ISaidLifeIsJustAGame said:

jayseajay said:

Maybe we should think about it. It seems like she was reaching out. Does anyone know what kind of response she got on her fb? Maybe a fam hug would help...

Jill received a lot of hateful responses so she posted something else again today. I will go find it for you if you want me to.

Yes, I'd like to know....and if that's the case, I really think maybe we should write to her. She's the first person who's really levelled about it, and I think, tried to make some contact with us...and she's really hurting...like Judith...I don't think they're gossiping, I think they're finding the 'we have to all keep pretending everything is fine even now when its really obvious it wasn't fine' thing hard to swallow, as well they might, and I kind of want her to know that a lot of us feel it too...

jayseajay said:

ISaidLifeIsJustAGame said:

Jill received a lot of hateful responses so she posted something else again today. I will go find it for you if you want me to.

Yes, I'd like to know....and if that's the case, I really think maybe we should write to her. She's the first person who's really levelled about it, and I think, tried to make some contact with us...and she's really hurting...like Judith...I don't think they're gossiping, I think they're finding the 'we have to all keep pretending everything is fine even now when its really obvious it wasn't fine' thing hard to swallow, as well they might, and I kind of want her to know that a lot of us feel it too...

Photobucket is not cooperating today! I will continue to try to post Jill's message. Hang on.

[Edited 8/23/16 11:55am]

Krystalkisses said:

jayseajay said:

Really. The denial was strong with that one

I feel bad for Mayte. She seemed like she was finally at a good place and ready to really let go of him and her past, enjoying being a mom to her daughter and this all happens and she gets sucked right back in...Prince could be pretty toxic in his relationsips let's just keep it real....and I'm not criticising him either alot of his behavior was unconcious due to a painful childhood....I don't know if he ever really delt with that but it seems like there were many causalties in his love life...Mayte being one..

No, I don't think he ever dealt with it. He just kept moving forwards all the time, and I really don't think he ever learned how to let himself feel bad stuff or acknowledge bad stuff...and yes, Mayte was a casualty of that, and in the end, I think P was himself... If I had a time machine I'd go and wring his mother's neck first of all...but then he might never have become the incredible thing he became

ISaidLifeIsJustAGame said:

jayseajay said:

Yes, I'd like to know....and if that's the case, I really think maybe we should write to her. She's the first person who's really levelled about it, and I think, tried to make some contact with us...and she's really hurting...like Judith...I don't think they're gossiping, I think they're finding the 'we have to all keep pretending everything is fine even now when its really obvious it wasn't fine' thing hard to swallow, as well they might, and I kind of want her to know that a lot of us feel it too...

Photobucket is not cooperating today! I will continue to try to post Jill's message. Hang on.

[Edited 8/23/16 11:55am]

Thanku xox

jayseajay said:

Krystalkisses said:

I feel bad for Mayte. She seemed like she was finally at a good place and ready to really let go of him and her past, enjoying being a mom to her daughter and this all happens and she gets sucked right back in...Prince could be pretty toxic in his relationsips let's just keep it real....and I'm not criticising him either alot of his behavior was unconcious due to a painful childhood....I don't know if he ever really delt with that but it seems like there were many causalties in his love life...Mayte being one..

No, I don't think he ever dealt with it. He just kept moving forwards all the time, and I really don't think he ever learned how to let himself feel bad stuff or acknowledge bad stuff...and yes, Mayte was a casualty of that, and in the end, I think P was himself... If I had a time machine I'd go and wring his mother's neck first of all...but then he might never have become the incredible thing he became

What a life he had...

Krystalkisses said:

jayseajay said:

No, I don't think he ever dealt with it. He just kept moving forwards all the time, and I really don't think he ever learned how to let himself feel bad stuff or acknowledge bad stuff...and yes, Mayte was a casualty of that, and in the end, I think P was himself... If I had a time machine I'd go and wring his mother's neck first of all...but then he might never have become the incredible thing he became

What a life he had...

