My uncle called me to tell me that my grandmother passed away from an apparant heart attack, according to the police and paramedics. He got to her house at 10:00am to pick her up for church. I was the first person he was able to get a hold of. I called my sister at work and we both got a hold of my mother on conference call who had already heard the message my uncle left her on the machine, but here's where the shit hits the fan:

My grandmother had a lot of things wrong with her: congestive heart failure, diabetes, she had had a stroke, had a shunt (sp?) put in her, had internal bleeding problems, and a pacemaker. She was 72. The last time I saw and talked to her was on Mother's Day. She had a little more "pep in her step" and I had a feeling she was going to go soon.

My mom and uncle (sister and brother) haven't been close since he married his wife (who is no where near pleasant) in the 80's. My grandma and uncle seemed to closer and well it's too much shit to get into, but my mom every once in awhile would say that when my grandma finally does pass away that she feels my uncle would make all the arrangements and not tell her till after the funeral that her mother died. Well, he didn't do that. He wants all of us to come to his house to discuss arrangements and my mom's already saying "I don't know. I'm just in shock right now" I know my mom doesn't want to be in his house with his wife, but it really doesn't matter at this point. I'm on my way to my mom's to try to convince her to go to my uncle's and I really don't think I should have to convince anybody to go to their sibling's house to discuss what to do with their dead mother! I can see the shit now and I'm not even there yet

I used to be close to my grandma until she fucked my mom over in her will 2 years ago by making my uncle the executor of her estate, then after him a non-relative, then the non-relative's wife!, then my mom. I think family should come first when dealing with your estate

Wish me luck
[This message was edited Sun May 23 13:22:30 2004 by Janfriend]

I am sorry! Keep strong..... My prayers go your way!

I'm sorry Janfriend. These things are always difficult. But I think you're a strong woman, and will be able to help your family and yourself through this tough time. Hang in there sweetie. Call me if you need to talk or a shoulder to cry on. You and your family are in my prayers.

i'm sorry janfriend.

Aw, I'm so sorry, sweetie. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm a good listener, so don't hesitate to sent me a message.

I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

I'm sorry for your loss. The best you can do for everyone is be strong ... I hate to say it but if you're up to it, you may want to mediate for your mom, or maybe ask your uncle if he will go to your mom's house. Now is definitely not the time to grind axes.


Best of luck to you and your family.

Also Janfriend -

let yourself grieve, too. In being strong for others, we often forget about ourselves.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Janfriend.

I'm sorry for your loss Janfriend.

I know we haven't talked 2 each other Janfriend, but I'm sorry 2 hear about the lost of your grandmother.

Stay strong, for Urself and the rest of your family.
[This message was edited Sun May 23 15:55:18 2004 by andykeen]

Good luck janfriend

Sorry bout your Grandmother. Hope ya are all Coping with the loss well.

Takecare Janfriend

Im so sorry to hear the news. I wish you strength and love.

Sorry to hear about your loss

im very sorry to hear of your loss

lilmissmissy said:

cosign...Janfriend hope you're OK

I had a horrible time of things when I lost my grandmother.

Awww... Sorry to hear this sweetie.... my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My condolences to you and your family.

Sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your loved ones

awww.....i just read about this..so sorry to hear jan...hope your family is managing through it okay...

Sorry for your loss.