PERSON WHO CAN COUNT
Looking for person who can count and wants to do something for his/her community. If you know how to add up the results of a survey and have the patience to do so, please post on this thread. Inexistant salary and no benefits to speak of except the undying gratitude of your fellow Orgers and the satisfaction one gets for work well done.

ARCH ENEMY
Aerogram Corporation is looking for an Arch Enemy to provide entertaining drama for the whole Org family. Must be skilled in sarcasm, devastating comebacks and clever retorts. Persistence a must.

ENTERTAINER
Looking for person who can entertain on this dreary afternoon. Song, dance, jokes, impressions, pictures, arguments and fake departures welcomed. Salary : to negotiate in sanddollars Benefits in the form of applause, cheers and adulation.

ORG DIVA
Brighten the day of hundreds of Orgers with your poise and towering presence. We wouldn't dream of making you apply for the job, so please just wave your hand.

POSTER
Person needed to reply on my threads. All style welcomed, pity posts tolerated. Gratitude assured, with understanding reciprocity is key.

THREAD CONSULTANTS NEEDED
Aerogram Corporation is looking for bright thread consultants with their ear on the ground. If you are capable of creating unusual yet accessible thread concepts and know how to catch everyone's attention without looking too much like a attention prostitute, we have a job for you.
THREAD-JACKER JACKER
Looking for person who can jack thread jackers on my threads. Highly developed insult skills needed.
[This message was edited Sat May 15 17:48:30 2004 by Aerogram]

I can't even read.

ENTERTAINER

Looking for person who can entertain on this dreary afternoon. Song, dance, jokes, impressions, pictures, arguments and fake departures welcomed. Salary : to negotiate in sanddollars Benefits in the form of applause, cheers and adulation.
[This message was edited Sat May 15 13:30:52 2004 by Aerogram]

Dear Aerogram:

I am writing in response to your posting for the position of Entertainer. At this moment the best I can come up with is to show you my breasts, which may or may not tickle your fancy. I don't have much experience in this department but I sure do have nice breasts.

Sincerely,
sk

THREAD-JACKER JACKER

Looking for person who can jack thread jackers on my threads. Highly developed insult skills needed.
[This message was edited Sat May 15 13:34:53 2004 by Aerogram]

starkitty said:

Dear Starkitty:

Thank you for submitting your application to the position of Entertainer. We presently and perpetually have no need for breast bearers. However, we understand you are an individual of many talents and will keep your resume in our files for our potential entertainment needs.

Sincerely,

Aerogram

I can only help to my own capacity.

No jacker-jackers needed, I have to go shower now.

I rain on your thread

starkitty said:

Dear Starkitty:

Thank you for your comments. We did not intend to imply you were jacking our threads. The ad is for our ongoing needs. Please accept our apologies for any false impression it might have created.

Sincerely,

Aerogram

Dear A,

I am still going to try my hardest to get that last fish half (or octopus half, whichever is the case).

Out.

sk

POSTER

Person needed to reply on my threads. All style welcomed, pity posts tolerated. Gratitude assured, with understanding reciprocity is key.

Aerogram said:

Dear Aerogram,

Fuck you.

Now, how about that "gratitude assured" ?

Kind regards
TheFrog

PS. Have pity on me. I didn't mean it.

Dear Aerogram,

Re: my previous application

In retrospect, I'm not sure swearing at you was the best way of applying for a job.
Please reconsider my application with the words, "Fuck you" replaced by, "I never say 'fuck you' to a potential employer, and i'm not about to start now".

Thanks in advance for your time and consideration.

Kind regards
TheFrog.

TheFrog said:

Dear The Frog,

Your application was automatically blocked by our Net Nanny. Should you learn to use proper language, your application would be welcomed.

Sincerely,

Aerogram

P.S. : fuck you too.
[This message was edited Sat May 15 14:21:20 2004 by Aerogram]
[This message was edited Sat May 15 17:14:05 2004 by Aerogram]

TheFrog said:

Dear TheFrog,

We are pleased to offer you a poster position in Aerogram Corporation, at a starting yearly salary of 45,000 Sanddollars. Please contact us at your earliest convenience if you wish to accept the position.

Sincerely,
Aerogram
[This message was edited Sat May 15 14:25:15 2004 by Aerogram]

THREAD CONSULTANTS NEEDED

Aerogram Corporation is looking for bright thread consultants with their ear on the ground. If you are capable of creating unusual yet accessible thread concepts and know how to catch everyone's attention without looking too much like a attention prostitute, we have a job for you.

Aerogram said:

I would like to apply for this position.

Sample post: .

I dont go in for elaborate replies, I feel that the above saves time, energy and is very concise.

Lleena said:

Dear Lleena,

We are pleased to offer you a poster position in Aerogram Corporation, at a starting yearly salary of 45,000 Sanddollars. Please contact us at your earliest convenience if you wish to accept the offer.

Sincerely,
Aerogram
[This message was edited Sat May 15 15:09:40 2004 by Aerogram]

Allo, allo?

ARCH ENEMY

Aerogram Corporation is looking for an Arch Enemy to provide entertaining drama for the whole Org family. Must be skilled in sarcasm, devastating comebacks and clever retorts. Persistence a must.

J0eyC0c0 said:

Dear JoeyCOco,

We are pleased to offer you a position of your choice in our Org Veteran Department. Should you wish to prevail yourself of this offer, please contact us at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,

Aerogram

Aerogram said:

Damn. If only you were hiring a year ago.

Always a day late and a dollar short.

AzureStarr said:

Dear AzureStar,

We regret to inform you your non-application has been rejected because you are too nice for the job

Sincerely,

Aerogram

Aerogram said:

Dear Aerogram,

Look no further.

Sincerely,

crazyhorse

crazyhorse said:

Dear CrazyHorse

We regret to inform you your application has been rejected onaccounta the fact we've got no bone to pick with you. Please feel free to apply for some of our other positions.

Sincerely,
Aerogram

starkitty said:

For starters whom that may work on and whom it may not!

Dear Sir,


I am tossing you my resume and certain you will best know where I am suited if at all, in your fine company!

Muse

Aerogram said:

I wouldn't get out out of bed for less than 80,000 Sanddollars, but I'll make an exception for you.


.

Lleena said:

But what will you do with all those sanddollars??

ORG DIVA

Brighten the day of hundreds of Orgers with your poise and towering presence. We wouldn't dream of making you apply for the job, so please just wave your hand.

Dear Aerogram,

After reading your reply it became obvious that I
didnt understand the position applied for.But,
"THREAD-JACKER JACKER" I do understand.
If that position is filled I'll let you decide whats best.

thanxxx
crazyhorse