JUST GOT MY HIV TEST RESULTS...

Even though I practice safe sex and I get tested about every six months it's still quite a terrifying experience. I literally pace the office lobby and my mind goes to all kinds of crazy dark places and everytime I get my results I have to do a little crying...weird?

congrats

the stress and crying is perfectly normal, i did it everytime, waiting for my results too. then when they did come back poz, i was rather unemotional. hee hee

and good on you for goign every 6 months. far too many people wait and just go if and when there is a scare

I could never take one of those!

TheResistor said:

U are very brave. I had a blood test once where they looked for all kinds of things and I saw HIV was on the list (this was a few years back) and they said there was no problem. I havn't actually had sex since so I should be alright.

KAMILLE said:

you should 'mille... why could you not?

KAMILLE said:

I was terrified the very first time I took the test (about four years ago). The stress and anxiety nearly killed me. But it gets a bit easier each time. You know I was talking to my roommate (she's straight) and I was mentioning how we gay men have to deal with this life or death situation every time we have sex. And she told me to get over it as she also has the fear of the disease.

TheResistor said:

yea, it is universal to everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, geder, color, or creed. gay men are just very sensetive to it because we were the first hit by it, and because we, in general, are more educated about it.

cborgman said:

I'm far too scared. I couldn't go on knowing I was positive.

KAMILLE said:

it's not as bad as people think it is. i have found it to be quite managable and that a lot of our fear of it stems from seeing worst case scenario examples. i equate it to being diabetic. just have to watch my bllodwork, ad be careful. at some point in the future, it will get much worse, but a big part of managing it is knowing before it becomes unmanagable.

my mantra for dealing with it has been "far worse things happen to much better people"
[This message was edited Thu Dec 4 10:55:43 PST 2003 by cborgman]

Congrats. I turn into a mess every time too. I mean you hear those stories of people who get it the very first time they have sex. You gotta go on living your life either way.

KAMILLE said:

in fairness to yourself and any potential partners, you HAVE to go - do the responsible thing and be tested on a regular basis. your temporary fear stands in no relation to the potential harm you can cause by not knowing.

Congrats.

God, I recall testing every few months or so. It was absolute torture: Either you go the cheap route and have to wait a hellish week or more for results, or you shell out loads of cash to get your results in an hour. In the meantime, you play back all the remotely risky things you've done in your head and convince yourself that every sneeze... every ache... is associated with coming down with AIDS. I remember being overly nice to people and even bargaining with God around the time I took my tests. Stuff like: "If you help me out with this one, I promise NEVER to swear again!"


It's such a total mindf*ck... but it's SO important that you do it.

IAmTheTouch said:

So true.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Hey Kid!

How are you these days?

Lammastide said:

It really is...


And Kamille, 'Touch' is right...

Do it for your health and the health of your future partner(s).

TheResistor said:

Could you send me my stuff now?