or does she have to sacrifice everything in the name of success?
why can't ppl deal with an ambitious woman?

Unfortunately ambitious women are seen in a bad light but there's NOTHING at all wrong with having the drive and determination to do what you want to do - GO FOR IT!!!!! the world is your oyster

i think i'll feel better in the morning. ta hon x
[This message was edited Tue Jun 22 19:00:43 2004 by msserendipity]

Here's my attempt at inspiration for the night:
There's nothing wrong with being ambitious and you shouldn't have to sacrifice anything for success. Stay true to yourself and never give up on your ideals, and you'll find people who love and respect you for who you are. Special deserving people are out there, and if you're patient you'll find them and be happy in life. Ambition is a good thing. Don't ever set your dreams aside for anyone. If they can't deal with you, they don't deserve the opportunity to deal with you.

sniff sniff..thanks mirror
i am who i am. i can be selfish at times but i'm till a sensitive soul. and the mad thing is ....feeling shite just makes me want to work harder ..so its a catch 22!

msserendipity said:

i think there are some weak people who can't.

ignore these people.

msserendipity said:

I'm not sure I understand the "or" there. How are those two opposite?

You shouldn't have to sacrifice in order to succeed -- no one should -- but we all (men and women) frequently do so. Depending on what we choose to sacrifice, this could show our committment to our goals, or it could show that we are blinded only by success. In other words, ambition can be good or bad.

As for whether it is wrong for women to be ambitious, of course not. That belief is just something else you have to deal with (that men for the most part don't). That's probably especially true in your business.





I bet you thought I was going to say:

2the9s said:

you just did.
but vey eloquently puts 9's.
i'm talking about sacrifycing firnedships here. if you are so focussedo n your work and less so on your friends who clearer demand more from you. should friendship be unconditional.

msserendipity said:

It should be, but not only for you. For them too.

i haven't slept at all

REDFEATHERS said:

i thnk there is only so much my heart and mind can take

msserendipity said:

Sod them sammy, you are who you are and thats that. Your work/talent keeps you going, take that away and you wont be a happy bunny.

If peeps want you to be down and unsuccessful, then they arent friends, so steer clear of them and mix with ppl as ambitious as you

Depends. If you have ambition, that's great, but sometimes it's just not the right time or situation and it can ultimately be a problem, in a relationship for example.

People sometimes put their ambitions before their relationships. That can definitely be a bad thing. It depends where your priorities lie.

Some people can be perfectly happy without being ambitious and reaching for things. Some are happy with a simple, humble existence.

Friends, family and partners are important and sometimes it just may not be worth sacrificing them. Perhaps we have to make sacrifices for them and our ambition may be thing we give up. No shame in it. Just have to make a decision.

I think u can expect a lot from the people u care about (and who care about u), but remember they're only human, do not have unlimited patience, and do deserve your time and attention.

However, if your relationships are not worth more than what you're striving for they're obviously not lasting ones u really care about.

As ever, a balance is best. Be as ambitious as u can while still maintaining relationships with all the people that matter to u. As long as u have enough time and energy to feel like ur representing yourself properly in your relationships, all is well.

Famboozled said:

makes so much sense and maybe i have not given the attention to my firends as i should have. it just seems that its too late now. they have let things build up for so long, they now resent me. i've always believed in openess and honesty and they have not given me that. i suppose people all deal with things differently..and i've ended up in this postion now where i feel lost, confused and with no idea how to deal with it.

msserendipity said:

No, it's never too late. Interesting u mention honesty. U can't lose with honesty. I find it hard to believe that the feelings of resentment wouldn't go away if u told the people how u feel about the whole dilemma. Believe me, with honesty u can never lose. They may not have been honest with u but U be the one to bring it all together. The thing about friends is that we expect a good friend to never hurt us or betray us, but friends still do that. It doesn't mean they don't care. We all make mistakes and our friends are no different. U just need to give even more to get this situation back, even if sometimes u feel the effort should be coming more from them. U make the effort and show the honesty and be the example.

Just be honest. That'll start things on the way to some kind of peace of mind.

REDFEATHERS said:

I know what ur saying Red but even the best of best friends are not infallible. If placed under enough strain they too can seem to betray u or be unsupportive. It doesn't mean u should toss them aside. It may well be a sign that ur asking just that little bit too much of someone. Remember that friendships need to be maintained. Just because u were friends with someone before, and maybe for many years, doesn't mean u can expect complete unconditional friendship from them. It's your friendship with the person now that is in question. U can't expect friends to be the friends u want and need if u don't put in the time now. For real friendships u need to keep it going - make the time and give as much of yourself as u'd expect in return. Ambition is great so long as it's not all-consuming, IF your relationships are important to u. If not, ambition has no limits, but we know where that ends.

msserendipity said:

You raise an interesting question here. Yes, it would be nice if friendships - and other types of relationships for that matter - were unconditional, but they are not.

Should they be? Not really. Any relationship - friendship or otherwise - requires work; it doesn't take care of itself.

Cheer up sweetie, you know U got it going on

Famboozled said:[quote]

msserendipity said:

its like a therapy session today! i'm in a position where anything i do i will feel i am treading on egg shells. one of my friends has already said to me that....she is a lot fairer.....i am who i am....it may be that we have just moved on and want different things now. the other just wants me to be a certain kind of person. and its all unfortunately bought around the issues of me being so focused on my work. they want to meet next week...but right now i feel so weak i don't know i can take any more "attacks" on my personality. we've been friends for so long..and maybe we have moved on but i was always consider them my best mates..no matter what they have ever done. so much has been said.

anyway..i'm doing it again..and focusing on myself. i'll stop now.
thanks for your views, they make sense.

is it so wrong for a woman to be ambitious?


Yes, get in that kitchen and make me some dinner and when Ur done with that come suck my schlong

PoorLittleBastard said:

You know that you will get your ass kicked if my diner is not ready when I'm coming home

Hey! TIME OUT thread jackers!!!

This is such a sensitive thread about a delicate cross roads in someone's life....

.... So come y'all, appropriate contributions please!

Dynamo said:

hey it ok..thanks for that though
i like humour too....and it did make me smile.

Sorry Dynamo



ahhhh who am i kidding!!!!

PoorLittleBastard said:

msserendipity said:

No biggy pal . The humour is fine, just wanted to stem the flow of jacking coz I've seen that stuff initiate huge chains in other threads.

Nothing personally PoorLittleBastard & AndGodCreatedMe, sorry for any offence


Msserendipity (you got a shorter name to type! ) , I wonder if you know from other friends whether the friends in question in this topic are actually feeling just as low as you, privately within themselves? I can't make out whether your sad emtions are only flowing one way.

Chin up either way in the meantime, alright!

Dynamo said:

they are very upset with me and basically feel they've had enough. and i had to coax the issues out of them. its worse now because its built up so long and i feel just lost.

Dynamo said:

Don't worry abt it

msserendipity said:

I feel that there's some good advice on this thread from thoughtful people, take from that...
I know it's easier said than done coz you're probably feeling so alone right now, but don't
bottle up feeling and isolate yourself, that'll be the worst thing you can do. Make sure you take comfort in the friends you presently have and can talk to, like mates who know you and the other party.

Good luck Sammy