Incredible. What he made of himself, his unrelenting drive and conviction and fearlessness. It takes my breath away. Even with everything that happened. It always will. PrinceForeverandForever.

Krystalkisses said:

jayseajay said:

I know this is kind of crazy but all afternoon I've been thinking about how much I'd like us - the fam - to write to her telling her how moved we are and thanks for telling the truth, and to be kind to herself.

Oh I know...I feel bad because she sounds like she feels so guilty...but really I don't know if there was much she could do...who knew that it would end up this way....this isn't her fault...

I'm in. If you want to write a note, I'd be happy to do this with you.

malbena said:

Krystalkisses said:

Oh I know...I feel bad because she sounds like she feels so guilty...but really I don't know if there was much she could do...who knew that it would end up this way....this isn't her fault...

I'm in. If you want to write a note, I'd be happy to do this with you.

Cool. Why don't we make some notes/do a draft and come back tomorrow (it's night here) and see what we've got. Is anyone who posted the message frome her fb friends and would be able to send it?

Krystalkisses said:

NinaB said:

Krystalkisses said: Parasites. Least Jill & Susan etc were making plans 2 go out 2 PP & fatten him up.

Yeah after reading JJ post about her gut feelings surrounding seeing Prince at Denise's memorial I have a lot of respect for her. She geninuley seemed to care about him...even if over the years he had not always treated her so nicely.

I can't figure out why Prince would want to hang around kids so young (ok maybe I can understand a man wanting to be with women in their early 20s) but friends? I can't really stomach the immaturity of people much younger than myself for too long ..was Prince honestly lonely? or just emotionally immature? I am really sad this is how his life ended....I really hoped that he was going to live a long life still preforming into his old age like James Brown....

Interesting topic. Prince certainly had no problems attracting young, beautiful women. I think he hung around younger women because they were aspiring artists. Some of them may have been "romantic". Both of his wives were considerably younger than he was. He was very close with Tamron Hall, who is in her 40s, so maybe he was attracted to her intellect, and her beauty, of course! Personally, I could not be with someone who is 20-years younger than me; eventually the age gap becomes a problem. Twenty-somethings have a different mindset and maturity level. However, I think Prince enjoyed being a mentor/teacher and he gravitated towards young women.

Krystalkisses said:

jayseajay said:

I know this is kind of crazy but all afternoon I've been thinking about how much I'd like us - the fam - to write to her telling her how moved we are and thanks for telling the truth, and to be kind to herself.

Oh I know...I feel bad because she sounds like she feels so guilty...but really I don't know if there was much she could do...who knew that it would end up this way....this isn't her fault...

Losing a loved one so suddenly brings upon "enormous" feelings of guilt, like "I coulda, woulda shoulda done more." My heart goes out to all of Prince's closest friends/ex-lovers, wives, etc., because I'm sure they are all feeling intense guilt and feel "if only".

Sorry to be blunt here, but when you lose a loved one, it SUCKS!! I lost my Mom suddenly, 2-1/2 years ago and I still feel gut-wrenching GUILT to this day!! I feel I didn't do enough. All the thoughts go through your head. I was in therapy for 2-years. The pain of loss never really goes away, we just learn to manage it and deal with it.

They say that "time" is the best healer.

[Edited 8/23/16 13:30pm]

jayseajay said:

Krystalkisses said:

I feel bad for Mayte. She seemed like she was finally at a good place and ready to really let go of him and her past, enjoying being a mom to her daughter and this all happens and she gets sucked right back in...Prince could be pretty toxic in his relationsips let's just keep it real....and I'm not criticising him either alot of his behavior was unconcious due to a painful childhood....I don't know if he ever really delt with that but it seems like there were many causalties in his love life...Mayte being one..

