Here are two I heard from students today. the first one is one of my students, the second one is another teachers student.

Student one:

A guy called at 8.45 am (the class begins at 9.am) to say that Sarah wont be in today.

One of my colleagues took the call!

Teacher: Hi,
Boyfriend: Hello, Sarah wont be in today she has a dentists appointment.
Teacher: oh okay, Can I ask who you are?
Boyfriend: I'm the dentist's receptionist.
Teacher: ~dismay~ oh okay thanks bye.




I cant even begin to tell you how much we chuckled at this!

Student two:

Student: I dont feel well, can I go home?
Teacher: Oh , whats wrong?
Student: There are some people I dont like being around.
Teacher: ~Silence at first~ I think you should go back to class.
Teacher to me: Did you hear that?
Me: Yes! <----the look on my face.


No she wasn't allowed to go home!


What excuses have you heard for anything that have been funny, ridiculous?

Lleena said:

My son told me once that he couldn´t go to school because he had his period he was 8 at that time

Those are priceless!!!

I once had a student me tell me she wasn't in class because her aunt had to have emergency breast reduction surgery...

Llee! Those are great!

AndGodCreatedMe... that is hilarious!

too funny! puts my old "i have to go to a funeral" to shame (i quickly ran out of family and friends... what a sad few years HS and college were... )

Thanks guys!

9s and AndGodCreatedMe!
those are hilarious!!


Another thing we do if the students are consistently absent or late is phone them on their mobiles phones...usually you catch them out with their friends...let me tell you they turn up to class pretty sharpish when you do that!

IAmTheTouch said:

some of the students have attended their grandmothers funeral about five times already...

"i'm sorry i won't be in to work today, or ever again because i finally came to my senses."

XxAxX said:

Nice one XxAxX

"I won't be coming into work today.....I have to go visit the last boss I put in hospital"

althom said:

did you actually say that althom!!!!? omg!!!!!

I'm scared now!!

Lleena said:

you know, there've been days when i've been tempted to use that. the alarm rings, i slap it off then lie ther fantasizing about calling in to submit a lengthy commentary about how american culture is messed up by the fact that we work over-time to pay for 'time-saving' devices, not to mention that no matter how much i produce in the end i'll always be required to produce even more because the almighty Gross National Product simply MUST increase every year for the so-called good of the economy. then segue into a tirade about capitalism being similar to economic slavery for the working class and finish up with an argument in favor of simplifying my life by quitting my job, packing my troubles in a kit bag and going away to live off coconuts and pineapples on the beaches of mexico

but then i get dressed and go to work

XxAxX said:

you know dropping out of the rat race seems like a very attractive prospect, but at the moment I guess I am lucky having a job I dont mind getting up for. Theres nothing worse than feeling like a part of the machinery. I've been there too.

Lleena said:

that dang pay cheque comes in handy sometimes. darn it.

XxAxX said:

It sure does!

AndGodCreatedMe said:

at this thread.

... one of my students doesn't give any verbal excuse for not following along in class, he just falls asleep. I am wondering if he has this behavior done pat.

And the thing is... what do you do? He is a new student and I have sent him to the nurse on several occasions. We have notified his parents as well.

Trying to wake him or seemingly wake him takes so much time out of class instruction, while at the same time... if he continues to do this, he is falling academically behind.

Freespirit said:

hmmm...i used to fall asleep in class too (hell of alot)...maybe he's just a nightbird...up all hours during the dark

Lleena said:

maybe i could convince my boss to give up the practice of law for the more satisfying work of forming a cooperative and growing raspberries in wisconsin. maybe talk him into changing the firm's direction. hey! i know! i'll draft up a proposal and bring it in on monday morning!

Freespirit said:

Poke him gently in the neck with a ruler!!!!

IAmTheTouch said:

That reminds me... I was in a play with a friend of mine in high school and she had forgotten to request one of the weekends off from her part-time retail job for some performances. It was her first job and she'd only worked there a few months and decided to just tell them her grandmother died. Well, when she got home from school that Friday and was going to get ready to leave for the theatre, she received an enormous array of flowers with a card signed by each person in her department expressing their condolences. She also received funeral pay for having the weekend off. She felt incredibly bad about the whole thing and I doubt she's lied about missing work again.

althom said:

CarrieMpls said:

Oh dear

@ this thread

My students always tell me that they lost there bookbag so they couldn't do there homework,

then I say "Isn't that your bookbag right there?"

and they go yup.

What do you expect? My students all take the shortbus to school.

Freespirit said:

Sounds like he's not sleeping at home. My kids do this too, I just let them sleep. I don't know what it's like where you are interning but I work in a VERY bad area. My kids tell me some scary shit so I understand why they don't feel safe at night.

I'd ask your cooperating teacher if she thinks a parent conference is necessary. Also watch out that he's changing his clothes, note how many school lunches he's downing, look for bruises, keep a log, you might have to call child protective services.

It might sound extreme, but maybe it's just because of the environment I work in that I've learned to think this way.