her the most intensely. She will always be a big part of his story.

purplerabbithole said:

annalizer said:

LoriJ said:

I think manipulative is another appropiate word.

purplerabbithole said:

Why was he manipulative? Was it just that He just wanted to get this girl in the sack at 19 because he knew eventually he would be able to ruin a highly lucrative career as a belly dancer, marry her and use his defective genes to give her the biggest heartbreak of her life.

Maybe he meant that soulmate stuff at the time he said it but couldn't proceed right away because of her age and other circumstances. As for the other women, I really don't know what he told them. Obviously, he thought he was in for the long haul with Mayte. They knew each ten years, got married and attempted to have kids twice.

He was being manipulative by "bookmarking" her and keeping her in a holding pattern until he was ready/had figured out how to incorporate her into his life/his world.

I don't think is was about hanging onto her to have sex with her legally like he'd done before as well, to hear Anna Fantastic tell herstory. And I don't think he had thought it all down to it's final conclusion. I think as stuff happened he wasn't acting as much as he simply reacted..

I think he really was interested in more than that...but our boy was very complicated, not just black & white.

He was the original "shades of grey"...or maybe I should say shades of purple.

P.S. and no, I don't mean anything BDSM in that parrallel.

bsprout said:

bsprout said:

The way Mayte describes the 'handshake' metaphor in the book when referring to Prince's preferred girlfriend of the moment is chilling.

Chiiiiiiile...I knew when she said it in the beginning that that was gonna happen later. It was just a matter of time.

And when it did, my heart sunk.

LBrent said:

LBrent said:

Oh so he and Mayte had a two year relationship? Kind of over-simplifying? I am not saying he doesn't have patterns, habits, or routines. I am saying that he and she are presumably different. He didn't produce Manuela's albums. he didn't stop workign with Sheila E. And there are genuinely women in his life. Don't oversimplify or ignore exceptions to your rule.

Ask yourself why some of those patterns, habits, routines happened? What were his intentions? Were they ill intentions or just indications of his insecurities and inability to relate to people when music wasn't involved. PLus, many of Prince's proteges are super talented. Don't be insulting to these women. They werne't all Carmen Electra.

annalizer said:

purplerabbithole said:

Why was he manipulative? Was it just that He just wanted to get this girl in the sack at 19 because he knew eventually he would be able to ruin a highly lucrative career as a belly dancer, marry her and use his defective genes to give her the biggest heartbreak of her life.

Maybe he meant that soulmate stuff at the time he said it but couldn't proceed right away because of her age and other circumstances. As for the other women, I really don't know what he told them. Obviously, he thought he was in for the long haul with Mayte. They knew each ten years, got married and attempted to have kids twice.

Prince did know his future intentions with Mayte the first time he saw her. He used the same techniques with other women he was interested in and it worked. Mayte was a belly dancer/ballerina, but how many times did she actually use those skills on stage and/or videos? He did not know exactly how the future between them would turn out but he had a better understanding of how it "could" go than Mayte did because he's setting it up like he always did with the women he was most interested in. Prince had a formula, get pretty girl he finds interesting, find a place for her in the band by encouraging her to sing/dance even though he and they knew they were mediocre, (Mayte could actually dance) produce an ok album. After about two years, the shininess of the relationship wears off and and becomes real, its time to hit the bricks! [Edited 4/9/17 9:25am] [Edited 4/9/17 9:28am] [Edited 4/9/17 9:30am]

Are you saying he deserved to die young alone in an elevator because he brought it on himself? Part of God's plan? Somehow now less tragic? That's your closure. That's the honor that Mayte's book has brought Prince. No one deserves that. If that is something he did to himself then he needed real help. NOt enablers.

. Mayte was not the only person in his life. His time with her is only part of 57 years of life. She survived her ordeal. He did not.

You say you lost all sympathy for him but that you love him regardless because he wasn't a criminal basically and wrote good songs. WOW> But I would think with love comes sympathy. Prince was a bonehead (according to this book) and probably had mental illness, and Mayte suffered as a result, but I like to spread my sympathy out a little bit.

I like this review for the book...

5.0 out of 5 starsAll females should read this book!!!!!!

I wish more people would see this book as a coming of age triumph for Mayte and a tragedy for Prince. If this book came out later and wasn't tied to his death (and pegged as an honor to him), then I would think that's exactly what this book intended to convey.

206Michelle said:

I just want to get this out of my head. I'll stay vague because I don't want to spoil the book for others. We all know how the story ends for Prince. Any details I spill on here have either (a) already been mentioned by others on this thread or (b) been the subject of a lot of speculation on prince.org.

--

First, I'm so glad I read this book. It was phenomenal. It wasn't Mayte's job to bring me closure. It's my job to figure that out for myself. But she made my job a hell of a lot easier.

