Do you dive under the bed? Jump for joy? Start cleaning the place immediately?

I just had a call from my mom. My parents are coming tomorrow. I knew they were coming but not exactly when they would show up. At first, she wanted to come tonight, but it would have meant cancelling on a bunch of people and, hum, NO SEX! I'd be terribly cranky. So I asked them to come tomorrow, late enough to not have to wake at the crack of dawn to give to organize and clean this chaos I call home and buy some crackers, wine and coffee beans. Yes, I drink instant.

Does anyone has tips? How do you handle your parents visits?

Aerogram said:

U mean u have any taste left?

Anyway, the one who is providing u with sex is the perfect person to carry the burden of a parent's visit. Husher them into town, into the garden, into the newly decorated room or, even better, into a bar. Say you will take care of the food.

All u have to do is pick up two bottles of champagne, two bottles of red wine, some quality bread and a selection of 3/4 cheeses and some quality butter.

Step1: ask them about their trip.
Step2: provide them with champagne (say something like: an occasion like this requires champagne)
Step3: ask them about wherever u'r significant other took them the last two hours
Step4: provide more champagne and dissapear in the kitchen (say something like: i'm putting the finishing touches to our dinner)
Step5: get everybody around the table, and provide them with bread, cheese and (lots of) wine
Step6: touch a subject of conversation that u know Parent1 is highly interested in and Parent2 highly annoyed by
Step6: have foot-sex with significant other while parents argue
Step7: If necessary, talk about children. This will make parents happy. Be sure to provide more wine.
Step8: Tell them they are in no condition to drive and suggest they take a nap on the couch.
Step9: DON'T wake them until you are sure that Parent1 will be horrified to find out how late it already is and they should go home immediately.
Step10: Tell them how sorry you are they already have to go, how much you enjoyed their stay, and that you look forward to their next visit.

Et voilà
[This message was edited Sat Mar 27 14:38:20 2004 by SpcMs]

Aerogram said:

U mean u have any taste left?

Anyway, the one who is providing u with sex is the perfect person to carry the burden of a parent's visit. Husher them into town, into the garden, into the newly decorated room or, even better, into a bar. Say you will take care of the food.

All u have to do is pick up two bottles of champagne, two bottles of red wine, some quality bread and a selection of 3/4 cheeses and some quality butter.

Step1: ask them about their trip.
Step2: provide them with champagne (say something like: an occasion like this requires champagne)
Step3: ask them about wherever u'r significant other took them the last two hours
Step4: provide more champagne and dissapear in the kitchen (say something like: i'm putting the finishing touches to our dinner)
Step5: get everybody around the table, and provide them with bread, cheese and (lots of) wine
Step6: touch a subject of conversation that u know Parent1 is highly interested in and Parent2 highly annoyed by
Step6: have foot-sex with significant other while parents argue
Step7: If necessary, talk about children. This will make parents happy. Be sure to provide more wine.
Step8: Tell them they are in no condition to drive and suggest they take a nap on the couch.
Step9: DON'T wake them until you are sure that Parent1 will be horrified to find out how late it already is and they should go home immediately.
Step10: Tell them how sorry you are they already have to go, how much you enjoyed their stay, and that you look forward to their next visit.

Et voilà
[This message was edited Sat Mar 27 14:38:20 2004 by SpcMs]

Just be yourself. Get in a shitload of alcohol and make sure everyone is slaughtered. Then tell them about your piercings...

Just be yourself. Get in a shitload of alcohol and make sure everyone is slaughtered. Then tell them about your piercings...

seriously though

my folks split so this scenario wont ever play out for me


one at a time is enough anyway trust me


natume -

to you i say , they spawned you young lady

put up with them and smile damnit










.
[This message was edited Sun Mar 28 16:09:16 2004 by shausler]

Instant coffee