I guess I don't have any advice.

My parents are visiting me now. It wasn't exactly short-notice (I've known since December or so) but I already want to blow my brains out. Thank god we're not staying in the same room, though that'll change on Monday when we head out to Edinburgh.



I'm in bad need of some tips, too!

My parents don't come visit me. I visit them. In fact, now that I think back my dad has never even seen any apartment I've lived in since I moved out when I was 18.
I guess I don't have any advice.

Instant coffee

SpcMs said:

My taste buds are lazy.

I'm getting constructive!

Aerogram said:

And as for the cheese - how about Kraft? I love me some American cheese!

CarrieMpls said:

Maybe you could help me select the kind of cheese I'll buy?

(usually goat)

Aerogram said:

Cheese advice. OK, I usually go to a nice gourmet grocery, tell them what I like and have someone pick it out for me. I do the same with wine. I like yummy things but I never remember to remember the brands/labels I like. I like soft, creamy cheeses (usually goat) and often go for those that are already packaged and infused with things like garlic and roasted red pepper in olive oil. Of course, you can never go wrong with a nice baked Brie.

CarrieMpls said:

No american cheese. We're practically French.

SpcMs said:

My taste buds are lazy.

Wait, so your parents aren't staying overnight?



lucky boy!

Aerogram said:

U mean u have any taste left?

Anyway, the one who is providing u with sex is the perfect person to carry the burden of a parent's visit. Husher them into town, into the garden, into the newly decorated room or, even better, into a bar. Say you will take care of the food.

All u have to do is pick up two bottles of champagne, two bottles of red wine, some quality bread and a selection of 3/4 cheeses and some quality butter.

Step1: ask them about their trip.
Step2: provide them with champagne (say something like: an occasion like this requires champagne)
Step3: ask them about wherever u'r significant other took them the last two hours
Step4: provide more champagne and dissapear in the kitchen (say something like: i'm putting the finishing touches to our dinner)
Step5: get everybody around the table, and provide them with bread, cheese and (lots of) wine
Step6: touch a subject of conversation that u know Parent1 is highly interested in and Parent2 highly annoyed by
Step6: have foot-sex with significant other while parents argue
Step7: If necessary, talk about children. This will make parents happy. Be sure to provide more wine.
Step8: Tell them they are in no condition to drive and suggest they take a nap on the couch.
Step9: DON'T wake them until you are sure that Parent1 will be horrified to find out how late it already is and they should go home immediately.
Step10: Tell them how sorry you are they already have to go, how much you enjoyed their stay, and that you look forward to their next visit.

Et voilà
[This message was edited Sat Mar 27 14:38:20 2004 by SpcMs]

SpcMs said:

I think you may just be a genius at this stuff. Unfortunately and if all goes well, my partner will need is beauty sleep.

Aerogram said:

No Problemo. Gather you'r holliday photos (or dias, even better) of the last years. Make sure to have many of them. Tell them you went on a trip a few weekend ago, if they care to watch some pictures. Hide in the kitchen. It they get suspicious, or think they recognise someone, just yell: 'those are just some people i met over there' or 'yeah, it was a pretty big place'.

Other possibilities: tell your father your car engine makes a strange noice. provide your mother with sufficient gossip magazines.

Should I worry with fancy napkin folding?

Oh my... what if X keeps me up all night? I'll look terrible.

You are a well of advice! I'm gathering pictures right now.
[This message was edited Sat Mar 27 15:20:50 2004 by Aerogram]

Aerogram said:

tell you what dear, i'll take us all out to a nice thai restaurant. no need to worry about throwing together a gourmet meal at the last minute. and as for the bedding, check in the closet - i washed it this morning so it's all nice and fresh. (i THINK i got the stains out). that leaves only the *questionable* items usually stashed under the bed - box them up and slap a label on them, like you're mailing off gift packs to your pals. this way, you hide the things your parents don't want to know about AND get points for being a considerate friend