--

Before reading this book, I had a lot of questions about Prince's death, and those questions bothered me, kept me up at night. At times, my wondering about Prince has consumed me. I've lost sleep over it.

Since I finished the book (less than 12 hours ago), do I still have questions? Yes.

Do I still think about what might have been? Yes. But I feel a lot of resolution, an inner peace, in my mind.

These questions and what-might-have-beens, the spiritual questions about fate and God's will and so forth, about why did he have to go through something as horrible as losing his son, these don't consume me the way that it they have for the past almost a year.

--

Am I sad Prince is gone? Yes. Every day. I never met him, but I MISS him. A small peice of my world left when he died. I have a number of memories tied to Prince, and I really liked his music before he died. But I was a casual fan. Had some of his songs, but none of his albums (not even Purple Rain, and there's a story behind why I didn't buy it.) Since he died, I've become obsessed. And it comes down to mainly one song that he wrote: Diamonds and Pearls. The man who created the song "Diamonds and Pearls," a song which has SO MUCH personal significance to me, is gone. This is a song that my husband introduced to me when we were dating. I wanted Diamonds and Pearls to be the first dance song at our wedding in July 2015 because I felt like it was "our song." But it wasn't our first dance song because my husband disagreed. (That's a story in and of itself.) So I put it on the list of songs for the DJ to play at the reception. I never heard it. The DJ may have played it before I got to the wedding reception. I don't know. I should ask people. My husband and I danced to "You and I" by Stevie Wonder, and it was fitting, because I grew up with that song. I've listened to the Talking Book album from which You and I comes since I was a little girl. Stevie is my favourite musician of all time. Prince is a close second. But I still wish the first dance song had been Diamonds and Pearls. I wish that moment of our wedding had been a Prince-filled moment. It wasn't. That hurts. It would have been a perfect compliment to the purple flowers (our colors were ivory, purple, and silver). The fact that we didn't do the first dance to Diamonds and Pearls hurst even more because Prince is gone now. Oh well. It's over. It's done. Maybe when we have a 10th anniversary celebration, we can dance to it. But guess what, the song will never die! Prince's music will never die! (Thanks for bearing with me while I had this stream of consiousness moment.)

--

Now back to the book.

Do I wish I could bring Prince back. Yes.

Do I still think he had life left in him? Yes.

Do I think he was suffering at the end of his life. Yes.

Do I think he was in pain? Yes.

Do I think he was addicted to painkillers. It's entirely possible. And if he was? So what? It happens. Doesn't make him a bad person. It means he was sick and needed help. I think of addiction as a disease, not a character flaw. The character flaw comes from not seeking help for addiction. He wasn't the rock and roll musician who was strung out on drugs. Never was. Anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong.

--

He was a musician who dealt with a lot of pain. Before I read and finished this book, it bothered me that he was in pain.

It bothered me that his only child, his only beloved son, died.

It bothered me that he never had any other children, because I think that this was a dream unfulfilled. It bothered me that he didn't know how to seek help for his problems.

--

Guess what. These things don't bother me anymore. I still have the questions, but they don't consume me. I'm sad he lost his son, it breaks my heart. It does. There is nothing worse than losing a child.

--

I believe in God. I believe God has a plan. And part of God's plan is giving people free will. Prince made choices. He made a lot of good choices and he made a lot of BAD CHOICES. And he paid for the bad choices. They came back to bite him. What goes around comes around.

--

But the dream of having children that went unfulfilled? That was his fault. He and Mayte could have had more children. IF not biological, they could have adopted children. But they didn't. Why? Because Prince did Mayte dirty. He turned his back on her. He was unfaithful to her (at the very least emotionally, and possibly sexually).

--

A LOT OF THE ISSUES HE HAD LATER IN LIFE, HE BROUGHT THEM ON HIMSELF BY THE CHOICES THAT HE MADE.

The fact that he died alone in an elevator with his clothes on backwards and his socks inside out.

The fact that help didn't come fast enough and was too late to help him. The fact that he may have been lonely at the end of his life. He brought these on himself with his bad choices. He refused to seek help. He turned his back on the woman, Mayte, who would have stayed with him. He let her slip through his fingers because of his own flaws. He listened to Larry Graham instead of his wife. This man who told Mayte repeatedly " will never leave u," did not keep his word. He broke his promise to her. And guess what? He paid for it down the road.

Everything that happened between he and Manuela. He brought it on himself. Never should have become involved with her. Never should have married her. She was an opportunitst, still is, and she bit him big time. The $600,000+ that he owes Patrick Cousins, the divorce lawyer, his fault. All the money he paid to Mani in the divorce, his fault. HE BROUGHT HIM ON HIMSELF!!! He was a married man...YOU DON'T SEE OTHER WOMEN. You don't make a steamy video for the "Greatest Romance Ever Sold" while still married to Mayte. You don't disrespect your wife like that.