No, I don't think he ever dealt with it. He just kept moving forwards all the time, and I really don't think he ever learned how to let himself feel bad stuff or acknowledge bad stuff...and yes, Mayte was a casualty of that, and in the end, I think P was himself... If I had a time machine I'd go and wring his mother's neck first of all...but then he might never have become the incredible thing he became

Prince and Mayte's relationship/marriage was very complicated. Mayte was very young when she met Prince and they developed a friendship over time. The story I heard is that Mayte became Pregnant with Prince's child and so they got married. Sadly, they lost their newborn son (you already know this story), but what I'm trying to say here is that there is more to the story than what is put out on social media, and Prince was a very private person. I'm not saying Prince was perfect; he certainly had his faults, but so did Mayte. She did some "unkind" things to Prince as well and when he had the marriage annulled, she went on FB with her Mother and said unkind things about Prince. Prince never once bad-mouthed Mayte. He showed respect for the Mother of his child (deceased). Their love affair seemed like it was a fairy tale in most of our eye's, but I think there was a lot going on there than we know, and it's not really our business to know. The divorce had to have been very hard on them both.

Now, as for Prince's Mother and Father.....they probably weren't the best people equipped to be "parents". I think leaving home at the age of 12 and basically being on your own really changes you. Maybe Prince was always looking for that "true love", and he never got it? I don't know, but I think he tried. He really matured later on and became a better person. I give him so much credit for that because I come from a broken home, so I know what it's like not having that "father figure" around and a loving Mom. Sorry, I said more here than I should have, LOL.

[Edited 8/23/16 13:39pm]

[Edited 8/23/16 13:40pm]

[Edited 8/23/16 13:42pm]

cloveringold85 said:

jayseajay said:

No, I don't think he ever dealt with it. He just kept moving forwards all the time, and I really don't think he ever learned how to let himself feel bad stuff or acknowledge bad stuff...and yes, Mayte was a casualty of that, and in the end, I think P was himself... If I had a time machine I'd go and wring his mother's neck first of all...but then he might never have become the incredible thing he became

Prince and Mayte's relationship/marriage was very complicated. Mayte was very young when she met Prince and they developed a friendship over time. The story I heard is that Mayte became Pregnant with Prince's child and so they got married. Sadly, they lost their newborn son (you already know this story), but what I'm trying to say here is that there is more to the story than what is put out on social media, and Prince was a very private person. I'm not saying Prince was perfect; he certainly had his faults, but so did Mayte. She did some "unkind" things to Prince as well and when he had the marriage annulled, she went on FB with her Mother and said unkind things about Prince. Prince never once bad-mouthed Mayte. He showed respect for the Mother of his child (deceased). Their love affair seemed like it was a fairy tale in most of our eye's, but I think there was a lot going on there than we know, and it's not really our business to know. The divorce had to have been very hard on them both.

Now, as for Prince's Mother and Father.....they probably weren't the best people equipped to be "parents". I think leaving home at the age of 12 and basically being on your own really changes you. Maybe Prince was always looking for that "true love", and he never got it? I don't know, but I think he tried. He really matured later on and became a better person. I give him so much credit for that because I come from a broken home, so I know what it's like not having that "father figure" around and a loving Mom. Sorry, I said more here than I should have, LOL.

Yeah...I'm pretty sure Facebook wasn't a thing when Prince and Mayte split up.

cloveringold85 said:

jayseajay said:

No, I don't think he ever dealt with it. He just kept moving forwards all the time, and I really don't think he ever learned how to let himself feel bad stuff or acknowledge bad stuff...and yes, Mayte was a casualty of that, and in the end, I think P was himself... If I had a time machine I'd go and wring his mother's neck first of all...but then he might never have become the incredible thing he became

Prince and Mayte's relationship/marriage was very complicated. Mayte was very young when she met Prince and they developed a friendship over time. The story I heard is that Mayte became Pregnant with Prince's child and so they got married. Sadly, they lost their newborn son (you already know this story), but what I'm trying to say here is that there is more to the story than what is put out on social media, and Prince was a very private person. I'm not saying Prince was perfect; he certainly had his faults, but so did Mayte. She did some "unkind" things to Prince as well and when he had the marriage annulled, she went on FB with her Mother and said unkind things about Prince. Prince never once bad-mouthed Mayte. He showed respect for the Mother of his child (deceased). Their love affair seemed like it was a fairy tale in most of our eye's, but I think there was a lot going on there than we know, and it's not really our business to know. The divorce had to have been very hard on them both.

