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do you still believe in santa?  
if you can't handle the dope then  and quitchya bitchin...... | |
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He only died 3 years ago?  When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. | |
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 >I don't feel I need to explain myself so let me explain < | |
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irrelevant said:  I like that! | |
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Your family is asleep. There comes a man through the chimney. He's walking around in your house. He opens the door of your children's bedroom. He peeps in. Your hear the sounds. But go back to sleep. With a smile on your face. It must be Santa Claus... | |
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Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben a good Boy all yeer. YeR FReND, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a career lawn care specialist. How 'bout I send you a freakin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell! Santa --- Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa --- Dear Santa, I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really really want a fire truck this year! Love, Joey Dear Joey, Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna torch your freakin house. Then you'll have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with! Santa --- Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having with the babysitter? He's banging her like a screen door in a hurricane, son! Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Santa --- Dear Santa, I need more Pokemon cards please! All my friends have more Pokemon cards than me. Please see what you can do. Love, Michelle Dear Michelle, It blows my frickin' mind! Kids are forcing their parents to buy hundreds of dollars worth of these stupid cards, and none of you snot-nosed DORKS are even learning to play the game. Let me get you something more your speed, like "Chutes and Ladders." Santa --- Dear Santa, I want a new bike, playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis Dear Francis, Francis...FRANCIS! Who the hell names their kid "Francis" nowadays? How 'bout I get you a Barbie and Ken doll FRANCIS! ...hahahahahahahahaha. Tell me Francis, do you get punched in the face alot in school? hehehehehohoho Santa --- Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face. If you want to be a kiss-ass, then leave me a glass of Chivas Regal and some Toblerone! Santa --- Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, You must be a major DORK. Don't you read the freakin' tags you little loser? All toys get made in China! I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most my time squeezing cocktail waitresses asses, and losing all my cash at the craps table. And NO you little dweeb - reindeers can't fly. But they sure taste good with A-1 sauce! Santa --- Dear Santa, I really, really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please PLEASE! Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging crap may work with your folks, but that stuff don't work up here. You're getting a sweater again. Are you by any chance related to Francis? Santa --- Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, Firstly, stop calling yourself "Marky," that's why you're getting your ass beat at school. Secondly, you don't live in a house, that's a low-rent apartment complex you're living in. Thirdly, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams! Santa | |
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He curssed out the elves and threw down his list Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks, I have good mind to scrap the whole works I've busted my ass for damn near a year Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear The old lady bitches cause I work late at night The elves want more money - the reindeer all fight Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS And just when I thought that things would get better Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny Who the hell ever sent Santa Clause any money And the kids these days - they all are the pits They want the impossible ... Those mean little shits I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds Assembling dolls... Their arms, legs and heads I made a ton of yo yo's - No request for them They want computers and robots... they think I'm IBM! Flying through the air... dodging the trees Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees I'm quitting this job... there's just no enjoyment I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment There's no X-mas this year... now you know the reason I found me a blonde.. I'm going SOUTH for the season! | |
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REDFEATHERS said: He curssed out the elves and threw down his list Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks, I have good mind to scrap the whole works I've busted my ass for damn near a year Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear The old lady bitches cause I work late at night The elves want more money - the reindeer all fight Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS And just when I thought that things would get better Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny Who the hell ever sent Santa Clause any money And the kids these days - they all are the pits They want the impossible ... Those mean little shits I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds Assembling dolls... Their arms, legs and heads I made a ton of yo yo's - No request for them They want computers and robots... they think I'm IBM! Flying through the air... dodging the trees Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees I'm quitting this job... there's just no enjoyment I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment There's no X-mas this year... now you know the reason I found me a blonde.. I'm going SOUTH for the season! :LOL: :LOL: | |
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DOPEE said: That picture is hilarious, that ppor kid. :LOL: | |
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today is st. nick's day isn't it?
everyone quick put out your shoes! | |
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Paisley said: DOPEE said: That picture is hilarious, that ppor kid. :LOL: 
The pain on the poor kid's face.  | |
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no I can't say that I do dopee... chemmie killed the spirit...
 *__________*__________*__________*________*__
SO IF YA WANT SOME GET SOME BAD ENUFF TAKE SOME STOOP it is, but stoop I don't | |
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Slick Nick, You Devil You
by Fishbone Slick Nick stole a reindeer from the Zoo Fell down my chimney with a keg of brew Put my dog out in the cold Ripped off the candy from my socks Smokin' cloves and drinkin' Scotch Slick Nick you devil you (Devil you, devil you) Slick Nick you devil you (Devil you, devil you) Dressed in red and overweight boot Stole the TV and the stereo And the toys The toys were broken too You devil you Slick Nick you devil you I saw Slick Nick fall over the X-mas tree He was a Whole different man from What mom and dad told me Spillin' Jack Daniels all over the drapes Spray-painting a bad finger over the fireplace Tatoos on his arms and knees I never thought Santa Claus Would be such a sleaze ! But... Slick Nick you devil you... Cussin' and coppin' and playin' punk-rock And every once in a while you'd just scratch your jock Hey ! Slick Nick, where are my toys ? You went drinking with the boys You put Mad Dog in my sock I wanted candy (x3) Oh, Oh ! I thought you were my buddy and chum But you're just a downtown bum Instead of putting presents in front of my eyes You just told me a bunch of lies... Slick Nick you devil you... Santa Claus... Huh !  "I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven | |
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STOOP said: no I can't say that I do dopee... chemmie killed the spirit...
awww... poor reindeer!!  | |
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IAmTheTouch said: STOOP said: no I can't say that I do dopee... chemmie killed the spirit...
awww... poor reindeer!! dont worry...i'm sure he stuffed and mounted their heads above a grand fire place Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah...didn't miss the boat | |
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Fuhrer said: IAmTheTouch said: STOOP said: no I can't say that I do dopee... chemmie killed the spirit...
awww... poor reindeer!! dont worry...i'm sure he stuffed and mounted their heads above a grand fire place Santa, too, i hope! makes for a nice set! | |
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IAmTheTouch said: Fuhrer said: IAmTheTouch said: STOOP said: no I can't say that I do dopee... chemmie killed the spirit...
awww... poor reindeer!! dont worry...i'm sure he stuffed and mounted their heads above a grand fire place Santa, too, i hope! makes for a nice set! he probably stuffed and mounted santa's...ass...you know what these guys with guns are like Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah...didn't miss the boat | |
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Fuhrer said: he probably stuffed and mounted santa's...ass...you know what these guys with guns are like  | |
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IAmTheTouch said: Fuhrer said: he probably stuffed and mounted santa's...ass...you know what these guys with guns are like  Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
-- Dale Carnegie | |
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you didn't say icenine!  Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
-- Dale Carnegie | |
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Number32 said: you didn't say icenine!
 never thought about that... verrry interrrestink! | |
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