--

He lost all sympathy from me and a lot of respect for how he conducted himself in relationships, especially with Mayte, based on this book. But I'm glad I know the truth. I still love him. Still respect him in many areas, just not how he conducted himself in relationships. I won't stop being a fan. I'm listening to his music just as I did yesterday, and the day before yesterday, and for many years before this one.

--

I knew he was flawed before I read the book. I know he is flawed after reading the book. He was a flawed genius. I don't like all of the flaws. But he was human. He didn't kill ayone. He didn't rape anyone. He didn't abuse children. Those three things, I can't deal with those. I might listen to the person's music, but I can't really celebrate the person if he/she did any of those three things. He didn't do any of those things, so I can still be a fan of him. He did a lot of great things in his life. He was a musical genius. When he was a father, he was a fabulous father, and that warmed my heart. If having children was an unfulfilled dream of his, it was his fault. It was his fault that he didn't because he abandoned Mayte. He wrote to her, "if they're not your babies, ain't havin' none!" Whether he felt that way later in life or not, who knows. But he kept his word. As a husband, he had some good moments, but he blew it. He was flawed. He let his true love go.

--

I liked Mayte before I read the book. Respected her. Felt bad for her because of losing her son, the miscarriage, and losing her marriage. All these things, I still feel. I feel bad for Mayte that she had to go through all that crap with . But she seems to be in a good place in her life now, loving her second chance at motherhood. She's gotten a chance to tell her story. Things didn't end well for her and Prince. But that happens sometimes. It sucks that his bad choices had such a negative effect on her. But I have enormous love and respect for her. The book was phenomenal. She wrote it with class. It was a great read.

--

Even before I read the book, Prince's music told me that Mayte was the love of his life. Songs like "The Most Beautiful Girl in the World," "Let's Have a Baby, "Friend, Lover, Sister, Mother/Wife," and even "The One," make this clear to me. "Let's Have a Baby" and "Friend, Lover, Sister, Mother/Wife," on their own stand out in feeling, depth, and devotion. To me, Mayte has a place in the Prince universe is alongside Sheila E, the Revolution, and the core members of the NPG. Prince's music proves that she was his true love. The love songs he wrote for her are unmatched and proof that of all the women he loved, he loved her the most intensely. She will always be a big part of his story.

[Edited 4/9/17 10:01am]

[Edited 4/9/17 10:24am]

[Edited 4/9/17 10:26am]

[Edited 4/9/17 10:28am]

purplerabbithole said:

No, you just reiterated that he has those routines. You never tried to understand why. Most men don't put that kind of effort into almost every romantic liason.

Sheila E was briefly a love interest.

annalizer said:

purplerabbithole said:

Oh so he and Mayte had a two year relationship? Kind of over-simplifying? I am not saying he doesn't have patterns, habits, or routines. I am saying that he and she are presumably different. He didn't produce Manuela's albums. he didn't stop workign with Sheila E. And there are genuinely women in his life. Don't oversimplify or ignore exceptions to your rule.

Ask yourself why some of those patterns, habits, routines happened? What were his intentions? Were they ill intentions or just indications of his insecurities and inability to relate to people when music wasn't involved. PLus, many of Prince's proteges are super talented. Don't be insulting to these women. They werne't all Carmen Electra.

Princes habits, patterns and routines spoke for themselves. You're right Sheila E is very talented as a musician. I'm talking about his love interest.

AbstractPoetic91 said:

LBrent said:

The kicker being that the grandmother is half black.

That mindset doesn't surprise me, some Puerto Rican's even now think this way. I simply shook my head, her grandmother was doing the damn most but let's be real some black folks right here in America are no different, we have that mindset too sometimes.

Honey it's allllll over the African diasphora in the formerly colonized West. That good ole fashioned House vs. Field mentality has never truly died

purplerabbithole said:

No, you just reiterated that he has those routines. You never tried to understand why. Most men don't put that kind of effort into almost every romantic liason.

Sheila E was briefly a love interest.

annalizer said:

purplerabbithole said: Princes habits, patterns and routines spoke for themselves. You're right Sheila E is very talented as a musician. I'm talking about his love interest.

Sheila E was more than brief, she was his fiancee. her memoir " The beat of my own drum " was a great book.

206Michelle, I feelya and I also felt better about 4/21 after reading the book. I agree that many of the decisions P made brought him to 4/21, but for me whatever he was up to was merely a part of the purple continuum.

Throughout the years I've never thought about the man seperate from his actions seperate from his artistry. It was all pieces to the complete puzzle that I've been trying to assemble all these years. Without one piece the puzzle was still unfinished for me.

I watch P's videos and notice stuff I didn't notice before Mayte's book. And I should add, her book was far from the first P book I've read. I've read so many that's it got to be ridiculous. But hers resonated on many levels for me, levels I'd ignored over the years and levels that have resurfaced that had me extremely uncomfortable.

I'm not sure about anything religious. Frankly, organized religion has always been something that although I've studied alot about it, I decided early on it wasn't for me. But I do beleive there is a continuum of spirit. This I know. This I feel every day.

I can't articulate it adequately to someone else, but it's very clear in my heart and mind. P was part of that and that and many other reasons still having me loving him. I always will.

purplerabbithole said:

LBrent said:

dreamer218 said:

No ones family is perfect. Mayte's was no different. Her parents did the best they could as any of our parents did. BUT it did come across that they loved their kids and took care of them as best they coulld. Both her parents were supportive of Mayte's career pushing her and facilitating her career as best they could.

I'm curious to know if her parents regret letting her move to MN vs going to dance in Cairo. She had a real career and wasn't making chump change. She was making bank before she even met Prince. Upwards of 100k saved up. I wonder if Mayte thinks about what life would have been like if she didn't meet Prince? Something tells me that her mom probably regets letting her go to the US vs remaining in Europe.

I haven't gotten to it yet but someone said that Mani doesn't come off too well in the book. I'm curious to know if they've remained friends after this. I'm also curious to know if she goes into detail about adopting Gia.

Um. You're gonna have to decide for the 1st question .

I will say this about that...Mayte is way more woman than my NY azz woulda been given the circumstances. You'll see, but if she ever changes her mind about her decision to remain classy about it all, I'm just the b*tch to drive over to EB's house, hold her earrings and make sure she has an alibi afterwards. A good old fashioned mistress azz whoopin has no statute of limitations in my opinion.

Definitely for the 2nd question.

[Edited 4/5/17 20:24pm]

.

You're a good friend

.

Ottensen said:

LBrent said:

Um. You're gonna have to decide for the 1st question .

I will say this about that...Mayte is way more woman than my NY azz woulda been given the circumstances. You'll see, but if she ever changes her mind about her decision to remain classy about it all, I'm just the b*tch to drive over to EB's house, hold her earrings and make sure she has an alibi afterwards. A good old fashioned mistress azz whoopin has no statute of limitations in my opinion.

Definitely for the 2nd question.

[Edited 4/5/17 20:24pm]

.

You're a good friend

.

Everyone needs the freind you can call at 2:30am with "Meet me at the corner of Rose and Beech. Bring a box of rubber gloves, some duct tape, a shovel and a bag of lime."

You get up, pull a jacket on over your pajamas, grumbling the entire time, help your freind "Goodfellas style", then go to IHOP for french toast and coffee. And y'all never speak of it again.

LBrent said:

rednblue said:

XxAxX said:

i don't find it romantic anymore. probably cause i'm older, and more aware of sexual psychodynamics in this world. at her age i would have fallen for it hook, line and sinker.

but as i am now, i find i cast a cynical eye on all of those empty promises he made to her, even while he was with other women.

i love that she did at times stand up for herself, but hearing her describe the low pay, and how she spent her savings being part of his group while missing out on the opportunity to develop her own career.... well, i'm not sure that was really in her best interests.

and an employer who does that to his employees, while also being 'romantic' with them.... just yuk. sorry. i still love prince, but feel sorry for any woman caught in that kind of psychological trap by an older guy.

So relate to much in all of this. I'd like to say that the disturbing parts of P keep me from melting when I watch him perform, but ohhhh would I be lying.

I don't want to be judgemental. I don't look at myself as a better person than others. I'm very disturbed by some things I've done over the years. Wish I could go back and change them (thanks, LBrent, for the time machine idea : ) ).

Looking from the outside as a fan/fam, some of his treatment of women (rock star or no -- there's big boy pants just like there's big girl pants) and lack of reasonable pay at times for those working for him (whether he was fully aware of the situation or not), are two very disturbing parts of what went on.

It really stings precisely because he was so very sincere, and often very successful, in lifting women up in a man's world and lifting up artists, and so many other people, financially disenfranchised and ripped off by the suits of the world.

[Edited 4/6/17 7:15am]

I think as fans, the healthiest approach comes down to just being balanced. I've worked in and sorta navigated the celebrity periphery for so many years, I learned early and quickly to separate artists as regular, flawed human beings from their artistic genius and creative output.

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It's something akin to being able to still love and appreiciate a person's work and the ecstatic joy it can give you, but having the clear and rational mind to be able to accept that once they put the instrument down, publlish the 5th book, or they're done posing for the camera or reciting their lines, that what's left after that can often be a VERY flawed individual...not that there's anything wrong with that because we human beings are lawed creatures who f** up. It simply means coming to terms with the fact that no man, even a genius svengali lilke Prince, is perfect or a saint, and definitely not idol nor God. Their tragic flaws are a reminder that they indeed are simply human beings just like the rest of us.

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I think that last part is probably what makes so many fans have a knee jerk reaction to hearing anything egative about Prince or whoever their favorite celeb happens to be. It shatters the illusion that they are these God-like saviors when the fact is, beyond the time they spend devoted to creating music or film or other creative art, they are still flesh and bone people; perfectly capable of fracking s**t up just like any other human being- be it in love, marriage, business relationships, or whatever. So I totally get being turned off by some of the things you learn about the man, but yeah, you can still rock out and get your warm fuzzies when ou see his performances or hear his music.

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petalthecat said:

Okay, something is niggling at me. I love Mayte but I need to play devils advocate. If Mayte was such a feisty young girl, she was earning all that moolah, fiercely independent and had travelled extensively, why does she seem to convert to a shy, naive little girl once she moves to Minnesota? She wasn't "in love" right away so it can't be that. I can't help wondering if she's slightly exaggerated her early career potential because she's tired of having lived with "golddigger" comments for years. There, I said it!

To me it's simple enough: she had no family and was in an new surrounding where she didn't have the level of prestige or supoort that that she had amongst her loved ones and previous professional connections. I see it happen all the time in my expat community.

NO one is saying he is a god-like savior. Most people can relate better to flawed human beings in fact (saints are impossible to relate to), and circumstances like fame, messed up childhoods, mental, physical illness, and stress can make their flaws even more obvious. All his fans know he wasn't perfect...always have. We are not MJ fans..LOL.

What we can't relate to is a monster. People on this thread keep saying he is flawed but human. But mostly I am just reading about the "flawed" but none of the human. Every good gesture is calculating, insincere, and manipulative with no good intention. Every flaw is unforgivable and without understanding. Humanizing and villianizing are two different things. If Mayte is humanizing Prince then good for her (as long as she is willing to humanize herself as well). But you folks are mostly villanizing him based on her book and that hopefully was not her intention,

Ottensen said:

rednblue said:

So relate to much in all of this. I'd like to say that the disturbing parts of P keep me from melting when I watch him perform, but ohhhh would I be lying.

I don't want to be judgemental. I don't look at myself as a better person than others. I'm very disturbed by some things I've done over the years. Wish I could go back and change them (thanks, LBrent, for the time machine idea : ) ).

Looking from the outside as a fan/fam, some of his treatment of women (rock star or no -- there's big boy pants just like there's big girl pants) and lack of reasonable pay at times for those working for him (whether he was fully aware of the situation or not), are two very disturbing parts of what went on.

It really stings precisely because he was so very sincere, and often very successful, in lifting women up in a man's world and lifting up artists, and so many other people, financially disenfranchised and ripped off by the suits of the world.

[Edited 4/6/17 7:15am]

I think as fans, the healthiest approach comes down to just being balanced. I've worked in and sorta navigated the celebrity periphery for so many years, I learned early and quickly to separate artists as regular, flawed human beings from their artistic genius and creative output.

.

.

It's something akin to being able to still love and appreiciate a person's work and the ecstatic joy it can give you, but having the clear and rational mind to be able to accept that once they put the instrument down, publlish the 5th book, or they're done posing for the camera or reciting their lines, that what's left after that can often be a VERY flawed individual...not that there's anything wrong with that because we human beings are lawed creatures who f** up. It simply means coming to terms with the fact that no man, even a genius svengali lilke Prince, is perfect or a saint, and definitely not idol nor God. Their tragic flaws are a reminder that they indeed are simply human beings just like the rest of us.

.

.

I think that last part is probably what makes so many fans have a knee jerk reaction to hearing anything egative about Prince or whoever their favorite celeb happens to be. It shatters the illusion that they are these God-like saviors when the fact is, beyond the time they spend devoted to creating music or film or other creative art, they are still flesh and bone people; perfectly capable of fracking s**t up just like any other human being- be it in love, marriage, business relationships, or whatever. So I totally get being turned off by some of the things you learn about the man, but yeah, you can still rock out and get your warm fuzzies when ou see his performances or hear his music.

.

So you don't think her being Prince's girlfriend and wife didn't get her any clout or support? A shy girl would be too shy to even talk to a famous rock star. They would have froze. I am not saying there wren't reservations on her part or that she didn't have some shyness. But what significant other associated with a famous guy wouldn't feel pretty special?

Ottensen said:

petalthecat said:

Okay, something is niggling at me. I love Mayte but I need to play devils advocate. If Mayte was such a feisty young girl, she was earning all that moolah, fiercely independent and had travelled extensively, why does she seem to convert to a shy, naive little girl once she moves to Minnesota? She wasn't "in love" right away so it can't be that. I can't help wondering if she's slightly exaggerated her early career potential because she's tired of having lived with "golddigger" comments for years. There, I said it!

To me it's simple enough: she had no family and was in an new surrounding where she didn't have the level of prestige or supoort that that she had amongst her loved ones and previous professional connections. I see it happen all the time in my expat community.

[Edited 4/9/17 11:41am]

purplethunder3121 said:

LBrent said:

Actually, Rick James woulda been a HELL NO!!!

