Birds are fucking crap. I mean, everybody's speaking about how beautiful birds singing can be and how joyful or uplifting it supposedly is. Yeah right! To me they sound more like they're broken or just plain mental. "Twee-uut! Twee-uut!" - and this can go for hours, totally unchanged! That monotonous chirping is anything but relaxing - most of them sound like second rate alarm clocks or fax machines anyway. You can't dance to it, you can't hum along to it - and seriously who's gonna play the finch or the wagtail to spice up a candle dinner?

You're gonna ruffle some feathers with that kind of talk...

Some nice pictures there my man.

I think birds are underrated, if anything. They're pretty (except that fuck ugly atrocity the goose) and most of them taste nice.

3bogs said:

Birds are NOT OVERRATED!!!






birdies

They're beautiful to look at.

But some of them DO have obnoxious tweets/songs/etc. BlueJays, especially.

birds are alright outside, I can't for the life of me figure out why someone would own them, though...

minneapolisgenius said:

agREED!!!! how could ANYone overlook the obvious beauty of the bird? they have lovely voices (and loud too, even way early in the morning), they're generous with their extra feathers, seeds and droppings. you don't even have to search around for these, they'll be spread handily on the carpet for you, and chewing! birds can fly anywhere and chew on anything, including book covers, tax returns, chess pieces, pictures on the wall - yes, on the wall, etc. birds also eat all the extra food you have on hand like lettucs, toast, carrot sticks so as to help avoid wasted edibles.. .. why birds are so freaking helpful it's a wonder most households don't have a dozen or so

and to think a flightless, featherless human would have the sheer nerve to criticize such elegance.. .. huh.

3bogs said:

there are shrew bitches of geese outside my office building. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU JUST LAID 10 EGGS. leave me alone.

birds are disgusting and scary. they are, essentially, flying rodents.

togdog said:

I've heard people call Pigeons "Rats of the skies"

togdog said:

ha. you're just envious 'cause YOU can't fly

XxAxX said:

that's true. but they're still disgusting and scary

Aw, I used to have a lovebird named Chico. He was the man!

togdog said:

ohhhhh THIS is gonna be a long thread. moderators are gonna havta [snip - anti-bird-person flame removed]

theVelvetRoper said:

that's almost as good as a red fox.

starkitty said:

I hear you. As much as I hate the goose, i hate geese more. It's a fuck ugly collective noun - it sounds evil when you say it and leaves your mouth in such a position that your teeth are vulnerable to attack. Probably from them, the fuckers.

Kill all fucking ugly gooses.

XxAxX said:

They ARE great document shredders.

I have two love birds and at times I want to kill them.

But I love them.

I would have expected at least a few British feminists to have complained about the thread title by now...



Or maybe I was the only one who read it that way?

Vibrator said:

frankly my fine feathered friend, I don't give a turd

minneapolisgenius said:

yes they are great shredders my baby cockatiel is very sweet and cuddly, he sits on my chest, (stomach, knees, arms, shoulders, head) while I’m reading and no matter HOW many decoy postcards i give him to chew on the one thing he simply must sink his beak into is the paperback book I’m reading. so now most of my paperbacks have a kind of swiss-cheese look from his efforts

this thread is for the birds..
[This message was edited Thu Apr 8 12:06:01 2004 by maybecabdriver]

Birds

XxAxX said: