Rhondab said:

Well said Rhondab

MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said:

Oh yes I got some. The worst ones were when I actually had to go get the wooden spoon, clothes hanger or belt myself. No hard feelings, I still love my mother to death.

People often say there better ways to discipline your children, I doubt it. I think you need to find out what works best for you and your kids. I think depending on how you do it and what your intentions are there are a few methods that might work. If your intentions are bad any type of disciplining can be cruel.

I got whoopins all the time, and yes, I deserved them.

But I do agree with Harlepolis, tho. Parents do need more of a "hand" in disciplining the kids. A good belt'n every now and then won't hurt. You don't have to BEAT the children, but when they step outta line, then so should your belt. Besides, grounding and other punishments only go so far.

.....and if you're in a grocery store and little "Billy" wants a toy and you tell him "no", that should be sufficient. If he starts clownin and cryin and just actin a fool, do you really think that sayin Stop that, Billy, or Stop it, young man are gonna help???? I say slap Billy's ass down!!

An ass beating/ whoopin/ spanking is not the way to teach any young human being or animal when it comes to being respectful or obidient. I am one person that won't say I never got my ass whooped once by my pops. He was raised by people with bad tempers and forceful habits and tried to do the same with me although he usually always showed me he was sorry be it 1 hour later or 10 hours after he would hit me. I am just happy I have learned from this and I know if and when I have a bunch of lil Peji's I will never raise my hands on them but more so treat them with love and care no matter how delicate I have to act while teaching them the right from the wrong!

Serious said:

not funny but useful sometimes imo and I don't think either that it's a way of teaching or the answer when there are problems

Yeah, I used to get my ass spanked when I was little.

But now-a-days, I love it.

My dad often hit the crap outta me when I was a kid

On more than one occasion he hit me unconcious and knocked several of my teeth out too

I still loved him tho , he was my dad and I must have been really bad or something .

Now that I am older I am unable to forgive him for what he has done and how his actions

have affected me even till this day . I find it almost impossible to trust anyone and always

assume that people think the worst of me or hate me on first impressions .

Anyway , parents out there Im not anti discipline but dont take out your own frustrations

on your kids

Much love Sunny Funny Face

I did and I'm glad too! I would have been a mess! I can count the spankings on one hand, OK, maybe two... When I did get a spanking I deserved it!

Most people who say, "don't hit children", don't have kids!! And if they do their kids are disrespectful to them and to other adults! In my experience, these kids are likely the ones doing the hitting, spitting, cursing, throwing tanturms, etc. I spanked my daughter and she is a respectful, kind and carries herself as a young lady.

There is a definate difference between children who are disciplined by spanking and those who are not. Children who have been spanked (not beaten, there is a difference) tend to be more respectful, at least in my experience. There is a line between spankings and beatings, you as an adult should know the difference.

Certain disciplines work for certain children, but it all stems from what state the parents are in. If the parents are screwed...you get the idea. Children are just like any adult in that they will only do what you allow them to do. If you allow talking back and temper tanturms, that is what they will do, and it only escalates as they get older. If you teach them to respect they will give it to you, but at the same time you must give it back.

PanthaGirl said:

I don't think anyone here is talking about BEATINGS, that's something entirely different. That is a problem the parents had, NO ONE deserves to get beaten.

SunnyFunnyFace said:

No offense, but your Dad has a problem. It is not OK, to knock your kids out!! You couldn't have done anything that bad!

My dad does have a problem ... he is dead now

and the terrible thing is that I dont really care that much

Im just sad that I always felt like a never had a dad

And no I was never that bad , Im talking about getting a beating cause dad was watching

something he liked on tv . Getting a beating cause he was drunk and the like

Much love Sunny Funny Face

Geritzla said:

if you had asked my father at the time, i'm sure he would have told you that it was "just a spanking, not a beating, i know the difference." if you think that people truly know the difference, talk to somebody who works for Child Protective Services.

spanking your children MAY be one way to deal with kids who are still learning about their role in the family and in society, but i can't believe anybody would consider it the BEST solution. so as long as there are alternatives, there MUST be a peaceful solution to guiding one's children through their development. other societies have found a way - we should always be on the lookout for the very best we can offer our children. they deserve it.

My mom was brutal, and I mean brutal..

Although I have no children, I practically raised my GodDaughter, and not once did I ever touch her... We talked alot..

I am totally against violence against children.. (Martina we have much in common)

sag10 said:

i'm sorry you had to go through that as a child, Sag. decidedly too many children and adults have these kinds of stories to tell...

IAmTheTouch said:

As I am for you!

In the long run, it has made our jouney in life more interesting.. And we were strong enough to endure.

I live by a home for sexually, physically abused children... What they have gone through is unbearable to one's heart.. Some may never recover from their traumas.

Rhondab said:

REDFEATHERS said:

i was asking if you had children, not if your parents hit you.

Seems to me that when you hit kids, you teach them that violence is an (the?) acceptable way to get other people to behave the way you want them to. Shocking, then, that domestic violence is so common? That the way nations handle conflict is war?

It might sound extreme to blame the existence of war on spanking, and of course it's not that simple, but I don't think it's outrageous to consider the connection. Every single person alive, at least initially, learned how to handle conflict from their parents.


can't-spell-edit
[This message was edited Mon May 3 11:14:02 2004 by tackam]

alright !!! so, i am reading these posts i am pretty sure we are totally talking about different things here, martina, you know i really think highly of you girl and i think that you stand for a lot of good things in the world, many of your causes are great, including child abuse, however, there is truely a difference in many of these ideas flooting around in here. you have to be able to see that. there is no way in hell i would ever hit one of my kids in a fashion that would harm their body. why would i ? i spent 9 months building that body, and everyday here on earth trying to protect them... while i think all the stories here are moving - believe it or not, i have tried to help more than one child i thought was being abused !! - the point is, just how many times are you gonna put a child in time out ? or take away their favorite toys ? or discuss the problem with the child ? my point is and has been since we started this discussion, IF YOU HAVE NO CHILDREN, its alright to have the views that you do, im not saying it isnt.....but, please dont judge those of us that do -- its a no win situation and there will be no good outcome of it. children are children, thats the deal, they are gonna act like kids act, and they are gonna fuck up, thats just the nature of the beast.... however, they are not allowed a free pass on their actions simply because we are afraid to take a hand in raising them, believe me, as a parent, spanking is a hard choice, one that i dont look forward too, but i believe a necessary part of "guiding your child" in life.
[This message was edited Mon May 3 11:16:15 2004 by nakedpianoplayer]

nakedpianoplayer said:

hi NPP - i hope i didn't come across as branding those who disagree with me child abusers, that was not my intention in any way. but i do feel strongly that there are wonderful alternatives to any kind of physical punishment.

I think my mother smacked me once. My father just took my head and my brothers head and bashed them together when we were camping

REDFEATHERS said:

While I watched my dad occasionally beat my older brother around, I only vaguely remember getting one spanking as a small child, and don't remember what it was for. I do remember once when I was about 14 having my dad come at me like he was gonna hit me and throwing a chair across the room cause I refused to call a local radio station and request a song for him. I stood up and said to his face, what you're going to hit me over this, go ahead. It was all about the idea of control and the fact that I flat out refused to do what he told me to. He didn't hit me, but swiped at my mom as she tried to stop him from doing anything. Now, to this day I don't think there was anything wrong with denying his request. I didn't want to do it, and I shouldn't have been made to feel I was doing something wrong by saying no. (They should be happy they rasied a girl strong enough to say no with conviction when she wanted to. Not an easy feat for a 14 year old girl with very little self-esteem.) The sad thing is I tried to leave the house, was told I could not so I went to my room and cried instead and a short time later my mom came in my room and told me to apologize to my dad. Apologize, for doing nothing wrong. It was one of the major turning points in my young life where after that I feel I pretty much raised myself. I had very little respect for either of my parents.


In any case, I am against violence and intimidation as a means to discipline a child. Living in fear of the people who are supposed to protect and nurture you is no way to live. I think there are alternative ways of teaching children right from wrong and basic discipline.

REDFEATHERS said:

Me too, Red. While it hurt like hell, I knew my parents did it because they were trying to teach me a lesson, "Don't EVER do that again!"

Reading the stories that you all have shared about being hit as children is making me sad, since I too was hit as a child. What's strange is that my older brothers claimed that I got everything I wanted when I was a kid, which is sooo not true. I got yelled at a lot too, sometimes for things that I didn't feel that I was deserving of.

Why is it that some people here will condone the "violent" act of spanking a child yet wouldn't condone that sort of action on an adult? Why dont we have the police spank the criminals so that they are taught a lesson? Why do adults have rights but children do not?

By spanking our children we just teach them that the way to solve a problem is by violence or at least violent acts. This cannot be right now can it?

bkw said:

Great point!

ok, i've been reading thorugh this thread and listening to everyone's stories got me thinking about my own childhood. my parnets didn't hit me, they were more of the verbal intimidator types, but i have had experiences with children who have been hit as a form of punishment. two incidents have stuck with me my whole life.

they both happened when i was about five and the first one was with this girl named mahogony. she told me to do something and i told her no. so she punched me in the back. i instantly started crying and was extremely upset because i never thought that anyone would ever do such a thing.

the other incident happened with this boy named clarence. i was teasing him and he told me to stop. i laughed or something and then he punched me in the throat. i couldn't breathe and thought that i would die.

both of these kids were physically disciplined at home and i have no doubt in my mind that this contributed to their behavior with me as well as with other children withn whom they had conflicts.

Many people on this thread have said that children who are physically disciplined are more respectful and better behaved, well i was never physically disciplined and i was always being complimented on my outstanding behavior throughout my childhood. it takes all kinds.

a punk ass bitch is a punk ass bitch. there are punk ass kids out there who were never physically disciplined and there are punk ass kids who have been physically disciplined. so no, not all parents who don't hit their kids are "good" parents, but neither are the ones who do.

now i know that i don't have kids and i'm not saying that spanking is bad, i'm just contributing my two cents.