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disch said:

I noticed that too; it sounded like Mayte's Egyptian connection inspired Prince's Egyptian/Arabict-tinged projects at that time.

sonshine said:

That whole Egyptian experience sure captured something in Prince because he really played up that theme for a time. The only thing so far I'm left wanting to know more about are his family dynamics. Anyway, back to work for a bit lol [Edited 4/6/17 19:22pm]

Indeed. Don't forget he even filmed an entire movie based on their artistic collaborations together and Three Chains of Gold.

Penny, can we start Chapter 5?

purplerabbithole,

I never said he deserved to die young. I never said it was a part of God's plan. It's not about deserving or not deserving, it's about how does a person address the cards that God/the universe/luck/fate/life gives to him or her. I've been trying to make sense of what happened to Prince, why he died so young (before he should have), why he died alone.

--

I believe that God gives us free will. So much in this world happens that I cannot explain. Bad things happen. Neutral things happen. Good things happen. So much of what happens is beyond my control. I can only control but so much. God gave people free will as a gift so that we can make choices about what to do with this one life that God gives us. This free will allows each of us to make this life our own. We can choose to honor God or dishonor God. We can choose to believe in God or not believe in God. God gives us free will so that we can make those choices. He doesn't force it upon us. So when it comes to situations in which I can make choices, the question is, How do I deal with those things in my life about which I can make a choice? How do I deal with those things in my life over which I have some control? How do I use this gift that God gave me called free will?

--

Like anyone else, Prince had good things happen to him. He had bad things happen to him. He had talents. He had flaws. Did he deserve to be a musical genius, to inherit the musical talents that he inherited? I don't know, I can't answer that. All I know is that whatever musical talent that God/nature/the universe gave to him, he made the choice to nurture and utilize that talent fully in order to make some of the greatest music that humankind has ever known.

--

When it came to love, he loved a lot of different women. One of those women was Mayte. The evidence -- his music, his letters, his behavior -- indicates to me that he had an incredibly deep love for her. He promised to never leave her. The two of them experienced some really difficult things, namely losing their son and a miscarriage. These things happened. had to make some choices about how he handled these incredibly difficult situations. Instead of trying to work throught things with Mayte, he made the choice to listen to Larry Graham, to join the Jehovah's Witness faith, and leave Mayte for another woman. This other woman, Manuela, ended up divorcing him. So the fact that he died alone, without a wife who might have intervened to help him, it's not whether he deserved it or not, but he chose the possibility of that outcome happening when he turned his back on his marriage to Mayte. A consequence was that he married Manuela, and Manuela ultimately left him. He made the choice to leave Mayte, and that choice had the consequence of ultimately leaving him single at the time when he died.

--

We all do things to contribute to our longevity or lack thereof based on the choices that we make. Some of us have genetic makeups that allow us to live longer than others. Genetic makeup is out of our control. All we can do is make the best of what we have. People who smoke often get lung cancer, which can lead to death. Prince made the choice to do all kinds of spiffy dance moves and tricks as a performer for many years. That was his choice. All of those performances he did also enriched the lives of millions of people, made him a very wealthy man, and made him one of the greatest musicians to ever live. But those performances also caused a lot of wear and tear on his body, and that wear and tear probably led him to use painkillers, and he died from an overdose of Fentanyl.

--

What Mayte's book has done is to help me understand more about Prince, to help me come closer to the truth about understanding why he behaved the say that he did in certain situations. From reading her book, I learned that more about how Prince dealth with the good things that happened to him and the bad things happenned in his life. Her book allowed me to better understand some of the choices that he made about things that occurred in his life. His choices in life did contribute to his untimely death, but his choices also led to him having a great legacy of musical contributions that will, hopefully, last until the end of time.

--

Her book has helped me to make better sense of his life, to give me a bit of closure. I would have gained closure eventually, because it's my job to do that, not hers. But she helped me come to that closure. Her book helped me to better understand him as a HUMAN BEING, and to understand how he used the free will that God gave him to create his life. Prince was flawed, and I don't agree with everything that he did. But I still love the man. He was a genius, a flawed genius. He was HUMAN. I still worship his guitar skills. I still love his music. I will still try to come up with ways to make conversations about Prince. Thanks to her book, I understand more about his life so that I don't have to spend a whole bunch of mental energy trying to fill in gaps that I cannot fill.

purplerabbithole said:

Are you saying he deserved to die young alone in an elevator because he brought it on himself? Part of God's plan? Somehow now less tragic? That's your closure. That's the honor that Mayte's book has brought Prince. No one deserves that. If that is something he did to himself then he needed real help. NOt enablers.

. Mayte was not the only person in his life. His time with her is only part of 57 years of life. She survived her ordeal. He did not.