Now, as for Prince's Mother and Father.....they probably weren't the best people equipped to be "parents". I think leaving home at the age of 12 and basically being on your own really changes you. Maybe Prince was always looking for that "true love", and he never got it? I don't know, but I think he tried. He really matured later on and became a better person. I give him so much credit for that because I come from a broken home, so I know what it's like not having that "father figure" around and a loving Mom. Sorry, I said more here than I should have, LOL.

[Edited 8/23/16 13:39pm]

[Edited 8/23/16 13:40pm]

[Edited 8/23/16 13:42pm]

I agree with most of what you say...but I don't take the fact that she badmouthed him while he didn't really in his favor in this instance. He had all the power in that relationship, not only the age-gap, but also his status and y'now, him being the sexiest mofo in the world, Matye was not playing on a level field in that relationship, at all...I'm sure it was more complicated than we know, but my impression has always been that he emotinally abandoned her after the babies died...and tbh, he shouldn't have left his decision of who to marry to the chance of who happened to get pregnant...and then layered the whole thing with some intensely romanticized narrative about being soulmates and some previous life in Egypt...that's fucked up. I totally get why he was like this, and I have an enormous amount of compassion for the way his childhood left him with certain intimacy issues...but that also doesn't change the fact that I think he really did a number on Mayte, and yes, he did become a better person...because basically he had an amazing heart and soul...but he still sometimes treated women in a way that makes my hair stand on end.

Ingela said:

I never knew the man but I can't and haven't read any of the articles. Can't avoid the headlines, but it will be a while before I can read these articles. Can't even try to understand how family and loved ones cope with this stuff. It's going to be a long rough haul. Bits and pieces are going to come out to cast the picture. And it hasn't even been 6 months.

Sad isn't it ?

ISaidLifeIsJustAGame said:

Right, that confirms it for me. I think Jill is awesome and we should send her some love. She loved him, and I think she spoke her truth b/c she loved him, and she knows we loved him and she's hurting and she knows we're hurting too. I don't doubt her motives at all. So, it anyone wants to put their name on a love letter to Jill, shout up.

[Edited 8/23/16 14:20pm]

jayseajay said:

ISaidLifeIsJustAGame said:

Right, that confirms it for me. I think Jill is awesome and we should send her some love. She loved him, and I think she spoke her truth b/c she loved him, and she knows we loved him and she's hurting and she knows we're hurting too. I don't doubt her motives at all. So, it anyone wants to put their name on a love letter to Jill, shout up.

[Edited 8/23/16 14:20pm]

PS - thanks for hunting that down...Are you fb friends with her/could pass on a messgae from us?

I can't believe Jill is getting flack about her original post. It was poignant, and heartfelt, and she was speaking her truth honestly and openly. I say, "Brava," for that.

endiadj said:

I appreciate the posts from Mani, Mayte, Jill, etc. I really look forward to hearing from Apples. Prince was so private with his personal life. Never gave the media anything to work with in life to try to destroy him. Now they're all making up for it in his death. It's disgusting!

Apples talked about Prince right after his death.

The ONLY person I really haven't heard from regarding his death is Terry Lewis. Since Jimmy Jam had talked a lot and Andre, I was hoping to hear from Terry but so far, no dice.

Yeah so people have been talking about Prince. It really depends on the media you are getting your information from. Mainstream vs. Black Media OR American vs. British media. Local MN media vs. major rock magazines, etc.

