If ya don't mind my asking, in what state do you live?

Zelaira said:

Zelaira said:

Are you okay??

Zelaira said:

luv4u said:

Looking at her like that is not going to help!

althom said:

Well I don't wanna freak her out.

Zel dear get yourself together.

starkitty said:

Zelaira, please listen to these wise words. i think you have a serious problem or disorder and there are people who will take care of you, but you have to take the first step.

althom said:

taking a new avatar does?

dawntreader said:

Read this, maybe you regognice yourself. Get help soon! You're worth it!
http://www.prince.org/msg/100/96474

This thread is kinda scary...

Zelaira...baby, sweetness,honey dipped sugar lolly with chocolate spinkles...

Life, when it becomes unbearable is not over. Perhaps just a part of Ur life is over. We don't have 2 wait 2 die 2 be re-incarnated, we can change ourselves and our lives as easily as we can change our Org identity and avatar.

Check out:

Saul became Paul in the Bible
Prince became
Terence Trent D'arby became Sananda
My real name on my birth certificate is 'Genesis' but I changed it 2 Jason

U can be and become whoever U wish 2 be but in order 2 do that U must live...
If U wanna die make sure U only kill off the parts of U, U don't like and replace them with parts that U do...

We all love U on the Org...

PoorLittleBastard said:

what he said

.
[This message was edited Mon Jun 7 19:41:53 2004 by mrdespues]

I hope you get better soon Zelaira. You´re one of a kind, girl

Hi Zelaira, I dont think I have ever spoken to ya before, but will do today if thats ok.

My head was pretty messed up a few years back, long storey, and I did feel similar to the way you do at the moment. I became very preoccupied with those thoughts, and looking back that was a very scarey time for me.
Life has a funny way of bitting you on the ass when you really dont need it. People are people, and there are good peps, and bad, and just coz a doctor has passed his exams doesnt always mean he will be good at what he does.
Thanks to my friends and family, I managed to work things through in my head, and feel that I learnt a lot from that era of my life.
Its seems like there are a lot of people here who wanna do good things for ya, and if ya missed your buddies in NY, then call them, visit if ya can, let people in and keep an open mind if ya can.
I cant tell ya how to or what to do, and hope that you reaching out to all of us at the org is the start of better times for you.
Finally, I took St.Johns Wort during that period, and I dunno if it would help you, and take advice first if you decide to because I am no doctor, but it seemed to help me out.

Take care Zelaira

Adam

Zelaira said:

I am in this spot more often than not. How do I overcome it? My children - they're all that keeps me here.

Go play with your little girl. Look at her smile. Hear her laughter. If you think that your friends from New York will help lift your spirits, give them a call. And, if you were once one that had faith in god, I wouldn't be turning my back on that faith just yet... not during this time.

And... fuck the concerts and the chocolate. If you're serious about your depression being so bad that you have serious thoughts of ending your life, call that suicide hotline that StarKitty posted or call your doctor or emergency. The latter two will admit you to a care facility to run tests and get you the help that you need.

Yes, I have, but thankfully I didn't stay there too long. I was broken, cried all day... locked my damn keys in my car 3 fucking times in one day because all I could think about was why I was hurting. All I could feel was the pain.

Luckily I have great friends and connections with a few orgers that literally stopped me from sliding down and even more hazardous path.I'm a pretty tough bitch, I can and DO take a lot of shit on my shoulders (Just look at what I do for a living if you need proof of this!) but I do try and usually succeed in reaching a balance, I try to see both the good and bad side of things, I try to be realistic and when I am unable to stay logical I always have my bestest friend Byron to help keep me from being "Sybil" for too long , and Pill to help me see the humorous side of whatever unpleasant situation I may be in. ( Thanks guys I love you both SO much! ) Nesseone has also become a good friend in the past few weeks Always sweet, always kind and always positive! She's a great person to know!

Z, if you feel this bad please talk to someone, a friend, a loved one, a doctor, try to take pride in yourself, change what is bothering you about your life, accept that you are beautiful just the way God made you. Stay busy, throw yourself into your work, your family. Pray.

The most important thing you can do is to stay focused on what you really want from yourself and from your life. and go out and make it happen.
It's not easy but if I can do it so can you.

We do love you the org is just one big incestuous, riotous family, but trust me there is A LOT of love here.

Note me if you want to talk.

AzureStarr said:

I've orgnoted U Zel. Really, best of luck. I hope you pull through. Depression's a bastard

Whoa!!! Zelaira?

Where do you live? If I were there, I would call someone on your behalf to schedule an inpatient intervention. You really should think about admitting yourself, just temporarily, until you are more stabilized. It's for your own good, and you can get some rest. Can you have a family member take care of your child for a few weeks? You may just be overwhelmed at the moment. I've been there many times, but it ALWAYS gets better. This too shall pass.

OK, I'll admit it. I was diagnosed with Major Depression many years ago. I was younger, and my twenties SUCKED THE BIG ONE! I was so depressed all the time, I hated having to go through the daily grind. I wanted to kill myself many, many times, but you know what?!

I don't want to do that anymore. It just took several years of learning to cope and to accept certain things I had no control over. Often, I think of how wasteful it would have been to commit suicide. I have a daughter too. If you are in your early to mid twenties, I think that a lot of people that age that go through this phase. It changes at 30. BELIEVE ME. I've been there.

my god!! this thread...ohhh...ive had such a bad day...but this thread...oh...i cant stop laughing....


Thanks Zelaira!!! YOU ROCK!!

sosgemini said:

why is it funny?

starkitty said:

cause Zelaira is one crazy mo'fo.....she and POOK rock!!

sosgemini said:

it's kind of irritating to feel like i've been had.

you know?

i hope not, then again i hope so. i wish her the best, and i'm done with it.

Zelaira said:

take it from someone who knows, chocolate only makes you feel worse....physically and emotionally.

starkitty said:

sowwy...

but read the thread again....and dont tell me your not busting up laughing as u read it....

sosgemini said:

i'm not that cynical yet. i don't know. i take these kind of things seriously, especially because there is a child involved. yeah the chocolate thing smacks of ridiculousness. but saying her child won't have a mother just lights a fire in me.

personal experience, i guess.

starkitty said:

but is there a child involved? or is this all just for entertainment value?

sosgemini said:

Zelaira says she has a kid. This thread is bumming me out...