BEVERLY HILLS, CALIF. — I woke up a better woman today.
God help me to write this.
These last two weeks have been quite difficult . Surreal and also confusing. I have felt emotions that are unexplainable. The morning of Feb. 15 my brother Ahmir Khalib “Questlove” Thompson reached out to me that "Vanity" just passed.
I quickly searched online and it was a woman in Ohio, not Denise.
Not "our" Denise Matthews. But I then started to get a sick feeling in my stomach. I researched again because I know my dear Questlove is like Yoda.
I find photos of me saying that I am dead. I then see photos that Denise Matthews has died. RIP Vanity.
Closed my laptop.
Stood up. Felt like years of emotions ripped into my heart. I stood there feeling guilt that she was gone and I was the one alive.
I felt I had lost a piece of myself in a way. A fan wrote that she was watching “Purple Rain” and crying.
My legs got weak , I saw white and my loved one caught me.
Denise was gone.
Her journey had suddenly ended. Gone far too young. So beautiful. Such a force. Denise was no longer in pain.
I felt such sorrow for her.
For her family and loved ones.
For Prince.
For the entire Prince Family. For her fans. I searched for ways to make sense of it all . I called my beautiful sister Jill Jones-Mühlum and we cried.
Jill and I decided to drive together and attend Denise's memorial service near Oakland.
I had to be there. We all had to be there. On the morning of Feb. 27, 2016 Jill and I entered the church.
We see family we had not seen in 30 years. That in itself was overwhelming. I walk towards Susan Moonsie and Brenda Bennett and hug them both at the same time, My heart just burst to pieces but I had to keep it together.
"Don't cry," said Brenda, as Susan held me and repeated her same words.
Felt like I swallowed glass. We had spoken on the phone but this is the first time we see each other in person. Jill, Susan, Brenda and I sit together along with Jamie Shoop.
The service was filled with so much love for Denise.
Her family mourned. We all mourned.
Many sang and shared stories. For me personally , the most compelling person who spoke was my sister Brenda Bennett.
During the service both Brenda and I were Baptized and we are certain Denise was giggling as she got her way with us one last time.
It was beautiful, the love Denise had for Christ.
She was ready to go home. No longer in pain and now an angel in Heaven.
Still in disbelief we all decided to retire to our hotels to rest. We arranged to meet for dinner. Susan, Brenda and Jill along with our friends and family had dinner in San Francisco.
We were also joined by my brother from another mother Questlove who flew in from New York just for the service.
This is one of the many reasons why I adore him. For always being so selfless.
After dinner we walked the cold streets of Fisherman's Wharf to Ghirardelli Square at midnight.
The following day we joined Prince in Oakland. Sitting in front of Prince as he played piano on stage and sang to us was epic. He announced to the audience that we were there.
We sang along, cheered him on, had tears, and laughed out loud at his adorable antics while he mesmerized us all.
We felt his pain and his love for Denise. We felt his love and joy that we were there with him. The songs took us ladies on a personal journey that we will never forget.
We are forever a family and there is a bond between us all that can never be broken.
To celebrate Denise's life, to celebrate our reunion, to celebrate our lives and the life of Prince, we all head out to a private gathering.
Great time indeed being together.
Watching Susan and Jill show Prince photos of their beautiful and talented brood was so cool.
The following day everyone either flew or drove home.
Jill and I shared quality time on the drive and came to the realization that indeed as Jill wrote so eloquently on her Facebook: “We ladies are THE ORIGINALS.”
Vanity 6.
Apollonia 6.
Jill Jones.
Lisa & Wendy.
Sheila E.
And this also includes original member of Vanity 6 (before Denise Matthews entered the scene), Jaime Shoop, who sang in the group then became Prince's first manager.
An honor for us all.
Knowing this, I am forever honored to have met Denise Matthews.
I am forever honored to have shared so many brilliant moments with my sisters Jill Jones, Brenda Bennett, Susan Moonsie, Sheila E. and Lisa and Wendy.
I am forever honored to have shared such success and happiness with Prince.
This is why I have woken up a better woman today.
I am so grateful for what God has given me. That I am a member of this beautiful family. Thank you friends and family for your support all these years.
But most of all, thank you Denise for praying for me. For praying for all of us.
Your sister Patricia told me about your wishes for us.
We love U.
You will always be with us in spirit.
Rest in bliss princess.
Denise Matthews: Heaven has a new angel.
Apollonia Kotero is a singer and actress who rose to fame in 1984 with her starring role as "Apollonia" opposite Prince in the movie, "Purple Rain." Kotero was brought in to replace Vanity in the movie, as well as in the group Vanity 6, which was redubbed Apollonia 6.