Okay, this is what I've got:

Dear Jill,

We know it’s a little weird to write such personal letters to strangers, but we wanted to reach out to you to say thank you for your words and let you know how moved many of us at the org were by them. Thank you for telling the truth, because the silence and the insistence that everything was fine has been hard to process, when now with hindsight it is so clear that everything was not fine at all. It wasn’t even just the weight, but, exactly as you say, his chi was really off, and for someone with energy usually as clear and powerful as his, you can feel it – or its absence - even through the images. We cannot begin to imagine how devastated you feel, as we are all completely devastated, and our relationship to him was only through the work and what he meant to us. Please know that even though we didn’t know him, many of us still identify with your feeling of wanting to have saved him. What happened stimulates such a powerful protective urge, to somehow go back, and as you say, kidnap him and lock him up and watch over him until he was safe…even knowing he was probably the most difficult person in the world to kidnap and inflict care on if he didn’t want it. But we wanted to send you some love and say we hope you can be kind to yourself. It was not you that dropped the ball, and as hard as it is, it was his decision to be surrounded by people who were not wise or strong enough to see what was wrong and do something about it until it was too late. He ran so hard, and for most of his life it worked, until finally it so tragically didn’t, and maybe that is something nobody could have changed unless he decided to change it himself, and there seems to be no suggestion he ever considered anything other than always moving relentlessly forward at whatever cost to himself, his relationships or his body. He was always going to do whatever he thought he needed to do to keep going until he couldn’t any more. And even as it feels like such an unspeakably wrong ending for him, maybe there is nothing anyone could have done to change the general form of it, even though every fibre in us wants to be able to try, desperately, however impossible it is.

We hope this is not too presumptuous. We just wanted to reach out and let you know that the fam feel you, and we are grateful that someone who had known him for so long has told the truth and spoken to us and our deep concern about what happened to him. We know we didn’t know him, and at the same time, he poured so much of himself into that work, and the connection we had with him was meaningful, on both sides we believed, and it feels hard to be dismissed as people who simply didn’t know him at all, when if art is real, then the connection and the love is real as well.

You are in all our thoughts, and so much love to you on behalf of the fam. Thank you for speaking your truth.

jayseajay said:

Krystalkisses said:

I feel bad for Mayte. She seemed like she was finally at a good place and ready to really let go of him and her past, enjoying being a mom to her daughter and this all happens and she gets sucked right back in...Prince could be pretty toxic in his relationsips let's just keep it real....and I'm not criticising him either alot of his behavior was unconcious due to a painful childhood....I don't know if he ever really delt with that but it seems like there were many causalties in his love life...Mayte being one..

No, I don't think he ever dealt with it. He just kept moving forwards all the time, and I really don't think he ever learned how to let himself feel bad stuff or acknowledge bad stuff...and yes, Mayte was a casualty of that, and in the end, I think P was himself... If I had a time machine I'd go and wring his mother's neck first of all...but then he might never have become the incredible thing he became

We can't blame everything on childhood. Eventually, children become adults who have their own life experiences that can help shape the decisons they make as later adults.

Prince had some failed relationships and marriages. Period. It happens.

And to be honest, being together and STAYING together is not the barometer of a healthy and happy marriage either.

jayseajay said:

cloveringold85 said:

Prince and Mayte's relationship/marriage was very complicated. Mayte was very young when she met Prince and they developed a friendship over time. The story I heard is that Mayte became Pregnant with Prince's child and so they got married. Sadly, they lost their newborn son (you already know this story), but what I'm trying to say here is that there is more to the story than what is put out on social media, and Prince was a very private person. I'm not saying Prince was perfect; he certainly had his faults, but so did Mayte. She did some "unkind" things to Prince as well and when he had the marriage annulled, she went on FB with her Mother and said unkind things about Prince. Prince never once bad-mouthed Mayte. He showed respect for the Mother of his child (deceased). Their love affair seemed like it was a fairy tale in most of our eye's, but I think there was a lot going on there than we know, and it's not really our business to know. The divorce had to have been very hard on them both.