You say you lost all sympathy for him but that you love him regardless because he wasn't a criminal basically and wrote good songs. WOW> But I would think with love comes sympathy. Prince was a bonehead (according to this book) and probably had mental illness, and Mayte suffered as a result, but I like to spread my sympathy out a little bit.

I like this review for the book...

5.0 out of 5 starsAll females should read this book!!!!!!

Bybecarefulon April 9, 2017

Format: Hardcover|Verified Purchase

Love love this book!!!!!!!!
Every female from the ages of 16-35 should read this book.Never,ever depend on a man for your happiness.I don't think Prince was a bad person ,but I think he had some mental issues that needed to be addressed early on in his life.
I just adore Mayte for sharing her story.
Thank you!

I wish more people would see this book as a coming of age triumph for Mayte and a tragedy for Prince. If this book came out later and wasn't tied to his death (and pegged as an honor to him), then I would think that's exactly what this book intended to convey.

206Michelle said:

I just want to get this out of my head. I'll stay vague because I don't want to spoil the book for others. We all know how the story ends for Prince. Any details I spill on here have either (a) already been mentioned by others on this thread or (b) been the subject of a lot of speculation on prince.org.

--

First, I'm so glad I read this book. It was phenomenal. It wasn't Mayte's job to bring me closure. It's my job to figure that out for myself. But she made my job a hell of a lot easier.

--

Before reading this book, I had a lot of questions about Prince's death, and those questions bothered me, kept me up at night. At times, my wondering about Prince has consumed me. I've lost sleep over it.

Since I finished the book (less than 12 hours ago), do I still have questions? Yes.

Do I still think about what might have been? Yes. But I feel a lot of resolution, an inner peace, in my mind.

These questions and what-might-have-beens, the spiritual questions about fate and God's will and so forth, about why did he have to go through something as horrible as losing his son, these don't consume me the way that it they have for the past almost a year.

--

Am I sad Prince is gone? Yes. Every day. I never met him, but I MISS him. A small peice of my world left when he died. I have a number of memories tied to Prince, and I really liked his music before he died. But I was a casual fan. Had some of his songs, but none of his albums (not even Purple Rain, and there's a story behind why I didn't buy it.) Since he died, I've become obsessed. And it comes down to mainly one song that he wrote: Diamonds and Pearls. The man who created the song "Diamonds and Pearls," a song which has SO MUCH personal significance to me, is gone. This is a song that my husband introduced to me when we were dating. I wanted Diamonds and Pearls to be the first dance song at our wedding in July 2015 because I felt like it was "our song." But it wasn't our first dance song because my husband disagreed. (That's a story in and of itself.) So I put it on the list of songs for the DJ to play at the reception. I never heard it. The DJ may have played it before I got to the wedding reception. I don't know. I should ask people. My husband and I danced to "You and I" by Stevie Wonder, and it was fitting, because I grew up with that song. I've listened to the Talking Book album from which You and I comes since I was a little girl. Stevie is my favourite musician of all time. Prince is a close second. But I still wish the first dance song had been Diamonds and Pearls. I wish that moment of our wedding had been a Prince-filled moment. It wasn't. That hurts. It would have been a perfect compliment to the purple flowers (our colors were ivory, purple, and silver). The fact that we didn't do the first dance to Diamonds and Pearls hurst even more because Prince is gone now. Oh well. It's over. It's done. Maybe when we have a 10th anniversary celebration, we can dance to it. But guess what, the song will never die! Prince's music will never die! (Thanks for bearing with me while I had this stream of consiousness moment.)

--

Now back to the book.

Do I wish I could bring Prince back. Yes.

Do I still think he had life left in him? Yes.

Do I think he was suffering at the end of his life. Yes.

Do I think he was in pain? Yes.

Do I think he was addicted to painkillers. It's entirely possible. And if he was? So what? It happens. Doesn't make him a bad person. It means he was sick and needed help. I think of addiction as a disease, not a character flaw. The character flaw comes from not seeking help for addiction. He wasn't the rock and roll musician who was strung out on drugs. Never was. Anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong.

--

He was a musician who dealt with a lot of pain. Before I read and finished this book, it bothered me that he was in pain.

It bothered me that his only child, his only beloved son, died.

It bothered me that he never had any other children, because I think that this was a dream unfulfilled. It bothered me that he didn't know how to seek help for his problems.

--

Guess what. These things don't bother me anymore. I still have the questions, but they don't consume me. I'm sad he lost his son, it breaks my heart. It does. There is nothing worse than losing a child.

--

I believe in God. I believe God has a plan. And part of God's plan is giving people free will. Prince made choices. He made a lot of good choices and he made a lot of BAD CHOICES. And he paid for the bad choices. They came back to bite him. What goes around comes around.

--

But the dream of having children that went unfulfilled? That was his fault. He and Mayte could have had more children. IF not biological, they could have adopted children. But they didn't. Why? Because Prince did Mayte dirty. He turned his back on her. He was unfaithful to her (at the very least emotionally, and possibly sexually).

