Dating does suck..

But I never really dated.

When I have hooked up with someone we usually hit it off immediately. I put my self out there, express what I am, and if it works fine, if not ok. It was fun.

I have a pretty nice boyfriend.. Except he is so jealous. But I don't let that stop me from enjoying my friends, and my life.

TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said:

CarrieMpls said:

Yeah, but there are always exceptions to the rule. I've been in casual relationships that have gone on longer than 2 months, and they were fine. Sometimes they end when one person finds someone else to get serious with, but that's fine too. Usually this works with older women. Younger ones tend to get attached much more. I just can't deal with drama and attitudes. It's not necessary.

EvilWhiteMale said:

Gee you get around a lot huh... old women, Young women.. next you'll be posting about your "relationships" with a cat.. at least there would be no drama in that huh??

BabyCakes said:

That's for damn sure, though I don't need to resort to beastiality. That's not the kind of pussy I'm into.

EvilWhiteMale said:

Okay..enjoy

BabyCakes said:

Thank you, I certainly will.

EvilWhiteMale said:

Well, I've been divorced for a year now, and I absolutely hate being single! I was with my wife for 8 years (dated for 3, married for 5) and I never intended to be in the single scene again.

It sucks because so many guys fuck women over that they no longer can trust anyone. So many women think that me treating them with kindness and respect is some sort of ploy, and they end it because its "too good to be true". I've had female friends tell me that I'm too nice, and that I should be a little bit mean. I just can't do that though, its not in my makeup. I hate when people play games with me, so I refuse to do it to others.

JediMaster said:

Dont' be mean Jedi.. And dont play with women's emotions... Your beyond that!!! The right lady will come along soon enough!

JediMaster said:

It works both ways. A lot of guys are jaded and frustrated cuz a lot of women are really fucked up, and they wind up messing with the guy's mind. Women fuck guys over all the time.

JediMaster said:

Use the Jedi mind trick, and you'll have it your way!

Being single can be great: you're only responsible for taking care of your own needs (or those of your children, if you have them), and you're able to do what you want to do without taking someone else's desires into account.

Dating and/or being single can be really tough. I've had a hard time finding someone to be serious with. I'll go on a few dates with someone, and it's obvious from the beginning that one of us is either more interested than the other, or that we're not as compatible as we thought we were.

I've tried not being so "picky", thinking maybe I was being too judgmental or demanding--but then that "spark" just isn't there if I'm not physically or intellectually stimulated by that person (and the intellectual/mental/spiritual is just as important as the physical, if not moreso!). I've also admitted to myself that I would have more guys to select from if I lost some weight and did some physical self-improvement to make myself more "marketable", but then I get frustrated that something so superficial should matter.....

I've always prided myself on my independence, and have loved traveling, discovering other cities/countries, making friends and experiencing so much! But now I'm at the age where people are starting wonder, and I"m feeling awkward about not being with someone or having children. When I was younger, whenever I was down I used to reassure myself that I had lots of time to find the right guy. But now it's time to settle down, and I look around and it seems the good ones are taken.

Add: Oh--and as far as your question as to WHY it's so difficult to find someone. I have no idea!! If I knew, I'd be with someone! Seriously, though, I've found that there are a lot of people out there who aren't very smart, or they're self-centered, or have some kind of alcohol/drug problem, or have bad "boundaries" (they tell you everything and more than you need to know on the first date--I need honesty, but I don't need to know every horrible thing you ever did on our first date, lol), or they don't have much passion for anything. Or--I'm just not attracted to them.
[This message was edited Wed Mar 3 17:45:19 2004 by AnotherLoverToo]

BabyCakes said:

Babycakes, you are giving this man the wrong advice...being the nice guy will never get you laid, LOL. However, you may find someone who likes you 4 you, but she probably won't be the woman you want to be with. Woman play a lot of games nowadays. I use to have that corny fairy tale of walking into a store and I see this gorgeous female and she is staring me down as well..and we exchange numbers, go out and fall in love....NOT! That shyt is dead man..I have given up on love, I just enjoy life and meet wonderful women with no expectations.have my fun and if we fall for each other, great, but no longer will my heart get involved. I stay by myself and make good money and have no headaches stressing over a woman..but if your a nice guy by nature, that is your makeup and it is hard to change that. I am this way because of my life experiences and I am a better man because of this..I'm stronger (mentally) and can deal with dissapointments easier now.

goat2004 said:

Oh, when I said meet women with no expectations...I didn't mean women who didn't want anything in life, I meant as far as the relationship goes...no expectations, just go with the flow..like a new Prince album, LOL. Get it?

EvilWhiteMale said:

I hear you big time..

Me and my girl just went our seperate ways cause she wanted more time with me than I could offer.

I guess she wanted a "relationship" and I just wanted to hang out, talk, fuck and what not and then get on with the rest of my life.

The "relationship" part sucks for me cause there'll be all these expectations, restraints and.... well, ya'll know the drill.

So I'd rather just fuck around - preferably with the same girl - but if that's not possible I guess that's just the way it is

BabyCakes said:

Like I said, I just don't think I could be mean, even if I wanted to. I really hate when people lead me on or play with my emotions, so I sure as hell don't want to do it to someone else. I think sometimes people think you're weak if you don't play the games, when in reality its the complete opposite.

Adisa said:

That only works on the weak-minded. I want a woman with a brain.

EvilWhiteMale said:

Indeed it does work both ways. I'm afraid I'm becoming jaded myself. You can only get screwed over so many times before you start to wonder what the hell is wrong with either yourself, or the people you're dating.

JediMaster said:

I know you have more morals that playing with women.. and I know you will do the right thing... I hope you find someone that has everything your looking for!

JediMaster said:

I think I'll wind up marrying someone from another country. Someone with a different mindset.

EvilWhiteMale said:

EvilWhiteMale said:

I'm sorry you feel that way, Evil as there are many wonderful women her in the states. We all don't have a fucked up mindset.

Cloudbuster said:

Stay away from my man, bitch.

ThreadBare said:

I know where ya comin from.

TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said:

CokeJohnson said:

That's selfish, sweetie. But.....very manish. We women are always warned about that. Love, companionship, but with no accountability or responsibility.
I was the female on that end and I'm very bitter abou tit. Maybe because two years later, I could have been somewhere else doing something else dealing with someone else who could handle it....I'm not bitter though ; )

We seal our fate with the decisions we make; )

KatSkrizzle said:

well... everybody's selfish really when you look at it. She is selfish to for wanting more time
with me than I can possibly offer.

It's all about expectations: she expects more of me than I expect of her; so the equation is not right, we are not compatible at this particular stage of our lifes.

Good to hear that you're not bitter cause it's really not worth it. How unromantic this may sound, relationships are basically a give and take situation: you need to get approximately what you give for it to work.

So I'm in a relationship for what she can give me and vice versa; we are both "selfish" to stay in your terminology...

- CJ

EvilWhiteMale said:

interesting thread

dating does suck, what could be more awkward unless you find someone you truly click with. we should just legalize prostitution and separate the 'sex and relationship' people from the 'only wanna have sex' people. less confusion, deception and drama in the long run