Now, as for Prince's Mother and Father.....they probably weren't the best people equipped to be "parents". I think leaving home at the age of 12 and basically being on your own really changes you. Maybe Prince was always looking for that "true love", and he never got it? I don't know, but I think he tried. He really matured later on and became a better person. I give him so much credit for that because I come from a broken home, so I know what it's like not having that "father figure" around and a loving Mom. Sorry, I said more here than I should have, LOL.

[Edited 8/23/16 13:39pm]

[Edited 8/23/16 13:40pm]

[Edited 8/23/16 13:42pm]

I agree with most of what you say...but I don't take the fact that she badmouthed him while he didn't really in his favor in this instance. He had all the power in that relationship, not only the age-gap, but also his status and y'now, him being the sexiest mofo in the world, Matye was not playing on a level field in that relationship, at all...I'm sure it was more complicated than we know, but my impression has always been that he emotinally abandoned her after the babies died...and tbh, he shouldn't have left his decision of who to marry to the chance of who happened to get pregnant...and then layered the whole thing with some intensely romanticized narrative about being soulmates and some previous life in Egypt...that's fucked up. I totally get why he was like this, and I have an enormous amount of compassion for the way his childhood left him with certain intimacy issues...but that also doesn't change the fact that I think he really did a number on Mayte, and yes, he did become a better person...because basically he had an amazing heart and soul...but he still sometimes treated women in a way that makes my hair stand on end.

THIS!

Don't get me wrong, I love me some Prince. I listen and listened to him or his songs pretty much everyday. Way before his death. I loved his artistry, his humor, loved his activism, all the great stuff.

BUT, at the same time, Prince did do things with Women that made me go, reall? After a certain point in his life, he got older but the women got much younger and that was because he could control them more. I mean dating 17 and 18 year olds when you are in your 30's is NOT a guy looking for his "soulmate".

cloveringold85 said:

Krystalkisses said:

Yeah after reading JJ post about her gut feelings surrounding seeing Prince at Denise's memorial I have a lot of respect for her. She geninuley seemed to care about him...even if over the years he had not always treated her so nicely.

I can't figure out why Prince would want to hang around kids so young (ok maybe I can understand a man wanting to be with women in their early 20s) but friends? I can't really stomach the immaturity of people much younger than myself for too long ..was Prince honestly lonely? or just emotionally immature? I am really sad this is how his life ended....I really hoped that he was going to live a long life still preforming into his old age like James Brown....

Interesting topic. Prince certainly had no problems attracting young, beautiful women. I think he hung around younger women because they were aspiring artists. Some of them may have been "romantic". Both of his wives were considerably younger than he was. He was very close with Tamron Hall, who is in her 40s, so maybe he was attracted to her intellect, and her beauty, of course! Personally, I could not be with someone who is 20-years younger than me; eventually the age gap becomes a problem. Twenty-somethings have a different mindset and maturity level. However, I think Prince enjoyed being a mentor/teacher and he gravitated towards young women.

I think for some of the people they were aspiring artists BUT I also think that they may had thought there was more to their own relationship with Prince. I really feel Judith felt that way.

I think people like Tamron Hall and Van Jones saw only certain sides of him, but he was honest with them when he showed them those sides.

Then people like Tavis Smiley, Spike Lee and Erykah Badu got a little deeper with him and he also did things with them professionally as well. But still these "professional friends".

Then you got people like let's say Lenny Kravitz, his wives, Cat and maybe the guys from NPG that knew how cool he was but ALSO knew and seen his other sides.

Then finally, you get into the inner circle. Those that knew him really well and those that knew him really well but perhaps had not been around him. I think people like Morris, Andre, Shelia, Jill, Shelby, even Jimmy Jam. I think those are the kinds of people that knew him the best. That REALLY knew him.