--

A LOT OF THE ISSUES HE HAD LATER IN LIFE, HE BROUGHT THEM ON HIMSELF BY THE CHOICES THAT HE MADE.

The fact that he died alone in an elevator with his clothes on backwards and his socks inside out.

The fact that help didn't come fast enough and was too late to help him. The fact that he may have been lonely at the end of his life. He brought these on himself with his bad choices. He refused to seek help. He turned his back on the woman, Mayte, who would have stayed with him. He let her slip through his fingers because of his own flaws. He listened to Larry Graham instead of his wife. This man who told Mayte repeatedly " will never leave u," did not keep his word. He broke his promise to her. And guess what? He paid for it down the road.

Everything that happened between he and Manuela. He brought it on himself. Never should have become involved with her. Never should have married her. She was an opportunitst, still is, and she bit him big time. The $600,000+ that he owes Patrick Cousins, the divorce lawyer, his fault. All the money he paid to Mani in the divorce, his fault. HE BROUGHT HIM ON HIMSELF!!! He was a married man...YOU DON'T SEE OTHER WOMEN. You don't make a steamy video for the "Greatest Romance Ever Sold" while still married to Mayte. You don't disrespect your wife like that.

--

He lost all sympathy from me and a lot of respect for how he conducted himself in relationships, especially with Mayte, based on this book. But I'm glad I know the truth. I still love him. Still respect him in many areas, just not how he conducted himself in relationships. I won't stop being a fan. I'm listening to his music just as I did yesterday, and the day before yesterday, and for many years before this one.

--

I knew he was flawed before I read the book. I know he is flawed after reading the book. He was a flawed genius. I don't like all of the flaws. But he was human. He didn't kill ayone. He didn't rape anyone. He didn't abuse children. Those three things, I can't deal with those. I might listen to the person's music, but I can't really celebrate the person if he/she did any of those three things. He didn't do any of those things, so I can still be a fan of him. He did a lot of great things in his life. He was a musical genius. When he was a father, he was a fabulous father, and that warmed my heart. If having children was an unfulfilled dream of his, it was his fault. It was his fault that he didn't because he abandoned Mayte. He wrote to her, "if they're not your babies, ain't havin' none!" Whether he felt that way later in life or not, who knows. But he kept his word. As a husband, he had some good moments, but he blew it. He was flawed. He let his true love go.

--

I liked Mayte before I read the book. Respected her. Felt bad for her because of losing her son, the miscarriage, and losing her marriage. All these things, I still feel. I feel bad for Mayte that she had to go through all that crap with . But she seems to be in a good place in her life now, loving her second chance at motherhood. She's gotten a chance to tell her story. Things didn't end well for her and Prince. But that happens sometimes. It sucks that his bad choices had such a negative effect on her. But I have enormous love and respect for her. The book was phenomenal. She wrote it with class. It was a great read.

--

Even before I read the book, Prince's music told me that Mayte was the love of his life. Songs like "The Most Beautiful Girl in the World," "Let's Have a Baby, "Friend, Lover, Sister, Mother/Wife," and even "The One," make this clear to me. "Let's Have a Baby" and "Friend, Lover, Sister, Mother/Wife," on their own stand out in feeling, depth, and devotion. To me, Mayte has a place in the Prince universe is alongside Sheila E, the Revolution, and the core members of the NPG. Prince's music proves that she was his true love. The love songs he wrote for her are unmatched and proof that of all the women he loved, he loved her the most intensely. She will always be a big part of his story.

[Edited 4/9/17 10:01am]

[Edited 4/9/17 10:24am]

[Edited 4/9/17 10:26am]

[Edited 4/9/17 10:28am]

LBrent said:

206Michelle, I feelya and I also felt better about 4/21 after reading the book. I agree that many of the decisions P made brought him to 4/21, but for me whatever he was up to was merely a part of the purple continuum.

Throughout the years I've never thought about the man seperate from his actions seperate from his artistry. It was all pieces to the complete puzzle that I've been trying to assemble all these years. Without one piece the puzzle was still unfinished for me.

I watch P's videos and notice stuff I didn't notice before Mayte's book. And I should add, her book was far from the first P book I've read. I've read so many that's it got to be ridiculous. But hers resonated on many levels for me, levels I'd ignored over the years and levels that have resurfaced that had me extremely uncomfortable.

I'm not sure about anything religious. Frankly, organized religion has always been something that although I've studied alot about it, I decided early on it wasn't for me. But I do beleive there is a continuum of spirit. This I know. This I feel every day.

I can't articulate it adequately to someone else, but it's very clear in my heart and mind. P was part of that and that and many other reasons still having me loving him. I always will.

LBrent, I share your sentiments. I think we are struggling to adequately express what we are feeling about him, but I get the feeling that what you described and what I described is more or less the same experience that we are struggling to express.