Boy meets girl. Boy really digs girl and has reason to believe she reciprocates to some degree. Boy asks to see her. Girl hesitates, then later says she has a boyfriend and can correspond and can't see boy in the near future. What does boy do?

Boy tells girl not to worry for he does not get jealous. Maybe boyfriend might but not this boy that met girl.

"Walk on, boy"

boy cries that the woman he wanted for over a year turned out to be the unattainable glimmer of hope in boy's otherwise dull and monotonous life.

boy then becomes best friend of girl, listens to her every concern, becomes her shoulder to cry on, and foolishly continues to think girl will come to her senses and like boy.

boy knows he should not be so naiive, and should find new girl, but just can't bring himself to do it, no matter what other boys and girls say.

I've seen this movie before...I know how it ends. You do, too, dearest boy.
[This message was edited Fri Oct 17 19:21:39 PDT 2003 by AnotherLoverToo]

boy says to dad- "what is the differnce between hypothetical and realistic?"

dad says to boy- "go and ask your mother if she would have sex with charlie next door for £500,000 and ask your sister if she would sleep with the postman for £500,000"

boy does as he is told

boy reports to dad that mum said "hell yeah!" and sister said "absolutely!"

dad tells boy- "there is the difference. hypothetially we're millionaires, but realistically we're just living with a couple of whores!"

namepeace said:

Tries to distance himself from her. If the boy continues to pursue at the girl's resistance, the boy can only get hurt by investing more time, energy and emotions into what the boy wants. Which according to the girl is not what she wants. If the boy believes he can be a platonic friend through correspondence, then the boy might not have anything to lose. But it seems to me the boy has already commenced investing himself. OR...

namepeace said:

In the "near future"? It would be interesting to find out if the girl really has a boyfriend, or if she just isn't ready to be involved right now, for whatever reason.

`
[This message was edited Fri Oct 17 19:16:40 PDT 2003 by Supernova]

AnotherLoverToo said:

Well, as C-3PO said in Ep IV, for some of us, "we were made 2 suffer. It's our lot in life.":

savoirfaire said:

I guess u went to the movies with ALToo.

"You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew."

namepeace said:

Some suffering is of our own making and can be avoided. And some people create their own suffering in order to avoid happiness, to stay heartsick and alone, because it's safe and familiar...

((the above is merely a buffet of opinion, not a fixed menu, from which to pick and choose))

AnotherLoverToo said:

Indeed. But that ain't necessarily the hypothetical, is it?

namepeace said:

Well, I was talking 'bout C-3PO, who were you talkin' bout?

Boy moves on.

Yes, he do, as apparently girl would rather be with boyfriend than with boy.

Move on little puppy.

AnotherLoverToo said:

IG-88. He had a pointy head and the kiddie droids in the Jawa tank made fun of him, so he turned to petty theft and became a bounty hunter for the Sith Lord.

namepeace said:

Wait til she's avalible and ready for some real lovin!

Damn...I thought this thread was about the Doobie Brothers...



But, anyway...you need to move on, sweetie and find someone who can be fully available to you...you deserve it!

i suspect the boy comes across as desperate without meaning to--boy needs to stand tall, beam with pride, and let the women come to him.

i could be wrong, of course--i bring it up because this boy has been there, and that was his problem, and that's how he solved it.

teller said:

boy who said this might be right. thanks boy.

teller said:

the advice is very well reasoned. but suppose boy stepped strong because he just had a feeling, and then backed off when it was time to "turn mother's picture to the wall and get out"?

if boy doesn't make himself known, he may miss out on "the" girl. matters of the heart are about taking calculated risks.

the risk is that boy creates the perception described above. but it would be better than being timid and not saying anything.

i've been there, too. the difference is, this writer took long years to come to his senses. this boy only needed a week. and so boy keeps moving.

applekisses said:

boy thanks you.

he will be ever vigilant in the future.

namepeace said:

Boy just needs to be emotionally honest and sincere...and he needs to do so no because he desires certain results, but simply because the living and expressing of those emotions is reward in and of itself.

Boy drops her like a hot potato. She just playing.

applekisses said:

ps) Hey Namepeace, Just like to add that I think you rock!

Cloudbuster said:

Thanks, Cloud, the love is mutual!

Maybe girl just needs push from right boy!

namepeace said:

"the" girl, eh? "the" girl wouldn't push you away, my friend...mutual feelings are mutual, and if anything, the man is always the one with the advantage (though it may seem the opposite). stepping strong may sound strong from where you sit, but in fact, stepping strong and standing tall are two different behaviors. if she wants you for you, then all you must do is be you; anticipation of more only weakens your hand. know that you have a strong hand...know that you are a supreme value; know that she, if she is worthy, must respond.

men pursue women, true...but in reality, women pursue men. and they want the strong man. the provider. the superman. the great and powerful.

i didn't exactly step strong, but i didn't step back. i gave out the signal and i knew it was right when it was returned--if it wasn't, i didn't. such is the chemistry.

teller said:

true. but in order to find out if she were "the" girl, i had to step strong. now that the "boy" has done so, and has answered the question in the negative, it's time to stand tall and ride on.

some guys are slow on the take to that concept. but i find that a man that learns that concept can take it too far. mistaking distance for strength. but a man who keeps his distance attracts women. why i have no idea, but it's true.

but you've got this down to a science, my friend.

I strongly believe that finding "the one" is about discovering the right combination of a.) chemistry, b.) good timing and c.) personality compatibility between two specific individuals--not just generic groups of "men" and "women".

Believing one gender is more (or less) 'in control' is sad. The need to even think that is strange, in my opinion, and only sets things up for future power struggles on the part of the person who cares so much about this 'control'. It's about two individuals responding to one another at a certain time, in a certain place--or not.