1. Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was asalted.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra . . .
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.

7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual."

9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said
Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" Exclaimed Daisy.

10. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

11. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

12. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.

13. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look
at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because
he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy"

14. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad , or maybe my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho- Cha Chu.
But I'm pretty sure it's Colin.

15. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

16. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50. that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'

17. I went to a seafood disco rave last week ... and pulled a mussel.

18. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

19. A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's... um...well... I have five penises" replies the man. Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove."

20. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

2the9s

2the9s said:

I thought you of all people would like it... One of my Org friends sent it to me...

2the9s said:

:francis l. slap:

go, mama!!! i liked the 'deja moo' one so much i'm puttin it up as my new signature.

sag10 said:

Maybe it's a hoax?

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

2the9s said:

No, it's Joey Bishop!

These are great Sag!!! :Lol:


....
[This message was edited Wed Oct 22 13:53:34 PDT 2003 by Lleena]

Lleena said:

You are so kind...

sag10 said:

thats to funny

sag10 said: