Tom said:

And you're supposedly a Prince fan!

BLASPHEMOUS!!

sinisterpentatonic said:

shuddup, sin.

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Firstly is mainly a chemical thing that gets you, you know, like a drug you gotta have more of. If you are lucky that person you got yourself the hots for feels the same about you and is a decent person that respects you and adores you. Then having a boyfriend/girlfriend is a good thing, but is rare that it happens this way - took me a few tries to get the right one in the end. Usually you get the hots for someone completely wrong for you, which is the biggest fault in this whole sequence of events.
You are young still. But it must be said, if you don't want a boyfriend, you probably don't have to have one and I guess there's not much wrong with that. It is true that you don't need one at all, but if you got a good one, they are very nice to have around (not to mention the sex ).

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

You know it's true!

If you're happy with how things are then who needs a man/woman. You will know when you are ready for a relationship, so don't hurry.

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Good one!

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Dansa, don't let anybody make you feel as if it's a personal flaw of some kind. You're still a young buck, and you might be a late bloomer in this area. That's not a bad thing. And I know exactly what you mean when you bring up how men try and ingratiate themselves with you; how a man approaches you is important, and tells you a lot about him. It was always one of the first litmus tests for me. It can make or break anything potential that may have been there. You're ready when YOU'RE ready. Peer pressure is more about your peers than about you.

Supernova said:

are you ready Nova?

Fuck it, you don't need a mate.

But it's an individual thang. I don't like being alone.

For 1, there's the rumpy pumpy.

2, it's nice to have someone to cuddle at night. Specially if they become your best friend too.

But if you prefer goin' solo, that's cool.

luv4u said:

WENDY!!

WENDY!!!

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

I am so proud of you. What are you, like 23? Learn from those around you Dansa. I got into the wanting a relationship, wanting to just be with someone so much that I made a lot of mistakes. After a long term relationship ended for me, I felt that no one would be interested in me because I was a single parent so I got into shit that I never should have and put up with a lot of bullshit. Now at the old age of 34, I have learned to value solitude, am my own best friend and have realised that a man or woman does not make or break me.

Good for you, girlie.

Why have romantic relationships? I think there is a realm of emotions to explore there, but you can say that about a lot of things (having children, going on Fear Factor. . . ). If it's not something you want, who cares? Same for sex. It's a different thing with a partner, but if you don't need it, yeay.

The most incredible thing that I've found in a partner is a sense of home. A feeling that, wherever I go in the world, whatever happens to me, if I've got him, I've got a safe, warm, happy place right there for me. There is a fearlessness that comes with that. But I think some people are happier being wanderers, and I can understand that.

Plus, relationships are fucking complicated. Don't like drama? Avoid love.

For me, the best thing about being in a relationship is in house pussy, I'm lazy so I hate having to drive to Lake Street to get some azz.

That relationship thing is overrated. (Okay, I've been with the boyfriend for years....) I've never been one of those women who felt incomplete w/o a man. F that! When I was "single" and going to the clubs it was never about a manhunt. (Heck, I was going to the clubs even when I was hooked up.) It was just about listening to good music and getting my dance on! When I watch shows like Springer and see woman and men fighting over mates its farcical. I know someone going through major drama over a man now. Left her husband and child for him. (Though, she sees it differently.) It's so f'n bizarre to me. It's like the guy is an accessory, like she sees herself as the total package when they're together. I can't wrap my mind around that type of behavior or mindset.

Heck, if you're single and happy, more power to ya! btw, I think this is one of the reasons why I'm not a big fan of "Valentine's Day". It makes single people look like freaks. Who says that you need a mate to be happy? Or, that you need to prove your love on 2/14? My thing is, if it's real, then Valentine's Day should be 24/7 365! In my opinion, the best thing about "Valentine's Day" is the 50% off chocolates sales the day after.

UptownDeb said:

Damn I miss Fannie May!

Tom said:

Or discontinued.

billysparxxx said:

he said muh'fuckin lake street....

HobbesLeCute said:

marry me then i can kick yo ass at air hockey
[This message was edited Wed Mar 17 8:02:22 2004 by blackcherry]

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

I'd say...do u. I'm not going to be one to say a relationship is over rated or that singlehood is the best thing. Its where you find peace. One is not better than the other but where you want to be.



and lastly...

billysparxxx said:

"In-house-pussy" .... I would have to co-sign though (except i dont drive to Lake Street)

Its the idea of knowing someone is their for you when you need them... that you have someone to love you and you love them back.. You can spoil them and BE spoiled. Have someone to share your holidays with.. your special occasions...

And of course someone to have sex with anytime you want.. is always an added plus

Their is no big deal about relationships..

I myself like having someone to touch, to talk to, to laugh with. To share intimate moments with. And to grow with.

And if I am by myself I am ok with that as well...

Baby gurl when the student is ready the teacher will come... Enjoy your young single life..

sag10 said:

Ohhh! I like that.
(You've got me singing George Michael's "Father Figure" right about now.)

TheFrog said:

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Since that is the COMPLETE opposite of me, I would say that you probably grew up in a nice family and your parents are still together and they taught you very important things about self-esteem and what not.

I always wanted a relationship, always chose the wrong guys who didn't want me or didn't treat me well. Nothing major, just a lot of emotional bondage patterns that definitely stemed from not having a good father to depend on. At 31, I'm finally starting to understand it all. I've been in a "good" relationship for 4 years and I STILL have issues about love, etc.

So, since you're young, I think it's great that you don't feel like you NEED anyone to complete your life. It's great that you are truly getting to know yourself before you get in a relationship. I think that is very important. Unfortunately, most people almost HAVE to be in a relationship and make lots of mistakes and go through lots of drama to learn these life lessons. AND, for the most part, people keep being "taught" these lessons and never learn from them.

sag10 said:

Beautifully stated and I agree 100%

It boils down to this, if you're HAPPY being alone then don't worry about it. Sure, its unusual, but don't conform to expectations just because folks make you feel like you're weird. I think most folks who freak out over it are just projecting their own insecurities about being alone onto you.

Personally, I'm happier if I'm in a relationship, but that's me. I see that people are different, and have different desires and needs. What works for me won't necessarily work for you, and vice-versa. All that matters is if you're content.

VinaBlue said:

i was taught all that, but my folks had an on/off relationship for the most part when i was growin up and my mom passed away when i was 7, so i was raised by my father from then on.

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Interesting. That was my second assumption. That you somehow learned self-reliance by example. As long as you are happy its cool. But people will scratch their heads because not needing/wanting a relationship is pretty unusual.