GhostChick said:

GhostChick said:

We can't blame everything on childhood. Eventually, children become adults who have their own life experiences that can help shape the decisons they make as later adults.

Prince had some failed relationships and marriages. Period. It happens.

And to be honest, being together and STAYING together is not the barometer of a healthy and happy marriage either.

i appreciate what you're saying here but prince really is the bad guy in a lot of his break-ups. that is not to say that he WAS a bad guy,but he obviously didn't know how have a relationships, to take in love and care and nuturing. tht made toxic in so many ways.

-

i would add that having a willingness to stay in a relationship and work through problems is a good barometer for a healthy marriage. prince was clearly NOT willing to do that with either marriage and other business relationships. "my way or i'm leavin" is not healthy,wise or mature. but that's exactly how he lived in ALL of his relationships. and a lifetime of wreckage behind you doesn't speak well of person - prince or anyone else.

-

i don't remember mayte saying anything bitchy about him when they divorced. she seemed to fall off the earth and then resurfaced with tommy lee for a minute. i always thought the rumors about a shotgun wedding were bitchy and unfounded. she was a healthy 22 yo how hard is it for them to get pregnant when u stop taking ur pills. people are just being shady.

ISaidLifeIsJustAGame said:

jayseajay said:

jayseajay said:

malbena said:

I'm in. If you want to write a note, I'd be happy to do this with you.

Cool. Why don't we make some notes/do a draft and come back tomorrow (it's night here) and see what we've got. Is anyone who posted the message frome her fb friends and would be able to send it?

I replied to her post with positive vibes. I'd be happy to read your draft and co-sign as well. Anything I can do for Jill.

jayseajay said:

Okay, this is what I've got:

Dear Jill,

We know it’s a little weird to write such personal letters to strangers, but we wanted to reach out to you to say thank you for your words and let you know how moved many of us at the org were by them. Thank you for telling the truth, because the silence and the insistence that everything was fine has been hard to process, when now with hindsight it is so clear that everything was not fine at all. It wasn’t even just the weight, but, exactly as you say, his chi was really off, and for someone with energy usually as clear and powerful as his, you can feel it – or its absence - even through the images. We cannot begin to imagine how devastated you feel, as we are all completely devastated, and our relationship to him was only through the work and what he meant to us. Please know that even though we didn’t know him, many of us still identify with your feeling of wanting to have saved him. What happened stimulates such a powerful protective urge, to somehow go back, and as you say, kidnap him and lock him up and watch over him until he was safe…even knowing he was probably the most difficult person in the world to kidnap and inflict care on if he didn’t want it. But we wanted to send you some love and say we hope you can be kind to yourself. It was not you that dropped the ball, and as hard as it is, it was his decision to be surrounded by people who were not wise or strong enough to see what was wrong and do something about it until it was too late. He ran so hard, and for most of his life it worked, until finally it so tragically didn’t, and maybe that is something nobody could have changed unless he decided to change it himself, and there seems to be no suggestion he ever considered anything other than always moving relentlessly forward at whatever cost to himself, his relationships or his body. He was always going to do whatever he thought he needed to do to keep going until he couldn’t any more. And even as it feels like such an unspeakably wrong ending for him, maybe there is nothing anyone could have done to change the general form of it, even though every fibre in us wants to be able to try, desperately, however impossible it is.

We hope this is not too presumptuous. We just wanted to reach out and let you know that the fam feel you, and we are grateful that someone who had known him for so long has told the truth and spoken to us and our deep concern about what happened to him. We know we didn’t know him, and at the same time, he poured so much of himself into that work, and the connection we had with him was meaningful, on both sides we believed, and it feels hard to be dismissed as people who simply didn’t know him at all, when if art is real, then the connection and the love is real as well.

You are in all our thoughts, and so much love to you on behalf of the fam. Thank you for speaking your truth.

Agree 100%